Black Jack Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 This person is as others say a complete trainwreck. Have been exactly where you are in a similar situation (a little later in life). Have been through all the "holding tight" reconciliations, confessions, pseudo confessions and partial confessions. Have been through all the "plans for the future," "moving away or in together" window dressing. Mine would ask me to marry her nearly DAILY... all the while she was sleeping with another dude. The similarities I see between my gorgeous nutjob and yours are striking, not going to list them all out, but trust me there are many. Personality disordered people self-medicate with drugs and alcohol, take those away and the REAL fireworks start. Cheating is the least of it. Two years in, she is still doing a good job of hiding her true nature, or maybe not, you are just blinded by beauty. C'mon man, she has cheated on two prior and you as well. You realize in all likelihood this is the tip of the iceberg, and that you are being played for the "future MD sucker" you are showing signs of willingness to become. It isn't worth it. I was in your shoes several years ago, and the single thing that makes me happiest today is that I got rid of that woman. It took a year after to heal and realize the extent she had been sucking the life and energy out of me. There's a 10% chance you two can end up happy together, and a 90% chance this woman is going to bring untold future misery and heartache into your life, god forbid you have had children with her at that point. Please consider moving on. Good luck whatever you decide, you will need lots of it. If they end up marrying, those kids probably won't even be his. And I don't mean that as an insult. OP she's a serial cheater, and they WILL NOT STOP. Link to post Share on other sites
Author anon1111111 Posted March 23, 2012 Author Share Posted March 23, 2012 (edited) After tonight I'm starting to accept much of the advice that has been given. You can't save someone who doesn't realize that there's a problem. You can't talk to someone who twists your words and tries to make you feel like the bad guy. Can you believe she's attacking ME? WTF? I've got the patience of Mother Theresa, but I will not be made to feel like I'm a winy b*tch when I've done NOTHING wrong and she's done the WRONGEST thing one can do in a relationship. Can you believe she asked me "how long is it going to take you to get over this?" Can you believe that after I said "even if I were having second thoughts about our relationship, I would NEVER go sleep with some girl" she responded "why don't you go F*CK someone then?" So I hang up, she calls me over and over till I pick up to see if the other side of the dual personality will come out... and there it is, she's crying, saying how sorry she is, how deeply she loves me, just words that fall on deaf ears. Sorry, but my memory spans longer than 2 minutes, I still remember talking to the monstrous B*TCH just 2 minutes ago!! You know what I call that? Borderline personality disorder. She's definitely got it. I've treated this girl like a princess. I've NEVER yelled at her or insulted her. I've payed for most of our meals, I've payed for an expensive vacation, I've written her poetry, made cards, spent hours picking out songs for mix CD's... you don't even want to know much cash I've spent on flowers for this girl. I've been as pure in thought as guy can be going to a university where all the girls prance around in booty shorts. I've been the shoulder she can cry on, ALWAYS there, ALWAYS asking about her day, ALWAYS being that rock, and honestly I can't say she's fully returned the effort. She's kind-of there, she sometimes asks me how my day is going. And I've NEVER, I repeat, NEVER even come close to cheating on her, and believe me, I've had opportunities. I just don't put myself into those situations. I'm strong enough to say NO. And it's not like I haven't second guessed our relationship. There have been plenty of times when I was sick, or sad, or just needing some attention, and she doesn't get it no matter how many hints I throw in. Oh yeah, she's worried I'm going to become too controlling. Her friend told her to "beware of that." Her friend lacks even the tiniest shred of empathy, as does my oh so perfect girlfriend. Thank you guys, for setting me straight, I will not allow my life to be ruined by a girl who says one thing and does another. PEACE. Edited March 23, 2012 by doktarbuddha Link to post Share on other sites
