Why do older guys go for the much younger girl?

[ThaWholigan]

so you consider being some young guys "older woman" exeperiance worse than becoming the cat lady?

 

why be alone waiting for mr right when mr right now is standing in front of you?

Since it most likely won't be serious you can just end it when the right guy does come around.

Having read her posts, I don't think she's after that. She's looking for a proper partner.

[PinkInTheLimo]

And it's no big surprise but ALOT of older guys stop trying too. They have baggage, such as kids. They have to pay support to their exwives. They complain about how awful their ex treated them and fail to take any responsbility for the life choices they made. I have been out on dates with guys like this. They sit there and criticize and condemn women and talk about the virtues of themselves as men but they fail to understand that they aren't really the catches they think they are. And I think that men are so bitter toward older women because older women are harder to impress. They also won't put up with your bs as much as someone younger and less experienced will. I don't think this is about younger women being kinder. They aren't. This isn't about younger women being more loving. They aren't. This is about the fact that men can get away more with younger women because they do not have the experience or insite yet to see what men are capable of.

 

Older guys totally overrate their worth. And we "older" women see them for what they are. We have no problem with the fact that they are not perfect, we are not either, but we find the unjustified high opinion they have of themselves pathetic. I have seen so many profiles of men my age or older who are saying in their profile that they look so young. It's total BS. They do sometimes look good but they look their age.

 

I think we "older" women are often called bitter because we don't totally drool over guys our age. Has nothing to do with being bitter. We don't see them as gods, we don't kiss the ground they walk on. And you know what, young girls with enough self-esteem are not impressed by them either. Because these guys have nothing to give; it's all about them and about their ego.

A woman with a healthy self-esteem is impressed by kindness and integrity. I haven't seen a lot of that in this thread, at least not by the men.

[phineas]

What happens to these men when these younger women spend a man's money on shopping or whatever and look around one day and find they are still not fulfilled because as much as they don't want to be they are still attracted to young men and want the excitement of true love and passion with a guy who is like them - young?

 

Is it that easy for the older man to move on to someone else young and not carry feelings of hurt about their loss?

 

The "sugar Daddy's" I know usually don't keep the women around all that long.

Couple of months at most & if one does stray there is always another one willing to take her place.

 

Eventually those guys do find a woman closer to their own age and settle down but only if they agree to a pre-nup.

[phineas]

Having read her posts, I don't think she's after that. She's looking for a proper partner.

 

Maybe it's time for her to broaden her horizon's & open up to new idea's or relocate if she isn't finding a man.

[RedRobin]

so you consider being some young guys "older woman" exeperiance worse than becoming the cat lady?

 

why be alone waiting for mr right when mr right now is standing in front of you?

Since it most likely won't be serious you can just end it when the right guy does come around.

 

Too funny. Cat lady?! Naah. I'll just add the young gentleman to my pool of 'courtiers'. We can ride motorcycles together and jump off of tall buildings and other craziness. Then, if/when he can convince me he has more upstairs than a pool of raging hormones... maybe, just maybe, we can get together.

 

In the meantime, he can search out ladies his own age. I'll be watching how he treats them. Maybe he'll introduce me to his newly single dad or his dad's friends. Even better!

 

Anyway, I don't treat people as disposable.

[RedRobin]

Maybe it's time for her to broaden her horizon's & open up to new idea's or relocate if she isn't finding a man.

 

I'm in the process of relocating. To a place where there are more men who aren't freaked out by women like me and (odds are) live a healthier lifestyle overall. However, the process is taking longer than I like, so I find myself kind of half-in/half-out of the dating world. Kind of in limbo.

 

The world is kind of conspiring to keep me right here where I'm currently living (at least from a career/economic standpoint). The fact that my dating options are so limited here is seriously taxing me.

 

I'm THIS CLOSE to doing something somewhat irresponsible from a career standpoint and just moving to a location of my choice and crossing my fingers I can find employment once I get there.

 

I'm a MAN MIGRANT. Yep

[stillafool]

The "sugar Daddy's" I know usually don't keep the women around all that long.

Couple of months at most & if one does stray there is always another one willing to take her place.

