Why do older guys go for the much younger girl?

[ariadne999]

Stop whining. Your rants aren't going to change our views of women, so why bother with all this mess? Just accept that your youth and beauty is what makes a man value you, period.

 

 

cool. So we should accept that if we are not young and pretty, then we have no value. So is that no value as people or just no value to men?

 

So then are you cool that unless you, the man, are either super hot or super rich you too, have NO value what so ever? And if a women has her own money she will chuck your ass in the garbage can the second we're bored with you.

 

Fine by me, I see men as useless anyway. Feel bad for the women who are dumbn enough to want families.

[TheFinalWord]

I just started recently on the dating sites. What I am finding the most frustrating is the guys on there who are my age (38) wont even have a look at me - they all want the 20yr olds. BTW I dont look my age in the least bit - I could pass for late 20's early 30's. On that note too - I get like 50yr old & 60yr old men messaging me!!! Really!! Why would I want to go out with someone who could be my father? Its just so frustrating - what goes through your guys minds? Do you really think you have a chance? I am in in no way looking for a sugar daddy - I just want to meet someone close to my age (I would entertain 6-7 years older or younger than me) I just wanted some insight as I am new to the online dating world after being recently divorced after 17yrs of marriage.

 

You're almost 40, guys that are messaging you that are age 50 is gross? That's confusing to me. So your dad was 10 when he had you?

 

How do you know these guys are messaging 20 year olds? B/c it's in their Match preferences? Well, that's the same way guys feel when you see a girl and all their match preferences are for guys 6'0"+ LOL

 

Guys tend to like younger women because they *tend* to look better (PS a lot of women think they look younger than they actually do).

 

It also depends on the site you're on. Some of those sites are for hooking up, primarily.

[Zed]

Some of them are very insistent and don't get the hint. It's happened more than once where I've had to have others intervene.

 

And to be honest, I'm not worried about men in this situation. If you're an older man hitting on a much younger girl, I will automatically look down on you, as you deserve to be.

Which is why I cautioned to DY, to let it go. As I said, it is not going tochange anytime soon, so why fight it. Set appropriate boundaries and decline their advances.

 

I do agree with you that evo pysh biological arguments that are used to justify old man/young women dating marrying patterns are mostly false. This"preference" is cultural and not biological or genetic--therefore it can change

 

However, date the guys your age that you want and forget about the olderguys. It's not worth it--especially as you identified that you are only 21. You have plenty of time to enjoy the guys your age and your own life.

[stillafool]

You want your partner to be attracted and attractive to you, that's normal. But I think it should be in a realistic way and not be in a "feeding-his-ego" way.

What turns me off in a lot of men is the way they think they are "god's gift to women". Most of the time they really aren't.

 

This going for younger women has "I am an older guy but still incredibly hot so I DESERVE a younger woman" all over it.

 

Just saw on Facebook how a guy my age who was at university with me has posted a picture of his new girlfriend. Since his first wife cheated on him and divorced him he has this thing for black women. He married a black woman 15 years younger. She was not even pretty and in their divorce she tried to steal as much money as possible from him. During his divorce he put himself as "Engaged" with another black woman on Facebook. Turned out that one also was only interested in his money.

Now he is on Facebook hand in hand with a black woman who is not even 30 I think.

This guy is not handsome, he is really ugly and as a matter of fact, I never liked him because I found him very patronising and not very attentive. No woman his age would want to be with him, not even a woman from our country I think because he is not an attentive partner. So the only women he can get are women who are immigrants in our country and are happy to have a guy who takes care of them.

 

These are not balanced relationships.

 

What does the women being black have to do with it? Are they women from another country?

[Badsingularity]

It's obviously because of sexism and male-entitlement, and I'm not sorry to say it. I just turned 21 and I've had these 40+ males hitting on me since I can't even remember when. To make it worse, I look much younger than I really am, so it wouldn't surprise me if these guys think I'm actually around 16 years old. I'm always uncomfortable when it happens and I see them all as a bunch of pathetic creepy *******s who haven't grown up. The fact is that most older men make younger women uncomfortable when they hit on them, but hey, it doesn't matter right? As long as the guy gets what he wants, who gives damn about the woman in the situation?

 

Women have been made to feel like our job is to be attractive to men, to the point that if you're not attractive you're made to feel like you fail as a woman. And this attitude is deeply ingrained most men. I can't even tell you how many times I've heard men say things like "I don't really see her as a girl" or "she doesn't count" when referring to women they don't think are beautiful.

