DJ Posted October 2, 2000 Share Posted October 2, 2000 I think I have a serious masturbation addition problem. I am a woman in my 20s and I do this almost every day. I know there's nothing wrong doing it once a day but I finish my evenings in front of the computer looking at naked men on adult sites and do this until I feel like I'm going to faint. Every day I say it will be the last time but I still find an excuse to do then pretend I won't finish, but I always end up finishing. When I wake up the next day sometimes I have a headache or feel heavy in my head because of the pressure of doing this so much the day before. this ruins the whole energy of my day and makes me tired. The few times when I have lasted over 2 weeks without doing this I feel great and full of energy and self esteem, then I treat myself on occasion, but that doesn't really count. Its this obsessive compulsive almost like a robot that can't stop the program kind of masturbation that worries me. I know this is a really serious problem no matter what you say that its normal and okay. It is normal in moderation but at my age there has to be something wrong. how can I control myself to stop doing this to myself? I am too embarassed to talk to anyone about this and don't have the money to see a counsellor. Can somebody please help me? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted October 2, 2000 Share Posted October 2, 2000 I know you are not wanting to be OK with this, although the problem isn't terrible. You feel much better when you do not masturbate and you would like skills for diminishing the frequency of those encounters. First, let me tell you that it is NOT normal to prefer masturbation over intercourse. If you don't have a guy, find an booty buddy, a guy friend, etc. with the clear understanding that it is for the purpose of sex. If you have a boyfriend, then you need to explore why you prefer this type of outlet. Masturbation is really meant for those times when a partner is not available. Block these adult sites from your computer or find sites that contain other interesting subject matter. It might help you to know that many of the guys you see at these sites are gay, married, or perverted in some way. The photos are often doctored up. I know this for a fact because I have two friends who own multiple sites. You are going to need a lot of help staying away from these sites but you can do it. Avoid magazines, newspapers, and other materials containing pictures that may arouse you. When I was a teenager, I went through that big time. I was aroused by the Coppertone girl on the billboards as we were passing in the family car. It's really rough. Yes, you do have an addiction and are out of control at this point. Go to the links page of this website. Click onto Sexual Addiction in the addiction category. You will find several organizations that can help with sexual compulsivity and addiction. These organizations are free and deal with this type of problem every day. Contact them. They can send you literature to help you. Additionally, they can put you in touch with support groups in your area that can provide you with help free of charge and you will also learn that there are many people with your same problem. Probably the greatest percentage never seek help...or ever recognize they have a problem. You are correct that masturbation can take a great amount of energy away. Research has found that those who masturbate very frequently develop tachycardia (rapid beating of the heart) over time and must receive medication to slow the rate. This constant rapid beating of the heart is one thing that causes the fatigue. The other is internal guilt, which is totally unnecessary, but often found subconsciously in those who masturbate frequently. This guilt, even though you may not be aware of it, can wear you down physically. Getting into a VERY vigorous exercise program at a gymnasium can go a long way to helping you diffuse a lot of that sexual energy. Go every day, or at least every other day, AND DON'T LOOK AT THE GUYS WORKING OUT. If you can find an all female gym, that would be best. Or go on days when only women are allowed. Work out with all your heart. Your energy level will INCREASE and your desire for masturbation will decrease. Visualization can also be of some help. When you get thoughts that you want to masturbate, put a stop sign in your mind. Think of something repulsive that will completely take away your sexual appetite. Since sex happens only in the mind anyway, replace the thoughts of sexy men with thoughts of piles of manure or something else you consider totally disgusting. The urge for sex will go rapidly. You don't want to rid yourself of your natural desire for sex with a man, though. You just want to significantly reduce the normal practice of masturbation. Incidentally, while the average frequency for a unmarried woman in her 20s to masturbate is one to two times a week, it can vary from a number of times a day to not at all. But the rule is that if doing so affects your energy level, self esteem, and psychological outlook, you do have a problem. I hope these suggestions as well as those from the organizations you will find on the links page will help you with this problem. Once you have read the information on the links page, turn off your computer and don't visit these naked men web sites anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted October 2, 2000 Share Posted October 2, 2000 If for some reason you think you may be doing this to avoid a real sexual encounter, seek therapy. The organizations you will find on the links page may be able to find free counselling for your. If you are doing this to avoid relationships with men entirely, you may want to explore why you have this fear or seek help in discovered other sexual issues you may have. There is always help for those who cannot afford it. In addition to those organizations, often local universities with a psychology department offer therapy on a basis of ability to pay. I know you will act on this quickly. If you need more suggestions or direction, post again. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted October 2, 2000 Share Posted October 2, 2000 I went to the links page. Under addiction and recovery, I found this organization that lists compulsive masturbation as one of the symptoms of sexual addiction. I am pasting the link below just in case you have a problem find it. I think this will be one of the places you can get the help you seek. Please still go to the links for other information. But if you have any problem at all, copy and paste the address below into your browser: http://www.ncsac.org/ Link to post Share on other sites
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