Author anon1111111 Posted March 23, 2012 Author Share Posted March 23, 2012 DSM IV-TR Criteria: A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image and affects, as well as marked impulsivity, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following: 1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-injuring behavior covered in Criterion 5. 2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation. 3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self. 4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., promiscuous sex, excessive spending, eating disorders, binge eating, substance abuse, reckless driving). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-injuring behavior covered in Criterion 5 5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, threats or self-injuring behavior such as cutting, interfering with the healing of scars (excoriation) or picking at oneself. 6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days). 7. Chronic feelings of emptiness 8. Inappropriate anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights). 9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation, delusions or severe dissociative symptoms. That's 7/9 in my opinion (and I know her well). There's this too: Numerous studies have shown a strong correlation between child abuse, especially child sexual abuse, and development of BPD. Many individuals with BPD report to have had a history of abuse and neglect as young children. There's this intensely cold side of her that comes out when all is not well. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does it really scares me. I'm no psychologist, but I think there's a very good chance she's got BPD. Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Well, first of all I'm glad the picture of her perfection busted, because no1 ever was or will be perfect. The idea in a RS is to accept the other with his/her imperfections. 2nd, you are right again, you can't save someone if he can't even tell there's a problem. Moreover, you can't save anyone who doesn't wanna be saved. Period. 3rd, she has major, major issues man, and I'm sure there's more that you haven't told us. If she don't wanna get some real help to solve her issues, than there's nothing more for you to do other than deciding between the following: 1. I stay with her, knowing she won't change, knowing that she might have another emotional trip and get high with a guy and cheat on me again and despite the fact that she's using drugs and drinks alcohol (and you can't assume she'll stop one day). 2. I leave, because she won't change and that is not someone I wanna be with, even though she's hot. P.S. I am curious, that "friend" who told her to beware of you becoming control, is it a he or a she? (gut feeling tells me it's a he). And as for your diagnostic post, don't jump the gun here, as you said, you aren't a psychologist. Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Since it seems her remorseful attitude has lasted all of about 2 days, this is a lost cause. You can only help someone who wants to be helped. Initially it sounded like that might have been a possibility, but seeing your later posts it quite clearly is not, she was merely paying lip service to it to try to keep you sweet. As everyone has said, you have to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author anon1111111 Posted March 23, 2012 Author Share Posted March 23, 2012 P.S. I am curious, that "friend" who told her to beware of you becoming control, is it a he or a she? (gut feeling tells me it's a he). And as for your diagnostic post, don't jump the gun here, as you said, you aren't a psychologist. The "friend" is actually her best friend (girl) who very much would like for her to stay at her current university and not transfer to mine, so she's biased to make me look bad to some degree. Link to post Share on other sites
Quiet Storm Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 She does sound like she's a Borderline. You do not want to be in a relationship or build a life with a Borderline. Please do not have any children with her. My sister is Borderline. For many years we have dealt with her emotional blackmail, suicide attempts, irrational thoughts and accusations, substance abuse and constant drama. She has lost her husband and custody of her child because of her issues. She is in her mid 30s and has been in treatment since late teens. Even a long inpatient stay at Sheppard Pratt did not help. DBT therapy did not help. Her doctors told my parents to prepare emotionally for her suicide, and that her prognosis is not good. She has seriously messed up her precious son, so please if you decide to stay with her, never have kids with her. My sister was sexually abused as a child, too. It is easy to have sympathy for bad behavior when there is a valid reason for it. However, you can have sympathy from afar. Don't focus on why she is the way she is- just accept that she is this way and will likely never change. Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Do update about what you're gonna do, if at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Chubbi Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 Wasn't it embarrassing to have your g/f talk like that on FB? Are you in her "In a relationship w/" status? Can you believe what people must think about you through Facebook to have your gf say such things? Or do people not know about you? She was trying to get some attention; it must have backfired. I think part of the reason she wants to move to you is because she didn't get the attention she wanted. You give her the attention she wants: being treated like a princess. Link to post Share on other sites