 

Eventually those guys do find a woman closer to their own age and settle down but only if they agree to a pre-nup.

 

 

Why wouldn't he search for a young woman who will love him instead of an older woman he has no attraction to. It would seem he is setting himself up for failure by doing this.

[xxoo]

Older guys totally overrate their worth. And we "older" women see them for what they are. We have no problem with the fact that they are not perfect, we are not either, but we find the unjustified high opinion they have of themselves pathetic. I have seen so many profiles of men my age or older who are saying in their profile that they look so young. It's total BS. They do sometimes look good but they look their age.

 

I think we "older" women are often called bitter because we don't totally drool over guys our age. Has nothing to do with being bitter. We don't see them as gods, we don't kiss the ground they walk on. And you know what, young girls with enough self-esteem are not impressed by them either. Because these guys have nothing to give; it's all about them and about their ego.

A woman with a healthy self-esteem is impressed by kindness and integrity. I haven't seen a lot of that in this thread, at least not by the men.

 

But doesn't everyone want a partner who drools over them? Many older guys are drool-worthy.

 

And guys--admit it--plenty of women in their 30s and up and drool-worthy, too.

 

Kindness and integrity are extremely important, but not necessarily what gets a person to click on your "profile".

 

Maybe the problem is OLD, and not actually the older men, or older women.

[Zed]

Whenever I hear men automatically chalk women up to "bitter", I can't help but think they are bitter themselves. Just look at the language you use to talk about older women. There is so much bitterness and hate in it. And that's what I don't get. Why are you so bitter and angry toward women? Especially older women? Where does that come from? How can you claim you like women when you fail to acknowledge women are people that aren't perfect? It seems like you guys expect women to not come with any life experience.

 

And it's no big surprise but ALOT of older guys stop trying too. They have baggage, such as kids. They have to pay support to their exwives. They complain about how awful their ex treated them and fail to take any responsbility for the life choices they made. I have been out on dates with guys like this. They sit there and criticize and condemn women and talk about the virtues of themselves as men but they fail to understand that they aren't really the catches they think they are. And I think that men are so bitter toward older women because older women are harder to impress. They also won't put up with your bs as much as someone younger and less experienced will. I don't think this is about younger women being kinder. They aren't. This isn't about younger women being more loving. They aren't. This is about the fact that men can get away more with younger women because they do not have the experience or insite yet to see what men are capable of.

 

Women can certainly be bitter. But almost every man on this thread that has made comments about how younger women are better and how older women are ugly and old, has so much bitterness inside their own hearts. People that don't have bitterness and hate inside them do not talk about others the way a few of you guys have.

 

And I think you know this. Otherwise you wouldn't be trying so hard to put women down. The funny thing is that you don't even respect younger women. You only like them from what you think you get from them. That's not about really liking women. That's not about real love. Real care. Real respect. Eventually that woman will see through it.

 

Now when I was younger, I did date older guys. My friends would bust on me for being the one to date older guys and that I was the only one that did date older. The guys and girl friends would tease me about it. But had I known now about how older guys really thought about women, I wouldn't have gone near them. And most of the older guys I dated wanted me to settle down with them. But I wasn't nearly as serious about them as they were me. But they did take me to nice places and bought me pretty things. One even offered to pay for the rest of my college education. The guys on this thread are teaching me that I should have used all those guys for every penny they were worth. Because that's what it comes down to for certain guys. And I should play by the same rules and be just like those guys. But at the end of the day, that's not the kind of woman I want to be. And I know better then ever what kind of man I respect and want in my life. And it's not the type of man that treats age like a commodity. Puts women his own age down. And tries to tell himself he's a great catch.

 

DY, even though I agree with a lot of what you have been saying on this thread, like another poster stated a few pages back to you, it is best to let it drop.You cannot change their perspective. You are arguing into a vacuum of futility.

 

Culturally, we are used to significant age gaps between men and women, but this only happened when humans created civilizations. (Prehistoric,non-agrarian societies did not have that issue and thus both sexes pretty much paired off and died off at roughly the same age.) Think about it. You had younger men going off to get killed in some endless war and what was usually left behind? Older men and younger women. Older men (20+) could marry/mate woman as young as 12 but the problem was made worse by the fact that so many women faced the rea ldanger of dying in childbirth. This doesn't take into account femicidal or killing of girl children to make way for sons, especially in the Greek world,which further disrupted the sex ratio and made it more advantageous for older males.

