Why do older guys go for the much younger girl?

[Disenchantedly Yours]

advoid? You lost me with that one. Like I said before I was directing that to users that mention that a lot and even on other threads.

 

Well I have explained it already several times. Women of all ages should avoid men that specifically seek out younger versions of themselves. Because the reality is that it doesn't really bode well for that young woman either to be with a man that sees her age as a diminishing return. It's not a difficult concept to understand. Please look to my other posts to get a better picture if you are confused.

[joystickd]

Everyone has something they are insecure about.

 

Men have things they are insecure about too.

 

Alot of it for valid reasons. You want to help them stop feeling insecure? How about doing something to reassure them or offer a kind word instead of complaining about their complaining. Just a thought.

Let's be honest here with some of them a kind word wouldn't help them at all. When I was going through what I went through I never received a kind word. It was my conscious choice to change that made the difference. These people have to make the conscious choice to change. I'm not complaining I am just saying its cool to vent but at some point you have to stop the pity party and really be proactive in changing. I spent years feeling like some of these guys on here. Then I met someone and I got hurt and spent time venting until it turned to whining. Honestly if it wasnt for people I know being hard on me I probably wouldn't have changed. Being reassuring it cool once or twice but after that you have to get tough with them because its nothing but a pity party at that point

[joystickd]

Well I have explained it already several times. Women of all ages should avoid men that specifically seek out younger versions of themselves. Because the reality is that it doesn't really bode well for that young woman either to be with a man that sees her age as a diminishing return. It's not a difficult concept to understand. Please look to my other posts to get a better picture if you are confused.

Really I meant what the hell is advoid. Is that a new word? Just wondering.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Joystickd, I think you are just being rude. Most people can figure out what the word is even if it wasn't typed correctly. You're just really being a very small minded person at this point.

 

It is threads like me that make me think men do not really care about women at all. They simply care about young women. And when these conversations come up, instead of having certain men really discuss it, you get people saying "so what I like what I like!" And acting silly with other nonsense that is currently being filled up in this thread.

 

I think a lot of men simply think women are worthless unless they are young. Yet these men want to be choosen for their "character" and don't want to have to pay for dates or have to actually do anything to win a woman over. The ywant to be able to bang women, use them, toss them aside, complain about femininism and having to actually pay for a date or having to open a door for a woman but want to use women their own ways.

[joystickd]

Joystickd, I think you are just being rude. Most people can figure out what the word is even if it wasn't typed correctly. You're just really being a very small minded person at this point.

 

It is threads like me that make me think men do not really care about women at all. They simply care about young women. And when these conversations come up, instead of having certain men really discuss it, you get people saying "so what I like what I like!" And acting silly with other nonsense that is currently being filled up in this thread.

 

I think a lot of men simply think women are worthless unless they are young. Yet these men want to be choosen for their "character" and don't want to have to pay for dates or have to actually do anything to win a woman over. The ywant to be able to bang women, use them, toss them aside, complain about femininism and having to actually pay for a date or having to open a door for a woman but want to use women their own ways.

Men do care about women but women like you let the minority of men BS affect the way you see men as a whole. Case in point this http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/98577-i-dont-trust-men . I will be honest I have a certain attitude and it does rub some people the right way and people that know me are used to it and on here I actually exaggerate it 100x more. In that same token you see men on here talk the same about women. I mean honestly just let go of the pity party and be mature adults that understand that what a few do is not what everyone does.

[xxoo]

I did originally take it in that spirit... we are all getting older and feeling it.

 

He did have other reasons for feeling 'old', so I didn't automatically take it as a slam.

 

It was that along with the combination of doing alot of ex-bashing that made me feel his divorce was a little fresh. I've just seen it way too often from men who are freshly divorced. They (perhaps understandably) have this need to feel like they still 'got it'. Women do the same thing, but often in different ways.

 

So my thought was... ok... go take care of business and whatever he needs to do to get back on his feet emotionally. See me in another year or so... Or, lets just be friends. I would have been ok with that too... as long as it didn't involve him whining about not getting action from much younger women. That I probably wouldn't have tolerated.

 

Oh, and I forgot to mention that he googled me before our first meeting. I know, I know. I have this wierd thing about it. I REALLY wish men wouldn't do that. Even with the best of intentions, it freaks them the hell out. Not for anything 'bad' mind you... just the stuff that freaks alot of men out... like insecurities about income, education, accomplishments, etc... things I really don't care much about if they'd only get to know me. *sigh*

 

I sounds like he wasn't in the right place for a new relationship with a woman of any age.

