Why do older guys go for the much younger girl?

[Dust]

My point is, it's important to take in both sides of the story. If older men have had too many bad experiences with women their age and eventually, at some point, begin to form a preference for younger women based mostly on this experience... that is somewhat proof that these older men could be bitter, or "damaged goods" as well. Because wouldn't that count as a jaded/bitter mindset in them? And is it necessarily right to date younger women and have them experience the effects of this because you've had some bad experiences or made a few bad decisions with women your age?

 

Oh and Thieves is one of my favorites!

 

Baby you know I'm damaged goods. It's like I just went through hell and I want to take out all my frustration on your young and willing body... though I like older women too. But I really have a special place for the younger women. I mean my favorite older women look like young women and still have that cuteness. I've seen 40 year old women who can give 21 year olds a run for their money. Thing is people date who they are attracted to... so lets all just calm down. You could use a massage... from me.

 

What constitutes a reasonable answer, oh negative one??

 

 

Reasonable = agreeing unconditionaly with what ever they say lol

[boaaaar]

this is the cold hard truth that many men are trying to omit by talking about "younger women are more energetic, have less baggage, blah blah blah" but when it comes down to it, it's really just about shallow, superficial, vanishing reasons like looks.

 

suffice to say, i'm not surprised.

Negative Nancy brought us the cold hard truth : Another broad sweeping statement, no one is surprised.

[Dust]

The truth is when I'm 80 years old if I live that long... I'm only going to date teenagers.... you know like the Vampires in Twilight. I'm going to enroll back in HS and date a girl there. Now I'm in my late 20's so I don't mind being with a wider age range. Only teenagers when I get older though. Lock up your daughters... and your teenage wives!

[thatone]

 

Sure. And these days, there is the chance that your behavior will have bigger consequences than just her walking away. If she happens to be in a position to influence your life in some way down the road, you will be burning a bridge.

 

Something to think about.

 

 

 

Yea right. Last time I checked, men didn't have any lock on self-awareness.

 

 

 

No mind reading required. Just reality check on his part. And giving up the adolescent male version of Santa Claus and the Toothfairy fantasies that some men carry about younger women.

 

I corrected him and we went on our way. Not without some damage to our friendship though.

 

 

 

Because they need friends and mentors. But I can see altruism isn't high on some poster's lists. Which is my point exactly.

 

everyone wants their fantasies. only some people are foolish enough to believe they are in any way ever going to be real, that's all.

 

i don't know who the damage to friendship fault lies with but it's just going to happen. i don't think it's the fault of all men any more than it is the fault of all women that these things happen. they just do. if men are attracted to women they're going to approach them. i just see the reason in getting upset about it.

 

nor do i begrudge women who are with younger men or men who are with younger women. i don't think it's inherently right, wrong or indifferent. hell my past has a 20 year spread, i've dated women both 10 years younger than me and 10 years older.

 

either way i have put 2 and 2 together... you know me, altruism is for real life, loveshack is for being entertained by stereotypes .

[Thieves]

Oh and Thieves is one of my favorites!

 

Baby you know I'm damaged goods. It's like I just went through hell and I want to take out all my frustration on your young and willing body... though I like older women too. But I really have a special place for the younger women.

 

Oh, Dusty, I'm pretty sure I got it from the start that you have a tiny little soft spot for younger women. You're one of my favorites too, love, you know that.

 

The truth is when I'm 80 years old if I live that long... I'm only going to date teenagers.... you know like the Vampires in Twilight.

 

Okay, wow, I'm eating dinner and so did not need that image in my head right now. Nice going!

 

...So, how 'bout that massage?

[PhillyDude]

I have a fantasy that I would probably need BIG BUCKS to fulfill

 

"Making out with a young attractive female who is thin and 19-21 years old on a Friday night in the summer time"

 

LOL

 

 

I can dream can't I?

[RedRobin]

I don't think he loves her at all.

 

He loves her much like some people love their dog or a pet.

 

He doesn't care what happens to her when he dies (probably). He doesn't care that he's sucked up her life to benefit his... for the sole purpose of him having a younger wife and that's it.

 

Yes, that's his preference. Yes, if that is what people want, they can get it.

 

I just don't wanna hear any crap about how he loves her.

