Inlove and unsure

[Renee]

I'm going to tell my best friend that I love him.I have

 

a hunch that he may feel the same....here is what happened:

 

I told him that I loved and cared for him in a e-mail but

 

I made it all sound past tense.I was afraid to tell him it

 

was the way I felt now.How can I break it to him?I am going

 

to visit him tomorrow,I am going to surprise him by leaving

 

a gift for him at his apartment(while he's at class) with

 

a note that says to"Call me at this number because I miss

 

you and want to see you."Do you think that is cheesy or sweet? Thanks everyone.

[Tony T]

This is a real sensitive area but you seem confident he feels the same way.

 

I would just tell him something like you really care for him in a very special way and if in the future he felt like he would like to take the friendship to a higher level, you would be open to that. Then see what his reaction is. You will easily be able to go from there.

 

Yes, you could come right out and tell him straight away. Sometimes, it doesn't sink in real fast with men. They have to process that sort of thing. But I caution you, don't make it too easy for him. This has to be a gradual thing.

 

Being friends is one thing, lovers another. To keep romance going, you need to be mysterious, unpredictable, not nearly as available as you were when friends, etc. Yeppers, it is a game...but that's the way it is, babe.

 

Good luck with your new love. I do hope it works out well for both of you. I think the best way to fall in love is by knowing someone as a friend first. You are certainly starting out the right way.

[Deejette]

You might want to protect your pride by putting your thoughts out to him and letting him respond, in a gentle way. In other words, don't fling yourself with great emotion at him, because if he does not really feel the same way, it could hurt the friendship you already have.

 

But, on the other hand, if he does not feel the same way you do, then you may find it painful just to continue things on a friendship level, anyway.

 

I have found that letting the man do most of the love-talk initially has worked out better for me than when I have taken the love-talk lead.

This is a real sensitive area but you seem confident he feels the same way. I would just tell him something like you really care for him in a very special way and if in the future he felt like he would like to take the friendship to a higher level, you would be open to that. Then see what his reaction is. You will easily be able to go from there. Yes, you could come right out and tell him straight away. Sometimes, it doesn't sink in real fast with men. They have to process that sort of thing. But I caution you, don't make it too easy for him. This has to be a gradual thing.

 

Being friends is one thing, lovers another. To keep romance going, you need to be mysterious, unpredictable, not nearly as available as you were when friends, etc. Yeppers, it is a game...but that's the way it is, babe. Good luck with your new love. I do hope it works out well for both of you. I think the best way to fall in love is by knowing someone as a friend first. You are certainly starting out the right way.