[RedRobin]

Well I have explained it already several times. Women of all ages should avoid men that specifically seek out younger versions of themselves. Because the reality is that it doesn't really bode well for that young woman either to be with a man that sees her age as a diminishing return. It's not a difficult concept to understand. Please look to my other posts to get a better picture if you are confused.

 

... and I agree with you 100%... especially the 'diminishing return' part.

 

It can be hard for young women to see this... which is why it is up to us more experienced women (and caring men) to help them out.

[joystickd]

I mean doesn't rub people the right way

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Men do care about women but women like you let the minority of men BS affect the way you see men as a whole. Case in point this http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/98577-i-dont-trust-men . I will be honest I have a certain attitude and it does rub some people the right way and people that know me are used to it and on here I actually exaggerate it 100x more. In that same token you see men on here talk the same about women. I mean honestly just let go of the pity party and be mature adults that understand that what a few do is not what everyone does.

 

No one is having a pity party Joystickd. If you don't want to dicuss this topic, if you think it's a waste of time, why are you in here to begin with? You tell people what they should or shouldn't be doing and you tell them they just need to "let things go", but you are unable to even do what you advise. I can understand not wanting to be in on a topic and then simply not ADDING to the topic. Yet that's not what you do. You seem to want to demand that women stop talking about something. And you seem to want to lecture women on what they should "accept" , while you offer no such advice to men based on the same thing, such as women's ages. I wrote and earlier post in response to something you said and you completely ignore it. The reality is, you can't even stand by the advice you give. And if you don't liek the topic, if you want to be a mature adult that you keep talking and advising about, then don't post in topics you aren't interested in. It's really just that simple. But you repeatidly demanding that people post and think how you want them to post and think, is actually way worse then people having a particular thread to talk about a particular topic.

[joystickd]

Honestly I look at some of the men and women on here and see them talk about wanting a relationship. I see this and then look at threads that start out venting at first then turn to a pity party. I wonder do they really want a LTR. I mean venting a few times is cool but after while my thoughts are they really don't want it because if they did they would work on it.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

... and I agree with you 100%... especially the 'diminishing return' part.

 

It can be hard for young women to see this... which is why it is up to us more experienced women (and caring men) to help them out.

 

Agee. One day these men will treat these younger women the same way these men are currently treating their own counterparts. Which is why these men don't really like women. They just like the youth they can use and get from women. They haven't learned to appreciate and enjoy themselves as they aged and thus, can't appreciate and enjoy women their own age. And since every woman on the planet ages, when a man disrespects or belittles an older woman, he is also belitting younger women. This is what I think alot of these guys refuse to see or acknowledge. Their preference for younger women isn't about really respecting even those younger women. It's just about using those women for the time. They might tell themselves they really care about these women but the only reason they are with them to begin with is because of their looks. Those younger women should ask themselves, "if I was his age, would he still want to date me." The answer would be chillin for those girls. That's why it's important to know how men think and feel about this and to GO with men that hold a very different perspective on women and age then the type that is mostly being showcased the loudest in this thread.

[joystickd]

No one is having a pity party Joystickd. If you don't want to dicuss this topic, if you think it's a waste of time, why are you in here to begin with? You tell people what they should or shouldn't be doing and you tell them they just need to "let things go", but you are unable to even do what you advise. I can understand not wanting to be in on a topic and then simply not ADDING to the topic. Yet that's not what you do. You seem to want to demand that women stop talking about something. And you seem to want to lecture women on what they should "accept" , while you offer no such advice to men based on the same thing, such as women's ages. I wrote and earlier post in response to something you said and you completely ignore it. The reality is, you can't even stand by the advice you give. And if you don't liek the topic, if you want to be a mature adult that you keep talking and advising about, then don't post in topics you aren't interested in. It's really just that simple. But you repeatidly demanding that people post and think how you want them to post and think, is actually way worse then people having a particular thread to talk about a particular topic.

No my actual point is after a certain point why even devote the energy to it. I am stating my opinion and I really don't give a sh*t who has a problem with it. Like I said before I hold my mouth for no one. I mean damn its crazy to have a few pages venting with the same people to me that is a pity party. I would say the same for guys too so don't go thinking I'm just doing this to the women

[joystickd]

Why let a small group of people BS affect they way you treat or even view that whole group? Answer that one. This all I want to know. If you understand that everyone is different then why approach it like everyone is the same.