[Thieves]

I have a fantasy that I would probably need BIG BUCKS to fulfill

 

"Making out with a young attractive female who is thin and 19-21 years old on a Friday night in the summer time"

 

LOL

 

 

I can dream can't I?

 

So if she's 22, you'll turn her away?

[PhillyDude]

So if she's 22, you'll turn her away?

 

I guess 22 would be fine but I have a fantasy of being with a female who is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of me in every way

 

Weight-small

Health...good

Job......employed

Looks....Pretty

Height-short

 

 

LOL

[Woggle]

I see plenty of old couples where the man would not trade in his wife if he could for anybody. I admit there are some men who just want younger women but there are plenty of men who don't. I could have had a number of younger women who wanted a relationship with me but instead I chose to marry my wife.

 

Also most men don't want a man hater who wants all men to pay for the crimes of other men no matter what age they are.

[danny in van]

this is the cold hard truth that many men are trying to omit by talking about "younger women are more energetic, have less baggage, blah blah blah" but when it comes down to it, it's really just about shallow, superficial, vanishing reasons like looks.

 

suffice to say, i'm not surprised.

 

You're not a guy so u can only guess- but you don't think more energetic and less baggage is appealing?? And of course younger generally means more sexier- we're stating the obvious here.

Now you may convince other girls that it's 'shallow & superficial' and some guys will agree to sound 'mature' to you haha but if they agree then you should write them off as 'yes' men who r trying to appease u for some reason. Cuz no self aware man really thinks he's shallow for whatever it is that turns him on. It is inconvenient, impractical to yearn for someone who's younger- but shallow? You like what you like- and denying that doesn't make you 'deep' etc.

And whether you act on it is no one's business but you and the object of your desire.

Older females of course wanna label it 'shallow' to try to mould men's behavior (ya we all saw Clockwork Orange right?)...haha!

[gibson]

Gibson, I understand where you're coming from and can even agree at some points, but I think you're also contradicting yourself. If dating younger women wasn't at all about age (I'm focusing on the age aspect at the moment), then you would've substituted your choice of words, "younger women", with just "women".

 

By saying younger women, that means there must be something there that distinguishes the two groups in a positive and negative way (in your opinion). So it very much does have to do with age as a factor, or else you'd be much more open to dating women your age who don't have the negative qualities typically associated with older women.

 

More than anything, I'm interested in something else. What is your perspective on older men who also 'played the field' in their youth (as in their 20's), made bad decisions, possibly acquired some bad relationships along the way... and yet still prefer younger women as they age? Wouldn't this mean that for several of those older men, they somehow believe that they themselves are not jaded or have "baggage" from past experiences, just like women of their age?

 

And again, where are all these older women they're meeting with too much "baggage" getting their baggage from in the first place, as they certainly aren't dating themselves. It takes two to tango or to have a relationship, does it not? So do you honestly think that many men who are in their late 30's, 40's, and beyond are not just as jaded or bitter as their female counterparts?

 

My point is, it's important to take in both sides of the story. If older men have had too many bad experiences with women their age and eventually, at some point, begin to form a preference for younger women based mostly on this experience... that is somewhat proof that these older men could be bitter, or "damaged goods" as well. Because wouldn't that count as a jaded/bitter mindset in them? And is it necessarily right to date younger women and have them experience the effects of this because you've had some bad experiences or made a few bad decisions with women your age?

 

Great points!

 

I guess I should have said it just so happens that a majority of the "non-damaged" women, happen to be younger.

 

To your point, If I was women, I wouldn't date a "damage" man regardless of his age or mine. Why would you?

 

Do bitter women hating "older" men exist?

 

Heck yeah! This forum and this thread is full of them. (woggle, for example)

 

I didn't say all women in their late 20's and 30's are like the ones I describe. I have met and dated some amazing women in their 30's that had some bad experiences in their life through no fault of their own or brought about by bad choices on their part. The difference between those and the women I was referring to in this thread... They did the hard work to deal with, overcome and properly heal from those their bad experiences. They were not angry, biter, miserable or taking anything out on me. They were happy and a joy to be around. All I was saying is it's about impossible to find one of these.

 

It frustrates me to run into these women who are in their late 20's and 30's who expect me to "fix" them or take the punishment and deal with their "damage" and get pissed when I don't want too. I haven't been divorced, I don't have kids, I have been wise with my money, I have a career, I am not angry or bitter, I don't have debt, I didn't sleep with half of the women in my state, I don't have STDs, I took care of my health, I am in great shape, I don't have a drinking or drug problem, etc.

