EmHope Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I broke up with my ex 2 months ago. Nothing was planned. It happened when we were in a big argument over some silly things and I got fed up so ended it. I felt out of love but it does not mean I do not care about this person. It wasn't an easy decision. We were together for 1.5 year and were friends before that. It's awkward to see each other as stranger and no talking for a total 2 months. I miss him as a friend. When to reach him again? I agree to leave him space but don't think a forever NC works on my case as no other boy/ girl involved no cheating it's solely because not matching with each other. Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Pretty much same for me and we tried the friends route but it nearly killed me. Being that close but not close enough was torture, until the day I said goodbye for good. As much as you think you can handle a friendship, the fact is you have to be honest and admit you still have feelings. If you think you haven't then consider how you'd feel if you met him, and his new girlfriend. If there's any hurt there then you are definitely not ready for friendship. Sorry, but it is for the best. You don't want my pain believe me. In time, maybe. There's been no cheating or anger so once you've both healed and moved on, then why not, but for now, until you have moved on 100%, you must stay away. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamila Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I would wait some more time. 2 months is not enough for a 1.5 year relationship. You have to reboot your system (to put it in computer terms). My former ex and I tried staying friends after a 2 y friendship + 2 y relationship. After 6 months I broke down on the phone and told him I couldn't take it anymore. The friendship was fake, there were feelings all over the place and I felt really bad. Even though if you mean it well, and you care a lot for the person, in my case, it didn't work. That's why I'm not having contact with my second ex, because I know how my system works. The friendship is not real, it's just some band aid for the lost love relationship. It's just sad ! If you guys didn't match it's an equally reason to not see each other. When the relationship doesn't work... It. Just. Doesn't. Work. Whatever the reasons, the result remains the same: a break-up. If the person asked you to leave them some space, give it to them and let them come to you. Like the poster said earlier, you could lose them as a friend if you push too hard. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 My ex had the nerve to ask if we can be friends. Sure, friend, I would love to see you fall in love with someone new and you can tell me all about it, pal-o-mine. Sure, ex, verbally abuse me and be extra sweet to your new g/f and I get to hear all about how much you love and adore her. We can talk about that over a casual dinner. See where I am going? Can anyone truly be friends with the person who dumped them? There are feelings that need to heal in order for that to happen. Years down the road, maybe,if your heart took a lot of stuff. If someone asks for space, give it to them. They will try to call you down the road==that is just to ensure they have someone in the wings crying over them. Conversely, if you are the dumper, it is selfish to expect the person you dumped to run to the phone after laying on the bed crying and singing to your picture. The dumped needs time, lots of time to get that out of their system. My ex said he cared for me==sorry, but; that ain't enough. I care for my dog, know what I mean? Can't break someone's heart and then put a bandaid over it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EmHope Posted March 24, 2012 Author Share Posted March 24, 2012 (edited) Guys you are right. I wasn't able to let go 100%. It will not be fair to both of us to resume contact and try to stay in a fake friendship. Dumper is not always the bad person. I felt as bad but it was in the year before the break up. I have been doing all the runnings to keep this relationship works. It was always me to do the apology (Im the girlfriend!!!) for sake of ending the fights. Perhaps I should give myself a break too. A friendship is just my wish. I don't want him hurting but I'm not the person to help him now. Edited March 24, 2012 by EmHope Link to post Share on other sites
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