Why do older guys go for the much younger girl?

[RedRobin]

Everything I said still stands. Nothing above of what you said really addresses anything I've said. Neither is it new. You've said it all before. I am not sure what you think you are explaining. If you keep finding yourself in relationships with younger women, it's because that's who you pick. You are the common denominator. It's not because younger women are fantasitic and older women aren't cruel mean monsters.

 

By the way, you never defined what "drama" was. This is often a word men throw around but seem unable to ever define. Life happens. I doubt you are a perfect person 123. I bet you come with your own amount of issues into any relationship. But I guess that's okay right?

 

You men go on and on about all the things women need to do to make you happy. Yet some of things don't even matter because ulimately what you care about, despite your own aging bodies, is getting a younger woman. Which is why even younger women should be aware of how you think and feel about it. You don't really even care or respect the younger woman. You just care about the outside package. And you try to act like the reason you pick younger women is because whats on the inside. And it's not. You tell women to do x,y and z. But none of that matters if at the end of the day, you just go for the younger woman. Do you know what it teaches women? Not to count on men. And that the things men claim they care about in women is bullcrap because the thing men really want is nothing women can complete with since all women get older. We get it. Congrats. We are interchanagable. You can all tout how much better men you are while you keep on saying how much better younger women are and keep discounting the entire population of women for the fact that they age. Then wonder why women are bitter toward you when the thing you prize about women is something like age. Wonder why women think men aren't nice people when you say the crap you said above.

 

From all these age discussions I have discovered that most men do not really like women. They only like young women. And that men think women are worthless and that men think their worth is better then womens. Which is why older guys keep making up justifications for dating younger women. I also learned that you can't count on men because a woman will always age, there will always be someone younger, and it's more likely that a man will chase the younger woman then be invested and committed to one woman. That's what men from this thread have taught me about men. And I actually think it makes guys happy on here to think of wome nas worthless. So I am just going to give you guys what you want. Men are better. Women are worthless. YOu win. Women are pieces of crap that don't deserve to be cared about. Yay for everyone!

 

No, don't believe that. About all men. Or even most men.

 

What you got on this thread is a list of 'tells' from men who don't value women. That is a good thing. When you see it IRL you can run, not walk away from them.

 

When you are having chats with your girlfriends about the men they date, you can help them sort it out too.

 

We will never stop anyone from wanting what they want. We as individuals can do something to keep them from easily getting it from women we care about... friends, relatives, and other women here.

 

If anything... the guys who don't value women have 'won' if they succeed in making you feel discouraged. Don't let that happen. Better just to hit the 'ignore' button and let them go on their way. Don't internalize it.

 

It is also better to encourage men who don't feel that way and are getting beat up by these same guys to 'be a man'... and trying to train legitimately nice guys into being a-holes like them. I'd say your efforts were better spent there rather than trying to convert the die-hard a-holes.

 

Encourage the nice guys. Ignore the jerks... is my suggestion. Although, I do enjoy your comments and being able to hit the 'like' button on alot of them. Just need some balance, GF. K?

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Thanks Robin. You are right. Just feeling lately like it's impossible with men I guess. You're suppose to have the perfect job, be independent, lookg beautiful doing it, never gain weight, don't have any issues or baggage. The list goes on. I rarely have all those things at the same time if ever. I will try to impart your wisdom more. Thanks for the encouraging words.

[phineas]

I never heard of a guy developing tennis elbow and carpel tunnel from masturbating.

 

Have sex with whoever you want. But your comment was strange because you talk about how you like women your own age, yet your comments kind of alluded to putting older women down in favor of "hot little 20 year olds".

 

Find me a hot little 40yr old & i'll sleep with her also.

But their scarce so I take whats available.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Find me a hot little 40yr old & i'll sleep with her also.

But their scarce so I take whats available.

 

Again, you entirely miss the point of what I said. It's strange how bitter you are about women that don't maintain the body type you have idealized.