 

Men are made to feel like they're entitled to have whatever woman they want, regardless of what they themselves, the men, look like. Women on the other hand, are labelled "shallow cunts" or "superficial bitches" if they dare to say that they want attractive men.

 

Have you ever noticed that in pretty much every "unlikely couple" movie out there, "ugly" women ALWAYS have to become beautiful before the main male protagonist shows any romantic interest? And yet, when the roles are reversed in movies and television, extremely attractive women are made to fall in love with ugly, pathetic men because they just "accept who they are". And guess what people, about 99% of these movies are written, directed, and produced by MEN. Which is why they are such obvious male fantasies. In both scenarios, they win.

 

You also have idiots walking around trying to justify their disgusting attraction to much younger girls by using weak, "biological" arguments that have long been debunked. Stop trying to play it off like you're chasing a young girl because she's more "fertile" than women in your age range. We all know it's bull****. In fact, most of these men chasing young girls DON'T WANT KIDS, so stop trying to convince us that there's some primal urge driving you that you can't control. This isn't new, though. People have long been using bogus science to justify their stupid behavior or prejudices. It wasn't too long ago that evolution was being used to prove that black people were "closer" to the apes than other races.

 

The real reason older men want younger girls is because, whether they admit it or not, they're looking for someone has less life experience, will more easily give in to their "authority" due to being more naive and easily manipulated, and obviously, because these young girls have the appearance that these men have been taught to want.

 

All this crap comes from marketing and a sexist culture. Guess what guys, most of us young girls find you creepy. We want hot men our own ages. The majority of girls who get into relationships with older men end up regretting once they reach the ages of 30 and 40. With retrospection on the relationship, they realize they've been used and manipulated. And yes, I know someone will probably come out and say, "But I know a girl who was happy with a 40 year-old!" but I don't care. Even if I believed you, that girl is an exception.

 

Grow up and accept women your own age. I find it repulsive and hypocritical that these idiotic men have the nerve to look down on women for aging. But it all goes back to what I was saying before: if you're not longer considered "attractive" a lot of men will stop looking at you as a real woman. It's pathetic.

 

Anyone who wants to really learn about it, watch/read the following:

 

Killing Us Softly 4 (2010) - 1/2 - YouTube

Killing Us Softly 4 (2010) - 2/2 - YouTube

 

What young women are really looking for from older men

 

Your post shows a complete lack of understanding of human nature and of how men work and how they are different from women.

 

The most attractive women to any mature adult attractive man is a woman who has tryed to understand how men work, realize and accept that men are different from women and that it is not something they choose, and who has actually tried to put herself in mens shoes and see things from their point of view.

 

Women like this are rare and hard to find. I have found one like this and that's one of the main reasons I'm marrying her and will stay with her into old age.

[RedRobin]

Did March 2012 bring out the trolls, or what?!

 

For all the non-trolls... I'd like to think I'm going to be god's gift to a man and that he will be god's gift to me.

 

There is no point in assuming we are 'less than' simply due to factors out of our control.

 

I will continue to make the most of what I was born with...both inside and out... at any age, and hope that the people around me can see that.

 

I have my moments when I despair, and feel down. When I wonder if I'm 'good enough' or will anyone love me or love me again. That makes me human.

[xxoo]

The most attractive women to any mature adult attractive man is a woman who has tryed to understand how men work, realize and accept that men are different from women and that it is not something they choose, and who has actually tried to put herself in mens shoes and see things from their point of view.

 

Women like this are rare and hard to find. I have found one like this and that's one of the main reasons I'm marrying her and will stay with her into old age.

 

I've heard this from men.

 

I also believe the same is true, in reverse. The most attractive man is one who accepts me as a woman, and doesn't respond with defensiveness and stereotypes to put me down when I have different needs from his. A man who tries to understand me and meet my needs, as I try to understand him and meet his--as different as they sometimes are.

 

And a good match is hard to find, period. If you found a good match, hold on and never let go

[Els]

Did March 2012 bring out the trolls, or what?!

 

Must be all the spring rain you guys are having. Daisies, buttercups, and trolls sprouting everywhere...

[Badsingularity]

 

I'd like to think I'm going to be god's gift to a man and that he will be god's gift to me.

