Mad idea.. right or wrong

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Hey! I know this is a long twisted story and please don't reply telling me I'm nuts thanks, I already know this. I just wonder how this guy *friend* would react to this;

 

A male friend and me have been talking more than we used to for the past .. months. It's almost an obsession.

We write emails or offline messages in the morning/day and chat day/evening/night because I like him and want to get closer to him/create a better atmosphere between us because I believe there is something special between us that could grow

(I've made it clear i think.)

He tells me I mean a lot to him and that he has feelings and so on. We have been close friends for a year soon. But, quite often we wind up arguing over small things..online. I get mad at him for telling me sweet and nice things cos he is seeing someone else and not me - I ask him why he does this but he just gets mad at me for reacting. So we're mad at eachother, then it will pass the next day and we thank eachother for "roaring" until next sweet thing pops out of our chats even though we've discussed sensorship a thousand times.

He has expressed some really terrible confusion regarding seeing me. One day he might say no way, I am seeing someone else.. then the next day - of course! Which isn't nice but I can understand.

 

It has occured to me that he might be open to me coming along, in a nice and accepting and understanding way.

So I'm working on it.. but this chatting and emailing isn't going so well with all this little arguing over missunderstandings and stuff (but we always wind up saying sorry sorry)

The goal is of course to meet IRL with all said and done.

 

I have been trying to get him to meet me. Though it would be so awkward that I haven't gone through with it (cancelled shame on me yeah..) he isn't the easiest person to talk to IRL, he's a bit shy and quiet, more than I am.. Also really tall. The last few times we met it was nice and we had fun, but it was awkward. We were single and I think he was a bit disappointed in me cos I didn't find him attractive enough THEN. Things change/I've changed - he doesn't believe me but I know that I've changed. We met up several times and I would not meet up with a dude one on one, several times if I found him butt-ugly. I don't know precisely how I feel about the attraction part since I haven't seen him in a year but I want to find out..

I have understood that if anything is going to happen I have to really do it myself and being confident in my moves.

 

He hates being unprepared for things but I would love to... show up at his door.

Not in a sexy - I'm going to throw myself at you way - but in a nice way. It's easter soon so I could bring an easter egg or something. I'm just dying to see him, to communicate face to face and he doesn't understand how much I need to do just that, to clear missunderstandings etc and put a fresh stamp on whatever it is we have between us.

I suppose I have to give a warning. I don't know how. I know when he is home and alone but how do I prepare him or should I just not prepare him? Sorry if I sound mental but I don't see any other possibilites for us to meet. Sure it might be awkward but I'm up for that.

 

If I pop up at his door he has to accept it and he shouldn't have to be so nervous since I'm the one who has gone thru the trouble of getting there (I suffer from some injuries lately which makes it pretty hard for me to walk at all some days and he lives in another city... He's been comforting me a lot. Keep reassuring me that I'm going to be fine soon..)

Maybe he will just hate me but I don't think so. He seems to want to get closer to me ? Oh I really am crazy right.

Also I do not want to stand there like a fool hearing my friend saying "what are you doing? you know I'm seeing someone else!!" Or something.. but I guess I gotta take that risk.

 

After sharing this long story I would really appreciate some feedback! Thanks

Edited March 24, 2012 by Similar

[crazylove]

If he's seeing someone else, then really you should stay away until such time as he is single. You want to see him because you want something more than friendship. How would you feel if you were going out with someone and some girl turned up on his doorstep wanting a relationship?

I certainly wouldn't be turning up unnannounced.

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yes thanks, I realized after writing this that this wouldn't work.. In fact we're not friends anymore either. I can't bare it.