RonChalant Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 So I've been in a rebound relationship for the past month and a half or so...at first wasn't to sure, but honestly I'm actually starting to really like her...aside from her random arguments I really do like her. The fact that it's a mutual feeling and that she likes me just as much or even more than I like her is refreshing. But she talks a lot about getting married and having kids. Like a lot a lot. Told me she's determined to het me to say I love you in the next 2 months lol and I dunno how to respond to stuff like this. I like her a lot, but I dunno if I can see myself with her forever...it's only been 2 months and talk like that makes me wonder. She's twice the woman my ex was, ambitious as hell...pre law major, but def comes on a bit strong with this stuff. Thoughts
TigerCub Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 So I've been in a rebound relationship for the past month and a half or so...at first wasn't to sure, but honestly I'm actually starting to really like her...aside from her random arguments I really do like her. The fact that it's a mutual feeling and that she likes me just as much or even more than I like her is refreshing. But she talks a lot about getting married and having kids. Like a lot a lot. Told me she's determined to het me to say I love you in the next 2 months lol and I dunno how to respond to stuff like this. I like her a lot, but I dunno if I can see myself with her forever...it's only been 2 months and talk like that makes me wonder. She's twice the woman my ex was, ambitious as hell...pre law major, but def comes on a bit strong with this stuff. Thoughts Yaowza!! With women like that, I think that often marriage is the goal and who they marry is rather irrelevant. How old is she? I'm wondering if she's in the young and idealistic stage or the older and the "clocksatickin" stage.
ditzchic Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Uhhh. Whenever I meet someone that comes on super strong like that in the beginning it always freaks me out a bit and I usually end up running. I don't know, to me it seems like they are desperate and grasping and don't even really care who I am or what I am about. They are just looking to nail something down as quick as possible. Like they don't like me for me. They like me for them. And while flattering, it definitely doesn't have the stuff long term is made of. Does that make sense? I don't know what to tell you to do. But if it's scaring you and make you second guess her, maybe you should bring it up to her? See where her head is at. And ask her what it is she likes so much about you. I find that when people are just blowing steam they stammer or give you a generic answer to that question. Or start spouting out all your "ideals" that really aren't you at all.
Author RonChalant Posted March 23, 2012 Author Posted March 23, 2012 She's 22...I'm 23 so we're both still babies more less lol. Just got out of a 7 year relationship so last thing I'm doing is rushing but she's seems full speed ahead. She admitted it had something to do with the fact that her parents were never married so subconsciously she feels that she has to get married and have the "perfect" life...but geez hun lol
RedRobin Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 She probably just wants to know if you believe in marriage... not necessarily with her... Just in the abstract. I don't know too many people who are interested in marriage with just anyone... but for those who DO want to be married someday... they aren't going to waste their time with people who have a negative view of it... or don't see themselves getting married anytime in the foreseeable future.
Author RonChalant Posted March 23, 2012 Author Posted March 23, 2012 She probably just wants to know if you believe in marriage... not necessarily with her... Just in the abstract. I don't know too many people who are interested in marriage with just anyone... but for those who DO want to be married someday... they aren't going to waste their time with people who have a negative view of it... or don't see themselves getting married anytime in the foreseeable future. She and I both agreed that relationships are more less marriage trials to see if things would work out and that there is no point being in a relationship if your not trying to see if one day you could get married...I believe in this too...but I don't think there is a time line...especially nit for falling in love. She asked me how long it took me to tell my ex I loved her and I said 3 months...her response was "we'll be at 3 months soon", to which I said nothing.
TigerCub Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 She's 22...I'm 23 so we're both still babies more less lol. Just got out of a 7 year relationship so last thing I'm doing is rushing but she's seems full speed ahead. She admitted it had something to do with the fact that her parents were never married so subconsciously she feels that she has to get married and have the "perfect" life...but geez hun lol yeah.... it is the idealistic phase - and kinda foolish too, if she thinks marriage will ever bring about the "perfect" life. When I was 22, I wanted to marry my bf, but looking back on it, it was solely for the sake of getting married, it wasn't really about him. I wanted to get married and have a fun wedding and get a kick ass ring, etc... Now...I'm so glad that never happened. After we broke up, I grew up, learned who I am, what I want, how to achieve things on my own. I had a lot of experiences with different people and I'm so glad that I didn't get married young and end up tying myself down to someone so quickly. Your girl is totally in that idealistic phase (much like the one I was in), its really not about spending forever with you, its just about achieving the goal of getting married. Watch out.
Feelsgoodman Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 So I've been in a rebound relationship for the past month and a half or so...at first wasn't to sure, but honestly I'm actually starting to really like her...aside from her random arguments I really do like her. The fact that it's a mutual feeling and that she likes me just as much or even more than I like her is refreshing. But she talks a lot about getting married and having kids. Like a lot a lot. Told me she's determined to het me to say I love you in the next 2 months lol and I dunno how to respond to stuff like this. I like her a lot, but I dunno if I can see myself with her forever...it's only been 2 months and talk like that makes me wonder. She's twice the woman my ex was, ambitious as hell...pre law major, but def comes on a bit strong with this stuff. Thoughts Hate to say this, but too much too soon = bad news. Pre-law major? Does that mean that she actually wants to go to law school and become a lawyer? How does that jive with wanting to have kids soon? Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants and is a bit of a psycho with her over the top marriage talk.