 

Women in the last fifty years, have acquired rights and advantages that are simply unprecedented in human history. Therefore to expect greater introspection and sensitivity to women's concerns from men is very unrealistic and you are dispensing a lot of energy into forcing a segment of men to express empathy. I understand it is frustrating, disheartening, and perhaps demoralizing, but you cannot change 5000 millennia of cultural programming especially when many men have enjoyed this advantage for a long time. I expect that after at least a century has passed, that male/female dynamics will have changed to reflect a more egalitarian mindset, but your best bet now is to focus on the type of men that appreciate women for who they are despite the wrinkles, the supposed "baggage", the cellulite and lack of luster of "youthful" good looks. Sure they are rare, but it they are not a statistical improbability.

[RedRobin]

But doesn't everyone want a partner who drools over them? Many older guys are drool-worthy.

 

And guys--admit it--plenty of women in their 30s and up and drool-worthy, too.

 

Kindness and integrity are extremely important, but not necessarily what gets a person to click on your "profile".

 

Maybe the problem is OLD, and not actually the older men, or older women.

 

I get what Pink in the Limo is saying though. When guys in OLD dismiss women their own age and have all this stuff saying they are young at heart, blah blah.. It's as if only THEY are capable of being the 'exception' for someone that age.

 

It's a really crappy marketing technique on their part. It seriously turns away women their own age who are all that and a bag of chips. The ones who aren't out trolling for younger men but who are just living a full, exciting life (and who happen to look good doing it too).

 

They are shooting themselves in the foot. Waaaay too many of these guys have emailed me and I'm not interested for all of the reasons that DY has listed so well. They don't give a crap (really) about what makes a woman. Or so it seems. I'm not interested in being a placeholder until they fulfill their 'dream' of having a younger woman just to say they can.

 

Big fat PASS.

[phineas]

Why wouldn't he search for a young woman who will love him instead of an older woman he has no attraction to. It would seem he is setting himself up for failure by doing this.

 

I don't know.

I'm not close with these guys.

Their friends of friends or just someone I might see once in a while.

 

Probably because younger women want kids & a woman his own age doesn't.

[phineas]

I get what Pink in the Limo is saying though. When guys in OLD dismiss women their own age and have all this stuff saying they are young at heart, blah blah.. It's as if only THEY are capable of being the 'exception' for someone that age.

 

It's a really crappy marketing technique on their part. It seriously turns away women their own age who are all that and a bag of chips. The ones who aren't out trolling for younger men but who are just living a full, exciting life (and who happen to look good doing it too).

 

They are shooting themselves in the foot. Waaaay too many of these guys have emailed me and I'm not interested for all of the reasons that DY has listed so well. They don't give a crap (really) about what makes a woman. Or so it seems. I'm not interested in being a placeholder until they fulfill their 'dream' of having a younger woman just to say they can.

 

Big fat PASS.

 

what I don't understand is why not just move to the next one?

I click on hundreds of profiles & if I see i don't make their e-stats I just laugh to myself because of how unrealistic they are & move on.

 

I don't get why people feel the need to start threads bitching about it.

 

funnily enough I get women winking at me or sending messages even though I don't meet their requirements.

[PlumPrincess]

LOL!

Stop projecting.

YOU put words in MY mouth & then tell me to grow up when I put you to task for it?

 

typical LS woman.

You wanted me to explain why your preference regarding size was absurd while I have not mentioned it at all! Obviously, you're totally paranoid. I'm out of this discussion, stupid.

[PlumPrincess]

TO EACH WOMAN HERE. I HATE WOMEN. So I HATE YOU.

That's a logically consistent conclusion. I'm cool with it. Thanks.

[PinkInTheLimo]

But doesn't everyone want a partner who drools over them? Many older guys are drool-worthy.

 

You want your partner to be attracted and attractive to you, that's normal. But I think it should be in a realistic way and not be in a "feeding-his-ego" way.

