dachshund Posted June 11, 2004 Share Posted June 11, 2004 I have a girlfriend of 2 years..we have been close for all these sometimes..recently about 2 months ago..we broke up...she said that she feel stress with me because we quarrel and i took her for granted..she has been nice to me all along..but after she work she changed ..she become close to her friends..she said she feels happy with them..and dun wan relationship...right after break up..i ask her give me another chance...she said she give me enough chances ... i beg her..i tell her how much i love her..what i did..then she said we unfated? when i ask her..she said maybe yes..she said she dont wan any relationship now..need a rest...i dunno what i can do now..i miss her very badly...when i ask her out she said she not ready to go out with me..she feels weird and is closer with her friends...she say i always nag about patching up..she is scared of hearing that...i give her a ring a letter and one SORRY bear...i did a puzzle for her..but haven give her yet....i miss her everyday...time passes very slowly...i miss her kisses..when we are together...when we hug n cuddle along in bed...we have nice moments together... Link to post Share on other sites
scaredgirl21 Posted June 13, 2004 Share Posted June 13, 2004 I had the same problem in 1999. Me and my bf had broken up. I called , wrote letters telling him how much I loved and missed him. But he always insisted that we could only be friends. he said that we made better friends. I tried for 2 years to get him back, but he always said the same thing. So finally I gave up. I wrote him one last letter telling him that I was never going to bother him again and I was going to move on with my life. But the truth is I never did. We were the best things that ever happened to each other and he knew that. We stayed in touch but I always pretended that I was busy and couldn't talk long. After 4 years of trying to hold myself together he called me. He started telling me that I was the only gf that he'd had that treated him like I did. I never cheated, lied, or anything. Then out of the blue he asked if we could start over and if he could have another cahnce. Of course I said yes. I guess what i'm trying to say is that mabye you should try to move on. At least try to make friends with other people. Mabye she will realize how much you love her. you know the old saying "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it was meant to be. If it doesn't, then it was never yours to begin with." That saying is so true!!! I'm a living witness. Just give it some time. it's gonna hurt but eventually it will all work out for you in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
asianpartyboy Posted June 14, 2004 Share Posted June 14, 2004 wow! congrats, scaredgirl21! How did you do it though? A lot of people here need specific advice:). I know no two cases are the same, but I would like to get a feeling on how you tried to move on with your life. And how much contact you maintained with your ex during that period? I am on my day 5 of NC right now after telling her I wish not to receive any further contact. I miss her soooo much. I know she is hurting too. I am confident about that. But making her feel better is not what I want right now(maybe after a few months or a few years), I want to make her miss me. Maybe she never will, but I am trying to move on at the same time. So hopefully things will turn out ok either ways. Thanks for sharing your story. -asianpartyboy Link to post Share on other sites
scaredgirl21 Posted June 14, 2004 Share Posted June 14, 2004 Thanks!!! My way of trying to move on... Well I made friends with other guys, I went out with my girls a lot and I just tried to stay focused. My guy friends helped me the most, but I never dated any of them. JUST FRIENDS!! When my ex found out that I was talking to other people I believe he got kinda jealous. I wasn't trying to make him feel that way but it happened. Then eventually he asked if we could start over. We kept in contact probably once or twice a week. We were good friends. That is one thing that I accepted. I figured since we were friends at least we get to talk evey once in a while. But I never let him think that I was still in love with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dachshund Posted June 15, 2004 Author Share Posted June 15, 2004 she said she has no trust in my love ..i dunno how to built it back..i never cheated on her..i am just bad tempered sometimes...she gets scolded..but in my heart i really love her alot...i longed that she is my wife...how can we built the trust back...i never love anyone but her Link to post Share on other sites
asianpartyboy Posted June 20, 2004 Share Posted June 20, 2004 well first of all, people/especially girls say a lot of things when they want a break-up. so don't get too caught up on the details, find out why is hard. the important thing is keep a cool head. btw, thanks scaredgirl. by the same token, I think I will make some more girl friends from now on:). -a Link to post Share on other sites
