Should I apologize for spitting at cheating gf?

[kaylan]

OP I think its fine to get upset and yell at her...but spitting on someone is a bit much....but meh...screw the dumb ho...shes a skank and skanks dont deserve much. Write her out of your life and never look back.

Spitting in someone's face is battery; she could press charges and send you to jail.

Oh gimme a break:laugh:...this would be "he said, she said" if the law got involved...and even then the police and court wouldnt waste their time dealing with this.

Edited March 21, 2012 by kaylan

[minnie2]

As for calling her a whore - I totally get it. Now, spitting into her face was really mean, but it's an extreme reaction to her behavior. It's not like you hurt her physically. If you broke her leg or something, then I'd say you'd gone too far.

But one can't expect a cheated party to send a polite postcard with an essay how she hurt your feelings. It's normal that you're angry, that you scream and call her whatever you want.

If it was the opposite situation-a girl that was cheated on-I would almost expect her to scream, cry, even slap you. I assume that you're physically stronger than her so let's ignore slapping or anything similar, but boys are allowed to similar things.

So, should you be proud of what you did? No. But who should be more ashamed, she or you? I think it's her.

[Andy_K]

But should I apologize? First, I have never been this rude to a woman ever in my life. Second, I don't really wish her bad things but I was crushed deeply.

 

Then should I try to work it out with her? She's been trying to contact me and doesn't really blame me for how I acted. She wants to talk about it and the messages seem remorseful.

 

I can't say what is right for you, but here is what I would do in your situation:

 

Meet up with her. Apologise for the way you reacted, and spitting on her in particular. Hear out her apologies and reasons. This is the end of a three-year relationship, not a 3 month one.

 

I'd 'forgive' in the sense that I'd try not to harbour resentment and apportion blame - as much for my own psychological health as for hers - but then explain to her that she's not the person you thought she was and you no longer believe she's right for you. So time for you both to move on.

 

You don't really hate her, so there is no point pretending to do so, and nothing to be gained from it. However, I really don't think there's a future in it either, so you almost certainly do need to split up.

 

You'll feel better knowing you took the moral high ground before you split up, and you'll look a damn sight more mature to any girl you date in the future who asks about your previous relationships.

[Eddie Edirol]

Tom, I dont think you should talk to her unless you're going to tell her its permanently over, and you want to try to pry information out of her, like why did she feel the need to cheat on you. She might lie, or might not tell you so she can try to keep you, but thats why you need to tell her its completely over first. At least if you try to ask her what went wrong, you can find out if you did something to encourage this behavior, or if she is just a cold cheater.

[WoMann]

The dirty whore got what she deserved, people get killed for less. I would test for STD's if I were you.

[nofool4u]

It has been a week later since finding out my gf has been sleeping around on me for about 4 months into our 3 year-old relationship.

 

Words can't really explain what I felt in that moment and I use every single horrible word in the book. I end up spitting in her face and saying ''How long were you going to keep this a secret bitch, you ****ing whore I wish I never met you, I wish you were dead, I hope you get run over by a car, etc''.

 

At the same time that's the woman I wanted to spend my life with but had to return the ring (she doesn't know this). But should I apologize? First, I have never been this rude to a woman ever in my life. Second, I don't really wish her bad things but I was crushed deeply.

 

Then should I try to work it out with her? She's been trying to contact me and doesn't really blame me for how I acted. She wants to talk about it and the messages seem remorseful. But I don't know if there would be any success if I were to work it out. I'm sorry for what I told her. Have never done that ever. Although cheating is devastating, I'm feeling like a total jerk.

 

You probably should apologize for the spitting, as it can be considered battery.

Aside from that, she isn't worth you lowering yourself to spitting.

 

You shouldn't apologize or feel sorry for calling her what she is though. You were entitled to call her those things.

 

Work it out with her? Are you kidding? Even though you were entitled to say those things to her, you can't pretend they were never said, just like you can't pretend she is one and that she did cheat.

 

If you try to work it out with her, and end up back with her, expect to be cheated on in the future again.

[nofool4u]

It doesn't matter what she did, she did not deserve your verbal abuse or to be spat on.

 

To be spat on, no, nobody deserves that.

 

To be yelled at and called what she is? She most certainly deserved that.

[Chi townD]

You can apologize for your behavior; that it was completely out of character for you to do that. However, her behavior cut you to the core and you don't have to stand for that.

 

If it were me? I would apologize. No talk of what happened, no talk of relationship. No listening to excuses. I would just apologize turn and walk away.

[nofool4u]

Whore.

 

Why don't you just say it?

 

Ok, I will. Whore.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Don't apologize, don't take her calls.

 

Technically she could have exposed you to diseases like HIV. I don't think you should feel bad about spitting. That said... I would not admit to it under any circumstances.

 

I love how all the posters here think it's cool that she could kill him with an STD, yet spitting is the worst offense ever.

[Black Jack]

You probably should apologize for the spitting, as it can be considered battery.

Aside from that, she isn't worth you lowering yourself to spitting.

 

You shouldn't apologize or feel sorry for calling her what she is though. You were entitled to call her those things.

 

Work it out with her? Are you kidding? Even though you were entitled to say those things to her, you can't pretend they were never said, just like you can't pretend she is one and that she did cheat.

 

If you try to work it out with her, and end up back with her, expect to be cheated on in the future again.

 

He doesn't have to apologize to her about anything. She caused him damage that can never be reversed.

 

And besides come on, dude. There isn't going to be a full investigation on spitting on someone. That's a waste of time and if the cops heard why he did it, they'll shrug it off and tell her to suck it up.

