How to stop thinking about women

[PhillyDude]

So your issues is that women just don't turn into a pcoket pussy on demand but are human beings you may have to get to know and they would most likely want attract in order to have the sex you want?

 

There are prostitutes in legal areas no having to get to know them just pay.

 

I guess what makes it nauseating is the FAKENESS and SCRIPTED CONVERSATION. It's not natural conversation and we both are trying to paint a picture that shows our life is just PEACHY and NO ISSUES

[udolipixie]

I guess what makes it nauseating is the FAKENESS and SCRIPTED CONVERSATION. It's not natural conversation and we both are trying to paint a picture that shows our life is just PEACHY and NO ISSUES

Seems it's more of an issue of getting tired of trying to get to know the women you're attracted to or attracting rather than tired of trying to get to know women.

[Dust]

What do you mean by flipping a switch in your mind, and how did you do it?

 

Well you just do it. You say you're going to do something to yourself and then do what it takes to do it. Flipping the switch was the mental image and as close to telling you how to do it as I can.

 

What does being a man who can naturally get a woman mean to you?...

 

To me it means a man confident in his ability to form romantic relationships with girls they like. Doesn't mean they get a lot of girls or have a long list of sex partners. Just means when they need a girl they are confident they can get one and do. As compared to the large number of guys who always seem worried and mystified by how to get women as if just asking girls out is that complicated.

 

...Plenty of men seem to fail on that part and it tends to be due to a logic of:

I'm a man so women are obligated to be with me

Taking women are less visual to be women are blind

Women should be attracted to how I treat them so the women I find attractive who fit my standards are shallow/silly/superficial for not overlooking their standards for qualities I think outweigh them..even though I wouldn't overlook my standards for those qualities

 

I don't believe women are obligated to be with me. I do feel like it's a two way street. We're social people and we enjoy eachothers company. A lot of these guys start looking at it as a one way street one way or another. Yes a lot of these men are out of touch with reality. Though I find this view of women should just like me womanly. It's very passive. As opposed to agressive as a man should aproach it.

 

Egh to me asking women out isn't automatically aggressive.

 

How you ask women out can be aggressive.

 

I don't mean aggressive as anything more then taking the active role in talking to and asking out women. Making the first moves.

 

As opposed to how women for the most part are passive and wait for clear signs a guy likeds them before chasing. I mean both genders need to chase eachother but the man needs to chase first usualy. It's a bad plan to passively wait for interest from women if you're a man.

 

I highly doubt this with the porn sales and by my experience of how many men are quick to bemoan their sexual needs.

 

Porn might be to blame for the unhappyness of peopl like the OP. I mean if he's putting all his sexual energy into porn it will only further make him horny. It will also make him horny for porn not the real thing. So he's making himself more needy for something less satisfying while at the same time killing his desire for action with the real thing.

 

I think it's more of a fear of rejection and getting a blow to the ego as women can say no not being behaving more like women and out of touch with being horny.

 

Oh I agree people like the OP are very afraid. They say things like "I can't talk to that girl I have no IN" as if they can't make there own in. They also say things like "how do I know she likes me and will say yes" as if it has to be a sure thing and rolling the dice of chance will do them any harm. Dating should be fun after all its pretty exciting. If you have an overblown ego about being rejected you'll miss out. Thing is women have an ego over this same issue. Women would benefit from asking men out not that I expect them to other then the rare girl who slips you their number after introducing themselves... or the rarest girl who introduces herself then asks you out on a date... for the most part women can't handle going up to a strange man and being told "no" after totaly putting themselves on the line. Thats why I find it womanly for men to have the same fear. No logic to it.

 

 

The reality to me is that people are very dependent on the government' date=' police, and the army for survival and protection. [/quote']

 

I see this reality to and its a sad false one. Thing is all these things are completely dependent on men. I seriously could not imagine a government and police force majority women being able to uphold the common order. Thats why I'd be really happy if suddenly only women police existed for example haha.

 

Do cite these laws where women have more rights then men? Or am I likely to get some MRA juice?