Author anon1111111 Posted March 26, 2012 Author Share Posted March 26, 2012 (edited) I found out that my insurance covers 8 therapy sessions per year so I saw a therapist on Friday to figure out how I should proceed in light of my girlfriend's recent behavior. She seemed to think that I have the potential to make a difference in this girl's life if I stay and she agreed that there was a good chance her life may turn to sh*t if I leave (she made another suicide threat while we were on the phone the other night, shortly before my last post). The therapist told me many things others have said in the forum: ~If we pick up from where we left off and nothing changes she WILL CHEAT AGAIN, she made sure I knew this. ~If I continue with the relationship the next few years will not be easy. According to the therapist, it takes the average couple 1-2 years to start feeling "good" about the relationship again, and another 2 years before trust is somewhat restored (although this is highly variable) and that's only if both partners work hard to fix problems. ~If I continue with the relationship, I need to figure out what my needs/boundaries/bottom-lines are and clearly communicate these to her. If she doesn't respect these then I must end the relationship. This has already been said by many on here, I just needed to hear it from a professional who charges $120/hour ($12 with insurance) for it to get through my thick head. I'm giving this girl another chance as this has been our first major problem in 2 years and I have a glimmer of hope that she's not completely f*cked up in the head (but only time will tell). Her view of things is still very simplistic, I asked her again why she cheated and she repeated the same tired line "because I was having fear of commitment thoughts." I told her that this is not a valid reason as it implies that anyone having similar thoughts can go out and cheat on their significant other. She still believes that "our love can overcome anything" and that her will is strong enough to resist all future temptation. I've been trying to tell her that the problem is not the strength of her love or will-power, rather that she has a problem controlling her impulses, as evidenced by her dependence on marijuana and recent infidelity. I think I may be starting to get through to her on this. Right now I'm working on figuring out what I need from this relationship and defining my boundaries/bottom-lines (something I should have clearly established a long time ago). I will go over these with my therapist this Friday and communicate these to my girl when I visit her this weekend. If she agrees to respect my needs then we can start on the long road to rebuilding our relationship. When the next opportunity arises, we will start couples therapy and she will start seeing a therapist on her own. There are a lot of "if's" going forward, but I'm strong enough now to cut her out of my life if she doesn't meet my needs and respect my boundaries. For me this relationship is now in a trial period, no kids, marriage, or any kind of commitment elevation for a VERY long time, assuming she wants this badly enough to do everything needs to be done. She says she'll do anything to make this last, we'll see how it goes. Edited March 26, 2012 by doktarbuddha Link to post Share on other sites
Author anon1111111 Posted March 26, 2012 Author Share Posted March 26, 2012 My sister is Borderline... Her doctors told my parents to prepare emotionally for her suicide, and that her prognosis is not good. She has seriously messed up her precious son, so please if you decide to stay with her, never have kids with her. I'm very sorry to hear this Quiet Storm, it's very sad that some people in this world cannot be saved no matter how great the effort. I don't know yet if my girlfriend has BPD, my therapist suggested only that she was an "addict" and made no comment about BPD. We'll know soon enough once she starts therapy again. Wasn't it embarrassing to have your g/f talk like that on FB? Are you in her "In a relationship w/" status? Can you believe what people must think about you through Facebook to have your gf say such things? Or do people not know about you? It was humiliating. Her status has been "in a relationship" for the better part of 2 years as far as I know, she made it "official" a few weeks after we met, plus there are many photos of us being affectionate on her page that have been up for quite some time. Her disrespectful cry for attention via Facebook is one of many grievances I will bring up in couples therapy. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Dude, I'm tell ya. You're not getting the full story here. She's only fessing up to one time. Dude, she's been messing around and I'm sure her "best friend" instigates a lot of it. Im just saying. Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Well, I suppose the good part is that you know that something needs to change. I think you're to young to go to couples therapy and that your best therapy is to simply find someone less messed up to begin with. But this is your decision, and I hope you will force your gf to go through professional therapy, she needs it. Also, she needs to tell the drugs and alcohol good bye. Link to post Share on other sites