 

 

There is no point in assuming we are 'less than' simply due to factors out of our control.

 

Just because people find certain superficial traits attractive does not mean that anyone is " less than" or worth less than someone else.

 

I will continue to make the most of what I was born with...both inside and out... at any age, and hope that the people around me can see that.

 

Good. This is what everyone should do and I'm sure that if you continue to learn and grow people will notice.

 

I have my moments when I despair, and feel down. When I wonder if I'm 'good enough' or will anyone love me or love me again. That makes me human.

 

Everyone does. I'm sure you will find what you are looking for especially if you continue to grow and work on yourself.

[ascendotum]

It's obviously because of sexism and male-entitlement, and I'm not sorry to say it. I just turned 21 and

.......

if you're not longer considered "attractive" a lot of men will stop looking at you as a real woman. It's pathetic.

 

Anyone who wants to really learn about it, watch/read the following:

 

Killing Us Softly 4 (2010) - 1/2 - YouTube

Killing Us Softly 4 (2010) - 2/2 - YouTube

 

What young women are really looking for from older men

 

Wow, so much resentment, and you only just turned 21. Older guys (who are likely unaware of their creepiness to some younger women) are free to try their luck with younger women, and you are free to tell them to sod off, if they are being disrespectful. Buying you a drink, making a compliment about you is not disrespectful imo, though you will likely find it creepy, just as you would with a young unattractive guy.

[Woggle]

Your post shows a complete lack of understanding of human nature and of how men work and how they are different from women.

 

The most attractive women to any mature adult attractive man is a woman who has tryed to understand how men work, realize and accept that men are different from women and that it is not something they choose, and who has actually tried to put herself in mens shoes and see things from their point of view.

 

Women like this are rare and hard to find. I have found one like this and that's one of the main reasons I'm marrying her and will stay with her into old age.

 

Exactly. There are is nothing more attractive than a woman of any age who gets men and genuinely tried to understand how we work.

[PlumPrincess]

I wonder how many of the guys who are telling personontheinternet to be cool about older guys approaching her would react if a woman who was 20-30 years older approached them and wanted to have sex with them. Are these cries of joy I'm hearing?

[Badsingularity]

I wonder how many of the guys who are telling personontheinternet to be cool about older guys approaching her would react if a woman who was 20-30 years older approached them and wanted to have sex with them. Are these cries of joy I'm hearing?

 

 

I've had this happen to me and I politley declined.

[Woggle]

I wonder how many of the guys who are telling personontheinternet to be cool about older guys approaching her would react if a woman who was 20-30 years older approached them and wanted to have sex with them. Are these cries of joy I'm hearing?

 

I know a good number of men who are into cougars actually. I wonder if you would be as sympathetic to men who were on here complaining about cougars.

[RedRobin]

 

 

 

Just because people find certain superficial traits attractive does not mean that anyone is " less than" or worth less than someone else.

 

 

 

Good. This is what everyone should do and I'm sure that if you continue to learn and grow people will notice.

 

 

 

Everyone does. I'm sure you will find what you are looking for especially if you continue to grow and work on yourself.

 

Thank you for the encouraging words congrats on your upcoming marriage!

[Badsingularity]

congrats on your upcoming marriage!

 

Thank you

[RedRobin]

I know a good number of men who are into cougars actually. I wonder if you would be as sympathetic to men who were on here complaining about cougars.

 

I don't know any cougars who feel entitled to a younger man. Younger men are attracted to them and vice versa and they just don't turn them away.

 

I could be a cougar. Oops! I have been a cougar. 11 years younger. That's my 'record'. My last serious BF was 9 years younger. But I have dated up to 14 years older too.

 

Life experience has taught me that close to my age is best.

[PlumPrincess]

I've had this happen to me and I politley declined.

So when you were in your twenties you had women older than you hit on you on a regular basis?

[Woggle]

So when you were in your twenties you had women older than you hit on you on a regular basis?

 

That's how I got such good tips as a bartender.

[ascendotum]

I wonder how many of the guys who are telling personontheinternet to be cool about older guys approaching her would react if a woman who was 20-30 years older approached them and wanted to have sex with them. Are these cries of joy I'm hearing?

 

It wont be cries of joy, but I'm not going to be pissed off with her, for finding me desirable and trying her luck. I'll politely knock her back IF she's not the least bit sexy (and its happened), I won't insult her or get on the www complaining about it.