 

I'm not going to cite any laws because I just come here for fun not to write research papers. What I will say is women get treated as both minorities and children. For example women in the work place have many more causes of action because of this minority/child like treatment by the law when compared with a male white co worker. Also because of our bodies women have far more rights when it comes to children. Just things like that. Things like because of womens child like weakness when compared to men also effects many things such as they get to act scared and treat all strange men like potential criminals. I think these things weigh heavily on the weaker more womanly men holding them back in their heads. Always afraid of creeping out scaring women. Always wanting to baby women in the wrong way. They have everything to lose by being swept up in it.

 

Very good post! Does it really matter that if you have the bad attitude "I won't ever find a girlfriend" it can actually prevent you from getting that GF?

 

Thanks haha we should write a book and go around giving talks.

 

For myself I actively try to get rid of negative attitudes attached to things I want/need in my life because it can only hurt you. Not to mention getting a gf isn't actualy what he needs. Believing in himself is. Life is a journey not a destination. Always tell yourself that. Obviously a journey involves getting somewhere. But thats not the point is it? I mean the point of life isn't to die, but thats where we are all headed. The point is to live. The point of getting a gf isn't to just say "I have a gf!" Although that is fun, the fun is also in getting the gf, getting to know her etc. Can't just stress about it all.

[udolipixie]

I see this reality to and its a sad false one.

It's false to you.

 

The reality to me is that people are dependent on the government, police, and the army for survival and protection.

 

Women don't depend on men for survival women and men depend on specific wo/men for survival those qo/men being those ones in the government, police, and the army.

 

It;'s a reality to me because I don't see, have seen, experienced, or hear d of the general population of men protecting women. It generally and commonly tends to be specific men whose duties are to protect the country and it's citizens.

 

Thing is all these things are completely dependent on men. I seriously could not imagine a government and police force majority women being able to uphold the common order. Thats why I'd be really happy if suddenly only women police existed for example haha.

Whether you can see image women in those positions or not.

 

Women don't depend on the general population of men for survival. Women and men depend on the government, police, and army. Secondary is self defenses with fighting skills and weapons.

 

Seems you're forgetting that plociewomen can also carry guns and tazers.

 

I'm not going to cite any laws because I just come here for fun not to write research papers.

Always amusing how often I ask guys who claim women have more rights than men yet none can answer.

 

What I will say is women get treated as both minorities and children.

That's a catch 22 to me. It's a right and less of a right at the same time.

 

Just as men are often treated as the superior ones. It's a right and less of a right at the same time.

 

For example women in the work place have many more causes of action because of this minority/child like treatment by the law when compared with a male white co worker.

You can state examples but no evidence of such. To me the only evidence would be affirmative action which isn't limited to only women and that's one cause of action not many more causes of action as you claim.

 

Also because of our bodies women have far more rights when it comes to children.

True in the cases of abortion. Quite unsure of what far more rights aside abortion there is.

 

Things like because of womens child like weakness when compared to men also effects many things such as they get to act scared and treat all strange men like potential criminals.

Egh anyone gets to act scared and treat anyone male or female as potential criminals within the confines of the law.

 

This get to act this way for women doesn't seem to go without consequences such as being hated, called feminazis, man haters, man hating lesbos, misandrists etc for such behavior.

 

Quite interestingly it seems that few question a guy/gal for thinking a stranger may be a potential robber but there tends to be huge uproar for a gal thinking a strange male may hurt her.

[ThaWholigan]

Maybe this is part of my empathy still growing and not quite being where I want it to be, but I don't quite understand why a heterosexual man would want to stop thinking about women. I love thinking about women, it brightens up my day . I've always loved thinking about them, even though I found it hard talking to them, and now I talk to them more and more, so too my admiration and love for women grows .

 

(I know, I'm a soppy bastard at times )

 

When I walk down the street (even today ), and I see people walking down the street, I always think "how can I brighten up that person's day", and this is especially true when I see women. Even of all ages, this is a weird phenomenon for me that I have yet to really act upon.

 

 

 

I don't have much advice OP, I am in the same boat, but I would say to take it easy and relax, go for your other pursuits and learn to enjoy them. And enjoy the process of meeting women and talking to them. That's the best advice I can possibly give.

[Dust]

It's false to you.

 

The reality to me is that people are dependent on the government, police, and the army for survival and protection.

 

I disagree but when I can tell you is you do have government, police and army with out women. These things can't exist with out men.

