jerryinva Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 My ex went down to the area where we both grew up this weekend...and joked about staying with an old male friend of her's...then got mad at me when I didn't seem happy...but 5 minutes before that she said me not wanting any other guys with her "was a good answer." This morning...she calls me, to tell me how happy she is, how she likes being down there with all her friends...and she said "although I do you have you and her fiance....." as an afterthought. She seemed like she might want to move there...I just feel like I slip further away...despite my efforts to back off. Link to post Share on other sites
lost_in_chgo Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 Sounds like she is screwing with you. Cut her off right now. Don't call her for any reason for a couple weeks at least. Don't return her calls for a few days if she calls. If she asks why, just say you've been busy. Don't answer any further questions about it, just say you were busy. Then tell her you have to go, because you have something to do, make something up if you have to. She's using you as a contingency plan. She has to be made to understand that you don't look at yourself that way. (don't try discussing this with her it wont help) Be polite when you talk to her, but be reserved and aloof. etc..etc..etc.. You need to break contact or she will continue doing this to you. When she is begging to see you and then to come back you'll realize that you have the upper hand here. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueLP Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 I agree, I think you really need to take the big step and break off contact. It is a major deal and decision, but it seems like this same pattern has been going on with you for a long time, and it's not going to get any better. It's been months of this, hasn't it? For your own piece of mind, you need to stop being tugged around in two different directions by her, and give yourself the clarity and closure you need. I don't think she's going to give it to you, whether it is on purpose or not. I also think she has come to learn by the way you respond to her that she can get away with this, and probably doesn't realize anymore how hard it is on you. Please, for you own well being, bite the bullet and make the closure yourself. It's going to hurt, but with all the hurt you've gone through already, I think you'll be surprised that the clouds will start lifting bit by bit for you. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Fancy Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 Why are you continuing to talk to her and let her manipulate you and upset you? This woman is playing you big time and enjoying every minute of it. She's getting off on watching you get jealous and pine away for her. You've got to stop this! She's gone on her merry way; now you go on yours. Stop answering the phone and move on in search of a respectful, mature woman. She's clearly not it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted June 14, 2004 Author Share Posted June 14, 2004 So,she got back from her little trip tonight. She waited until 12:45 a.m. to call me...which is fine, because I am still usually up by then...and I didnt get to the phone in time... (I hadn't seen your posts BTW.) So I called her back...and she scuttled off the phone as quickly as possible. I thought to myself now why in the f**k did she call me. Then it occurred to me. She must have been in one part of her house...and he was asleep somewhere in the house (I won't even go there) and when I called her back on her house number, it woke him up...so then she wanted to get off the phone. IT actually has pissed me off... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted June 14, 2004 Author Share Posted June 14, 2004 No word from her since her weird phone conversation last night... Link to post Share on other sites
BlueLP Posted June 14, 2004 Share Posted June 14, 2004 Jerry, to put things into perspective for a minute: you haven't heard from her since then? Well, it has only been 9 hours or so between that conversation and your post...hell, she's probably been sleeping that whole time. You're still hanging onto her every contact man, and you gotta get off of this cycle. It seems like every one on this board is coming to the same conclusion about your situation, and it is to forget about her and move on with you own interests and happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
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