Relationship at work

[Loss]

Hi guys,

 

I wasn't sure if this the appropriate forum, but I really wanted to ask what to do as I can't stop thinking about something..

 

I work in the University and part of my job is supervising work-study students that work with us. Today a new girl started, who will work with us for one or two semesters and then has to leave when she graduates. I feel attracted to her and she seemed to be giving me hints as if to say that she might be attracted to me too. I walked her to the train (I feel she was waiting for me to finish up in my office and let me walk her) when we were going home, but I didn't give her any sings that I might be interested in anything. I don't know if it would be appropriate...I really want to get to know her better but I don't know what to do or if it would be ok since I'm her supervisor.

 

Do you guys have any suggestions? Is this too inapproriate and something that is not acceptable at work or do I have a chance?

 

Thanks you! Looking forward to reading any replies.

 

Loss.

[jondav]

I think if you are feeling there is something there than you should. It could back fire and be bad sure, but if it worked out..

[Loss]

Thanks, jondav.

 

I'm still not really sure, and even if I did something I don't know what would be the best way to approach this...If I asked her to go out with me would she be pressured to because I'm her supervisor? Would just telling her how I feel and seeing how she reacts be the best way?

 

I was thinking maybe I should ask her if she would like to hang out as friends and see what happens, but I really don't know. We are friends on Facebook now, but I guess that's not saying much...

[Loss]

So I finally asked her "out" and we will be going to a Broadway show on Friday. When I asked her I used the term "hang out". We mainly talked about non-work related stuff on Facebook or after work when I walked her to the train last night. Any last minute suggestions? I'm really nervous about this but it feels right..

[sid3]

So I finally asked her "out" and we will be going to a Broadway show on Friday. When I asked her I used the term "hang out". We mainly talked about non-work related stuff on Facebook or after work when I walked her to the train last night. Any last minute suggestions? I'm really nervous about this but it feels right..

 

Is there a policy regarding work place relationships at your university?

 

You didn't state if there was an age gap, I'm guessing there isn't.

Last minute suggestions, noy really. Except at least make sure at some point you make your romantic interests known. Save yourself some wondering after the date.

[Loss]

Thank you for your reply, Sid.

 

There isn't a policy like this at my work that I know of, but I guess you never know

 

We're pretty close in age..I haven't asked her how old she is, but I think I might be 1-2 years older than her. We're both really shy but have a lot in common. I feel like she's the perfect girl that I never thought I'd meet. I will definitely try to tell her how I feel. I hope it works out..

[sid3]

Thank you for your reply, Sid.

 

There isn't a policy like this at my work that I know of, but I guess you never know

 

We're pretty close in age..I haven't asked her how old she is, but I think I might be 1-2 years older than her. We're both really shy but have a lot in common. I feel like she's the perfect girl that I never thought I'd meet. I will definitely try to tell her how I feel. I hope it works out..

 

Your welcome. Have a good time. Don't tell her, just show her. Big difference.

[Loss]

I feel very ashamed for asking, but could you please elaborate?

[Feelin Frisky]

I'd usually say that being a supervisor over someone is especially problematic. But this is college stuff and you're college age or close. Learn from the school of hard knocks and see what happens. Call it an "experiment".

[sid3]

I feel very ashamed for asking, but could you please elaborate?

 

Just enjoy her company, the rest should come naturally. Don't you think it would be better to show her a great time and how fun you are to be with rather than tell her how much you like her. If you have no idea how to flirt at least a little, nothing I can say will help you, except Google is your friend. Oh and do something at the end of the date to make it clear you like her. Be brave!....

[Loss]

I know that I'm thinking about this too much but one thing that I'm not sure about is that I asked her to hang out with me, not go out...Is it automatically understood that it's a date if it's a Broadway show? I was also thinking about reserving a late night after-show dinner/dessert...I think you can tell that I don't know what I'm doing

[Loss]

So we went out on Friday and I thought it went well...until the end I walked her home and when we were on her door steps I asked her if I could kiss her. She said yes but gave me her cheek to kiss. I thought this was it and that I blew it somehow. I was so sad..I really thought she liked me. I'm not the most outgoing person in the world but I thought we had fun.

 

I didn't contact her the following day but that evening (last night) she private messaged me on Facebook and said that she had a good time.

 

What does this mean? Is it normal that she gave her cheek to kiss or is a hidden message of some kind I just don't know. Please help!

[sid3]

No there isn't any hidden meaning IMO. Would you have preferred her extending her hand for a handshake instead? I wouldn't be too disappointed, sounds like the date went well. To me, depending on the the type of date I'm with, a kiss on the cheek is better. Not to mention it builds suspense for the next date. Although I can't remember ever asking a girl if I could kiss her, different strokes kinda thing I guess.

[Loss]

Well, we're both really shy and it just felt right asking than just going for it. Maybe I was trying too hard to be nice

 

I thought that if she gave me her cheek meant she wasn't attracted to me and just wanted to stay friends, but when she sent me a message the following evening asking me how I was doing and that she had a good evening gave me hope that maybe not all is lost yet.

[sid3]

Oh. Well its a good thing you're interested in at least a few different women in case this one does become hopeless, eh? ....Shy? I don't know, sounds like you had some courage at least. Good for you. I hope you ask her out again in the next few days.

[Loss]

Thank you, sid.

 

Nope, she's the only one She's really great and we have a lot in common. I hope I don't screw it up. I'm planning on asking her to go out again this week, but don't know where to take her yet.

[sid3]

Thank you, sid.

 

Nope, she's the only one She's really great and we have a lot in common. I hope I don't screw it up. I'm planning on asking her to go out again this week, but don't know where to take her yet.

 

Sounds like a good plan. I would find something fun that's going on in the city next weekend. Don't worry about screwing it up, think about succeeding:) You plan to ask mid week-ish, in person hopefully. I bet someone's going to be nervous Haha...nothing ventured nothing gained.

[Loss]

Thank you, sid. You're a great motivation for me

 

The only thing that really bothers me is that I'm (one of actually) her supervisor and that I don't know if it's appropriate to do what we're doing if we are going to continue. She will be working tomorrow and I wanted to talk to her about it after work and I honestly don't know how to break it down to her. She's really nice and really shy and I don't know what she'll say. She's also not stupid and I think this thought must've crossed her mind as well.