 

Women don't depend on men for survival women and men depend on specific wo/men for survival those qo/men being those ones in the government' date=' police, and the army. [/quote']

 

Well in a very real way you depend on us to protect you from other men who wouldn't be so civilized. Thats very real. A powerful man provides protection against other men less stable. You can't have an effective government, police force, or army with out men in the current reality we live in.

 

Seems you're forgetting that plociewomen can also carry guns and tazers.

 

I wouldn't want to mess with them but they hardly make up the police force or armies.

 

 

Always amusing how often I ask guys who claim women have more rights than men yet none can answer.

 

I gave you answers you don't cite to anything though. Laugh at yourself. Heres a specific instance I can cite to. Men have to sign up for selective service. This means if there is a draft only men will be forced to serve in the army. Also even though there is no draft we are foced to sign up under penalty of law for failing to do so. Women have no such obligation to sign up for the draft like men even to this day are foced too.

 

 

Just as men are often treated as the superior ones. It's a right and less of a right at the same time.

 

Men are superior in situations just as women in general are superior to men in certain areas. It doesn't make it right for the laws to pull the strong, to pull men down a peg. Many men have pulled themselves down a peg because of this societal view confused by the conversation and thats why they do bad with women. Because women still want real men no matter what they say.

 

You can state examples but no evidence of such. To me the only evidence would be affirmative action which isn't limited to only women and that's one cause of action not many more causes of action as you claim.

 

Affirmative action was one thing I was thinking of but so much more. Affirmative action has some very negative consequences. It really doesn't help any one out. If anything its hurt men/women relationships. Hurt relationships between whites and blacks. etc.

 

 

True in the cases of abortion. Quite unsure of what far more rights aside abortion there is.

 

You don't see that as a big deal? You don't see what that has to do with dating. You don't see the issues that follow that like being able to say "abort" or "give up" a baby you don't want or say keep a baby from a rich guy and collect child suport. I'm not saying it would be more fair another way its just the laws are creating situations and elevations that are unatural to say the least.

 

Quite interestingly it seems that few question a guy/gal for thinking a stranger may be a potential robber but there tends to be huge uproar for a gal thinking a strange male may hurt her.

 

A strange man might very well hurt a woman. The part that gets the weak man is the shaming that goes on. They feel they have to go out of their way not to scare or creep out women which is ridiculous and only to their own detriment. In the long run these men will probably end up scaring women more then a man who is less socialy awkward because he doesn't worry about such things. I say let the women worry about being attacked because I know I'm not going to attack them. I also have every right and a duty to be offended if some one treats me rudely.

[somedude81]

Nowhere did I sate, suggest, or imply that. Quite unsure what you got from your reading that you felt you had to state that.

 

I stated I doubt that wo/men in the past had more understanding of each other as it seems in the past people generally knew less about their evironment and themselves.

The way you worded things was so odd I was trying to figure out what you meant.

 

Only with the culture of now there is the internet and there are chances of a much wider social network.

The last thing the internet did was make communication easier. Facebook is not a suitable replacement for face-to-face interaction.

Those things happen in America as well.

No, they don't, which is why I brought it up. They certainly did not happen to myself or any guy I know. And I'm pretty sure it hasn't happened to any guy here who struggles with women.

 

Also, my father was useless in that situation. He didn't teach me anything about women. All my mom taught me was to be respectful and a gentleman.

 

So no or few attempts to try to learn about women yourself from family, friends, the internet, and books after high school or even during?

During high school, no as I was just really quiet and would rather hang out with my friends playing video games and watching anime.

 

A few years after HS, about 23, was when I stared to learn about pick up and other ways online to try and understand girls. I was forcing myself out of my comfort zone being more sociable and talking to girls whenever I could and for the next few years I was in my friendzone phase. I tried the bar and club scene but nothing ever came of it. And now that leaves me where I am today. Not really knowing what to do next.

 

I guess I'm hoping that I'll eventually get lucky if I keep trying.

 

Seems it's more of an issue of getting tired of trying to get to know the women you're attracted to or attracting rather than tired of trying to get to know women.

Getting to know a woman is easy and I really enjoy that part.

 

But it has never led to sex for me.