 

Why should I have to be with a bitter and angry women who is pissed off at herself and all men and also in debt up to her eyeballs, slept with every loser in town, deal with her ex "bad boy" husband and bad kids, etc.?

 

Truth is, the game is rigged and women haven't figured that out yet.

 

Men in general become more "distinguished" and "better" looking at they get older and even if they aren't... there is always going to be plenty women (young / old) to choose from. Women on the hand, usually are not afforded the same luxury as men and you can talk about "cougars" all day long but truth is 99% of you aren't going to look like Demi and even if you did, the guy is still going to leave you at some point.

 

So if women in their 20's want to follow in the footsteps and model their life after Kim Kardashian, Brittney Spears and Snooky... Fine. But be prepared when you are in your 30's for men of quality and substance to take a pass on you for the early to mid 20 year olds that doesn't want to follow in your, Kim's, Brittney's and Snooky's footsteps.

 

Is it fair? Not at all but still the game and the rules we all play by.

Edited March 30, 2012 by gibson

[Els]

But be prepared when you are in your 30's for men of quality and substance to take a pass on you for the early to mid 20 year olds that doesn't want to follow in your, Kim's, Brittney's and Snooky's footsteps.

 

Is it fair? Not at all but still the game and the rules we all play by.

 

To be perfectly honest, as a woman in her 20s, when a 30-40 year old man blatantly hits on me, the first thing that I think about him is not that he's a man of 'quality and substance'.

[123321]

So if women in their 20's want to follow in the footsteps and model their life after Kim Kardashian, Brittney Spears and Snooky... Fine. But be prepared when you are in your 30's for men of quality and substance to take a pass on you for the early to mid 20 year olds that doesn't want to follow in your, Kim's, Brittney's and Snooky's footsteps.

 

That's a fact of life and many just don't want it to be so. Maybe it's not right or whatever but the fact is that if a woman wants to hook the cream of the man-crop she should get with it while the lure nature gave her is as shiny as possible. Once the guy is sold (so to speak) it's a lot easier to hang onto each other for a variety of reasons.

 

"Why shouldn't I be able to [play around]/[have a great career]/[whatever] until I'm 35 and then get into a great relationship with a great guy?"

 

Well they should be able to I guess but the fact is that for many it's not gonna happen that way.

[PhillyDude]

To be perfectly honest, as a woman in her 20s, when a 30-40 year old man blatantly hits on me, the first thing that I think about him is not that he's a man of 'quality and substance'.

 

 

20's what? Are you late 20's...27-29? And if so that type of thinking would be STUPID

 

 

So I hope you are 20-22 years old

[Els]

20's what? Are you late 20's...27-29? And if so that type of thinking would be STUPID

 

 

So I hope you are 20-22 years old

 

Why does it matter? It's a principle that has worked wonderfully for me, so it's certainly not stupid on my behalf. As for those men, well, the posters above appear to believe that there are hordes of young women happy and eager to be with them, so surely it's no dent in their shell.

[gibson]

To be perfectly honest, as a woman in her 20s, when a 30-40 year old man blatantly hits on me, the first thing that I think about him is not that he's a man of 'quality and substance'.

 

I feel the same way when an angry and bitter women who throughout her 20's dated ever loser and "bad boy" in her 20's hits on me.

 

Like I said... The game is rigged. Although you mind, there always will be PLENTY of other younger women that don't mind and prefer older men.

 

My advice... don't follow in the footsteps of Brittney and Snooky through your 20's. The consequences of it in your 30's are far worse for a women than it is for a man who does the same thing.

 

Not fair at all... but still how it works out.

[joystickd]

I see the pity session still continues. There is a reason I say that.

[Els]

I feel the same way when an angry and bitter women who throughout her 20's dated ever loser and "bad boy" in her 20's hits on me.

 

Like I said... The game is rigged. Although you mind, there always will be PLENTY of other younger women that don't mind and prefer older men.

 

My advice... don't follow in the footsteps of Brittney and Snooky through your 20's. The consequences of it in your 30's are far worse for a women than it is for a man who does the same thing.

 

Not fair at all... but still how it works out.

