What Is Going On?!?!?!?!?!

[TotalChaos]

Will and I have been friends for about 6 years now. We don't see much of each other in person because he lives in the state next door and travels for a living.

Over the years, we have spent ALOT of time on the phone together and go out to dinner when able. He seems to expect me to be there for him all the time. Off and on he has talked about me living on the road with him. Keep in mind we are strictly friends and no lines have been crossed as far as us being physically interactive.

We recently got to spend an entire day together and it was great! We went to the city and did some shopping and went out for dinner. He made the remark during dinner that he would take care of me. He told me that he wanted me to leave with him and go on the road.

Later that evening we were talking and he and he decided to "get comfortable and relax". He asked me to stay and sleep on the bunk. I told him that I didnt want to sleep on the bunk.

While we were talking, Will took all his clothes off minus his boxers. I thought it was a lil strange, but I know this is how he sleeps.

while I wasnt looking at him, he slipped his boxers off and and was laying there naked. He did put his boxers over his privates, but only because I was totally in shock by his actions! I may have over reacted a lil bit, but I couldnt believe he was doing this!

After laying there butt naked he made a comment about how we couldnt do anything, because it would ruin our friendship and he didnt want to risk that. He then said I didnt have to lay on the bunk and could lay next to him, but not to touch him?!?! As tired as I was, I went home and left him to fall asleep.

I just don't understand what is going on in that head of his. In my mind, if he was that worried about jeapordizing the friendship, he wouldnt lay naked infront of me. Also, why would he inisist on a "friend" living with him on the road and taking care of her?

He swears up and down that he doesnt like me more than a friend, but his actions don't add up. Will is in his late 30's and I don't see why he can't just say how he feels. We tell each other everything and generally speak our mind no matter what. Why can't he be honest with me about this situation?!

[spiderowl]

It all sounds a bit weird to me. It could be he's saying he wants you to be near him as a friend because he thinks that's all you want and he doesn't want to risk rejection? Dunno. He is old enough to make his wishes known, I would have thought.

 

What do you know about his background? Are you sure he is single? Could he be married? Long-distance relationships are a wonderful opportunity for married cheats to play away, knowing the trusting friend/girlfriend is unlikely to turn up on the doorstep. They can make all sorts of claims about wanting to see more of you, safe in the knowledge that you won't follow up.

 

Lying on the bed naked is clearly an invitation but it's a bit creepy. Again, he's not being direct with you and it certainly doesn't sound like an affectionate approach. Maybe he has some problem with his own sexuality and doesn't know what he wants, hence the conflicting behaviour. Why not ask him directly what he's doing and what he wants from your relationship? If it's getting to the point where he's exposing himself in this way, you deserve some sort of explanation.

[TotalChaos]

Thanks to the reply. We have spent ALOT of time talking and I have met his mom and step dad. I've also spoke with his young daughter on the phone several times. He was divorced about 12 years go. He hasn't had a serious relationship since I've known him and he's made suggestive remarks over the years implying he's interested. I've tried to have serious conversations with him about his actions and most of the time I don't get a straight answer. When I questioned him about his nudity, he said there was nothing wrong with being nude and it was a natural thing. He then said I was free to get undressed as well, but nothing was going to happen. Who's he trying to convince right?

Will doesn't open up to people easily, especially women! He talks to me about alot of things, but when it comes to his peronal feelings he wont give a straight answer. I've been there for him through thick and then, even when I should have walked away and he still can't open up to me.

This has caused problems in the past to where we went for a period of time without speaking. He always contacts me in one way or another when this happens. It gets so damn frustrating sometimes!

After readying your reply, I'm calling him tomarrow and we are going to have a talk. We drive each other absolutely nuts! Thanks again.

[CC12]

Why can't he be honest with me about this situation?!

 

Do you have romantic feelings for him? If so, why haven't you been honest about them?

 

 

 

P.S. A dude getting naked in front of you for no good reason and then asking you to get in bed with him is...just so bizarre and skeezy and inappropriate. Besides "shocked," how did you feel about this?