[Necris]

That's rather bizarre. I agree that women in programming classes are a bit more rare (careful about the "and they're all OLD and UNATTRACTIVE"... judging women based entirely on their looks/age is really not gonna get you any points), but of the anime clubs I've encountered, the majority has been female.

 

It may be geared towards the male student body, but female nerds have to be SOMEwhere. Have you actually attended either an anime or gaming club meeting? Have you attended several, particularly the ones with animes that are a little more "girly"?

 

May I ask what college you are at? Except for the really tech-driven campuses like MIT, most college campuses are majority female, and female nerds are growing more and more in number each year. What avenues have you tried exploring to find them?

 

Also, the reason I'm focusing on female nerds instead of, say, females, is because we tend to attract what we are. I'm not sure if you want a female nerd.... if you don't, then you need to cultivate other interests. Like attracts like, and if you're looking for more the Cheerleader or Sorority girl type, then you need to become what attracts those kinds of girls.

 

Have ya read any of Dr. Nerdlove? What did ya think?

 

When I say unattractive I mean someone I just feel in my eyes just really unattractive and I feel no physical attraction, like women who are severely obese, or something else is noticeably wrong with their appearance, average women however, I find them attractive. Though this is usually not very common, for me at least, I can walk into a random room and usually only about 1 or 2 girls I may find totally unattractive.

 

As for age besides not having a strong attraction towards older women I just think dating someone significantly older than you is a bad idea besides what older woman would want to date a significantly younger guy anyway plus they are usually married with kids. Speaking of age I had a nerdy roommate before and his girlfriend was in highschool while he is in his twenties I thought that was a bit odd.

 

Also yes, I love nerdy girls they are alot easier to talk to since we have some common ground which is important in a relationship plus they are generally a bit more friendly. Unfortunately they are rare in my experience to come across.

 

Also to answer someone else's question, yes, I have tried talking to women and I've even been on a few dates before I'm just completely terrible at talking to them almost to the point I feel socially retarded. I just can't seem to understand women at all. I also have trouble just simply speaking in general so that hurts my chances, flirting is alien, I'm not autistic or anything but really communicating with and understanding people is some seriously hard work. As for the very few dates I have been on they never went well like one time the girl never showed up and it was all just a joke or the worst the date I had with this girl in my class who was pretty nerdy herself, I posted the date in another thread on this site but yeah it went south so fast I didn't know what to do. The good thing about the experience it gives me an interesting story to talk about.

How it went:

We plan to go to restaurant, I pick her up at her home she is 40 minutes late (for me this is okay gives me time to calm down) when she finally comes out she is dressed very casual and I'm dressed in between casual and formal so I felt kinda silly for dressing up.

 

We talk about our studies and favorite comics and games on our way to the restaurant, she also compliments me on the cleanliness of my car which I thought was nice.

 

We arrive at the restaurant and everything is normal for some reason she decides to strike up an uncomfortable conversation about her man on man gay sex fantasies and keeps asking me repeatedly if I'm into that sort of thing I tell her no and that I don't really want to talk about stuff like that and she keeps going on and on speaking loud enough that the other patrons started turning their heads toward our table.

 

Eventually I managed to switch the conversation to favorite books and she starts talking about how she loves to read rape stories and yells the word rape for no reason during the date and goes on and on about the "fascinating" topic of rape, and she was incapable of whispering so people started to stare.

 

We managed to get off the topic of rape and somehow into history and she was arguing that America should have allied with Nazi Germany and supported them and their efforts, then she started talking about psychology and the world trade center disaster and how she thought it was wierd that anyone would care that a few thousand strangers died and how wierd it is for someone to show empathy for others.

 

I paid for our meals and on our way back (I wanted to leave her at the restaurant but that would be mean especially when its raining outside) the topic somehow switched to religion and she decided to spend the rest of the time bashing my church.

 

I noticed throughout the date she seemed to be enjoying herself but afterwards she never wanted to speak with me again, which was alright since after that experience I really do not want to go on a second date, that was annoying and embarassing.

 

As for Dr.Nerdlove I've found the website and I'll consider looking at it.

Don’t Date Geek Girls | Paging Dr. NerdLove

Edited March 27, 2012 by Necris

[Necris]

Hence why it's probably best suited to stop trying to figure out people so that you can get them to do what you want you can aka think women are like Rubik's cubes who turn into a pockey pussy when you do this & that.

