findingstrength Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Hey guys, I was involved with my ex for roughly 4 years. I'm not going to waste time on the back story of our relationship, but for the last year or so we were not "officially together" In more recent months, she admitted to sleeping with two people, and me, in the past month admitted to sleeping with 2 women as well. There was lying on both our parts, at first by me regarding me looking at porn, then on her part regarding her going out and who she was hanging out with when we werent "officially together" There have been so many problems in this relationship, but I really love this girl a lot. We connect on a deeper level, on a level that I have been unable to achieve with any other girl I started dating. Granted, it hasnt been that much time, but I am a big believer in a spark being present that will let you know that there is that special connection there. Things were extremely rocky, and basically done up until about a week ago. So I decided to go NC and at that point she got extremely frantic and emotional, sending me tons of texts, calling me, even having her mother come speak to me. Before that, when I was speaking with her she was nasty to me. But, this past week, all she's been saying is how much she realizes she was wrong, how badly she wants to work things out, and how much effort she is willing to put into it to work things out. I feel very hurt by her, and though I try to be happy when we are hanging out sometimes I feel that spiteful anger come creeping up and it is very hard for me to interact with her. Should I try to work things out? Should I try to push through these bad feelings in hopes that we actually do regain trust and respect for one another? Can a healthy relationship be built when an extremely unhealthy toxic one was in place before? And the last notion that I keep thinking about is, can a person truly change? Can somebody that was ok with lying to me for so long about so many serious things become honest with themselves and with me? Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Sounds like quite a mess and you are well aware of it. Change is possible, but it doesn't happen overnight and odds are once the fear of you leaving is gone it will regress. Link to post Share on other sites
Author findingstrength Posted March 22, 2012 Author Share Posted March 22, 2012 Thats what Im afraid of. It is much more of a mess than I have described, in part because of my actions, also in part because of her continued lying. Fear shouldnt be the motivating factor that keeps a person from doing wrong. If thats the case Im running far far away. However, I do love her, and I want to believe that change is possible if she actually works for it and actually wants it. I just dont know if its going to happen Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 What you are experiencing is the power shift. Did she think about how you felt etc. when she was getting it on with other people? Nope. Just vanish on her and read the GIGS thread. You'll be doing yourself a favor in the longrun. Link to post Share on other sites
robertmathis1026 Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 everybody deserves for a second chance, remember everybody make mistakes Are you SUFFERING THE PAIN, because your ex DUMP you? Can You imagine, if you can make your ex BEGGING TO BACK WITH YOU? click here to make it HAPPEN!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author findingstrength Posted March 24, 2012 Author Share Posted March 24, 2012 what is the giggs thread? Link to post Share on other sites
Author findingstrength Posted March 27, 2012 Author Share Posted March 27, 2012 anybody? I tried searching but couldnt find it Link to post Share on other sites
Meg717 Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/251986-grass-greener-syndrome Link to post Share on other sites
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