Saw my ex for first time

[Starman8]

So, my ex broke up with me about 8 months ago and it wasn't the best of circumstances. She broke up with me rather suddenly over email and started dating someone else long distance about a month later. I only replied "ok" to her breakup email and nothing else. We dated for about 2 years.

 

It was quite painful for me, but I soldiered on and got on with my life. During this time I missed her quite a bit, but always promised myself that if she was worth anything she would have to come back to me. While we dated, I was good to her and always made sure we were out doing something fun and different. We always had fun and laughs right up to the weekend before she ended it.

 

A few days ago I was out walking on the beach and saw her from a distance. After allowing my nerves to calm, I walked up to her and said hi. She seemed happy to see me and almost seemed like she was going to get emotional for a moment. We made small talk for a few minutes, I made her laugh a few times, and we both stated we were doing well. I was the one to end the conversation, wished her well, and we gave each other a hand squeeze. That was the first time seeing or talking to her in 8 months.

 

Since then, my emotions have been stirred up a little and find myself wishing that we could have another chance, although I still think she has to make the move.

 

Do you think there's a good chance she will contact me? Has this meeting stirred up similar emotions in her? Please help, I don't know what to think about all this.

[robertmathis1026]

Yes! that's very good chance, you are very good at getting a "NICE" first impression so. In my opinion you should communicate with her, and don't talk about your past relationship, talk about something new. If she doesn't contact you first then I think you should iniciate the conversation.

 

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Edited March 22, 2012 by robertmathis1026

[jmy33]

Depends..How would you handle it if she didn't feel the same way? Would it send you back to square one, or could you turn right around and keep pushing forward?

[Starman8]

Well I would definitely feel some disappointment if she didn't feel the same, but ultimately I would push forward.

 

I guess I should have asked this: at this point, is she even worth it at all if she doesn't contact me first. I gave her a great oppurtunity already. Even if she wanted to reestablish something, would she let it go for the sake of not putting herself out there and facing the music about what went wrong and how she handled it?

[Exit]

I guess I should have asked this: at this point, is she even worth it at all if she doesn't contact me first. I gave her a great oppurtunity already. Even if she wanted to reestablish something, would she let it go for the sake of not putting herself out there and facing the music about what went wrong and how she handled it?

 

Nobody here can answer these questions. Would she let the opportunity pass just to avoid dealing with her own BS and stupid decisions? Maybe yes, maybe no. If she felt anything for you but chose to ignore it just to avoid the hard work that would come from making up for what she did, that would show how little you are worth to her. Put yourself in her shoes, if you messed up with someone and wanted them back, would you let anything stop you? Even if you had to deal with a lot of hard emotions to make up for what you did? I wouldn't let that stop me and I don't think it would stop you either. So if she's not going to be the one to make contact or anything, then no, I don't think she's worth anything. You shouldn't have even been the one to do the approaching at the beach, but you did, and you chose to be friendly to someone you have no real reason to be friendly to. That wasn't enough to get any big reaction out of her and if you haven't heard anything from her since then I wouldn't count on this amounting to anything. It's been 8 months, if you hadn't run into her you still wouldn't have heard from her, and even now that you did see each other, she still isn't saying much. She ended a 2 year relationship in an email like a real winner and ran off with someone else. Don't let this mess with your head. It's unfortunate that you had to run in to her like that. You were tough enough to keep moving on so far, keep going.

[Chi townD]

You saw her on the beach. You two talk and laughed. You told her you had to leave and wished her well. She had the power to ask if you wanted to grab some coffee or lunch at anytime. She didn't.

 

Sorry Bro, but you running into her was a weird happenstance. Nothing more.

[Starman8]

Cool, thanks. These are all valid points here and I agree.

[immitable]

Like you said, she chose someone else over you, dumped you per e-mail.

 

Eventually her relationship is going to fade out sometime down the road, she may then, contact you and remember you, when she needs some sort of validation.

 

The question you should ask yourself is do you really want to be with someone again who broke up with you to be with someone else and who did that per e-mail. She must have felt like s***t when you approached her, since you stirred that burried guilt in her (the first moment) for breaking up with someone per e-mail.

Unfortunately this girls needs a lot of gowing up to do.

[cincinnatikid]

Same here .. saw mine for the first time in 7 months yesterday waiting outside a restaurant. she was walking her dog .. with a new guy.

[Starman8]

Yeah, I hope she felt guilt or regret or something. As for growing up, she's almost 36....good luck with that. But I don't need to tell her how messed up she is, I'll let karma take care of that. Besides, it would only help her out in the long run and my services to her aren't free anymore. I'll leave her alone.