 

Probably best suited to work on yourself and have that attract women.

 

But you have to try to figure out women if you can't understand them how would you know what attracts them?

[somedude81]

But you have to try to figure out women if you can't understand them how would you know what attracts them?

Exactly.

 

IMO, women are more complicated than they think they are.

[udolipixie]

I disagree but when I can tell you is you do have government, police and army with out women. These things can't exist with out men.

These things can exist without men.

I highly doubt that without men women wouldn't be able to form a government, police force, or army.

 

I think it's more of a these things can't effectively exist without men.

 

To me these things can effectively exist without men if there were no hetero men in the world.

I do highly doubt that a woman run government, police force, or army would last long or be effective with hetero men around.

 

Well in a very real way you depend on us to protect you from other men who wouldn't be so civilized.

No I depend on wo/men in the government, police force, and army.

 

Just as you do and other women and men do.

 

Secondary I depend on myself and weapons.

 

Just as you and other women and men do.

 

To me women in general depend on a social/legal structure for protection and survival against men in general.

 

Thats very real. A powerful man provides protection against other men less stable.You can't have an effective government, police force, or army with out men in the current reality we live in.

To me you can't have an effective force without men because of men.

 

Hence to me women don't depend on men for survival we depend on structures to protect us from men. Structures that have consequences for.

 

If these structures didn't exist, were weaker or allowed/encouraged mistreatment/harm it's highly unlikely to me that women would be depending on men for survival/protection rather than fighting against men.

 

What's very real is whether or not the offer of protection is there in the sense of government/police/army with men existing the threat is always there for women. Hence why generally with men's existence women would probably be best suited to to accept one guy's protection or else be prey for all the guys. After all the same guys who claim they're protecting women tend to never been interested in protecting women from themselves and the protection fee is servitude.

 

I wouldn't want to mess with them but they hardly make up the police force or armies.

I wasn't saying, suggesting, or implying they were. Quite unsure how you got women have weapons to equate women make up the polcie or army.

 

I gave you answers you don't cite to anything though. Laugh at yourself.

Why would I laugh at myself as I'm not claiming a definitive statement like you are?

 

I'm stating what I think, doubt, and have experienced.

 

You're stating definitively that women have more rights then men & have yet to cite it.

 

Something I find amusing as it's often common in men who claim women have mroe rights but can't back it up with evidence.

 

Heres a specific instance I can cite to. Men have to sign up for selective service. This means if there is a draft only men will be forced to serve in the army. Also even though there is no draft we are foced to sign up under penalty of law for failing to do so. Women have no such obligation to sign up for the draft like men even to this day are foced too.

Are you aware that several groups attempted to get women be mandated to sign up and the government reaction was women aren't biologically equipped for that? Bit odd to me as women seemed biological equipped to serve so why not selective service as well.

 

Later the stance was men's reaction to women being killed in battle. Pretty flimsy stances to me for refusing female selective service but I guess enough to deter the female mandated selective services as it seems most groups switched to having the draft disbanded for equality.

 

So 2 laws- abortion rights & the draft.

 

Both laws which have been tried to include women signing up, or disbanding the draft & men gaining more reproductive rights in abortion by humanist, pro-life, pro-choice, and feminist groups.

 

Men are superior in situations just as women in general are superior to men in certain areas. It doesn't make it right for the laws to pull the strong, to pull men down a peg.

Which laws and how do they pull men down a peg?

 

I see 2 laws- abortion & selective service.

Selective service I see as a citizen requirement not seeing how it pulls men down a peg.

Abortion I can see as pulling men down a peg as they have no to low right in whether their child lives or dies.

 

Many men have pulled themselves down a peg because of this societal view confused by the conversation and thats why they do bad with women. Because women still want real men no matter what they say.

What is a real man and a real woman to you? Is this limited to traditonal gender roles and heterosexual orientation?

 

Seems more like you're doing the whole "don't listen to what women say they don't know what they want they need a man to tell them" or "don't listen to what women say they don't know what they want they need to be told what they want".

 

Affirmative action was one thing I was thinking of but so much more. Affirmative action has some very negative consequences. It really doesn't help any one out. If anything its hurt men/women relationships. Hurt relationships between whites and blacks. etc.

Such as?