 

Hey, if it works for you, great. It just amuses me how you seemed to imply that men of 'quality and substance' always singlemindedly go for women 10+ years younger than them. I can assure you, that many people do not view the men who do so, as men of 'quality and substance' at all. I can see how such a man would happen to fall in love with a woman younger than him, due to circumstance or just coincidence, but I cannot see how such a man would only ever pursue women much, much younger than him. To me, that speaks of an extremely superficial personality, that places appearance and youth above a mental and emotional connection... unless, of course, the 40 year old man has the mental and emotional maturity of a 20 year old, which isn't terribly attractive either.

 

Because, let's face it, the only differences that separate a 40 year old man and a 40 year old woman, in general, are superficialities. It is simply that more women than men value status and career over youth and appearance, and vice versa. You may tell yourself that men get 'more attractive' as they grow older, but I can assure you that this is not the case. For the most part, the older men with 'hot' young girls on their arms are fairly successful and wealthy. Thus, it is a business trade of sorts. Her youth and beauty, for his status and wealth. If this is the sort of trade you favour, great. But it is delusional to think that the young women who are with such men, are with them for their 'quality personalities' or 'dignified appearance', for the most part, any more than he is with her for her 'brilliant mind and caring personality'. I'm sure there are exceptions, but it really is not the case for many of them.

 

I, personally, prefer to not treat love as a business trade, and am not interested in trading up my youth for wealth. I am happy with men either the same age as myself or close to it, men whom I can relate with in terms of life experience, maturity, goals, and intellect. And fear not, I most certainly do not intend to follow in the footsteps of Britney or Snooki.

[PhillyDude]

Look it's simple

 

Most men want "Young and Fresh P*ssy" instead of.........LMAO

 

 

 

I couldn't ressist

[AIDsFan1488]

Just like most women don't find men who are even "just" 3 inches taller attractive if they have a choice, men who can afford a younger women don't date women their own age.

[Els]

Look it's simple

 

Most men want "Young and Fresh P*ssy" instead of.........LMAO

 

 

 

I couldn't ressist

 

:sick:

 

You know, the thing that saddens me the most when I read your posts, is that you've actually managed to get a couple of dates, while somedude hasn't. Life really isn't fair, eh?

[PhillyDude]

:sick:

 

You know, the thing that saddens me the most when I read your posts, is that you've actually managed to get a couple of dates, while somedude hasn't. Life really isn't fair, eh?

 

I was joking

[xxoo]

I don't think he loves her at all.

 

He loves her much like some people love their dog or a pet.

 

He doesn't care what happens to her when he dies (probably). He doesn't care that he's sucked up her life to benefit his... for the sole purpose of him having a younger wife and that's it.

 

Yes, that's his preference. Yes, if that is what people want, they can get it.

 

I just don't wanna hear any crap about how he loves her.

 

Who are you talking about?

[Thieves]

Great points!

 

I guess I should have said it just so happens that a majority of the "non-damaged" women, happen to be younger.

 

To your point, If I was women, I wouldn't date a "damage" man regardless of his age or mine. Why would you?

 

I agree with the first half of your response, since I think that if you do take care of yourself and generally have your sh*t together, then that's a good enough reason to want a partner who's similar. I'm not sure if these good older women are really almost impossible to find, though, as I used to think in that way myself when I had a certain preference in men. Sometimes we can be so set on our own preferences that we end up missing other good potential partners when they're presented to us.

 

Truth is, the game is rigged and women haven't figured that out yet.

 

This is where we part as far as agreements.

 

The truth is, and this is something I've observed on these forums, many men seem to love to give out the "Karma" logic. In a nutshell, in response to women who may get upset about why certain men date women much younger than them, it's where some men get it into their minds that eventually older women who may have made mistakes in the past will suffer for it in the future, not only because that can happen to any man or woman who's made bad decisions, but specifically because they're older women and "men ultimately have it better as they age."

 

And while this may be true at times (that these women will have consequences for their lack of maturity among other reasons), it still isn't true for a great number of older women. I think some men like to think it gets better for them as they age, because if it didn't, well... then they'd be at the same perceived 'disadvantage' as women their own age. And if they feel they were at disadvantage when they were younger too, then things haven't gotten much better, have they? It sounds more like a way of evening things out, even if it's not how it is half of the time. What I don't get is how both genders seems to want to have a leg up on the other, as if they're always competing about who will have it better.