Lexi Posted June 11, 2004 Share Posted June 11, 2004 I am very confused about my marriage. On one hand I want it to work and on the other hand I am sick of the same problems. He never likes to talk about problems and I am the one always trying to go to therapy together. He is very sweet but has a temper and is often depressed or negative. His family wants nothing to do with him. My family have suppoted him through two jobs and now bought us a house to make our finacial situation easier. I also have a painful and chronic disease and even though he is very helpful I feel there is no romance. He watches tv all the time and sleeps on the weekends a lot. Sex is only every 2 weeks and only on the weekend. We have had a lot of dramas and fights in the past, broken up once and I came back. We have less fights now. I love him but yet am tired and feel like I do not know what to do? Advise someone? Link to post Share on other sites
TempSain Posted June 11, 2004 Share Posted June 11, 2004 Alot of us are in similar situations. Is there a reason for him to shut down like that? I guess if he is depressed, not alot you can do with the counselor. I would suggest just trying to life his spirit in anyway possible. No nagging please,gGuys hate that. Also, you mentioned sex once every 2 weeks, are you or is he the instigator? If he is, you might want to do more in this area to spice it up. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted June 11, 2004 Share Posted June 11, 2004 You are going through the same things that my Wife and I went through during our first years of marriage. I know how he feels right now. His family doesn't want anything to do with him so no he feels the weight of the world is on his shoulders. He also may be afraid of what the future holds for you two. And when a man is afraid his natural reaction is going to be defensive. Hence, the reason why he doesn't want to talk about it. You just need to let him know that everything is going to be ok and that it's just you and him and together you two can conquer anything! With your parents helping you guys out, I think that may be where some of his depression is steming from. A man sleeps better and feels better about himself if he doesn't have to rely on hand outs. Whatever you do, like TempSain, said is not to nag him into sharing his feelings or talk about them. Instead, build his confidence up, compliment him when he does something around the house. Compliment his looks, let him know that only he can make you feel the way you do and only he can be the one in your life. His family abandoned him, he needs you now. Stick to this and in time he will gain confidence in himself and become more positive in his life and in what he does. Above all, have patience, he is going to lose his temper and occasionally feel sorry for himself, just don't stop building him up.....he will only be as good as you make him at this point!!! Good Luck!! Moose Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lexi Posted June 11, 2004 Author Share Posted June 11, 2004 Hi Moose Thanks for you radvise, I appreciate it all. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted June 11, 2004 Share Posted June 11, 2004 Lexi, No problem, that's what I like about this forum. By the way, what is your condition? Please keep us informed Moose Link to post Share on other sites
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