wayoverdue Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 My GF of 12 months, who has become less sexual over the past three months (but we still have a great time together, and besides not having sex in three months, we've actually gotten closer in many ways) has suddenly announced she is moving in with a guy she doesn't know well at all, to be his housemate. He's wealthy and single and reportedly in a relationship with someone else, but to me this just seems wierd. The reason is, the house is much closer to her work, and its a giant nice house well set up to share, and the rent is apparently very cheap. Of course its way across the city, and she now lives very close to me, so we have many chances for impromptu get togethers because of that. I don't like this for many reasons, namely, because of her financial situation I think she's vulnerable to possibly hooking up with this guy. He's 10 years older, but she has dated older guys in the past. He's retired and has kids her kids age, and has a lot of free time. She discussed this with me awhile back and I told her I thought it was wierd and didn't like it. Then didn't hear anything about it for two weeks, then suddenly she just sends a note saying she's doing it, while realizing I'm not crazy about it, and says this is a good financial move for her and further "I don't know where this leaves us, but I do not want to do anything to hurt our relationship" and "you are important to me" and "I still want to hang out with you because we have so much fun". I'm thinking 1) WTF, a "note" instead of telling me in person, and 2) you're doing it anyway, after knowing my thoughts, and 3) the distance thing means we'll be seeing much less of each other which does not bode well, and 4) why would a single guy who is in a relationship want a house mate at all (especially a single woman) because money is not an issue with him (I'm being told he travels a lot and just wants someone around to watch and help out with the house). The "hang out comment" sounds odd to me, after 12 months. Really curious to know others thoughts on this situation. I want to talk with her about it, but don't want to come off jealous or petty. How to approach this with her? Link to post Share on other sites
Black Jack Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 My GF of 12 months, who has become less sexual over the past three months (but we still have a great time together, and besides not having sex in three months, we've actually gotten closer in many ways) has suddenly announced she is moving in with a guy she doesn't know well at all, to be his housemate. He's wealthy and single and reportedly in a relationship with someone else, but to me this just seems wierd. The reason is, the house is much closer to her work, and its a giant nice house well set up to share, and the rent is apparently very cheap. Of course its way across the city, and she now lives very close to me, so we have many chances for impromptu get togethers because of that. I don't like this for many reasons, namely, because of her financial situation I think she's vulnerable to possibly hooking up with this guy. He's 10 years older, but she has dated older guys in the past. He's retired and has kids her kids age, and has a lot of free time. She discussed this with me awhile back and I told her I thought it was wierd and didn't like it. Then didn't hear anything about it for two weeks, then suddenly she just sends a note saying she's doing it, while realizing I'm not crazy about it, and says this is a good financial move for her and further "I don't know where this leaves us, but I do not want to do anything to hurt our relationship" and "you are important to me" and "I still want to hang out with you because we have so much fun". I'm thinking 1) WTF, a "note" instead of telling me in person, and 2) you're doing it anyway, after knowing my thoughts, and 3) the distance thing means we'll be seeing much less of each other which does not bode well, and 4) why would a single guy who is in a relationship want a house mate at all (especially a single woman) because money is not an issue with him (I'm being told he travels a lot and just wants someone around to watch and help out with the house). The "hang out comment" sounds odd to me, after 12 months. Really curious to know others thoughts on this situation. I want to talk with her about it, but don't want to come off jealous or petty. How to approach this with her? Your girlfriend has been denying you sex for three months, moving in with with wealthy guy, and he's probably with someone else? You deserve a lot better and if she was really serious about you, she would not be moving into a house with another man. Confronting her on this does not make you jealous at all! Not by a long shot. I wouldn't even bother with her anymore if I were you. But that's your call. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 I don't think having mixed gender housemates is a big deal, but. . . this all sounds a bit weird. I didn't get past the you haven't had sex in THREE MONTHS (which would only be normal/okay if you were in different countries or just had a baby together or something---geez, 3 months!) before knowing there was trouble, whether it's the distance or this guy or whatever. Lots of bad signs in here. Link to post Share on other sites
harmayanigrengel Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Of course its way across the city, and she now lives very close to me, so we have many chances for impromptu get togethers because of that. I don't like this for many reasons, namely, because of her financial situation I think she's vulnerable to possibly hooking up with this guy. He's 10 years older, but she has dated older guys in the past. He's retired and has kids her kids age, and has a lot of free time. She discussed this with me awhile back and I told her I thought it was wierd and didn't like it. Then didn't hear anything about it for two weeks Link to post Share on other sites
Warrior Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Here this video explains EVERYTHING. "Dumpa n' dumpa fast!" Good luck in everything you decide. But no sex in 3 months is telling something. Tell her face to face you don't like this idea, if she does it, well, dump her, FAST. You don't need someone who is not respecting you and your wishes. No you will not be a control freak if you don't want your girlfriend to sleep with some older guy in the same house/room Link to post Share on other sites
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