[xxoo]

Agee. One day these men will treat these younger women the same way these men are currently treating their own counterparts. Which is why these men don't really like women. They just like the youth they can use and get from women. They haven't learned to appreciate and enjoy themselves as they aged and thus, can't appreciate and enjoy women their own age. And since every woman on the planet ages, when a man disrespects or belittles an older woman, he is also belitting younger women. This is what I think alot of these guys refuse to see or acknowledge. Their preference for younger women isn't about really respecting even those younger women. It's just about using those women for the time. They might tell themselves they really care about these women but the only reason they are with them to begin with is because of their looks. Those younger women should ask themselves, "if I was his age, would he still want to date me." The answer would be chillin for those girls. That's why it's important to know how men think and feel about this and to GO with men that hold a very different perspective on women and age then the type that is mostly being showcased the loudest in this thread.

 

Knowing some men who have sought, and partnered with, a younger woman, the bolded is not necessarily true.

 

As one of my friends put it (married to a much younger woman), she will always be younger than him. She's aging, but she isn't catching up to him. Yes, he knows he has issues. She does, too. But together, they are happy!

 

And he chose her, over other women he could have chosen, because of her sweetness. Yes, he could have found that sweetness in a woman his age, but he wanted both--younger woman AND sweet. And he found it.

[udolipixie]

Knowing some men who have sought, and partnered with, a younger woman, the bolded is not necessarily true.

 

As one of my friends put it (married to a much younger woman), she will always be younger than him. She's aging, but she isn't catching up to him.

To me that makes "they might tell themselves they really care about these women but the only reason they are with them to begin with is because of their looks" that you claim isn't necessarily true actually true in the case you described.

 

He chose her for her looks her young/younger than him looks and the stance of she'll always be younger than me enforces that to me.

 

And he chose her, over other women he could have chosen, because of her sweetness. Yes, he could have found that sweetness in a woman his age, but he wanted both--younger woman AND sweet. And he found it.

Seems more like he chose her because of her youth and sweetness with it being primarily her youth.

 

Most likely her sweetness is what made him chose her over other young women as if she was his age her sweetness wouldn't matter.

Edited March 29, 2012 by udolipixie

[joystickd]

To me that makes "they might tell themselves they really care about these women but the only reason they are with them to begin with is because of their looks" that you claim isn't necessarily true actually true in the case you described.

 

He chose her for her looks her young/younger than him looks and the stance of she'll always be younger than me to me enforces that.

 

 

Seems more like he chose her because of her youth and sweetness and primarily her youth. If her sweetness was more important then as you stated he could have found that sweetness in a woman his age. Most likely if she was his age her sweetness wouldn't matter.

No one has answered this. Why give someone a hard time about their choice in partner they want to spend their life with? One some level I get the sense of ageism with some of the LS women. Its like if a woman like tall men or men with big penises its that woman's choice. That doesn't mean all women see men for their height or dick size or that women don't care about men. Its just one person having a preference

[udolipixie]

No one has answered this. Why give someone a hard time about their choice in partner they want to spend their life with?

Plenty have answered that I guess you've overlooked that.

 

The general answer being they're not giving a person a hard time for what they want.

 

They're giving them a hard time for being insulting, degrading, and dehumanizing to those they don't want.

 

Do tell are you suggesting my post is giving someone a hard time about their choice in a partner they want to spend their life with? I'm actually stating that their preference is why they chose that person to begin.

[joystickd]

Plenty have answered that I guess you've overlooked that.

 

The general answer being they're not giving a person a hard time for what they want.

 

They're giving them a hard time for being insulting, degrading, and dehumanizing to those they don't want.

 

Do tell are you suggesting my post is giving someone a hard time about their choice in a partner they want to spend their life with? I'm actually stating that their preference is why they chose that person to begin.

Why focus on the fact she is younger? There are women that like older men but you don't see men on here complaining about it. My thing is really delve into the positives and negative of being with a younger woman and a woman into their own age group as opposed to constantly talking about this to where it borders ageism and a pity party on the woman's part. That is all I am saying

[xxoo]

To me that makes "they might tell themselves they really care about these women but the only reason they are with them to begin with is because of their looks" that you claim isn't necessarily true actually true in the case you described.

 

He chose her for her looks her young/younger than him looks and the stance of she'll always be younger than me enforces that to me.

 

 

Seems more like he chose her because of her youth and sweetness with it being primarily her youth.

 

Most likely her sweetness is what made him chose her over other young women as if she was his age her sweetness wouldn't matter.

