For people in their mid to late twenties, do you want to get married & have kids?

[LBW]

I'm 27 and finishing my last semester of a PhD program. I start work right after I graduate. I've been dating a great guy for almost half a year.

 

I've never been sure about wanting to get married or having children. Recently, my dad has been pushing me to have a traditional family life. He wants me to get married and have kids. I'm not sure I want to, or am cut out, for it. I am also having trouble understanding why he has encouraged me to pursue a graduate education that has taken years in order to work as a professional, only to tell me that I should get married and have children. It's hard to reconcile the two realistically. I realize that I only have a handful of years left to decide whether or not I want children and at this point I don't think I'm ready.

 

What are your opinions?

[Philosoraptor]

I'm 25 and I surely want both of those things and always have.

[sweetsmmr91]

I'm only 21, and I've always known I wanted kids. But I've got friends who can't imagine having kids, ever. One friend is going off for the Peace Corps and just wants to travel forever- which is awesome. Kids and marriage aren't for everyone! Don't let your dad pressure you too much, do what you're happy with. And then someday if you decide you do want kids? You can try. Or you can adopt if you're much older. There's always options! Don't worry too much about it. My aunt had her first kid when she was 39.

[make me believe]

I'm 28, married, and definitely don't want kids. You've been dating your bf for less than six months and your dad is pressuring you to get married & start a family?? Why don't you tell your dad to mind his own business? You are an adult, it's your life and your decision. Tell him to butt out. You still have time if you decide you want a kid later on.

[tigressA]

You've been dating your bf for less than six months and your dad is pressuring you to get married & start a family?? Why don't you tell your dad to mind his own business? You are an adult, it's your life and your decision. Tell him to butt out. You still have time if you decide you want a kid later on.

 

What she said.

 

And to answer the question in the thread title for myself--I'm 24, and no f*cking way will I ever be getting married or having kids.

[chrissylee]

I wouldn't mind being married, but I NEVER want kids. I have always felt this way and can't see myself ever changing.

[LBW]

I'm 28, married, and definitely don't want kids. You've been dating your bf for less than six months and your dad is pressuring you to get married & start a family?? Why don't you tell your dad to mind his own business? You are an adult, it's your life and your decision. Tell him to butt out. You still have time if you decide you want a kid later on.

 

My dad isn't pressuring me to get married now, or necessarily with my current boyfriend, but he wants me to get married and have kids at some point in my life. I find it somewhat odd because he's never really broached the subject before. I assume it's because I'm reaching the age where many people settle down. I'm not sure I ever want to get married. However, keeping the option of having kids open implies making the decision in the near future.

Edited March 22, 2012 by LBW

[zengirl]

I'm 27.

 

When I was a kid/pre-teen, I didn't want to get married or have kids, and I was very adamant about it. I started dating my HS sweetheart at 15, and we almost got married when I was 19 (but he died). Ever since, I've always wanted to get married. I didn't want kids for most of my life. I felt certain about it till about 22, then I wavered and thought maybe I did want a kid. Then, I really wanted kids and identified as such for a couple years or so. Then I realized I was truly ambivalent, just before I met hubby. Hubby is ambivalent too, so we don't plan to have kids.

 

I'm not sure if I ever truly wanted kids. I love kids (I was a teacher and still work with kids) but not babies, and I've always found pregnancy weird. I think I might've mistakenly had one if I'd not married the right man. Be careful to know your own mind -- it is hard with all the social pressure, I think, and the absolutes. The idea that someone who's nurturing and loves kids should want to have one is what "fooled" me for a time.

[beenburned]

You have plenty of time to decide.

 

Once you get into your career, it will be very consuming.

 

Take your time and enjoy your youth!

 

Most career women don't start having kids until they are in their late 30's.