mach3 Posted June 13, 2004 Share Posted June 13, 2004 Just wondering if I can get some advice. See this thread for background: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t40490/ What I want to know is - can anyone recommend or point me in the right direction to: - bring this topic up with my GF and help her recognize it. - understand why she behanves this way. Long story short - she seems to constantly seek approval from others (specifically guys). I feel this stems from not knowing her biological father. Any advice or direction appreciated. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted June 17, 2004 Share Posted June 17, 2004 It's called respect. Even if she was abandoned by her father, she has to realize this can't be an excuse for what she is doing. I don't see anything wrong with having male 'friends', but I know men just as well as you do. If they think they have a chance at something, they will pursue it. But it also takes trust. You say you fully trust her, which I don't think you do. I would be the same way though, it's hard to trust when guys are calling, when she is still in contact with her ex. Stand firm on your beliefs. If you two really want to work things out & are serious, then marriage counciling would be best. As for the advice, I would have a heart to heart talk with her & be direct. Tell her that this contact is making you feel very uncomfortable and that it's not an issue about trust. It's an issue about her respecting & loving you enough to stop this. Ask her if she has closure on her ex. As long as they have contact, he is not allowing her to totally love you like she should be. The reason why she behaves this way, is only for her to determine. That's why I suggest a councilor. They are trained to get to the root of the issues and deal with them. Both of you would be surprised what you learn by going to one. Link to post Share on other sites
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