[zengirl]

Thanks Robin. You are right. Just feeling lately like it's impossible with men I guess. You're suppose to have the perfect job, be independent, lookg beautiful doing it, never gain weight, don't have any issues or baggage. The list goes on. I rarely have all those things at the same time if ever.

 

I really don't think all those things are required. Certainly not from the men I know personally. I'm sure there are some people (men and probably other women too) who think that a woman should be all of those things, who criticize constantly, and who really don't like whole people as they are -- that's what things like that come down to. They cannot handle real, whole, dynamic, flawed people. Usually those people are immensely flawed themselves.

 

However, I think viewing ALL men that way puts you at another disadvantage. I'm well aware it gets harder as you get older. (I actually think, despite the meme otherwise, many older men face similar hardships TBH, as the dating pool simply shrinks; some men are able to add in "younger women" to help with this, but so are some women these days---less cougars than silver foxes, of course.) However, I don't think that the expectations are really what you say. I still think there are people out there who want real women (and real men).

 

I can see how it would feel the way you feel sometimes though.

 

My point was mostly in rebuttal to the few posters who seem to think that now they're older, there are hordes of younger (and hotter) women eager to be with them for their 'quality' or 'dignified personalities'. This seems to be quite a disingenious delusion, as the women who are looking for 'personalities' first and foremost, would not usually have a requirement for a much older man, in my experience.

 

In fact, that delusion here is twofold - while they themselves happily extol the values of a younger woman, they forget that age affects them, physically and mentally, every bit as it does women, in general (which I don't personally believe is necessarily a bad thing, but they appear to believe so). They tell themselves that it's karma, that finally they're on the top of the dating chain and those hot young chicks are appreciating them for who they are.

 

But often (not always), it isn't so. It always amuses me how men put out preferences for much younger women, then act disgusted and annoyed at 'women being with them for their wallets'. Or conversely, if said wallets do not exist, disgusted and annoyed at young women for turning down their advances. I mean, really??

 

Right. It's silly.

 

Granted, I don't think we should suggest every R that ever happens with an age difference is any one phenomena but the most common scenario is youth/beauty + wealth/status.

 

I really don't have any problem with people wanting what they want. I personally would be repelled by anyone (even for friendship or general socialization with) who insisted they needed a huge age difference in any direction, just as I'd never associate with anyone who dated someone for their money, etc. Just not interested in being around people with such preferences, as they don't fit my worldview. But it's absolutely okay that they HAVE them. Perhaps my preferences don't fit their worldview.

[123321]

You've said it all before. I am not sure what you think you are explaining. If you keep finding yourself in relationships with younger women, it's because that's who you pick.

 

I have found myself in relationships with women of all ages all my life, however lately I have simply become less tolerant of bullshit like the hardheadedness I'm running into here. You really sound bitter, and i don't know why but in real life it's attitudes like this that I don't want to have be a part of my life.

 

Now you won't see me starting a thread complaining about ... well anything dating related because that part of my life, well almost all parts really, are fantastic. So maybe, if you want, you might think about why I and guys like me are so happy and you and women who start threads like this are so bitter and frustrated.

[phineas]

Again, you entirely miss the point of what I said. It's strange how bitter you are about women that don't maintain the body type you have idealized.

 

I got your point.

Except I ignore straw-man arguments.

 

You are the bitter one here.

How many fat guys have you dated over the yrs?

 

Hmmm?

 

and when I say fat I mean double chin, beer gut ect.

 

My ideal body type is smaller than me. Stop trying to make it seem like i'm looking for a super model to bolster your sad attempts at an argument.

 

I lived on the other side of the coin & women (even overweight women) don't want to date a fat guy. PERIOD.

 

Why should I date a woman who's ass, arms, and mid-section are bigger (fatter) than mine?

 

also, I don't pursue younger women.

THEY COME TO ME.

 

Why turn that down?

Makes zero sense.