What turns me off in a lot of men is the way they think they are "god's gift to women". Most of the time they really aren't.

 

This going for younger women has "I am an older guy but still incredibly hot so I DESERVE a younger woman" all over it.

 

Just saw on Facebook how a guy my age who was at university with me has posted a picture of his new girlfriend. Since his first wife cheated on him and divorced him he has this thing for black women. He married a black woman 15 years younger. She was not even pretty and in their divorce she tried to steal as much money as possible from him. During his divorce he put himself as "Engaged" with another black woman on Facebook. Turned out that one also was only interested in his money.

Now he is on Facebook hand in hand with a black woman who is not even 30 I think.

This guy is not handsome, he is really ugly and as a matter of fact, I never liked him because I found him very patronising and not very attentive. No woman his age would want to be with him, not even a woman from our country I think because he is not an attentive partner. So the only women he can get are women who are immigrants in our country and are happy to have a guy who takes care of them.

 

These are not balanced relationships.

[RedRobin]

...but your best bet now is to focus on the type of men that appreciate women for who they are despite the wrinkles, the supposed "baggage", the cellulite and lack of luster of "youthful" good looks. Sure they are rare, but it they are not a statistical improbability.

 

Despite the garbage on LS, they aren't that rare at all.

 

They just usually can't be found on OLD sites and they tend to stay with the women whom they marry.

[RedRobin]

what I don't understand is why not just move to the next one?

I click on hundreds of profiles & if I see i don't make their e-stats I just laugh to myself because of how unrealistic they are & move on.

 

I don't get why people feel the need to start threads bitching about it.

 

funnily enough I get women winking at me or sending messages even though I don't meet their requirements.

 

I think it is ok to vent now and then. If people get stuck in it, then that's a problem.

 

I stopped doing OLD because it didn't make me feel good about men and really don't need regular reminders of the run-of-the mill shallowness. Plus, I was also tired of being kind of the circus freak there. Not worth it. I'll stick to my own kind or find a place where women like me aren't 'freaks'

 

If I get desperate, I suppose I could go back there for a fling posing as a 'relationship'. Seems like that is what most people there are up to anyway.

[Woggle]

You want your partner to be attracted and attractive to you, that's normal. But I think it should be in a realistic way and not be in a "feeding-his-ego" way.

What turns me off in a lot of men is the way they think they are "god's gift to women". Most of the time they really aren't.

 

This going for younger women has "I am an older guy but still incredibly hot so I DESERVE a younger woman" all over it.

 

Just saw on Facebook how a guy my age who was at university with me has posted a picture of his new girlfriend. Since his first wife cheated on him and divorced him he has this thing for black women. He married a black woman 15 years younger. She was not even pretty and in their divorce she tried to steal as much money as possible from him. During his divorce he put himself as "Engaged" with another black woman on Facebook. Turned out that one also was only interested in his money.

Now he is on Facebook hand in hand with a black woman who is not even 30 I think.

This guy is not handsome, he is really ugly and as a matter of fact, I never liked him because I found him very patronising and not very attentive. No woman his age would want to be with him, not even a woman from our country I think because he is not an attentive partner. So the only women he can get are women who are immigrants in our country and are happy to have a guy who takes care of them.

 

These are not balanced relationships.

 

It sounds like he is still hurt and just went through a nasty divorce and is going a little wild. Why not let him have that as long as he isn't hurting anybody? I have seen freshly divorced women acting the same way. Who doesn't like a little ego boost after getting your heart ripped out. I did the same thing after my divorce but I eventually found a good woman.

[phineas]

You wanted me to explain why your preference regarding size was absurd while I have not mentioned it at all! Obviously, you're totally paranoid. I'm out of this discussion, stupid.

 

White flag accepted.

[phineas]

I think it is ok to vent now and then. If people get stuck in it, then that's a problem.

 

I stopped doing OLD because it didn't make me feel good about men and really don't need regular reminders of the run-of-the mill shallowness. Plus, I was also tired of being kind of the circus freak there. Not worth it. I'll stick to my own kind or find a place where women like me aren't 'freaks'

 

If I get desperate, I suppose I could go back there for a fling posing as a 'relationship'. Seems like that is what most people there are up to anyway.