Author anon1111111 Posted March 26, 2012 Author Share Posted March 26, 2012 Dude, I'm tell ya. You're not getting the full story here. She's only fessing up to one time. Dude, she's been messing around... I have a friend (girl) who goes to the same school who is hype to campus gossip (it's a very small school, public high school sized), and she's on an acquaintance level with my gf. I asked her if she heard anything through the grapevine or suspected anything and she said no, granted she didn't know about this particular incident either, but no one did, apparently the dude dropped out of school shortly after and moved away and my gf didn't tell a soul, not even her best friend who was very surprised upon hearing the news and angry she didn't hear about it first (she gave my gf the silent treatment for a week). Plus I look at her texts from time to time (not proud of it) and I haven't seen anything that aroused my suspicion. It's possible she cheated other times but I just don't have any information that suggests this. ...and I'm sure her "best friend" instigates a lot of it. I know her best friend likes me, she's told me on several occasions that she's glad my gf found me and that I'm a good fit for her. She likes that I'm a good influence in her life. I really don't think she instigates unfaithful behavior, that would be totally out of character, but I can see her trying to manipulate my gf into thinking that I might turn into a controlling jerk so that she stays at her current university. She may actually think that I'm making my gf move so that I can keep a closer eye on her, which is totally false, I had no part in coming up with the idea and was even against it in the beginning. Well, I suppose the good part is that you know that something needs to change. I think you're to young to go to couples therapy and that your best therapy is to simply find someone less messed up to begin with. I agree, but this is the last effort on my part and I'm mentally/emotionally prepared to end the relationship if I believe she's just not getting it. The couples therapy is mainly to help with our communication issues. I feel like I can't get past the walls she puts up and a third party may be helpful with this. But this is your decision, and I hope you will force your gf to go through professional therapy, she needs it. Also, she needs to tell the drugs and alcohol good bye. These are all now bottom-lines for me from now on. If she wont go to therapy and get her act together on the weed dependence and infrequent but ridiculous drinking episodes then there's no moving forward. She's on day 6 of no weed already (I have people who verify this). She isn't really dependent on alcohol in my opinion, I drink more often than she does, but when she does drink she doesn't always know when to stop, especially when she's upset. I've had to hold her hair back as she pukes one too many times. I'm guilty of binge drinking too, spent more nights than I'd like to admit praying to the porcelain goddess in my early college days. But definitely NO more drinking when I'm not there, and NO more inebriation when we drink together. I believe the boundaries I'm about to set are common-sense and not at all controlling. If she wants this to work badly enough she'll accept and follow them, if not then she can move on to the next guy who in all likelihood will not treat her half as well as I do (she has a history of picking sh*tty bf's). Link to post Share on other sites
Author anon1111111 Posted March 26, 2012 Author Share Posted March 26, 2012 Dude, I'm tell ya. You're not getting the full story here. She's only fessing up to one time. Dude, she's been messing around... This thought has been weighing on my mind since you and others have brought it up. Aside from a polygraph (don't have access to 1), how could I figure this out? Do 19-21 year old girls tell each other sh*t like this? There's one girl friend of hers who she was very close to her freshman year of college, but then she moved to my university for her second year. I think she might give me some info if I asked her and promised to make it untraceable. I've pried into every electronic record of hers that I have access to (which is just about all of them, I'm resourceful) and found nothing that suggests there was anything else going on. I wish I could get a full history of text messages over the past year but that's not going to happen. She's definitely not going to admit to stuff I have no evidence whatsoever to support, but it's hard to start working things out till I know that I have the full story. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 At anytime she visited you, did she ever charge her phone up using your computer? Link to post Share on other sites
Quiet Storm Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 (edited) I found out that my insurance covers 8 therapy sessions per year so I saw a therapist on Friday to figure out how I should proceed in light of my girlfriend's recent behavior. She seemed to think that I have the potential to make a difference in this girl's life if I stay and she agreed that there was a good chance her life may turn to sh*t if I leave (she made another suicide threat while we were on the phone the other night, shortly before my last post). BPD or not, there is something wrong with this girl. If she was serious about trying to kill herself- she is mentally ill. If she uses suicide threats to manipulate or to get attention- she is mentally ill. Your therapist may not tell you her true opinion about your girlfriend