If it was only women 25yrs older who flirted with me, I'd probably get a complex over it, but as long as I had succcess with women I found attractive, its no big deal, There's swings and roundabouts in the dating game. I'm not going to get insecure, over how dare she think I'm her league. I have no problem with older women doing the same as men.

[Badsingularity]

So when you were in your twenties you had women older than you hit on you on a regular basis?

 

Not on a regular bases, but several times. I was also groped by a woman last year that had to be 20 years older than me.

 

I tell women to try and understand men and accept that they have no control over what they find attractive, but I also tell men the same thing.

 

I know for a fact that my GF finds tall guys, (taller than me) guys with six packs, (I don't have a six pack) muscular guys, (more muscular than me) attractive. She thinks the actor that played in the newest conan movie is hot. I don't look anything like that guy:laugh:.

 

My point is that I understand and accept that she finds certain guys attractive that have traits that I don't have.

 

I don't try to shame her and punish her for it. I don't tell her that it's " disgusting" that she finds certain men with certain traits attractive.

I try to understand women and what they find attractive so I know that there is nothing wrong her and that it's not a choice for her.

 

I also know that she loves me and thinks I'm hot

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I agree, although I wouldn't limit this to just men, I think this is a cultural thing rather than gender based. People generally are scared of being introspective, and the ones who aren't, don''t even know how to do so. They are pretty comfortable with their view and their expression of it, so it's fruitless asking them to revise it.

 

I know a lot of guys who do have trouble looking inside themselves for they may not like what they see, and the guys who do look inside end up hating themselves and getting depression. It's a time of extremes, and people tend to swing from one side of the pendulum to the other.

 

To change that, would require mass reconditioning.

 

Fair point Wholigan. You are right. It is a cultural thing. Not just a gender thing. I just don't know why people fear looking at themselves. The past couple years I have taken a more serious look at my life and looking inside to who I was and the things I did and who I wanted to be and the things I wanted in or not in my life. I am a work in progress but I have made improvements. Both the introspection and adapting to change has only made me feel more hopeful about the person I want to become. I still make tons of mistakes but my ability to look at myself and acknowledge my weak points have only made me feel more powerful in my own life. It's given me a certain strength and freedom to be open about my faults. For example, when i was younger, I was very defensive about what my weak points. And now, when I do something wrong, or make a mistake, I acknowledge it. If someone tries to point something out to me, I try to listen instead of automatically get defensive and feel like they are picking on me. I don't always get it right but I have improved. I find myself thinking about things more and saying to the person I am talking to, "you know what, you are right. I shouldn't have done that and I apologize." And when you admit that to people, they are so kind and gracious about it.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Now, DY... find an example of something one of the male LS posters did here that gave you faith in men..

 

Write a few paragraphs to them praising all of the great work they've done and why it makes you feel hopeful and optimistic about men.

 

Because it isn't enough to show people what they are doing 'wrong'. You have to acknowledge and show appreciation for those things they are doing 'right' too. Can you do that?

 

Most of us are just doing the best with what we were born with and getting along the best we can.

 

I can do that RedRobin. Stay tunned. I am going to seriously take on your challenge.

 

Sure, there are people here who really are rather mercinary in their treatment of the other gender. You don't want to be that kind of person and neither do I. It hurts to think that maybe the world isn't fair and those kind of people can and sometimes to get ahead in this world. But we can't really worry about them too much.

 

You are right.

[Shaun-Dro]

cool. So we should accept that if we are not young and pretty, then we have no value. So is that no value as people or just no value to men?

 

So then are you cool that unless you, the man, are either super hot or super rich you too, have NO value what so ever? And if a women has her own money she will chuck your ass in the garbage can the second we're bored with you.

 

Fine by me, I see men as useless anyway. Feel bad for the women who are dumbn enough to want families.

 

Yea, whatever. Keep trolling your man-hate across the boards. I dont give a damn.

[lovelife7]

I've always wondered why i've always gotten much more attention from guys at least a few years older than me, as opposed to guys around my own age. I've dated two much older guys before, one was 10/11 years older than me and the other was 7/8 years older. I found them much easier to get along with and way more mature, there was no BS games. But on the flipside they didn't want anything serious, but neither did i. I think guys just don't see themselves as 'old', even if they're 10 years older than you they still see themselves as a young guy.