 

What do you mean by circus freak?

[personontheinternet]

It's obviously because of sexism and male-entitlement, and I'm not sorry to say it. I just turned 21 and I've had these 40+ males hitting on me since I can't even remember when. To make it worse, I look much younger than I really am, so it wouldn't surprise me if these guys think I'm actually around 16 years old. I'm always uncomfortable when it happens and I see them all as a bunch of pathetic creepy *******s who haven't grown up. The fact is that most older men make younger women uncomfortable when they hit on them, but hey, it doesn't matter right? As long as the guy gets what he wants, who gives damn about the woman in the situation?

 

Women have been made to feel like our job is to be attractive to men, to the point that if you're not attractive you're made to feel like you fail as a woman. And this attitude is deeply ingrained most men. I can't even tell you how many times I've heard men say things like "I don't really see her as a girl" or "she doesn't count" when referring to women they don't think are beautiful.

 

Men are made to feel like they're entitled to have whatever woman they want, regardless of what they themselves, the men, look like. Women on the other hand, are labelled "shallow cunts" or "superficial bitches" if they dare to say that they want attractive men.

 

Have you ever noticed that in pretty much every "unlikely couple" movie out there, "ugly" women ALWAYS have to become beautiful before the main male protagonist shows any romantic interest? And yet, when the roles are reversed in movies and television, extremely attractive women are made to fall in love with ugly, pathetic men because they just "accept who they are". And guess what people, about 99% of these movies are written, directed, and produced by MEN. Which is why they are such obvious male fantasies. In both scenarios, they win.

 

You also have idiots walking around trying to justify their disgusting attraction to much younger girls by using weak, "biological" arguments that have long been debunked. Stop trying to play it off like you're chasing a young girl because she's more "fertile" than women in your age range. We all know it's bull****. In fact, most of these men chasing young girls DON'T WANT KIDS, so stop trying to convince us that there's some primal urge driving you that you can't control. This isn't new, though. People have long been using bogus science to justify their stupid behavior or prejudices. It wasn't too long ago that evolution was being used to prove that black people were "closer" to the apes than other races.

 

The real reason older men want younger girls is because, whether they admit it or not, they're looking for someone has less life experience, will more easily give in to their "authority" due to being more naive and easily manipulated, and obviously, because these young girls have the appearance that these men have been taught to want.

 

All this crap comes from marketing and a sexist culture. Guess what guys, most of us young girls find you creepy. We want hot men our own ages. The majority of girls who get into relationships with older men end up regretting once they reach the ages of 30 and 40. With retrospection on the relationship, they realize they've been used and manipulated. And yes, I know someone will probably come out and say, "But I know a girl who was happy with a 40 year-old!" but I don't care. Even if I believed you, that girl is an exception.

 

Grow up and accept women your own age. I find it repulsive and hypocritical that these idiotic men have the nerve to look down on women for aging. But it all goes back to what I was saying before: if you're not longer considered "attractive" a lot of men will stop looking at you as a real woman. It's pathetic.

 

Anyone who wants to really learn about it, watch/read the following:

 

Killing Us Softly 4 (2010) - 1/2 - YouTube

Killing Us Softly 4 (2010) - 2/2 - YouTube

 

What young women are really looking for from older men

[Shaun-Dro]

It's obviously because of sexism and male-entitlement, and I'm not sorry to say it. I just turned 21 and I've had these 40+ males hitting on me since I can't even remember when. To make it worse, I look much younger than I really am, so it wouldn't surprise me if these guys think I'm actually around 16 years old. I'm always uncomfortable when it happens and I see them all as a bunch of pathetic creepy *******s who haven't grown up. The fact is that most older men make younger women uncomfortable when they hit on them, but hey, it doesn't matter right? As long as the guy gets what he wants, who gives damn about the woman in the situation?

 

Women have been made to feel like our job is to be attractive to men, to the point that if you're not attractive you're made to feel like you fail as a woman. And this attitude is deeply ingrained most men. I can't even tell you how many times I've heard men say things like "I don't really see her as a girl" or "she doesn't count" when referring to women they don't think are beautiful.