 

What is the point in being alone or being with someone you aren't attracted to?

Edited March 31, 2012 by phineas

[123321]

I got your point.

Except I ignore straw-man arguments.

 

You are the bitter one here.

 

Ironically if she's hot she's a great example of the type woman who would get about 15 minutes of my time on a first date. Something has broken her on the inside and while I feel bad for that, it's not my chore to try and fix it.

 

Next.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I have found myself in relationships with women of all ages all my life, however lately I have simply become less tolerant of bullshit like the hardheadedness I'm running into here. You really sound bitter, and i don't know why but in real life it's attitudes like this that I don't want to have be a part of my life.

 

Now you won't see me starting a thread complaining about ... well anything dating related because that part of my life, well almost all parts really, are fantastic. So maybe, if you want, you might think about why I and guys like me are so happy and you and women who start threads like this are so bitter and frustrated.

 

123, why is it acceptable for you to be hardheaded and have your opinion but it is not acceptable for me to be hardheaded and have my opinion? Isn't this a matter of both of us just holding firm to our own opinions? Why does that automatically mean I am less then you for doing the same thing you are doing?

 

You just seem to want women to accept it in you while you criticize women for feeling the same way. You are annoyed about "drama" (something you still fail to define) and you have very clear ideas about what you think a woman should be. This is all okay. Yet when I have very clear opinions it's "bitter"? When you say women with "drama" is "bull" you don't put up with but me thinking certain men have their own drama and issues makes me "hardheaded"? Come on. That's really not fair or right.

 

By the way, you never have ever come off to me as someone who was happy go lucky. Dust is a man that comes off as happy go lucky. You don't. Now I understand that you are infact happy and go lucky and that's great! But you think I come off a certain way and I think you come off a certain way.

 

And sometimes I am bitter about it. It often feels like you simply can't win with men. No matter what you do. Men want whatever they think is the bigger better deal. there is no room for women to jut be woman. To be human. To not be perfect. You all want 20 year old young tight hot babes with perfect bodies. Okay. Well sorry, that does make me feel defeatest about men. That does make me feel like I can't win with men so I should stop bothering. I don't want to be with a guy that wants to be with 20 year olds. And I certainly don't want to be with a guy that is with me that's always looking over his shoulder at 20 year olds.

 

Perhaps it would behove you to understand why women get frustrated and not demean and discount them and chalk them up to just being bitter. And I think that's what you and other guys do when you just automatically call women bitter with not trying to understand them. It's not cool. It's not cool that you allow yourself to exhibit hardheadness about your opinion yet critize women for their own.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I got your point.

Except I ignore straw-man arguments.

 

You are the bitter one here.

How many fat guys have you dated over the yrs?

 

Hmmm?

 

and when I say fat I mean double chin, beer gut ect.

 

My ideal body type is smaller than me. Stop trying to make it seem like i'm looking for a super model to bolster your sad attempts at an argument.

 

I lived on the other side of the coin & women (even overweight women) don't want to date a fat guy. PERIOD.

 

Why should I date a woman who's ass, arms, and mid-section are bigger (fatter) than mine?

 

also, I don't pursue younger women.

THEY COME TO ME.

 

Why turn that down?

Makes zero sense.

 

What is the point in being alone or being with someone you aren't attracted to?

 

I have dated fat guys! One of the best lovers I ever had was actually fat!

 

I don't understand why you are being mean to be honest. You tell me I come off bitter but so do you and 123. You both seem to fail to see this in yourselves. At least I admit that I can be bitter and frustrated about men.

[phineas]

I have found myself in relationships with women of all ages all my life, however lately I have simply become less tolerant of bullshit like the hardheadedness I'm running into here. You really sound bitter, and i don't know why but in real life it's attitudes like this that I don't want to have be a part of my life.

 

Now you won't see me starting a thread complaining about ... well anything dating related because that part of my life, well almost all parts really, are fantastic. So maybe, if you want, you might think about why I and guys like me are so happy and you and women who start threads like this are so bitter and frustrated.

