confusedwife29 Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 hI, me and my husband recently reconceilled after a few month seperation. things had started out good and kinda drifted back into the same issues we orginally had. we wont have a means to go to cousnling until about september (long story) but we have had a lot of issues. one main issue is the way he acts toward me, half the tiem he seems like i'm just a pain to him and i get in the way. when we were seperated he didnt act this way. he was nice sincere , loving etc. he is never happy i feel like no matter what i do it is wrong and i'm always between a rock and a hard place. it sucks. he told me when we got back together to be a stay at home mom.. i did that now he says no you need a job you dont contribute etc etc so i got a job and now hes not happy and has found fault with that. i just can never win with him. he also thinks we fight about everyhting when i dont think its fighting at all, i've been sick alst night iw as sleeping, he woke me up out of a dead sleep and says whats up with theese funny noises your making i rolled over and went back to sleep. today he says i started a fight with him about the funny noises nad hes sick of fighting with me everyday what??? i had no idea it was fight. he is unahppy with himself, his job and i think alot of that transpires over to us. it makes me sad, finnanly this morning i had had it he leaves with out saying goodbye and half the times when i talk to him on the phone when i say i love you he just says bye click... so i intiated a conversation saying we both need to be working harder or seperate... he says i'm the only one who hasnt changed. so i asked what i havent changed about , he said i dotn know you should know. he said he wont change until i do etc. well then i tried to make amends i caleld and said i wanted to tell you i love you. and i wanted to see if we could get a sitter and go to the movies tommrow he wsas all for it but then when he hangs up i say i love you he says bye. and it upsets me. i dont knw what to do. i dotn know what to say. should i even care about him not saying i love you back? is it a petty thing i should just keep my mouth shut about? maybe i'm beeing over sensitive? any ideas are welcome Link to post Share on other sites
confusedwife29 Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 I dont know what to do the best i could come up with is to try to give him everything he wants and wait till he comes around? and if not , go form there. i'm not sure if this is the answer i mean i dont know how to handle simple things like how he didnt say i love you i feel like calling him back and asking whats up, or should i just keep saying it. and wait till he gets out of the funk hes in righ tnow. i just dont know what the right thing to do is Link to post Share on other sites
The _Analyzer Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 Yes I think you should care about wheather he says he loves you or not. He is your husband he should feel that way about you. I really think that you're right, it is him, not you. The thing is though that without him getting any kind of help with whats going on, don't expect much of a change. It is spilling over into your relationship. I know alot of times when people have something going on in their lives they tend to either blame the other person or make them feel as if its their fault when its not, just to ease their consious. If he continues with the way he is acting maybe you should seperate again, at least until you all can get some counseling, since you said it would be in September. I'm sure you might not wont to do that again, but you need to ask yourself if his kind of behavior is worth staying with him. Best of luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
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