at first. She'll listen to you talk about it and use guiding questions, with the intent of you eventually figuring out on your own that this girl isn't healthy for you. I bet by session 8, if you are completely honest about your girlfriend, you will be looking at things differently. Your therapist can't offer too many hard truths during the first sessions- she doesn't want to scare you away. I think your girlfriend probably has every intention of keeping her promises to you. However, it is not her intentions that matter. She will cloud your mind with her reasons and rationalizations for doing what she does. Remember- her actions are what matter- not her justifications for those actions. Do you think she will be able to follow through? IMO, given her history, it is doubtful. At the moment of choice, will she be able to put you ahead of her feelings and emotions that cause her to act out? I think that she may not even be capable of that. I think in times of stress or conflict, she will revert to her old ways. Not because she had no intention of keeping her promises, but because her issues are too deep to handle on her own. Her feelings and emotions will overwhelm her ability to consider anyone but herself. You will see all kinds of excuses for why people cheat. People get lonely, they get bored, they don't get enough attention, their partner's an alcoholic, a mid life crisis, a drunk mistake, etc. The reasons don't matter. What matters is how that person chose to handle things. There are many people that are bored, lonely, etc that DON'T CHEAT. Choosing to cheat, instead of confronting the underlying issue, is telling of a person's character. These people will lie to avoid discomfort. They will sneak to do things that you don't approve of. You said- no more weed- do you honestly think she'll quit or will she be looking for ways to keep doing it without you knowing? The cheating is not an abberation, it is likely a bigger lifelong pattern of dishonest behavior. In her mind, cheating was a valid option. At the moment she chose to cheat, her own agenda trumped any feelings of loyalty and concern for you. Whether or not you could make a difference in her life is redundant. It is not your responsbility to do that. She is not a foster child or a wounded animal. As an adult, it is her responsbility to manage her own life. Ask your therapist about "knight in shining armor syndrome" or google it. It is a form of co-dependency. You can't save her, dude. Even if you could, it's not healthy for you to take on this monumental task. Her life may turn to crap if you leave, but that's not your problem. Again, it's her responsibility to manage her own life. My parents are held hostage by my sister's suicide threats. They don't go on vacation and basically are bullied into doing whatever she wants because they are afraid she will kill herself, take off on a drug binge, cause lots of drama. They put up with it because they feel responsible (they blame themselves for not protecting her from child sexual abuse by a family member that they did not know was a pedophile). You do not have that burden to carry. You are young. You are involving yourself with a person that has a lot of very big issues. BPD or not, suicide threats and childhood sexual abuse indicate serious emotional issues. I hope you continue with your therapy and wish you the best. Edited March 26, 2012 by Quiet Storm Link to post Share on other sites
Author anon1111111 Posted March 27, 2012 Author Share Posted March 27, 2012 At anytime she visited you, did she ever charge her phone up using your computer? Yes, this has happened before, why do you ask? Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 Yes, this has happened before, why do you ask? Because if she has a SMART phone or an Iphone and she charged it up using your computer, there's a chance that, that phone sync'd up with your computer. Therefore, there's a hidden file somewhere on your computer that has that phones information. You'll be able to view texts that phone had sent and recieved during the times she charged it (including deleted ones). Look for downloadable software on the net that will allow you to pull this information up. Software like iphone file extractor. You might find some answers there. And you shouldn't feel guilty about it. Hell, it's YOUR computer. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 COUPLES THERAPY? Dude, unless you are *married* or have children together, needing couples therapy means you should break up. Seriously. You are too young for this crap, you are NOT going to end up with this girl for the rest of your life, so why delay the inevitable? Just end it. Save yourself the heartbreak you are racing blindly towards. Link to post Share on other sites
