so confused

[Elove]

I have been in a three year relationship with a certain guy that I have grown to love very dearly. He really has a communication problem , he does know how to talk to me or anyone else having a mean tone. I blame the way he was raised as a result of the way he is, however I do realize that he is a 25 year old man that really needs to grow up and change the things that he had know control of when he was younger. Recently about 4 months ago we broke off our engagement. I tried to go my own way and allow him to go his. I met someone that i had grown really close to, because he was more on my level--more mature, had a stable mind, treated me like a queen and ect.... well things didn't work out because i still care a great deal for my ex and everytime i saw him it would even get worse because he tells me how much he still loves me. To make a long story short I really wouldn't mind getting back with him, but it seems like he doesn't really understand the real reason we broke up and he is always throwing the guilt trip up in my face as if he really hasn't done much wrong. And when I catch him in lies and have proof in his face he still denies it . He also has a habit of always pleasing his daughter's mother for the sake of his daughter not realizing that it is hurting our relationship. please help me. there is so much more but not enough space and time.

[Deejette]

It sounds like there are a lot of problems here: He lies to you, communicates angrily, kowtows to his ex. Why do you love him? You had a man who treated you well, but you still crave this difficult guy.

 

It just shows that the lost lamb, or the black sheep, elicits more sympathy and emotion than the "good-guy." This bf is a challenge to you and thus fascinates you.

 

It sound like if you stick with him, you will have a life of frustration, lack of trust, and walking on eggshells so you won't set him off in anger. Maybe you want the insecurity that this man offers to you as opposed to a stable, loving realtionship with someone who knows how to show love, because you don't think you deserve a whole, secure love-match.

I have been in a three year relationship with a certain guy that I have grown to love very dearly. He really has a communication problem , he does know how to talk to me or anyone else having a mean tone. I blame the way he was raised as a result of the way he is, however I do realize that he is a 25 year old man that really needs to grow up and change the things that he had know control of when he was younger. Recently about 4 months ago we broke off our engagement. I tried to go my own way and allow him to go his. I met someone that i had grown really close to, because he was more on my level--more mature, had a stable mind, treated me like a queen and ect.... well things didn't work out because i still care a great deal for my ex and everytime i saw him it would even get worse because he tells me how much he still loves me. To make a long story short I really wouldn't mind getting back with him, but it seems like he doesn't really understand the real reason we broke up and he is always throwing the guilt trip up in my face as if he really hasn't done much wrong. And when I catch him in lies and have proof in his face he still denies it . He also has a habit of always pleasing his daughter's mother for the sake of his daughter not realizing that it is hurting our relationship. please help me. there is so much more but not enough space and time.