 

As I stated affirmative action wasn't just for women. In America despite the whole equal under the laws plenty of groups get more sway under certain circumstances, states, and/or laws.

 

You don't see that as a big deal? You don't see what that has to do with dating. You don't see the issues that follow that like being able to say "abort" or "give up" a baby you don't want or say keep a baby from a rich guy and collect child suport. I'm not saying it would be more fair another way its just the laws are creating situations and elevations that are unatural to say the least.

I stated true in the case of abortion and to me issues following abortion are the case of abortion.

 

In the long run these men will probably end up scaring women more then a man who is less socialy awkward because he doesn't worry about such things. I say let the women worry about being attacked because I know I'm not going to attack them. I also have every right and a duty to be offended if some one treats me rudely.

Egh I deal in legal rights so taking out the word right I agree though rudely is subjective.

 

Seems to many men anything that makes him feel rejected or hurts his ego and her not engaging him how he wants is being rude not just insults and not acknowledging his existence.

[udolipixie]

But you have to try to figure out women if you can't understand them how would you know what attracts them?

 

Generally people want an attractive, interesting, fun to be around partner who has a life they want to be a part of, and who they want to be a part of in their lives.

 

As people tend to vary in different tastes what's attractive/interesting/fun it's probably best suited to be the best you in those areas and those that like it will be attracted to you.

[udolipixie]

No, they don't, which is why I brought it up. They certainly did not happen to myself or any guy I know. And I'm pretty sure it hasn't happened to any guy here who struggles with women.

They do happen. To some it does, to some it doesn't but it does happen.

 

Different experiences. Hence to me why with the exception of scientific laws it's unreasonable to definitively state that something doesn't happen or that something happens to all/most without statistics/studies of all/most.

 

Just because they didn't happen to you and those you know doesn't mean it didn't happen with others.

 

Plenty of guys I know were talk about how to interact with gals by their fathers, uncles, and grandfathers. Some do well with women, some don't, and some do well without women while not wanting women.

 

Interestingly enough in my experiences guy who are attractive tend to do well with women whether or not their family was involved in their gender communication learning.

 

Also, my father was useless in that situation. He didn't teach me anything about women. All my mom taught me was to be respectful and a gentleman.

Did you ask your father to teach you?

 

Your mom taught you how to be a decent human being/person by her standards.

 

To me it's up to you to be attractive to others and attract a partner.

 

I guess I'm hoping that I'll eventually get lucky if I keep trying.

perhaps you could pick up some communication, public speaking, confidence/self- esteem classes.

 

Getting to know a woman is easy and I really enjoy that part.

Egh the part you quoted wasn't in response to you but another user. I even quoted the user when I was responding...?..

[Necris]

Generally people want an attractive, interesting, fun to be around partner who has a life they want to be a part of, and who they want to be a part of in their lives.

 

As people tend to vary in different tastes what's attractive/interesting/fun it's probably best suited to be the best you in those areas and those that like it will be attracted to you.

 

You still have to be able to understand women so you can attract them you need to be able to know what kind of person they are looking for so you can be that person. Even though people say be yourself that's not really totally true if yourself isn't attractive how is that going to help in any way.

[ThaWholigan]

You still have to be able to understand women so you can attract them you need to be able to know what kind of person they are looking for so you can be that person. Even though people say be yourself that's not really totally true if yourself isn't attractive how is that going to help in any way.

You can make yourself attractive by default. If you can manipulate your own reality towards living the life you want to live that you are happy with, you will automatically become more attractive, hence you won't have to "try" and understand women, you will find it easier to attract them automatically.

[Necris]

You can make yourself attractive by default. If you can manipulate your own reality towards living the life you want to live that you are happy with, you will automatically become more attractive, hence you won't have to "try" and understand women, you will find it easier to attract them automatically.

 

I'm not following with what you are saying but I think you are saying stop thinking about women (something I'm trying to do) and live the life I want, which for me would be becoming a wealthy genius with multiple prestigous degrees who has a job doing what he loves and gets to play videogames and other fun stuff whenever he pleases.

[ThaWholigan]

I'm not following with what you are saying but I think you are saying stop thinking about women (something I'm trying to do) and live the life I want, which for me would be becoming a wealthy genius with multiple prestigous degrees who has a job doing what he loves and gets to play videogames and other fun stuff whenever he pleases.

