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feeling lost after affairs and wife wants divorce~


lostinme

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I can't quite understand why I've cheated and lied and hurt my wife badly. I know communication was a main problem as was sex. I miss my family and feel sooooo lost......

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BewitchedandBothered
I can't quite understand why I've cheated and lied and hurt my wife badly. I know communication was a main problem as was sex. I miss my family and feel sooooo lost......

 

First off; you are not a bad person; **** happens. If she is willing, try couples counseling. Something was asleep inside you and you turned to someone else to wake you up, in a way. But at the cost of hurting your wife. If the true and unconditional love is there, she will find a way to forgive you, but...you must cut all ties with the person with whom you had this affair, and focus all your energies on repairing this with your wife. Telling her you are sorry is one thing, but you have to show her you mean business.

 

Seems after a couple are together/have kids, the relationship takes on another plateau and gets into a boring phase, you are on autopilot and it sucks. Maybe this affair needed to happen to make you know what you could have lost and you now appreciate her. This awful feeling will pass, but you both need counseling for sure. Also, try to think back and remember what it was that made you and your wife connect in the first place. Start dating her again, if you have kids, get a sitter. And by all means, keep this mum; don't let other family members and friends know or you will be judged. You do not need that.

 

It will be okay; you have to want it badly enough. Time to start rebuilding.

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