Star Gazer Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Hate to say this, but too much too soon = bad news. Pre-law major? Does that mean that she actually wants to go to law school and become a lawyer? How does that jive with wanting to have kids soon? Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants and is a bit of a psycho with her over the top marriage talk. Newsflash: Working women, including attorneys, have babies every day.
Author RonChalant Posted March 23, 2012 Author Posted March 23, 2012 That's how I feel tiger cub...like I said I JUST got out of a 7 year ltr 4 months ago and really this just isn't something I want to hear right lol. Like I said I like her a lot, she's awesome and everything my ex wasn't...but it's only been 2 months and honestly as much as it contradicts what I already said, I don't see myself being with her for more than a year...we are both way to strong willed and as soon as the honeymoon phase is completely over...we are going to ARGUE ARGUE ARGUE all the time. I see this, she doesn't.
Mantis Toboggan Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 She's 22...I'm 23 so we're both still babies more less lol. Just got out of a 7 year relationship so last thing I'm doing is rushing but she's seems full speed ahead. She admitted it had something to do with the fact that her parents were never married so subconsciously she feels that she has to get married and have the "perfect" life...but geez hun lol You might be a baby, but you're smart enough to know it. That puts you miles ahead of the pack. But yes, women like this scare me. Because it feels like, as someone said earlier, that marriage is the goal. And YOU as a mate are just a vehicle to reach that goal. Especially so early in the relationship. I could imagine that you're not the first boyfriend of hers to feel this way, and hear these things.
cutecatch Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 So I've been in a rebound relationship for the past month and a half or so...at first wasn't to sure, but honestly I'm actually starting to really like her...aside from her random arguments I really do like her. The fact that it's a mutual feeling and that she likes me just as much or even more than I like her is refreshing. But she talks a lot about getting married and having kids. Like a lot a lot. Told me she's determined to het me to say I love you in the next 2 months lol and I dunno how to respond to stuff like this. I like her a lot, but I dunno if I can see myself with her forever...it's only been 2 months and talk like that makes me wonder. She's twice the woman my ex was, ambitious as hell...pre law major, but def comes on a bit strong with this stuff. Thoughts Run bro, she is aching for kids and the picket white fence. It does not matter how much she says she is into her career, she will get pregnant with your and you will feel trapped.
Author RonChalant Posted March 23, 2012 Author Posted March 23, 2012 Hate to say this, but too much too soon = bad news. Pre-law major? Does that mean that she actually wants to go to law school and become a lawyer? How does that jive with wanting to have kids soon? Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants and is a bit of a psycho with her over the top marriage talk. She's already said she want to wait for kids but if that were to happen she would go ahead and have them...
Feelsgoodman Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Newsflash: Working women, including attorneys, have babies every day. Not while they are trying to get through law school Most female lawyers have kids several years after graduating from law school/getting a job. I've never heard of anyone having kids while still in law school.
Author RonChalant Posted March 23, 2012 Author Posted March 23, 2012 Run bro, she is aching for kids and the picket white fence. It does not matter how much she says she is into her career, she will get pregnant with your and you will feel trapped. I've had that exact though, that's she going to get pregnant and trap me
Feelsgoodman Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 I've had that exact though, that's she going to get pregnant and trap me ...and then extort you for child support for 18 years. She may only be 'pre-law', but I'm sure she knows how the legal system works.
TigerCub Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 That's how I feel tiger cub...like I said I JUST got out of a 7 year ltr 4 months ago and really this just isn't something I want to hear right lol. Like I said I like her a lot, she's awesome and everything my ex wasn't...but it's only been 2 months and honestly as much as it contradicts what I already said, I don't see myself being with her for more than a year...we are both way to strong willed and as soon as the honeymoon phase is completely over...we are going to ARGUE ARGUE ARGUE all the time. I see this, she doesn't. At least you're smart enough to see things for what they are. 2 things: - You mentioned how this girl asked you when you said "I love you" to your ex - and now is kinda expecting it to happen at the 3 month mark for her too - lesson to learn here: Don't talk about exs and past experience with current girl. Even if she asks, just tell her that the past is in the past and it doesn't matter. - You also just made a comment about being afraid that she's accidentally get pregnant on purpose and trap you - that's in your control too, so wrap it up buddy boy (that should help at least)
cutecatch Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 I've had that exact though, that's she going to get pregnant and trap me I work in an investmeng banking firm and I come across really well off guys and I have seen it happen bro. As for the chicks, they might come of as their career matters but it doesnt. They are just looking for a successful guy to hitch on to and trap him. My advice is to be safe, don't knock her up. If she gets pregnant get a DNA test.
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