perdida Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 I often ask myself whether I...am co-dependant or am I just really in-love, heart-broken and extremely depressed and obsessed.... Do any of you ever ask yourselves that question? Is anyone co-dependant and if u are, can you share your experiences so I can figure out if I am too? Thanks a bunch. I know, I know....I sound like a mess, and its cuz I am a mess. Just waitin for time to go by fast to heal my wounds and move on with life in a healthy way. Link to post Share on other sites
rd1978 Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 im in the process of figuring the same thing out my self,, when you are with someone for a period of time,,, you seem to get in that rut and get used to everything,, esp having that person around,, it just seems that when they are gone,, then your realize theses things,, yes i love my ex who i have been with for 5 years,,, and she left me for someon else and to go have her fun,, wel i think it was more to be single for a while but this dude is askign her to hang out all the time and she is single , why not... But i KNOW in my heart i could be happier, or much happier with someone else,, it's just the energy finding that person etc. etc. ... its like iw ant her back i love her,,, i kinda do ,, but in a way i know why thigns didnt work int he first place , but with a little compromising they could work fine,,, and also it seems peopel want something they cant have ,, when something comes natural, and then its taken away,, your natural reaction is to want it more because its not your anymore,,, and the other thing is there is a void missing that you were so used to ,, time will tell you eveything,, its been 6 0r 7 weeks and im still figuring it out myself Link to post Share on other sites
Author perdida Posted June 12, 2004 Author Share Posted June 12, 2004 Originally posted by rd1978 im in the process of figuring the same thing out my self,, when you are with someone for a period of time,,, you seem to get in that rut and get used to everything,, esp having that person around,, it just seems that when they are gone,, then your realize theses things,, yes i love my ex who i have been with for 5 years,,, and she left me for someon else and to go have her fun,, wel i think it was more to be single for a while but this dude is askign her to hang out all the time and she is single , why not... But i KNOW in my heart i could be happier, or much happier with someone else,, it's just the energy finding that person etc. etc. ... its like iw ant her back i love her,,, i kinda do ,, but in a way i know why thigns didnt work int he first place , but with a little compromising they could work fine,,, and also it seems peopel want something they cant have ,, when something comes natural, and then its taken away,, your natural reaction is to want it more because its not your anymore,,, and the other thing is there is a void missing that you were so used to ,, time will tell you eveything,, its been 6 0r 7 weeks and im still figuring it out myself wow, your situation sounds a lot like mine except for he didn't leave me to be with someone else but yes, he does wanna have his fun and was afraid of commitment. But you said exactly what I feel....we know we could b happier but its just finding that person that is hard, etc. and the part about u wanting her back cuz u love her but then u know why things didn't work out in the first place. I'm going thru the same emotions!! Trust me. One day I think...yeah, I'll wait for him cuz I love him, he's the one for me...but then other days its like screw that....he's an idiot for not appreciating me. Yeah, I've been going thru my ordeal for about 8 months now....and I remember that with the boyfriend I had before him who I had been with for almost 7 years, it took me 2 years to get over him!! So I got a long way to go.... I just can't figure out that co-dependancy thing...don't know if I should go thru that 12 step program to make it all better. I can't go thru the day without constantly thinking about him and what he's doing and who he's with. Maybe I'm just obsessed with it all... Link to post Share on other sites
rd1978 Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 well the thing is ,,, i dont know if she left me for someone else,,,,,, but i do know she is hanging out w/ this kid that she talked to why we were togethor,, and i know that he's tall,,really skinny, not goodlooking,, smoke's, adn ahd {plastic sneakers on} the 1 time i did meet him,, But they have been seen out a couple of times and the first 2 -3 they were holding hands,,, then last time they were seen he was walking in front of her,,, she told me 1 time that she wouldnt be able to leave me unless she had someone who was interested ,, and i know this guy was ,, this girl is really insecure,,, i almost want to say ,,,, hey i know your insecure and all and you picked the right guy ,, because now you dont have to worry about and girls stealing your guy,,, i did feel alot better after seeing this guy,, and having girls tell me she downgraded big time,, but to me it doesnt matter she isnt mine she is his....at the moment... i have alot of good looking girlFRIENDS that she was extremly jelious about,,, But in reality she was the 1 i wanted to be with ... didnt always show her that 100%.... i dont know she hasnt called me in a week ,,, but then again i didnt awnser the past 10 calls,, so i think she feels she would look stupid if she did, i almost just feel ,, i love her and im letting her go ,, she nees to fig out what life is about,, and so do i,, i wouldnt be anle to have a rational conversation untill im basically over her.. then we could try againif she wanted..... otherwise the old routine tends to fall in place, its been 7 weeks for me.. you say your going to wait,,,, your going to be able to accept the fact of him sleeping with other people? see i went thru this with this girl a year ago ,, this guy got her number and she broke up with me and started sleeping with him in alike a week,, she went nuts it was the only way she could try to get over me .. but i understood,, i was the first person she was with ,, i almost feel she wants to feel free and do her own thing ,, and you know the thing is if i showed up tot he bar with a good looking girl she would totally flip ,, she thinks she has totall control etc. etc. but i know her and i know how she would react if she saw me happy w/ someone else ,my phone would ring nonstop.. i would put $100 on it... and ill just have to see what happens in the future.... i dont feel like playing games The thing is you cannot wait around,, no matter how much you want to you should get out to see other people damn i wish i was in fl ,, there is alot more than here.. i mean i do think about her like all day long i do,,, but it doesnt tear me apart like it used to ,, i know she is thinking about me to but she almost know she cant come rigth back becasue nothing will get solved,, and ..... i think she might think i wont take her back,, time will tell,,,, you really cant be thinking about what or who or anything he is doing ,,, EASIER SAID than done..... Link to post Share on other sites
Just Visiting Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 Originally posted by perdida But you said exactly what I feel....we know we could b happier but its just finding that person that is hard, etc. and the part about u wanting her back cuz u love her but then u know why things didn't work out in the first place. I'm going thru the same emotions!! Trust me. One day I think...yeah, I'll wait for him cuz I love him, he's the one for me...but then other days its like screw that....he's an idiot for not appreciating me. Yeah, I've been going thru my ordeal for about 8 months now....and I remember that with the boyfriend I had before him who I had been with for almost 7 years, it took me 2 years to get over him!! So I got a long way to go.... I just can't figure out that co-dependancy thing...don't know if I should go thru that 12 step program to make it all better. I can't go thru the day without constantly thinking about him and what he's doing and who he's with. Maybe I'm just obsessed with it all... I am another person who is going through the same thing. I officially broke off the relationship with my ex almost a year ago. To this day, I still carry a lot of hurt and anger. He abandoned me emotionally and physically. I never had someone get up and leave me, it has been devastating. To be thoroughly convinced that he wants to be with you forever, and then sneak out the back door, well....I just can't understand why someone would do that to another. I later found out that he has a lot of commitment problems, and has been playing the emotional game repeatedly. Compared to the others, I am lucky by calling it off as soon as I found out. I know I am better off without him, he would have just caused more pain by fooling around behind my back. He is on my mind all the time and it is frustrating. I can't help if it is co-dependency along with abandonment issues. I have done some exercises that have helped. Also, keeping myself busy with work, school, extra-curricular activities. I even pray asking for guidance on how to get rid of this darkness inside me. Link to post Share on other sites
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