I slept with my bestfriend, now what?????

[CONFUSED0202]

I am married and have been for 10 years, my husband and I are only together because I dont want to lose my house and cant afford it without him. I have a friend that I have known for about 7 years. Last year he left his wife and since then all I can think about is him. He now has a GF and says he loves her. We tell each other everything. But what I havent told him is that I am in love with him. When he talks about his GF it crushes me inside. He knows why I am still living with my husband and all the circumstances.

 

I havent slept with my husband in over 6 months. I told him that I really needed to be with someone. This week we planned an afternoon and we slept together. He said that he always wanted me know that he would do anything for me. Even have sex because I needed him. But immediately after he starts talking about his GF and that he loves her but he is not sure that he wants to be with her, he also says he misses his ex.

 

I tried once around Christmas to tell him how I felt, but he said he didnt want to do anything to hurt our friendship. What do I do now, since we slept together i love him more than ever. Do I tell him? or do I continue being just his friend.

 

He knows everything about me. My husband is jealous of our friendship but I have told him that we are just friends. Well now it is more. I have never cheated on my husband before. I dont feel guilty, because in my heart my marriage is over and I dont love him anymore.

 

What do I do about my friend? I really dont think I could stand for him to reject me. I cannot totally walk away from him either because in our jobs I see him and do business with him about 3 times a week.

 

This is all eating at me so bad, I cant sleep, eat, etc. He is all I think about constantly. He is leaving tomorrow for a trip with his GF and it is killing me. I have been thinking about writing him a letter and giving it to him before he leaves, is this a bad idea.

[amerikajin]

He knows everything about me. My husband is jealous of our friendship but I have told him that we are just friends. Well now it is more. I have never cheated on my husband before. I dont feel guilty, because in my heart my marriage is over and I dont love him anymore.

 

In your heart, you've been more than just friends for a long, long time, haven't you? I'm not trying to give you a lecture, but adultery is what it is. I don't know much about your marriage so I can't say whether or not leaving your husband is the right or wrong thing to do, but I do think there is a right way and a wrong way to do it.

 

Meanwhile, your friend is still dating someone else. You're both engaging in a dishonest relationship, and more often than not, such relationships have difficulty getting off the ground. I won't say it can't happen, but the odds are against it. I think you should both take a step back and analyze yourselves and ask what you want from each other and go from there.