ThaWholigan Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Saw this post in another thread: If I were you I wouldnt tell her. I dont know which kind of person she is, but If she thinks that you are not experienced in sex, she may get disappointed. Do you have a chance or idea of making practice, before her? I think it would help to reduce your stress or give more self esteem before her.. What is your feeling about the "practice girl" theory that is sometimes given to virgins/inexperienced guys? I don't particularly advocate it as I feel using a girl for practice is a little unethical with regards to the emotions that would be involved, unless there is a clear indication that it would be a casual arrangement, and that is very highly unlikely unless you're paying for it (see Male Virgin = See an escort thread). Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 I proably would feel more comfortable considering how many women seem to view inexperience as a hinderance.. Problem is if your a virgin that late in life its obviously hard enough for that person to get a women in general never mind a practice girl:D 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 I believe that the profession of prostitution was created to serve that exact purpose. I don't see a problem with it, provided the woman hasn't been coerced or bullied into the role. I'd only have a problem with it if a guy's entire sex life revolved around using prostitutes...but in terms of an inexperienced man getting sexual practice (or even just practice having a basic social interaction with a woman). I think it's far preferable that a man looking for "practice" employ the services of a professional who knows exactly what it is he's looking for, than that he deceive a woman into believing that there is a genuine relationship between them. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Practice for dates, and general interaction with females (as long as you're genuinely friendly towards her not just using her as a robot), yes. Using a girl for "practice sex"? No. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 If the purpose is practice with intentions versus practice unintentional are different. If "practice with intentions" then it is unethical and not wise. Also the school of hard knocks teaches everyone that not everything is permanent. Practice with unintentional is different, you didn't go into the relationship cognizant of pumping and dumping. You actually tried to make it work. When I was younger, my friends had "practice girlfriends" and they "were practice boyfriends" It was interesting, I personally believe in trying to make something work. If I wanted practice, I'll would have gone pro with the GF experience. (BTW I never took that option) Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThaWholigan Posted March 21, 2012 Author Share Posted March 21, 2012 If the purpose is practice with intentions versus practice unintentional are different. If "practice with intentions" then it is unethical and not wise. Also the school of hard knocks teaches everyone that not everything is permanent. Practice with unintentional is different, you didn't go into the relationship cognizant of pumping and dumping. You actually tried to make it work. When I was younger, my friends had "practice girlfriends" and they "were practice boyfriends" It was interesting, I personally believe in trying to make something work. If I wanted practice, I'll would have gone pro with the GF experience. (BTW I never took that option) Well I've got a 10 page thread going over the whole thing. I'm not completely against the idea but I'm not at the point where I feel I need to see a pro. And besides, the idea wasn't exactly advocated, and generally isn't seen all too attractive by a lot of women. I always thought of it as being damned if you do and damned if you don't. It's not necessarily a source of frustration, but it seems to be a very divisive issue. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 I don't think the forums resident practice girl would enjoy people doing that intentionally to her. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Well I've got a 10 page thread going over the whole thing. I'm not completely against the idea but I'm not at the point where I feel I need to see a pro. And besides, the idea wasn't exactly advocated, and generally isn't seen all too attractive by a lot of women. I always thought of it as being damned if you do and damned if you don't. It's not necessarily a source of frustration, but it seems to be a very divisive issue. It isn't a attractive option to women. Many women view that as relationship red flags. There are some women but going pro, usually causes the loss of trust. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 I think working on getting actual dates and experience from willing participants would make more sense and be more ethical than trying to use women, whether the used women are paid for or not. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 I believe that the profession of prostitution was created to serve that exact purpose. I don't see a problem with it, provided the woman hasn't been coerced or bullied into the role. I'd only have a problem with it if a guy's entire sex life revolved around using prostitutes...but in terms of an inexperienced man getting sexual practice (or even just practice having a basic social interaction with a woman). I think it's far preferable that a man looking for "practice" employ the services of a professional who knows exactly what it is he's looking for, than that he deceive a woman into believing that there is a genuine relationship between them. Being with a hooker, is not a suitable replacement for being in a relationship. The only thing one can do is learn the most basic mechanics of sex. And even then that is minimal as there is no focus on foreplay or anything about her pleasure. Intimacy is also not existent. Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Being with a hooker, is not a suitable replacement for being in a relationship. The only thing one can do is learn the most basic mechanics of sex. And even then that is minimal as there is no focus on foreplay or anything about her pleasure. Intimacy is also not existent. I'm not suggesting it is...but I'm working on the assumption that for a lot of men, their ongoing problem is that they feel stuck in the friend zone, whereby they get plenty of practice in relating to the opposite sex, but no opportunities for sexual contact. I don't think many women mind providing friendship to a man who wants to improve the way he relates to women, but I suspect most would draw the line at providing opportunities for sexual practice. If you're both attracted sexually to a person and you like them as a person then that seems to be a good basis for an actual relationship, rather than something that should be regarded as "for practice". Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThaWholigan Posted March 21, 2012 Author Share Posted March 21, 2012 I think working on getting actual dates and experience from willing participants would make more sense and be more ethical than trying to use women, whether the used women are paid for or not. I think we all agree about that, and I personally have no qualms with that route. But it becomes increasingly harder for guys who are in a similar position at my age and older. I think that for women to expect them to do as everybody else does, yet at the same time refuse to date them for that very same reason, is a little patronizing in one sense. However, I understand that most guys shouldn't take their inexperience so seriously and should at least try to ignore the jibes and the rejections that they get for it. So working on getting actual dates from willing participants would make more sense, but who's to guarantee that they are going to get it? (Hypothetically speaking) Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 The only thing one can do is learn the most basic mechanics of sex. And even then that is minimal as there is no focus on foreplay or anything about her pleasure. Intimacy is also not existent. You know what, you won't get performance anxiety and hence may build confidence. Think gestalt, work on the parts and the whole will fall into place. At least you are working on part 2 where sex lets you keep them. Really, maybe you should change your OLD profile to just seeking FWB? If you want to get technical, look up Toyota Production System, Total Quality Management; for the business case types. If you can't work on getting everything right, work on things NOW that you can get right. So for you, it might be go pro while you get your overall package in place. So working on getting actual dates from willing participants would make more sense, but who's to guarantee that they are going to get it? (Hypothetically speaking) This is it. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 I'm not suggesting it is...but I'm working on the assumption that for a lot of men, their ongoing problem is that they feel stuck in the friend zone, whereby they get plenty of practice in relating to the opposite sex, but no opportunities for sexual contact. I don't think many women mind providing friendship to a man who wants to improve the way he relates to women, but I suspect most would draw the line at providing opportunities for sexual practice. If you're both attracted sexually to a person and you like them as a person then that seems to be a good basis for an actual relationship, rather than something that should be regarded as "for practice". That's just it, I would never want to use a girl just for practice. About the friendzone, I've been there my whole life with various girls. But even then, you don't really learn how to relate to them beyond the superficial level. A woman isn't going to be as open with a friend as she would be with a partner. And there is no learning about how to make a relationship actually work. Then getting back to the sex for practice thing, one isn't going to be good at something if they only do it once a month. And at $300 an hour, I really can't imagine doing it more than once a month. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Who are we kidding here!? Six 10 minute sessions would do it! :lmao: Then work up to six 30 minute sessions. :lmao: I jest and just kidding people. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 I think we all agree about that, and I personally have no qualms with that route. But it becomes increasingly harder for guys who are in a similar position at my age and older. I think that for women to expect them to do as everybody else does, yet at the same time refuse to date them for that very same reason, is a little patronizing in one sense. However, I understand that most guys shouldn't take their inexperience so seriously and should at least try to ignore the jibes and the rejections that they get for it. So working on getting actual dates from willing participants would make more sense, but who's to guarantee that they are going to get it? (Hypothetically speaking) Well, we've had this conversation before, but I'll just say that I think men do take their sexual inexperience too seriously, and there are many women out there that would not hold that against you, and would rather you be the kind of man who is selective about who you sleep with, rather than some guy that is going to use women. The type of women who would reject you because you didn't sleep around is not the kind of woman worth having anyway. There are a lot of women on LS who have said they wouldn't mind dating a guy with little to no sexual experience, and some of them even have and are in a satisfying relationship with them now. If men are willing to put themselves out there and approach women, have realistic standards based on what they have to offer, and not be afraid of some rejection, they will eventually be successful. Plenty of women out there who would appreciate the male attention and interest, but most of these guys are too afraid to even approach women, or they do so so infrequently, and take any rejection to heart, that they defeat themselves from ever getting to the stage of dating. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 When I find out a guy is dating me out of desperation/for practice, I spread the word far and wide that the guy is a jerk. Even in small cities, reputations spread. Girls after are always going to wonder if you're dating them cause you like them, or just for more "practice." Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 When I find out a guy is dating me out of desperation/for practice, I spread the word far and wide that the guy is a jerk. Even in small cities, reputations spread. Girls after are always going to wonder if you're dating them cause you like them, or just for more "practice." How would you know? I figure you go on a date, maybe two. Figure out things won't work and you part ways. How is that any different than someone who was interested and changed his mind (or her mind if the shoe was on the other foot)? Someone would have to be incredibly stupid to admit to using someone as practice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThaWholigan Posted March 21, 2012 Author Share Posted March 21, 2012 Well, we've had this conversation before, but I'll just say that I think men do take their sexual inexperience too seriously, and there are many women out there that would not hold that against you, and would rather you be the kind of man who is selective about who you sleep with, rather than some guy that is going to use women. The type of women who would reject you because you didn't sleep around is not the kind of woman worth having anyway. There are a lot of women on LS who have said they wouldn't mind dating a guy with little to no sexual experience, and some of them even have and are in a satisfying relationship with them now. If men are willing to put themselves out there and approach women, have realistic standards based on what they have to offer, and not be afraid of some rejection, they will eventually be successful. Plenty of women out there who would appreciate the male attention and interest, but most of these guys are too afraid to even approach women, or they do so so infrequently, and take any rejection to heart, that they defeat themselves from ever getting to the stage of dating. Agree. It's a psychological issue, I think there should be some kind of therapy for men given in this particular area. Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 IMO semantic nullity. Like talking about how many unicorns can fit in my back yard. A man with little experience who "takes what he can get" in the form of a woman who wouldn't be his top choice otherwise is not "practicing" anything, just two people having voluntary sex and satisfying their sexual desires. This is the condition of the average sex seeking man, and nothing wrong with it in the least. Now of course if he lied to her to get the sex that's a different matter entirely. Women have sex with men they would never enter a relationship with CONSTANTLY today, and know it from the outset, so trying to tag men with yet another derogatory term and construct suggesting the use and abuse of women is not equitable. The term "practice girl" is a needlessly negatively charged one, coined to either provoke female readers or amuse teenage boys. In all likelihood it originated in a HS locker room somewhere during a dick-measuring contest. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Agree. It's a psychological issue, I think there should be some kind of therapy for men given in this particular area. There IS therapy for that. And it wouldn't be a bad idea for people to seek therapy if their fear of rejection is holding them back from getting the relationship that they want. Link to post Share on other sites
Skump Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 I think it's far preferable that a man looking for "practice" employ the services of a professional who knows exactly what it is he's looking for, than that he deceive a woman into believing that there is a genuine relationship between them. Except for those "career destroying ramifications" that can come with being caught in a police prostitution sting. FWIW, I really don't see a problem with "using" people in this way - it's the inevitable flip side to demanding sexual experience. Arguing about the "ethics" of it is just baying at the moon. The incentives are what they are. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 How would you know? I figure you go on a date, maybe two. Figure out things won't work and you part ways. How is that any different than someone who was interested and changed his mind (or her mind if the shoe was on the other foot)? Someone would have to be incredibly stupid to admit to using someone as practice. It can come out. A simple question of, "are you attracted to me", and a careless answer can make everything clear. Some girls, probably most, can tell when a guy isn't fully into her and she'll do things to test him. Also a girl will be suspicious when a guy who should be out of her league is into her. One thing I clearly remember about the overweight girl I dated way back when, is that she kept asking me what I thought about other girls. I didn't get why she was doing it back then, but I understand now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThaWholigan Posted March 21, 2012 Author Share Posted March 21, 2012 IMO semantic nullity. Like talking about how many unicorns can fit in my back yard. A man with little experience who "takes what he can get" in the form of a woman who wouldn't be his top choice otherwise is not "practicing" anything, just two people having voluntary sex and satisfying their sexual desires. This is the condition of the average sex seeking man, and nothing wrong with it in the least. Now of course if he lied to her to get the sex that's a different matter entirely. Women have sex with men they would never enter a relationship with CONSTANTLY today, and know it from the outset, so trying to tag men with yet another derogatory term and construct suggesting the use and abuse of women is not equitable. The term "practice girl" is a needlessly negatively charged one, coined to either provoke female readers or amuse teenage boys. In all likelihood it originated in a HS locker room somewhere during a dick-measuring contest. I agree, if it's no lies. The conundrum would be whether anyone would be up for it, especially if you have little experience. Even those girls who "wouldn't be his top choice".....would they also agree? Also factor in the likelihood that those girls may want a relationship with said man. Raises the question, if he doesn't want a relationship with her, is having sex with her really the wisest thing to do? Link to post Share on other sites
irin Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 op, i dont like it at all im a virgin girl, trying to find a guy whos also as a virgin but its so difficult. i hate that we are told to be ashamed of, especially to guys i feel so bad for them! Link to post Share on other sites
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