 

Yes, if she were his age, he would not have chosen her--regardless of sweetness.

 

But her youth is not the ONLY reason he is with her. He is with her, specifically, because she won him over with her sweetness (and a lot of other qualities, but the sweetness was what really made him fall in love). And he is genuinely in love with her.

 

Yes, she was someone he was initially interested because of her youthful looks. But they've been together a long time now, and she is aging, and he isn't looking for a younger woman. He still looks at HER as a younger woman, even though she is well over the age that many men here would consider "too old". He hasn't discarded her and looked for another "young" woman.

[udolipixie]

Why focus on the fact she is younger?

I'm "focusing" on that she's younger because:

a poster stated men who pursue younger women are with them because they are younger.

another poster stated that's not necessarily true as one guy with a much younger partner stated she'll always be younger than him & he chose her because he wanted young and sweet.

 

I'm "focusing" because to me that does make the poster who stated men pursue younger women are with them because they are younger to be true.

 

That's all I'm saying.

[joystickd]

I'm "focusing" on that she's younger because:

a poster stated men who pursue younger women are with them because they are younger.

another poster stated that's not necessarily true as one guy with a much younger partner stated she'll always be younger than him & he chose her because he wanted young and sweet.

 

I'm "focusing" because to me that does make the poster who stated men pursue younger women are with them because they are younger to be true.

 

That's all I'm saying.

That question was directed at all the women on here including OP.

[udolipixie]

But her youth is not the ONLY reason he is with her.

Toss up to me.

 

Her youth isn't the only reason he is with her.

 

Her youth is the only and/or primary reason he considered being with her.

 

Her youth is the only and/or primary reason he wanted to be with her.

 

He is with her, specifically, because she won him over with her sweetness (and a lot of other qualities, but the sweetness was what really made him fall in love). And he is genuinely in love with her.

 

I wasn't stating, implying, or suggesting he doesn't love her.

 

I'm stating he is with her because of her youth and that most likely her sweetness is what made him chose her over other young women as if she was his age her sweetness wouldn't matter.

 

Yes, she was someone he was initially interested because of her youthful looks. But they've been together a long time now, and she is aging, and he isn't looking for a younger woman.

He already has one as she will always be younger than him.

 

He still looks at HER as a younger woman, even though she is well over the age that many men here would consider "too old". He hasn't discarded her and looked for another "young" woman.

He still looks at her as a younger woman because in comparison to him she is.

 

He wanted younger than him & he got it.

[udolipixie]

But her youth is not the ONLY reason he is with her.

Toss up to me.

 

Her youth isn't the only reason he is with her.

 

Her youth is the only and/or primary reason he considered being with her.

 

Her youth is the only and/or primary reason he wanted to be with her.

 

He is with her, specifically, because she won him over with her sweetness (and a lot of other qualities, but the sweetness was what really made him fall in love). And he is genuinely in love with her.

 

I wasn't stating, implying, or suggesting he doesn't love her.

 

I'm stating he is with her because of her youth and that most likely her sweetness is what made him chose her over other young women as if she was his age her sweetness wouldn't matter.

 

Yes, she was someone he was initially interested because of her youthful looks. But they've been together a long time now, and she is aging, and he isn't looking for a younger woman.

He already has one as she will always be younger than him.

 

She's aging but as you stated he puts it as "she will always be younger than him. She's aging, but she isn't catching up to him"

 

He still looks at HER as a younger woman, even though she is well over the age that many men here would consider "too old". He hasn't discarded her and looked for another "young" woman.

He still looks at her as a younger woman because in comparison to him she is. She's aging but she's not as old as him or aging to the extent similar to him.

 

He wanted younger than him & he got it.

[joystickd]

Looking one would think the word youth bring a lot of anger in women

[xxoo]

I'm "focusing" on that she's younger because:

a poster stated men who pursue younger women are with them because they are younger.

another poster stated that's not necessarily true as one guy with a much younger partner stated she'll always be younger than him & he chose her because he wanted young and sweet.

 

I'm "focusing" because to me that does make the poster who stated men pursue younger women are with them because they are younger to be true.

 

That's all I'm saying.

 

I worded my response the opposite of what it should have been.

 

The first point should have been that he is with her because she is sweet. Not just because of her age (although he only looked in a pool of women around her age for a sweet one).

 

The part about her always being younger was to show that he continues to love her and be attracted to her as she ages. He has never denied that he wanted a younger woman, but he does not need to her be forever young to maintain his attraction.