I need to gain weight...but I don't really want to

[Thinkalot]

This isn't a big problem, let me say upfront...I'd just like to know if others have been in the same boat.

 

A few years back I suffered from an eating disorder...not anorexia ...but I obsessively counted calories, and controlled what I ate, and exercised a lot...to the point where that obsession controlled me, and impacted on my life (I felt anxious if I ate out, because I couldn't control the food).

 

I overcame it when I first started seeing my fiance...through counselling, support from him and my family.

 

I was never super super skinny...but I was told by many back then, that I looked too thin.

 

Once I started eating normally, I gained some weight back, and stabilised at a weight more healthy for me. I still am very active with different sports, so I've remained quite slim.

 

In the past months...I've dropped some weight. It was not intentional by any means. Perhaps I just was busy...or doing more than usual, and eating less as a result.

 

Now, once again people are commenting that I've lost a lot of weight. A couple of people have even asked my mum if I've been unwell. (I'm a TV journo...and people see me reporting during the nightly news). My fiance's work colleagues have mentioned it to him too. He's also noticed and said I need to put some weight back on.

 

Thing is...while I'm certainly not obsessed with what I eat...and I'm not trying to lose weight...I'm kinda reluctant to try and put it back on...after so many years when I was conditioned, and conditioned myself, to believe that skinny is good. I mean, I thought that from the time I was a teenager, growing up in an image conscious beach suburb.

 

So, now it's time to listen to those around me...ignore the old skinny is good voice in my head which has resurfaced...and get drinking those malted milkshakes!!! I just wondered if anyone else could relate?

[babydoll]

I certainly can relate, my family says that stuff to me all the time. But, im not too skinny, in fact, I weigh 130lb at 5'8, but im lean with muscle and hold weight well. It drives me crazy when especially mom says that, because she is so obbsessed with starving herself all day to lose a little tiny belly. I never go by a scale, muscle weigh more the fat, and i usually measure myself with a tape once every couple month.

 

You dont say what you weigh or anything, but its important to relize that if in fact you are to "skinny" It likely caused by your metabolism, your active, and some people just cant keep alot of weight on. Secondly, you should rule out any medical conditions that may be keeping you at your current weight.

 

I dont think drinking the malts is the way to go, after all im sure you still want to feel good and be healthy. Everybody loves to have a treat , and certainly you should, but really anything done excessively is probably not good. If you want to gain weight add a couple more small healthy meals a day. Personally , I eat about 5 times a day, mine you it isnt always healthy, but if I eat unhealthy I feel sluggish and tired.

 

Dont be afraid to put a little weight on, be what is comfortable for you. If you feel you may be slipping back into a problem, go right away and talk with your counsellor.

 

Good luck

[Samson]

I need to gain weight...but I don't really want to

 

This isn't a big problem, let me say upfront...[quote]

 

Well there's an understatement.

 

Thinkalot, you need to change your name to Obsessalot. How can anyone constantly think about so many things AND SEX TOYS, at once!?!?

 

Why don't you become a lady bodybuilder. Then you could obsessalot about muscel mass, nutrition, etc., etc.

[moimeme]

when I was conditioned, and conditioned myself, to believe that skinny is good.

 

'Skinny' is NOT good. It is decidedly unpleasant to look at. Excessive thinness looks like disease and impending death. I was watching a ballroom competition last evening and one of the young ladies was noticeably thinner than the others. You could see her ribs. Not even slightly nice to look at. If people are seeing you on TV and thinking you're too thin, you definitely are. It certainly isn't sexy to look like a skelton with a film of skin over. At all.

 

This is an unscientific observation, but it seems to me that women who are too thin show it most in the upper arm. If you can circle the middle portion of your upper arm entirely with your own fingers, you are WAY TOO THIN!!!! No matter what your brain may be telling you, (and apparently somehow the perceptions of people change so that they can't actually see that boniness is not nice-looking), if everybody else says you don't look good, then pay attention.

 

The other issue is that you really ought to see a physician. If you haven't consciously been trying to lose weight, sudden weight loss can be a symptom of diseases like diabetes or thyroid conditions.

 

So first see your doc and then get from your doc the weight range you should remain within. Then, tell your brain that it may not switch obsessions from the fiance to the weight, ignore what it says, and go by the doctor's advice.

[reasontosigh]

If I recall correctly, you've got quite a bit to keep you busy of late - what with making plans and all that on top of your usual routines. Could all that be causing a bit of underlying stress that you may not have noticed yet?