Del137 Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 Dude, u better take her for councilin. Or to a gods prayer meetin. So dat she can completly b changed in her bad habbits. U to go alng vit her. Trust me, it vill make a very big change in both your lifes. God is powerfull dan anytin in dis world and nothin is impossible 4 him. Trust in him and u vil 4get her past and she vil 4get her childhood and dat vil result in a healty relationship to both of u. Bind all ur problems vit god n do ur best. God vil do the rest. Hav a happy life vit each other. God bless. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 (edited) I didn't read every post but I read plenty... You're young and this is your first 'relationship.' You like having a relationship, and dread the thought of loss and being alone again. You don't quite have the level of confidence and experience to truly believe that you deserve to be loved by a stable, happy, giving, well-adjusted woman. Her neediness give you a sense of security. She is an emotional train wreck as a result of having grown up without a stable family and secure loving parents. There is suspicion of BPD, and based on her behavior patterns, justifiably so. You can't fix her––you have to accept that as an indisputable fact. The best you can do is to dedicate your life to being her benefactor, and tolerate the way she treats you and not having your needs met. She is not capable of loving you because she is in a constant struggle to maintain some semblance of equilibrium. You are useful in this struggle and she perceives this as love but you're actually more an object that helps her cope. A more mature man with relationship experience and a firm belief that he deserves, and can create, a wonderful life for himself would probably not have become entangled. Otherwise, he would extract himself, realizing that this is path is going in the opposite direction from the life he wants and deserves. Who you marry (or attach to long-term) will have more influence on the course of your life than anything else––this decision is key to who you will become in your life. This is not a decision to make out of compassion or charity––it's your future we're talking about here. Hers is pretty well defined at this point, and regardless, she is not your responsibility. You are your responsibility. That doesn't mean you can't be compassionate and charitable in the way you handle things, but make your decision based on a firm belief that you deserve to be loved fully, in the way only a healthy loving person can do. You are at a crossroads and this could be, probably is, the most important decision of your life. The cheating and disingenuousness coming to light at this time could be seen as serendipitous. It gives you a clear signal that it's time to do what's right for you. I wish the best for both of you. Edited March 29, 2012 by salparadise Link to post Share on other sites
Author anon1111111 Posted August 27, 2015 Author Share Posted August 27, 2015 Well as many here warned, she cheated again, in an even more sleazy way this time. We actually had a good 3 years up to this point, I was even starting to think about marriage... but in the span of a week while I was out of town she went from committed monogamist to practicing polyamorist. There was a scum-bag 40-something year old washout photographer who turned her onto the concept, and she was gullible enough to jump right into the lifestyle without giving much thought or asking my opinion. Now she wants to date me and others in parallel in a jealous-free utopian dream-world... Just want to say thank you to all who took the time to warn me about this crazy girl 3 years ago... I should have listened. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 Wow, I am surprised you stuck it out for 3 years after she cheated on you the first time. That said. The best way you can go forward now is to make her insignificant. If you still don't have a FB account, don't get one. Delete her info and block any access she may have to you. I know it's going to be hard, especially having invested so much time on her. But your goal now concerning her should be reaching a point of complete indifference to her. Please do all you can to make her a non existent entity. If you do not live together, then do not worry about getting any of your stuff. Consider it gone. Any of her stuff you may have, destroy it. Do not even worry about sending it back. It's a useless meeting you do not need to have. If you have any financial burden tied to her, cut that cord at once. Do it this very night or you will risk hearing another tired old excuse laden tirades. I'm sorry you had to deal with this, but now you must be cold as ice. Cut her out of your life once and for all. Good Luck. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 Well as many here warned, she cheated again, in an even more sleazy way this time. We actually had a good 3 years up to this point, I was even starting to think about marriage... but in the span of a week while I was out of town she went from committed monogamist to practicing polyamorist. There was a scum-bag 40-something year old washout photographer who turned her onto the concept, and she was gullible enough to jump right into the lifestyle without giving much thought or asking my opinion. Now she wants to date me and others in parallel in a jealous-free utopian dream-world... Just want to say thank you to all who took the time to warn me about this crazy girl 3 years ago... I should have listened. I do not remember your story though I am sure you have realized thank god you did not get her pregnant or married to her. Hit the eject button on her. Link to post Share on other sites
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