[nofool4u]

He doesn't have to apologize to her about anything. She caused him damage that can never be reversed.

 

And besides come on, dude. There isn't going to be a full investigation on spitting on someone. That's a waste of time and if the cops heard why he did it, they'll shrug it off and tell her to suck it up.

 

I agree, however, aside from yelling at her, he should hold himself to a higher standard than her and not spit. He should have more self-respect than to do something like that.

 

While understandable about his anger and calling her what she is, spitting takes it to the physical realm, and is just downright disgusting.

 

Even though I initially thought he should apologize for the spitting, its probably just as well to turn around and walk away, not say anything to her. She really doesn't deserve any words from him at all.

 

But he should have more respect for himself than to spit on someone.

[Torn_scorned]

Spitting in someone's face is battery; she could press charges and send you to jail.

I know but she isn't. Today I've received a total of 10 missed calls from her asking for a second chance and to meet her up so we an talk about it. She does understands why I got upset.

[Torn_scorned]

I'm going to answer her call eventually but not this week. I think I need at least 2 weeks to think about it then I'll be ready.

 

I would like to know why she did that. Not that there is any excuse but it would be helpful if there was indeed something missing or if she just wanted to for no reason. I'm thinking maybe I should have let her talk, see what she has to say but I didn't.

 

I still want to know what happened that would make her disrespect and betray me in the worst way possible. It hasn't been easy because some of my co-workers and friends knew about my surprise proposal. I end up telling them the truth. I'm not someone that can hid a depressed expression and get on as if nothing happened. At home, I've been crying some.

 

As far as getting back with her: I'm not sure. I would have made a big difference if it was either a ONS horrible drunken decision or she were to confess but this was ongoing and I'm wondering how long would this be happening if I haven't found out. Is she really remorseful through those messages or just sorry I found out about it? If she is really sorry, how can I trust her again? For sure, I'll never propose to her again. Thus way not even sure if it's worth it.

Edited March 21, 2012 by Torn_scorned

[Desensitized]

I'm going to answered her call eventually but not this week. I think I need at least 2 weeks to think about it then I'll be ready.

 

I would like to know why she did that. Not that there is any excuse but it would be helpful if there was indeed something missing or if she just wanted to for no reason. I'm thinking maybe I should have let her talk, see what she has to say but I didn't.

 

I still want to know what happened that would make her disrespect and betray me in the worst way possible. It hasn't been easy because some of my co-workers and friends knew about my surprise proposal. I end up telling them the truth. I'm not someone that can hid a depressed expression and get on as if nothing happened. At home, I've been crying some.

 

Who the f*ck cares what her reason was? Let her go, seriously. Yeah, all she will say to you is how she didn't cheat, and or how she didn't do much with the guy. Don't believe anything she says. She doesn't love you. She's just upset she got caught and she wants to relieve some guilt by talking to you. I wouldn't even let her talk. If she wants to talk badly, she will come to your place. Let. Her. Go.

[gaius]

It wasn't a great choice to spit in her face, but you made it and it's done with. Don't be apologizing for anything, she will think you're a total douche if you show up at her door saying you're sorry after she just cheated on you.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

It's quite possible she commited fraud. Good luck on either of them getting a conviction or judgment though. Not gonna happen.

 

IMO, no don't apologize and no don't try to work things out, just move on. Good luck and very sorry this happened to you.

 

 

Fraud, in this case, wouldn't be illegal. Sadly, it's just a part of life (much like Life Savers are a part of living).

[flyaway]

I think the spitting in the face is a bad choice because you could get arrested on her word alone.

 

I think however, the highest level of verbal abuse is warranted. you don't want to be called a whore? don't be a whore. And she IS a whore and it's 100% okay to tell her so.

[Star Gazer]

No chance of that happening whatsoever. First of all there won't be any evidence. Secondly, jails are full and there are more important matters. The police wouldn't even investigate the matter.

 

Tell that to the guy I had thrown in jail for 11 months last month.

[Airborne]

Tell that to the guy I had thrown in jail for 11 months last month.

The acid guy?

[Black Jack]

I agree, however, aside from yelling at her, he should hold himself to a higher standard than her and not spit. He should have more self-respect than to do something like that.

 

While understandable about his anger and calling her what she is, spitting takes it to the physical realm, and is just downright disgusting.

 

But people respond to cheating emotionally. in very different ways. Some extreme some not.

 

Even though I initially thought he should apologize for the spitting, its probably just as well to turn around and walk away, not say anything to her. She really doesn't deserve any words from him at all.

 

But he should have more respect for himself than to spit on someone.

 

I agree that it's not the way I would've handled it, but hey sh*t happens.

[stillafool]

Where's the proof that the OP spit on her? We all do stupid things sometimes, especially when we are irrational. But hey, you didn't hit her at least. I would say just stay away from her, or perhaps next time it will be worse (you hitting her). Just leave her in your past, these type of girls tend to make guys go crazy.

 

 

I agree with you. I remember a while back a female poster said she found out her bf cheated on her and she punched him. Some people thought that action was justified because she is a woman. I don't think there is ever a reason to physically assault someone no matter what sex you are but I can't blame you for the verbal attack considering what she did to you. I think you should leave her alone and not go back to her because you will never, ever feel the same about her. I certainly would not think of marrying her because she can't be trusted.

[Professor X]

Tell that to the guy I had thrown in jail for 11 months last month.

 

For a spit? I don't believe you 1 bit. And an obvious lie.