 

This sort of thing has happened to me before. When I drop a lot of weight like that, there's usually some extreme stress behind it. Once I realize it and allow the "stress sub" to come to the surface, the battle to recover the missing poundage is already half won!

 

Just a thought....

[reasontosigh]

I just remembered that saying "You can never be too rich or too thin". Oh yeah, you sure can be too thin, and it definitely is not good.

 

Now....if only I could get a chance to put the "too rich" part to the test!!!!!

[Thinkalot]

Mmmm....thanks for all the food for thought (pardon the pun).

 

moi- I've been told before I have a slightly overactive (or was it under?) thyroid...and to just keep a check on my weight ...I actually had not even thought of that!

 

For those who want to know...if it helps make a judgement call...I'm quite athletic, with some muscle on my arms and shoulders and so on... I am only about 5 foot 2 (and a bit!)....and currently weigh about 50kg. I definately cannot get my hand around my upper arm!

 

I think I apparently look healthier when I weigh about 53kg. (sorry to those who think in pounds......I think it's 2.2 pounds to a kg) And yes, people who see me on TV have noticed and commented to my mum.

 

Reason....I do agree I have been busier than usual...and that could be causing me to run around more than usual. I've also taken back up a type of modern dance I used to do, which is quite demanding.

 

I think my best bet is to go to the doc for a check up. I'm about to switch GPs anyway...cos I'm not satisfied with the treatment I've been getting from my current doc, especially in relation to the OCD. So I can cover it all in one hit, with a new lady doc I've decided to see. As for switching obsessions..... I bloody hope not!

 

Samson- I have been through a phase of obsessively exercising and working out with weights!! Not good!

P.S. Why am I not surprised you noticed the sex toys thread?

[average guy]

Hi Thinkalot,

 

Working out with wights burns more calories than you think. You need to eat much more than usual to gain weight when you do wieghts

 

Also, it's probably just the stress of everything happening at the moment. When I'm stressed I eat nothing but crisps and chocolate milk and never gain a gram of wieght!

 

Good luck

 

A.G.

[Matilda]

I actually think that weight sounds okay for you if you're only 5'2". I know getting ready to have a wedding and get married is very stressful, in a happy sort of way. I lost weight without really meaning to, both times I got married. I wouldn't worry too much.

[Thinkalot]

Thanks Matilda. I'll just have a check up and make sure all's well anyway.

 

I think I look fine...but I can't ignore the voices around me telling me otherwise...even though that old part of me likes being slimmer than I usually am.

[Thinkalot]

mmmmm.... the cameraman I work with each day, who is also a good friend...just told me I look too thin. Then while we were out on a job, another old friend, said "there's nothing of you! boy have you lost weight!".

 

Ok...further signs it's time to pay attention.

[dudesomewhere]

you could always go by mantras and say, a super size meal a day or a buffet a week. though I'm not sure even if 1 super size everyday would kill you...maybe just 1 or 2 a week? hehe

[ryl_meeh]

Hi I've been reading those post in here about gaining weight.... well im one of them want to put some weight at least 20 pounds. There anybody here can give me some advice how to gain so fast. Right now i only weight 95 lbs. and my goal is reach the 120 lbs

[britty]

ok just to let everyone know, some people are naturally skinny and it seems like a lot of people on here dont relize that, just wanted to let some of you poeple no that becuase serriously when you see a really skinny girl don't just asume she is anorexic right away, ya a lot of people have asked me if i am anorexic and believe me i am far from it i eat like a normal person and everything, it is just that i am naturally tall and skinny and that is just the way i am. That is just like fat people some people are natually overweight and some really can't lose weight and they have a really hard time losing weight, unlike me i have a very hard time gaining weight becuase i am not meant to be overweight i am meant to be skinny and thats just the way i am and if you people cant deal with that concept then you can get lost.

 

last year i weiged 95 pounds and i was 14 and tall, i was constintly mad fun of and called anorexic and skinny, which im not. I have been trying very hard to gain weight and trust me i have struggled. This year i weigh 109 pounds and my coach and mom aren't too impressed. And it really bothers me becasue i weigh 109 and i am fairly tall, and 15. And my mom keeps on hinting to me that i eat too much, and oh my god i gained 14 pounds since last year, and it pisses me off becasue i am sooo far from being fat, i do ryhthmic gymnastics and i am still the skinniest one in my gym club, anyways i have to go now but i will finish my story later. bye