 

You hit the nail on the head here.

She does sound bitter.

 

It's like she is trying to shame men into dating someone her age in order to increase her chances.

 

If I met a woman my age who is in shape & doesn't have issues I'd date her.

But i'm not meeting them.

 

She seems to expect me to choose a woman my own age i'm not attracted to over a woman I am & trying to claim it's because of age when it just isn't.

[phineas]

I have dated fat guys! One of the best lovers I ever had was actually fat!

 

I don't understand why you are being mean to be honest. You tell me I come off bitter but so do you and 123. You both seem to fail to see this in yourselves. At least I admit that I can be bitter and frustrated about men.

 

Mean?

LOL!

Telling you that you are wrong about me is mean?

Telling you that you are using ridiculous extreme's to describe what I find attractive is wrong?

 

Are you honestly going to try & say my wanting a woman smaller than me is being bitter, mean, & unrealistic?

[Els]

Right. It's silly.

 

Granted, I don't think we should suggest every R that ever happens with an age difference is any one phenomena but the most common scenario is youth/beauty + wealth/status.

 

I really don't have any problem with people wanting what they want. I personally would be repelled by anyone (even for friendship or general socialization with) who insisted they needed a huge age difference in any direction, just as I'd never associate with anyone who dated someone for their money, etc. Just not interested in being around people with such preferences, as they don't fit my worldview. But it's absolutely okay that they HAVE them. Perhaps my preferences don't fit their worldview.

 

Precisely! I guess it just tickled me a little that some of the male posters who are the most loudest defenders of the older men/younger women pairing, are also the most loqacious speakers against the faintest ties between men, women, and money.

 

I guess it makes things better for me if I ever end up single again. I like women my own age (I'm 38). Young girls come with too much drama and immaturity.

 

I really wish people would not immediately level blanket derogatory accusations at women of varying ages? It's great that you are attracted to someone your age. It's fine that some men are attracted to women older or younger. But can't you, and they, make it about personal attraction, not some general assumption on the failures of women at age X or Y? If I like a tall guy, I'll say I'm just attracted to him. I won't try to defend my attraction by saying that short guys are less protective or less strong or less caring. Wouldn't it be a better world if we could all state our attractions without insulting the ones we aren't attracted to?

[PlumPrincess]

I have dated fat guys! One of the best lovers I ever had was actually fat!

 

I don't understand why you are being mean to be honest. You tell me I come off bitter but so do you and 123. You both seem to fail to see this in yourselves. At least I admit that I can be bitter and frustrated about men.

I do understand how you feel and I recently went through a phase where I felt pretty down about it, but in the end, it's useless to get upset about these guys. I think you will have more success when you concentrate on the guys who don't care that much about a woman's age. The majority of the guys I saw on the online dating site I really didn't want to date. So while I found their preferences to be absurd and irritating, in the end, it doesn't really matter that much. And while it's kind of sad that guys who seem right for you have this preference, there are still others who don't have it.

[Mme. Chaucer]

From all these age discussions I have discovered that most men do not really like women. They only like young women.

 

I'm pretty sure that SOME men don't like young women OR old women; young women are more attractive physically, so they're more useful for sex and arm candy.

 

And that men think women are worthless and that men think their worth is better then womens. Which is why older guys keep making up justifications for dating younger women.

 

Some men do think that women are worthless and men have higher worth. And some of these guys are very vocal here on LS.

 

On the other hand, why does somebody need to "justify" who they choose to date? We like what we like. I bet you have preferences too.

 

I also learned that you can't count on men because a woman will always age, there will always be someone younger, and it's more likely that a man will chase the younger woman then be invested and committed to one woman. That's what men from this thread have taught me about men.

 

Maybe it's time for you to examine who you are giving all this power to. Why are you allowing such people to define everything for you? Find better teachers.

