Sugarkane Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 And it's NEVER to make sure you're ok or anything. It's all just ME, ME , ME. I had the guy I went out with after my ex do this AGAIN to me recently. Mind you I haven't spoken to him in almost a year. And this is the guy the guy that dumped me by text coz he wanted to be single. Then asked me back only to stand me up and then call me the psycho. WTF? However I would so bad want to do this to my ex who dumped me by text and never heard from ever again. He always used to put me down all the time. He got a real ego boost from it. He never thought I'd make something of myself. He used to always brag about how much money he was going to make after he graduated. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted March 21, 2012 Author Share Posted March 21, 2012 Especially when I read people's stories on here of their dumpers phoning them out of the blue, when they haven't spoken to them in x months, years. And tehy always brag about how they're getting married/ pregnant. Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Despite them dumping us, they still have a memory of us in their lives and, like everyone, they enjoy an ego boost occasionally. Knowing an ex, no matter how badly they've been treated, is still willing to answer the phone or reply to texts must feed that ego so much. I've not had the "I'm doing great" texts or even anything regarding her life with her guy, but I have had the occasionally breadcrumb thrown at me. Some I've responded to, others I've ignored. Eventually it stops though when they realise you're either not showing emotion in your responses or you simply don't respond. Link to post Share on other sites
TheJiltedGeneration Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 (edited) And it's NEVER to make sure you're ok or anything. It's all just ME, ME , ME. I had the guy I went out with after my ex do this AGAIN to me recently. Mind you I haven't spoken to him in almost a year. And this is the guy the guy that dumped me by text coz he wanted to be single. Then asked me back only to stand me up and then call me the psycho. WTF? However I would so bad want to do this to my ex who dumped me by text and never heard from ever again. He always used to put me down all the time. He got a real ego boost from it. He never thought I'd make something of myself. He used to always brag about how much money he was going to make after he graduated. Okay sorry edit I read this abit wrong, he directly contacted you it seemed, sorry i read it that you looking at his facebook or something, but yea block his number or tell him directly you don't anything to do this as he's just being oppressive now and IT AINT FAIR ON YOU!!! It's bad that he's keeping you with taps on how his live is unravelling, at this pinnicle turnpoint of your emotional recovery, but at the moment it sounds like YOUR ALLOWING him to do so... not only that you should not accept his advances either, because you already know he won't change, especially if he's done this before, and really he probably does not even want you, just that your convient to him you may rumminate about on how you wish your ex wants you back so badly because of such a incident... but have you ever stop to consider that maybe while he was in item with you mid relationship, he was thinking of a live without you way ahead in advance... this idea recently hit me in one of the many plethora of "get over your ex" websites I've visited recently, and one Q&A was the infamous "they seem to dump me out of the blue, as if suddenly a mental switch turned off, and they instantly had no feelings anymore". though the person who responded on the site pretty much deconstructed this myth in a way that is actually quite obvious, tbh it was so simple I completely overlooked this concept: and that was secretly while they were somewhat secure with your presence they were probably ruminating behind your back about leaving days, months, even years before actually bringing it up. They seemed happy with you only for apperances or because at that moment you where offering them something they couldnt immediately get elsewhere. he also added that the reason why they where not at the same stage of grief as we are right now is because they went through the stages of the break up weeks before actually doing it, and where becoming distant at this time and not before the break up. Therefore when you look at it, in terms of recovering from a relationship, sad to say, but they HAVE had a head start during the kind of "planning stages of breaking up" during the actual relationship. Pretty F***ed up I know but considering how heartless dumpers can be.. it makes a lot of sence... and when you think about it, its very obvious.... my point is, You really have to put your foot down and say NO. no matter how much it hurts, say no, no matter how much you don't want to return to the misery of his abscene say NO. it has gone to a stage where you KNOW he won't change and he doesnt love you, but because he seems like the best thing that happened to you, your really fine with dancing to his tune. I can't begin to imagine how disempowering that is for your self esteem; to be living in accord to someone's whims because you need that happiness of union, even though he barely cares about your feelings, you really need to care of yourself better, as this is really emotionally abusive..you keep doing this, your always going to suffer.. you need to return to the NC you should have commited to Months and maybe years ago (its been a year or two yea if my memory serves me right) ... otherwise you keep revisiting this source and your going to return to step one all the time. I still feel like visiting my ex's facebook, deviant art, w/e but I've learnt now (kind of in a pavolov's dogs kind of way of association) that for exactly what your going through right now in terms of second guessing the suitation, it really is not worth it. no matter how you justify the supposid turning of a new leaf, you will never be satified with what you see, it will never provide you with answers or the closure you feel you need right now, so just do yourself a favour , cut all ties and move on.. otherwise three four year down the line you will realise how much time you've actually wasted on something out of your control.. Edited March 21, 2012 by TheJiltedGeneration 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 And it's NEVER to make sure you're ok or anything. It's all just ME, ME , ME. I had the guy I went out with after my ex do this AGAIN to me recently. Mind you I haven't spoken to him in almost a year. And this is the guy the guy that dumped me by text coz he wanted to be single. Then asked me back only to stand me up and then call me the psycho. WTF? However I would so bad want to do this to my ex who dumped me by text and never heard from ever again. He always used to put me down all the time. He got a real ego boost from it. He never thought I'd make something of myself. He used to always brag about how much money he was going to make after he graduated. All we can do is pity those who still feel the need to bring us down to their level rather than being able to find true happiness in what they do have. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Heatherlyinn Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 sounds like a complete narcissist that's why my ex is.. after looking up Narcissistic personality disorder I could not believe how much my ex is described in total. Sadly they will always for the rest of their lives be only about themselves and blame everyone else for anything.. even their own horrible behaviour 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Phanpooh Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 my ex asked me share something with her, i told her about my life and then we break up, with a reason, i told about myself too much, i dreamed too much. i forgot to tell her, when she sleep with him, i threw a engagement ring to the river, i threw my ticket to trash, i picked my ego, take back my heart, bring up my soul and suit up my self-respect. just stand up, to built my dream again, to go more far, tomorrow, im gonna open my own company Link to post Share on other sites
leannesagoodman Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 God I'm glad I've found this thread on this page today! My ex keeps contacting me via anonymous messages on this blog site (I blocked her so that's the only way she can contact me; she may have sent others but I don't want to see them). Today I got one saying she's so much happier without me. I wish she'd stop sending them because while I'm not going to reply to them, I don't know what to do. But the above posts are so right. You can't bring yourselves down to their level just so they can get an ego boost when they don't care about you anymore. It hurts a lot - and for me it has for a while, more than she'll ever realise - but I suppose we've got to stick with it. Link to post Share on other sites
fucpcg Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Wow I've never had an ex do this, and can't believe the ball$ of some people. If that was happening to me I'd just ignore/delete any contacts made. Link to post Share on other sites
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