dreamguy Posted June 20, 2004 Share Posted June 20, 2004 I agree with asianpartyboy "people/especially girls say a lot of things when they want a break-up. so don't get too caught up on the details". dachshund if you meant what you said about never having cheated on her then you should try to find out the real reason behind her decision. Don't ask her because she won't give you the truth. You try and think things over by yourself. Try to remember. When did your relationship start going wrong and fading away ? Then try to remember how you were acting at that time. I think the reason is more likely to be "you took her for granted" as you said in a previous post. Women just love attention ! And while you cannot and should not give anyone all your attention under normal circumstances, you still have to find ways to give your woman more attention than she gives you. It's the only way to make her know you're not taking her for granted. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dachshund Posted June 24, 2004 Author Share Posted June 24, 2004 right now..she is contented with her life..everything is going well..she is happy with her friends..she is close with one guy that she treated him as a brother..she said he is like a real life brother..she wants love..i can tell from it...i did something wrong ...i scolded her that kor because at first i thought he is the one spoiling our relationship..and i read her blog even though she doesnt wanna me to..i scolded her another friend because that night when i was talking to her about patch up..which i always do..that guy ask her to play gunbound..and i went in to scold that guy..lots of nonsense things..even wanna ask him for a fight..she said i am infantile..but my heart sink when i see her with other guys?when i was her if u no longer have feelings for me...i rather u tell me directly..i will give u up..if no hope ..then recently..i told her u no feelings u just tell me..i dunno wanna give up or what...she said..i am telling u to **** off if u dun have the balls the make the decision...its up to you...i am at a loss.. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamguy Posted June 24, 2004 Share Posted June 24, 2004 "but my heart sink when i see her with other guys" dachshund look at the result man ! The more you follow her and the more you show jealousy the more you drive her away ! Look I know it doesn't make sense but this is how most human relationships work. I know what you're feeling inside. Trust me because I've been through such an intense pain once that I swore I'd never fall in love again ! I used to see her with her old boy friend every day at the beach and they used to kiss right in front of my eyes !! But I never had any apparent reaction to that although it was tearing me to pieces inside. " when i was talking to her about patch up..which i always do.." Although it hurts like hell inside you have to stop following her. How long have you been running after her ? Has it made any difference ? Did you win her back ? Did you even win her friendship or her sympathy ? No. Instead she told you "i am telling u to **** off if u dun have the balls the make the decision...its up to you". You're holding on too tight dachshund, so tight that you're not allowing her (and yourself) to breathe. I know I'm the bearer of a rather bad news but I gotta give it to you straight even if you'll hate me for it. That's what friends do, they always tell you what they think is best for you even if you'll hate them for it. Right now, in your current situation, the best thing to do is to completely leave her alone. She asked you to do that in a very rude way (because you couldn't stop doing it). You did all you could (and even more than you should have). Let your mind be at ease even if your heart is not. You don't even have to admit that you're letting go... just drift along as time passes by and try to fill your time with activities of any kind. You will survive so be tough and as days go by you'll be tougher ! Link to post Share on other sites
hurtingandconfused Posted June 24, 2004 Share Posted June 24, 2004 You are pushing her away. You are begging, crying, pleading and it's feeding her ego. You have to let your emotions cool off. In order to regain your dignity you have to cut all contact from her. Let her be. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamguy Posted June 24, 2004 Share Posted June 24, 2004 This is taken from one of David De Angelo's emails. He wrote many books about dating among which "Double Your Dating". I hope you've heard about him. Anyway here's the paragraph. I hope it'll convince you. 1) People in general, MALE OR FEMALE intuitively know when they are being "pursued". As soon as we know that we have something that someone else wants, the price starts to go up. Economics 101. 2) When the price starts going up (translation: she realizes that you really like her and she starts playing hard to get, making you "prove" yourself, etc.) you start to LOSE CONTROL RAPIDLY. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dachshund Posted June 24, 2004 Author Share Posted June 24, 2004 she said she can live without me...which makes me feel sad when i hear it..right now i know she is lonely..she needs love she wants love..i dunno how make us get back again..anybody got any recommandations.. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamguy Posted June 24, 2004 Share Posted June 24, 2004 Dude I know you are so hurt and I don't want to make it worse. But you're not reading what people are posting as a reply to you !!! If you want to do what's on your mind anyway then keep on contacting her. Eventually she'll block you for good or you two will be back together (but I seriously doubt it will happen if you don't leave her alone for a while). It's up to you. Link to post Share on other sites
iceman Posted June 24, 2004 Share Posted June 24, 2004 dachshund... dachshund... Do you really love her or love yourself ?.. Think about if deeply... You're saying couple times that you're hurt.. what are you hurt of ? hurt because you are lonely, not being loved, being dumped, being worthless or.... The one you love is quite happy now, so you should be glad. why have to keep bugging her. Show our man's pride.. When I broke up with my ex, only within 2 weeks she got her new bf. I felt glad because someone I care finally have other to take care for her and I won't have to worry for her anymore.. ( I won't cheat that I also feel grief but the joy overcome the grief ) watch out for our own ego.. Control it and you will be totally free of the pain.. Good luck friend !! Link to post Share on other sites