[boaaaar]

You all want 20 year old young tight hot babes with perfect bodies. Okay. Well sorry, that does make me feel defeatest about men.

Well, I thought I found youthful looks kinda overrated and rather wanted women who are not pressured to have babies in a hurry. I must have been lying to myself, all I want is a 20 year old young tight hot babe with a perfect body. I'm feeling terribad about myself for being so shallow and self-delusional

 

But at least, while this may make you feel defeatist about men, I bet this conclusion makes you feel better about yourself. Have a good day

[phineas]

I do understand how you feel and I recently went through a phase where I felt pretty down about it, but in the end, it's useless to get upset about these guys. I think you will have more success when you concentrate on the guys who don't care that much about a woman's age. The majority of the guys I saw on the online dating site I really didn't want to date. So while I found their preferences to be absurd and irritating, in the end, it doesn't really matter that much. And while it's kind of sad that guys who seem right for you have this preference, there are still others who don't have it.

 

LOL!

 

Please explain how me wanting a woman smaller than me is being absurd.

[123321]

You just seem to want women to accept it in you while you criticize women for feeling the same way.

 

Nah, someone started a thread with a specific complaint, and I'm a happy guy but I wanted to comment on her topic and add my view. I'm just happy women are the way they are because it's working dandy for me.

[gibson]

It's like she is trying to shame men into dating someone her age in order to increase her chances.

 

If I met a woman my age who is in shape & doesn't have issues I'd date her.

But i'm not meeting them.

 

She seems to expect me to choose a woman my own age i'm not attracted to over a woman I am & trying to claim it's because of age when it just isn't.

 

Most women in this thread are responding to the male "pigs" suggesting you choose a women based on their age and looks alone and these are the women I agree with.

 

But to the ones that are trying to "shame" men like you and I...

 

I just recently turned 40, involved in my community, trying to make a difference in the world, come from a wonderful family, have great friends, loving, kind, considerate, do not have drinking problem, never did drugs, was careful about the women I dated and was in relationships with, never been married, no kids, great job, no debt, successful, took care of my health, in great shape, confident, happy, etc. I also have a very positive view of women and I value, appreciate and respect them.

 

Because of this and the fact that I have always valued, respected and loved myself... I don't have to scrape the bottom of the barrel, take what they think I should get, "settle" for someone that may look good on the outside but is crap on the inside or for someone who is ugly and fat and whom I am not attracted too.

 

I am not a hypocrite and asking / wanting a single thing more than I offer myself. I am looking for and meeting women of all ages that offers the qualities, attributes and brings the same things that I do to the table.

 

Due to my lifestyle, how I conduct myself, my environment, my hobbies, my interests, professional organizations I take part of, church, charity events I attend, volunteering opportunities I take part in, the people I associate with and circles I run in.... There are plenty of quality, attractive and amazing women who are in their 20's and 30's that have a lot to offer.

 

So for me, this argument is pointless. I have plenty of choices to choose from and their age is the least of my concerns or something I even consider or worry about.

 

You have exactly the love life that you want.

 

If you are not happy with your love life or the people you have to "choose" from... My advice is to become and be the type of person you want to attract, put yourself in environments where you will meet the type of people you want, have a lifestyle that supports and is conducive to this, do not accept anything less than you want, surround yourself with quality individuals, do things that you enjoy, invest in yourself, get involved with professional organizations, your local church, charities and volunteer (these generally attract people who care, are generous, compassionate, understanding, etc.) so you can make a difference in your life and other people's too, etc.

 

For the female posters in this thread that want to try and shame men like me into taking pity on them, overlook the fact they did not value, love and respect themselves and expect me to "settle" and be happy with someone that is "damaged", angry, bitter, ugly, manhater, has a ton of baggage, overweight or expect me to "rescue" them from themselves, be with a "fixer upper" or dive on a grenade because you think I ought too... that is never ever going to happen!

 

Why?