Not quite. Think about women all you want . But make sure that if you are going to do something, make sure that it's good for you and where you want to go in life. And make sure it's the kind of life that will ensure that you will be able to attract the kind of woman you would like to be with.

 

Understanding women will come as you interact with them more.

 

Having said that, my father only ever gave me one piece of advice about women:

 

"Son......women are to be loved...........and not to be understood".

 

To this day, it still tickles the ribs

[udolipixie]

You still have to be able to understand women so you can attract them you need to be able to know what kind of person they are looking for so you can be that person.

To me not really unless you're looking to attract a particular type of woman. Thus you'd have to know what that type of woman is interested in and become that to attract that type.

 

Women vary however generally women want someone attractive, interesting, fun to be around, who has a life they want to be a part of, and who they want to be a part of in their lives.

 

By being the best you in those factors most likely you'll attract a woman as those are the factors women generally want in a partner.

Whether you like what you attract is a toss up because women tend to vary in what they define as attractive, interesting, fun, etc.

 

Even though people say be yourself that's not really totally true if yourself isn't attractive how is that going to help in any way.

I wasn't saying be yourself.

 

I was saying be the best you.

 

Very different to me as people tend to take be yourself means no to low self-improvement or personal development.

[Necris]

Not quite. Think about women all you want . But make sure that if you are going to do something, make sure that it's good for you and where you want to go in life. And make sure it's the kind of life that will ensure that you will be able to attract the kind of woman you would like to be with.

 

Understanding women will come as you interact with them more.

 

Having said that, my father only ever gave me one piece of advice about women:

 

"Son......women are to be loved...........and not to be understood".

 

To this day, it still tickles the ribs

 

Ironically if I stop thinking about women or even having friends I'll probably be more successful as I'll be happy being alone and I won't care about trying to attract women I'd just be happy doing what I do. If I stopped caring no more worries right, that would be perfect.

 

As for parents giving advice my mom says just be yourself and a gentlemen and the right girl will come...eventually...one of these days. As for my dad his advice is a bit different which includes dress nice, shape your body so it can be more attractive (I have actually gotten into some weight training it has zero effect on attraction), hit on as many girls as possible (he claims he knew a guy that was very unattractive but hit on every girl he came across and eventually one girl wanted him), use the unattractive girls for more experience, always be confident (I find confidence is hard to achieve when you have failed every single time you have tried sort of like expecting a man who has never once in his life passed some test despite numerous tries to be confident on the 99th try), now some of his advice I don't agree with like using women for experience and such.

[verhrzn]

Ironically if I stop thinking about women or even having friends I'll probably be more successful as I'll be happy being alone and I won't care about trying to attract women I'd just be happy doing what I do. If I stopped caring no more worries right, that would be perfect.

 

As for parents giving advice my mom says just be yourself and a gentlemen and the right girl will come...eventually...one of these days. As for my dad his advice is a bit different which includes dress nice, shape your body so it can be more attractive (I have actually gotten into some weight training it has zero effect on attraction), hit on as many girls as possible (he claims he knew a guy that was very unattractive but hit on every girl he came across and eventually one girl wanted him), use the unattractive girls for more experience, always be confident (I find confidence is hard to achieve when you have failed every single time you have tried sort of like expecting a man who has never once in his life passed some test despite numerous tries to be confident on the 99th try), now some of his advice I don't agree with like using women for experience and such.

 

I'd echo everything your dad said EXCEPT using the unattractive girls for practice. Do. Not. Do. This.

 

Everything else seems like good advice you should try to follow.

[AD1980]

 

always be confident (I find confidence is hard to achieve when you have failed every single time you have tried sort of like expecting a man who has never once in his life passed some test despite numerous tries to be confident on the 99th try), .

 

Same here im 31 and never had a women attracted to me it would make no logical sense for me to have any blind confidence in this area when its obvious how bad iam at it..

 

Its easier for people with past sucess to have that mindset when they know women are atrtacted to them and have been..

 

When yove never had that its tougher to blindly believe it's true because of some fluff cliche about "confidence" people throw around on message boards that dont mean much

[Necris]

PEPSI sucks

 

oh okay then, that's nice.