Is he just killing time until something better comes along or does he really love me?

[kalari26267]

my bf and I broke up 3 wks. ago..we saw each other everyday after we broke up..things didn't change. it was like we were still together. I ended up going camping with him over memorial weekend..it was great! I finally got to meet all his friends and they totally adored me and vice versa. after we got back things were still good..so I asked him if he was still on the prowl or what? he then replied by asking me if I was on the prowl? I told him no that I didn't want anyone else but him..so he was like there ya go then..so we are now back together. things are going okay. when we were split up though he told me that he loved me with all his heart but that he wasn't "IN" love with me.. this concerned me. so the other night I asked him if he has just said it to try and end it with me or if he meant it? his reply was..." this is what I am gonna say...I love you. I love you very very much." that was his answer. he didn't say yeah he is in love with me and that concerns me. then I have made comments here and there to just test the waters to see what his intentions are...like I know your just killing time with me...he didn't deny it..he did wrap his arms around me and held me but didn't deny it..then I asked him why we don't have sex like we did before...which was pretty often...i said it is because your not attracted to me anymore? he didnt' deny it..he told me to "quit being a girl".

 

I love him and I am "IN" love with him and really want a future with him. I am just really afraid that he is just well like i said "killing time with me until something better comes along" ..anyone have any advice on how I can find out if he is actually in it for the future or just for the thrill of the moment...because asking him obviously isnt getting me anywhere.. should I act like I don't really give a crap anymore and suggest we start seeing other people to see if that makes him start to think about what he has and could lose...or would that just backfire to where I will lose him forever???

 

please help with some advice...because I don't want to endure another broken heart...thanks

[Curt]

It appears that your heart is already broken.

 

I'm not sure he is completely in love with you, and I'm not sure he isn't ...

 

But...

 

It sure sounds as if your mind is telling you something your heart does not necessarily want to hear.

 

I suppose the question comes down to this:

 

Do you want to continue with him, and continue feeling this way, or do you want to quit with him, and suffer that "broken heart" that will result.

 

Why live in emotional limbo?

 

Curt

[dlb311]

One thing I have learned from relationships and dating is that when a man or woman for that matter is wishy washy about you. GET OUT!!!! If they can't see that what they have is what they want then its time to move on. If they figure it out they will come back and profess their love to you.

 

I think that he isn't in love with you or he would be reasuring you. That he is and didn't mean that comment. Him putting his arms around you and not denying things you are asking him is his way of letting you know you are right but he is sorry. I think if you really want a future with this guy you have to be straight out with him.

 

Tell him I am in love with you are you in love with me...I need to know? and if he gives you the I love you very very very much crap say no that isn't what I am asking..I am asking are you IN love with me..and if he can't answer then he doesn't and he probably loves you very much but probably can't see himself with you forever.

 

But a relationship is only a good relationship and worth working at if you can be open and honest with each other. If you are scared to bring things up that is crap. Its your relationship you can talk about anything. YOu obviously don't want to hurt their feelings but when you have an issue you both should be willing to sit down and hear each other out and work on the issue. That is my advice...

 

Don't let him play with you or use you. He does love you..no question in that..but if you want to spend the rest of your living life with him then you need to find out now rather then later when you have invested time and feelings into something. You could have had a chance to find something better..or that is right for you.

Good luck