esteem-jam Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 So I am randomly clicking away from her profile on FB. I see a lot of beautiful females, nice appearance, nice bodies. I would really like to meet them. Really. And if I did, I shouldnt/wouldnt feel guilt, cause it was Her that rejected me. I get random chemistry on the streets, rare, but it does happen, its always nice when it does. What gets to me is... I suspect she might put extra effort to play on my feelings, like acting carelessy around other guys, flirtating, showing how good her life is comparing to mine. That really whats on my mind. Someone said anger is easier to deal with, cause it is directed at something, while sadness... I think you just wanna draw the curtains and hide under your blanket. That thank to god or thank to meds was not happening recently to me. But I picture getting furious and vengeful, like going to her work place and being acting like a d**k. Then when I picture it I see that this my "attitude" is not working and next I wanna put more extra effort to be furious and cruel. When I mean furious I mean like giving her a slap or being really physical. Is this normal? I think it isnt, and this stems from that I tried to stay calm and put a brave face when inside I was boiling. When it should have been me that must have been pissed, I tried to put an attitude that I "understand" why shes rejecting this or that. I wouldnt trust her, and I guess I dont respect her. Like the contact Ive been waiting for so long, if she said "Things ended awkward there, can we meet and talk it out?" I wouldnt even trust that she shows up at the arranged time. Wheres the guarantee? Face slap for you, thats all I have now (for her). Link to post Share on other sites
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