Author dachshund Posted June 28, 2004 Author Share Posted June 28, 2004 now me and her are on talking terms..i can joke with her..talk cock with her..about her school..i smsed her to ask her hows sch today..she replied me..and after that i saw her at the canteen she was sitting behind me..my back facing her..i sms her..that i saw her..but she did not replied me..then i told her today..would u give me another chance..i promise not to be so bad tempered..she replied me ... i wonder how can i win her heart back..i see her i feel very sad because i let someone so nice go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dachshund Posted June 29, 2004 Author Share Posted June 29, 2004 yesterday i use someone nick talk to her..then ask her about relationship..the problem now is she dun like anyone..she is single now..and i ask her if your bf still love you alot..will u patch up? she said no..because no feelings...i am in deep ****.. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamguy Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 and i ask her if your bf still love you alot..will u patch up? I think when you asked this question she knew about your real identity and gave you an answer to think about. No guy normally asks a question like that to a girl he just met online. Why would a stranger care if she would patch up with her ex ? What a stranger would care about would be if she would go out with him or not. You made it plain obvious. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dachshund Posted June 29, 2004 Author Share Posted June 29, 2004 oh then wat u think i should do now..i still love her alot..how..give me advice dude.. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamguy Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 I already did man. Go to page 1 of this thread and read all the replies. Take it easy on yourself (as much as you can) because you're not going to achieve anything by freaking out. Link to post Share on other sites
rebelchic901 Posted July 1, 2004 Share Posted July 1, 2004 i broke up with my b/f bout 2 months ago an i want him back its like i was hit with this... you dont know wut u got till its gone things. hes a sweet christen boy and i gave him his first an only kiss. we still talk but i wanna be the one to give him his last kiss too. i love this boy hes the only one i cried over can some one plz help by gien me advice on how to get him back plz. Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted July 1, 2004 Share Posted July 1, 2004 Try and tell him how you feel and that you were wrong about wanting to break up, maybe he hasn't moved on and will consider giving it another chance. dachshund Your pushing this girl way too much, it doesn't take a lot for a girl to feel like she is in control, and the more you do the less it will help. I think you should read the posts from the first page and listen to them, you need to back way off. Link to post Share on other sites
danlegion Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 dachshund i know how u feel now.. let me tell u abit my story.. its very similar to yours. Me and my Gf(ex) was very close to each other... for a full year.. recently we keep on arguing.. and in the mist of it.. suddenly she told me.. "those word". And i was speechless... ermm those word = "end it now". I know i should say no but i didnt i dont know why. I really regret. Yea she did told me what your ex-gf told u dachshund... she is not ready for another relationship. U know we use to sms each other like 15 piece per day.. it has been 2 weeks after this incident.. each time i read her sms i'll cried to myself. To think of her makes me cry. I shouldn't be telling u this.. but i dont care.. guys have feelings too... nobody say guys cannot cry... I told her i give her time.. in between the 2 weeks we talk and i dont know what happen she thought i accuse her and she got mad... and when i asked her "Is there still hope" she told me no. Yea it hurts to love your loved one.. but dude u have to give her time... I'm giving my time to me loved one. I'm very happy for scaredgirl21... that will most probably what i'll do.. but i dont have the heart to hurt my loved one anymore... Another word.. dacshund u and me we are confused... i dont know what to do. Upset.. Link to post Share on other sites
jw32802 Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 Ok well i am dating this guy and in a way i want my ex to see that because i think he thinks id be around forever... so whats better; (i have had no contact w/ him in 2 weeks and changed mynumber) Is it better to keep complete distance from him and not even subtly let him know about the guy, and is it worse for him to WONDER or is it better for him to find out somehow im with someone new, although that would be difficult because that would mean showing up where i know he'd show up or tellng his friend Id prefer NO CONTACT AT ALL and making him wonder but something inside me wants him to know im dating again and that the guy is GORGEOUS. lol. (my ex was gorgeous and probably thinks i cant get another gorgeous guy hahahahaha) Link to post Share on other sites
danlegion Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 jw32802 why are u so cruel? Or Are u Trying to BE? do u know how much it hurts to see his own gf dates another guy? Link to post Share on other sites
nikkicam71 Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 danlegion, he dumped her...how is it being "cruel" for him to realize that the awesome person he turned his back on is MOVING ON?? Maybe a bite of reality will make him realize what he's lost! Link to post Share on other sites
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