 

We were never like you to being with. We never "settled" and dated crap / losers in the past and we are not about to start that now. Unlike you, we don't feel like we have "settle". We know there are plenty of women that are older who do not have your issues, baggage and happen to look amazing also! Sure there are less older single women like this when compared to the younger one but if we choose too, we can simple go younger without any problems.

Edited March 31, 2012 by gibson

[PlumPrincess]

LOL!

 

Please explain how me wanting a woman smaller than me is being absurd.

Smaller? If you mean younger, well, take a look at the guys online. Frankly, a lot of them can consider themselves lucky if they get any woman, let's not talk about younger ones.

[gibson]

Smaller? If you mean younger, well, take a look at the guys online. Frankly, a lot of them can consider themselves lucky if they get any woman, let's not talk about younger ones.

 

Your first mistake... Thinking every guy you meet online is a reflection of every guy in the world.

 

Second mistake... Why worry about or give these "pigs" a second thought? They are disgusting and a women would be a fool to date them.

 

Third mistake... Why worry about younger women? You are your own "competition", not them. Don't compare yourself to women young or old.

 

Forth mistake... Older, normal and healthy men men can and do date younger, normal and healthy women. There is nothing wrong with it. I have dated older and younger and their age had nothing to do with why I found them attractive.

[AIDsFan1488]

You hit the nail on the head here.

She does sound bitter.

 

It's like she is trying to shame men into dating someone her age in order to increase her chances.

 

If I met a woman my age who is in shape & doesn't have issues I'd date her.

But i'm not meeting them.

 

She seems to expect me to choose a woman my own age i'm not attracted to over a woman I am & trying to claim it's because of age when it just isn't.

 

 

It's so amusing how bitter the women here are about this.

 

There ARE some attractive older women, but they're not that common. Why? Because women as they age stop trying. They get that hideous dyke haircut. They got 2-3 kids they expect you to support (because they choose to reproduce with a deadbeat). They STILL haven't found a personality or wisdom, and STILL are obsessed with pop culture and baby shyt since everyone around seems to be inflicted with peter pan syndrome.

 

So if older women want to be desired, they're going to have to offer more than being old, fat, with ugly hair and the same vapid brain a younger more attractive woman has. Affirmative Action dating where no matter what you look or act like men want you ends around 40, live with it bitches.

 

You're real lucky you're not the equal of a "short guy", you still have hope. Most women wouldn't date a man their height or shorter even if he was in great shape, smart, and very attractive in other ways.

[PlumPrincess]

Your first mistake... Thinking every guy you meet online is a reflection of every guy in the world.

 

Second mistake... Why worry about or give these "pigs" a second thought? They are disgusting and a women would be a fool to date them.

 

Third mistake... Why worry about younger women? You are your own "competition", not them. Don't compare yourself to women young or old.

 

Forth mistake... Older, normal and healthy men men can and do date younger, normal and healthy women. There is nothing wrong with it. I have dated older and younger and their age had nothing to do with why I found them attractive.

I already said I don't really care too much what you guys are doing nor what kind of explanations you come up. Phineas asked me why I considered their preferences absurd and I gave him explanation.

 

I do hope the majority of guys online is not representative of normal guys in real life. I've never thought that much about men's age preferences until I tried online dating.

[PlumPrincess]

Most women wouldn't date a man their height or shorter even if he was in great shape, smart, and very attractive in other ways.

You're wrong. They just don't want to date you.

[AIDsFan1488]

BTW another thing for some of you older more financially successful guys, always remember that a lot of these of these older women wouldn't have wanted you when you and them were younger.

 

Bitches love to whore it up with the jocks and pinheads from puberty until maybe 30's (the age of even relative maturation keeps going up for bitches), then suddenly the sand in the biological clock is dropping at a faster and faster rate so they try to latch on to some of the dorks that were able to carve out a career for themselves.

 

Just remember that next time a woman tells you to stop being so shallow. It's not like they are any different or ever will be, it's more like the tables have turned.