do they ever change their minds and fall for you?

[The Blue Pill]

Women, that is.

 

I've known her for about 2 years perhaps. We've spent countless hours talking, joking around, consoling each other, etc.

 

She was part of the reason my ex and I broke up. I want her.

 

I would do anything for this girl. When she says jump, I jump. And I make her laugh SO hard, ALL the time. I'm a good guy. A good catch.

 

Problem is, she doesn't feel that way toward me.

 

She says she is incapable of reciprocating my feelings for her. I've been open and honest and blunt. She knows how I feel, fully.

 

Do women, in general, ever change their minds?

 

Is there a chance that she wakes up one day and realizes how good I am for her? That she can be happy with me?

 

She lives with me now...

 

It kills me to live with her and not be with her. To have her sit on the couch with me and watch a movie. To have to restrain every thought in my head about holding her, stroking her hair, rubbing her back.

 

She says she appreciates all that I've done for her (more than I will admit here), but can't be with me.

 

Yet we dance together when we drink. She laughs. She sits on my lap. She touches my face. Dances like a fool. Only when drinking.

 

Will I ever be let out of the friend zone, or am I doomed to endless suffering? Having to watch from afar, forever?

 

Do women ever give in, and just take a shot at happiness, with a good friend?

[perfectlyflawed459]

I have seen this happen quite a few times and I will share a story with you. A guy friend of mine really really liked this girl, so much he would drop everything just to attend to her. Despite doing everything for her, she always chose other guys over him and was always "not sure" about him. Well this of course kept going on, and my guy friend finally accepted defeat and gave up on her. He stopped talking to her and just dropped out of her life, so she could just go and live hers and be with whoever she wanted. Well recently, a few months since he dropped out of her life, she called him up admitting that she should have given him a chance and that she wanted to try things out with him, but he has already moved on to someone else.

 

I strongly believe people do not realize what they have until it is gone. Only when she completey lost him did she realize that he was the right person for her all along. So can someone change their mind and fall for you? Absolutely! However, usually only after they live life without you and feel the loss of losing you do they tend to realize that you were the right one for them. Even at that, you may have moved on by the time they realize they want to try things out with you. It is crappy, how people can take a good thing for granted like that, but many people have a tendancy to do that at some point in their lives be it with people or with other aspects of life.

 

So my advice to you, would be to let her go and let her live her life without the comfort of having you. I know that is hard because you are close to this girl, but to me it seems like she is taking you for granted and the only way she will possibly realize what she had is if she loses it. Hope that kind of helps you.

[gaius]

After 2 years it isn't going to change. My poor friend has spent endless amounts of energy working a girl from the friend zone for 5 years straight, best he's gotten is being allowed to jerk off in front of her.

 

I have seen this happen quite a few times and I will share a story with you. A guy friend of mine really really liked this girl, so much he would drop everything just to attend to her. Despite doing everything for her, she always chose other guys over him and was always "not sure" about him. Well this of course kept going on, and my guy friend finally accepted defeat and gave up on her. He stopped talking to her and just dropped out of her life, so she could just go and live hers and be with whoever she wanted. Well recently, a few months since he dropped out of her life, she called him up admitting that she should have given him a chance and that she wanted to try things out with him, but he has already moved on to someone else.

That sounds more like a ploy to get his attention back than it does a change of feelings. I know women who have gone out with guys they weren't attracted to just to keep their attention and it never works out well. He did them both a favor by saying no.

[jus d'orange]

The answer is yes, women do change their minds.

 

My first love happened that way. She knew my feelings; she'd say no countless times. I'd asked her to take a chance, and she said no. We'd fooled around together, made out... but still her answer was no. It was impractical, too... we knew anything would be LDR.

 

One day, I just gave up. I couldn't keep fighting for someone who didn't want me. We hung out that day, and somehow the dynamic changed. She flirted with me (for the first time ever) -- she ended up kissing me. From that point forward, we were together. It ended up being a 4 year difficult but loving relationship. It taught me what it meant to be loved.

 

I don't think it's about trying to make someone want you. Once you've made yourself clear and gotten your answer (it seems like she's sticking to it) the ball is in her court. Go ahead and let it go -- if she really does want a relationship but was afraid to make it happen, you'll know if she pursues you. Otherwise, you'll be better off by respecting yourself enough to not be in this position. You'll also open your heart and mind to the possibility of someone new who could reciprocate feelings.

 

Hope that helps, man. I remember the pain of such a situation. Don't put yourself through it any more. It can't go on like that.

[lovelife7]

You sound exactly like my boyfriend before i changed my mind and fell for him. Now we're in love and have been in a committed relationship for nearly six months, talking about our future together. You can do it too and i'll give you my advice, what made me see him in a different light.

 

1) Talk about sex without attempting to get in her pants. She already knows you want to be in her pants, so just try to strike up interesting convos about sex in general, about past experiences, etc. It'll get her curious.. if you talk like you know a lot about sex without giving anything much away she'll become curious. Especially if you are experienced, this will work, it worked for me.

 

2) Stop chasing her and start spending time with other girls. She'll get jealous that she's not the centre of your universe anymore. Girls like players, and the thought of winning them over, so you've got to surround yourself with DIFFERENT girls on a regular basis so she gets curious about them and trust me, she will get jealous. Especially if you stop chasing her and treat her as just a friend.

 

3) Once you've got 1 and 2 covered, she will see you as more masculine. Once you see changes in her behaviour, like jealousy and her going out of her way to get your attention rather than the other way around, then you can start heating up your sex talks.

 

4) By now she's decided she wants to sleep with you, so go out drinking together and let magic happen. But just warning you, the sex needs to be amazing or you'll be back in that friend zone so fast. So if necessary, i suggest getting more experience first.

 

5) Once you've had amazing sex and are FWB.. well you're living together so it will slowly turn into a relationship. But you can't be full on once you've had sex, it's got to slowly progress from fwb to relationship, and she can't know you want a relationship until she knows she wants one.

 

Good luck!