 

Men are made to feel like they're entitled to have whatever woman they want, regardless of what they themselves, the men, look like. Women on the other hand, are labelled "shallow cunts" or "superficial bitches" if they dare to say that they want attractive men.

 

Have you ever noticed that in pretty much every "unlikely couple" movie out there, "ugly" women ALWAYS have to become beautiful before the main male protagonist shows any romantic interest? And yet, when the roles are reversed in movies and television, extremely attractive women are made to fall in love with ugly, pathetic men because they just "accept who they are". And guess what people, about 99% of these movies are written, directed, and produced by MEN. Which is why they are such obvious male fantasies. In both scenarios, they win.

 

You also have idiots walking around trying to justify their disgusting attraction to much younger girls by using weak, "biological" arguments that have long been debunked. Stop trying to play it off like you're chasing a young girl because she's more "fertile" than women in your age range. We all know it's bull****. In fact, most of these men chasing young girls DON'T WANT KIDS, so stop trying to convince us that there's some primal urge driving you that you can't control. This isn't new, though. People have long been using bogus science to justify their stupid behavior or prejudices. It wasn't too long ago that evolution was being used to prove that black people were "closer" to the apes than other races.

 

The real reason older men want younger girls is because, whether they admit it or not, they're looking for someone has less life experience, will more easily give in to their "authority" due to being more naive and easily manipulated, and obviously, because these young girls have the appearance that these men have been taught to want.

 

All this crap comes from marketing and a sexist culture. Guess what guys, most of us young girls find you creepy. We want hot men our own ages. The majority of girls who get into relationships with older men end up regretting once they reach the ages of 30 and 40. With retrospection on the relationship, they realize they've been used and manipulated. And yes, I know someone will probably come out and say, "But I know a girl who was happy with a 40 year-old!" but I don't care. Even if I believed you, that girl is an exception.

 

Grow up and accept women your own age. I find it repulsive and hypocritical that these idiotic men have the nerve to look down on women for aging. But it all goes back to what I was saying before: if you're not longer considered "attractive" a lot of men will stop looking at you as a real woman. It's pathetic.

 

Anyone who wants to really learn about it, watch/read the following:

 

Killing Us Softly 4 (2010) - 1/2 - YouTube

Killing Us Softly 4 (2010) - 2/2 - YouTube

 

What young women are really looking for from older men

 

Stop whining. Your rants aren't going to change our views of women, so why bother with all this mess? Just accept that your youth and beauty is what makes a man value you, period.

[Els]

It's obviously because of sexism and male-entitlement, and I'm not sorry to say it. I just turned 21 and I've had these 40+ males hitting on me since I can't even remember when. To make it worse, I look much younger than I really am, so it wouldn't surprise me if these guys think I'm actually around 16 years old. I'm always uncomfortable when it happens and I see them all as a bunch of pathetic creepy *******s who haven't grown up. The fact is that most older men make younger women uncomfortable when they hit on them, but hey, it doesn't matter right? As long as the guy gets what he wants, who gives damn about the woman in the situation?

 

I agree that 40+ y/o males hitting on me is creepy, but I just turn them down without letting it affect me negatively. Perhaps if you did that too, you would find the issue less irksome? Those guys are really just shooting themselves in the foot, so does it really matter? Don't let it taint your view of all guys. Not all men are the same, and to assume they are is slightly dehumanizing.

[FitChick]

Probably because younger women want kids & [he wants] a woman his own age [who] doesn't.

 

Men risk what is left of their finances by having more kids, getting another divorce and supporting yet another wife and family for eighteen years. A woman his own age generally has kids of her own, as well as property and money gained in her own divorce. They both want a prenup to protect their assets and kids by the previous marriage. It makes their current marriage less risky financially speaking. The odds are in their favor if their kids don't live with them.

[personontheinternet]

Some of them are very insistent and don't get the hint. It's happened more than once where I've had to have others intervene.

 

And to be honest, I'm not worried about men in this situation. If you're an older man hitting on a much younger girl, I will automatically look down on you, as you deserve to be.