Shasta Posted June 14, 2004 Share Posted June 14, 2004 Well, I'll start with a little background information about me and move on to my post. I broke up with my ex in March. It was sort of on bad terms in the beginning, but we've worked things out and have been friends. I found one of my very old friends from when I was a kid that was working on a top fuel dragster team for the NHRA. We talked and stuff, and I went to see him in Vegas. We're kinda in a relationship, but not really. We haven't spoken about being boyfriend/girlfriend or anything, but I'm going to Sonoma to see him at the end of July. We talk on the phone a lot, and we both miss each other. He told me that he sleeps better at night when he talks with me. Well, since I don't know if he wants a relationship or not, I have been dating. I put an add on yahoo personals and have gotten quite a few responses. There is one guy that I was talking to for about two week, and when I invited him to go somewhere with me (just as friends) I think he got weirded out. He said that it was nothing personal against me, he just doesn't want to be in a relationship at the moment. I completely understood and told him that I was just looking to find a new friend. We wrote each other a couple more times, and then, he just stopped emailing me. I don't get it. I didn't think I said anything bad. I was mostly just asking him questions and trying to get to know him. He was the one in the first place that brought up something about me teaching him how to bowl sometime. There is another guy friend that I have been trying to just hang out with, but it isn't happening either. He tells me that we should keep in contact even when we stop taking classes together, etc etc, and then says he wants to hang out with me on the weekend, but doesn't call. Do guys like being chased?! I don't understand what is going on. I've gotten to the point where I'm just not going to try anymore. If they want me, they need to come to me. I guess it just shocked me, because I've never had this happen to me before. /sigh Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted June 14, 2004 Share Posted June 14, 2004 They have to come to you? You were out there looking as well. You subscribed to Yahoo! personals, no? Maybe you could try to ask people if they are interested in going out on a date or not, instead of useless guessing and wondering if everything is a "game". Try calling that guy and asking him to make definite plans with you first of all. He said he is interested in hanging out some time, and I believe that was an invitation which you have neglected to take. Phone him and ask him if he might like to get together and schedule something. You need to show an interest as well. People are not mind readers, and it should not be left up to these men completely to iniate something if you have an interest as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shasta Posted June 14, 2004 Author Share Posted June 14, 2004 Regarding your reply to mine, I left out some little things I should have explained, but forgot. When I tried asking people out, they either are skeptical about wanting to go out because they are not "ready" yet (but they subscribe to yahoo personals?), or I'm not their "type". Also about the other guy, I did call him on Wednesday of this week. I asked him what he was doing this week, and he said "I'm not sure yet. I have school and work, and I'm not sure when I will be working. I'll give you a call this weekend and we can get coffee or something." I take that as, he will call me, and I shouldn't call him because he could be working or something. I'm not going to be all up in his face and make him think I'm some psycho chick that calls because they won't call me. Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted June 14, 2004 Share Posted June 14, 2004 Originally posted by Shasta Regarding your reply to mine, I left out some little things I should have explained, but forgot. When I tried asking people out, they either are skeptical about wanting to go out because they are not "ready" yet (but they subscribe to yahoo personals?), or I'm not their "type". At least you are getting honest responses from them about how they feel. It's good to be blunt about asking people to do something, so I don't have any other advice. Hopefully you will meet someone who is going to use the service for what it is intended for Also about the other guy, I did call him on Wednesday of this week. I asked him what he was doing this week, and he said "I'm not sure yet. I have school and work, and I'm not sure when I will be working. I'll give you a call this weekend and we can get coffee or something." I take that as, he will call me, and I shouldn't call him because he could be working or something. I'm not going to be all up in his face and make him think I'm some psycho chick that calls because they won't call me. Be sure to get definite answers from him if you ask him again. I would say if he does not contact you by this weekend phone him again, and make definite plans. You want to go out somewhere with him, and you don't deserve to get an "I don't know". He can find out when he has school and work and schedule around it. I wouldn't leave myself open for a "I'll get back to you", as I have my own life as well and don't want to be stuck waiting around for anyone. The next time you speak with him get specifics, set a specific date, time, and location. If he tries the "I don't know what I am doing" excuse in as so far as work and school is concerned, he can call up and check his schedules easily. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shasta Posted June 14, 2004 Author Share Posted June 14, 2004 Thanks faux! I will call him a little later on in the week and ask if he wants to make definite plans to do something on Friday or Saturday. I guess he boggled me the most, because we had been really good friends when we went to school together. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shasta Posted June 15, 2004 Author Share Posted June 15, 2004 Just wanted to give you guys an update. He called me today at around 5pm. He asked me out for coffee on Wednesday at 6pm, and I said yes. I'm happy that he finally called me. I didn't ask him why he didn't call me, because we are not in a relationship, and the stuff he does is his business not mine. I'm just excited. I haven't seen him in about two months. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shasta Posted June 18, 2004 Author Share Posted June 18, 2004 So he called me today and we made definate plans for lunch on Saturday! Link to post Share on other sites
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