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His work stress :(

HeavenOrHell

By HeavenOrHell,
in Long-Distance Relationships

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threebyfate

threebyfate

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Lots of excuses, HeavenOrHell. But you're giving him what he needs without any return. In setting up this type of dynamic, it will always be all about him.

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HeavenOrHell

HeavenOrHell

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Like I said, things are improving, so I'll see how it goes, too early to say.

 

 

Lots of excuses, HeavenOrHell. But you're giving him what he needs without any return. In setting up this type of dynamic, it will always be all about him.
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folieadeux

folieadeux

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Thank you :)

Things seem to be improving, please keep your fingers crossed..

 

Fingers and toes crossed :)

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HeavenOrHell

HeavenOrHell

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I'm busier than him lately, but not under pressure like he is, he sounds like a different person at the weekends, so much more himself and relaxed, happy and talkative, in the week he often sounds so tired and unhappy.

Things will slow down for me in Autumn, we're making time for each other every day, a two way thing, despite everything, and he's mentioned visiting, just hope he'll feel able to ask for time off before too long, he's too soft and lacking in confidence, and his company are taking the p*ss somewhat, just seems like a lot of people are under pressure (in general) these days to not lose their jobs and the companies/bosses get away with giving too much work to too few employees. Although his company let a few people go last year as they couldn't afford to keep them on anymore :( But his job is quite specialised, and his job is secure.

I've been quite stressed and tired lately but he's been there for me, equally as I am for him.

Anyway, hope to see him before too long.

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KylesFloating

KylesFloating

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Hey, I'm really sorry...because I am that guy. Obviously to a different girl, but I am so that guy.

 

I do have plans though to get out. Does your man? Because, frankly my work situation will only get worse and more demanding unless I have a plan to remedy the situation. My plan is to go into business for myself and I am actively looking at other career options--but there's also a balance of the fact that it's hard to walk away from a lucrative opportunity in this economy. I won't do it for more than a year, but I feel so bad and apologize profusely to the girl because I know it makes me be more distant than I'd like.

 

It killed me when she said, "I could die and you wouldn't even notice" and she was exaggerating but I care...alright...love her so much that it really upset me she felt that way. I was mad at myself, and frustrated with my job. I took a few months to figure out--what do I really want to do? I'm 26 and have plenty of options but I know that if I were to work a job like this all my life, that just kills my soul and takes all my time--what's the point?

 

I'd rather be in love than wealthy. What's the point if you can't spend it with her? So, I made some plans and I'm going to pursue them. I may fail, but I doubt it. It will probably be a rocky road at times but he just needs to ask himself if he's truly happy, and if not, what would he be happy to do? There really are options, but you just have to be flexible, think outside the box, and never sell yourself short.

 

Give him time, be there for him, he'll never forget that. Trust me, I'd do anything for this girl and sometimes she has no clue but I can't explain how much she helps me through some of the hard times when my job is just killing me.

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HeavenOrHell

HeavenOrHell

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Thanks so much for your reply, it all sounds very familiar.

No, he has no plans to change the situation, when he feels overwhelmed he does nothing, so he'll end up burning out and lonely. He doesn't adapt easily.

I can deal with not having quite so much contact/less intense communication when apart, but I can't handle no visits, which is how it is now, I don't know if that's because he doesn't feel it's right to see me, isn't bothered about seeing me, or feels he can't ask for time off, or is just too wiped out to sort it out. I feel I can't bring it up as I don't want to pressure him.

I appreciate the fact he calls every night, even when he's wiped out, he sounds depressed a lot.

He really appreciates me being understanding.

But if we have no visits then my feelings will fade, they're starting to already.

He says things now and again, like 'when I'm next there,' but no actual mention of plans to see me.

A friend said to me when she had a very pressured job, even though it was just part time (his is full time) she let go of other things in her life thinking it was those things causing the pressure and when all she was left with was her job she realised it was the job causing the pressure.

Good for you for changing things, you sound more dynamic than my partner, who'll do nothing in situations like this. Or maybe his feelings for me aren't strong enough.

I've bent over backwards to support him, but without visits then it's far from enough for me.

I've had enough.

 

Hey, I'm really sorry...because I am that guy. Obviously to a different girl, but I am so that guy.

 

I do have plans though to get out. Does your man? Because, frankly my work situation will only get worse and more demanding unless I have a plan to remedy the situation. My plan is to go into business for myself and I am actively looking at other career options--but there's also a balance of the fact that it's hard to walk away from a lucrative opportunity in this economy. I won't do it for more than a year, but I feel so bad and apologize profusely to the girl because I know it makes me be more distant than I'd like.

 

It killed me when she said, "I could die and you wouldn't even notice" and she was exaggerating but I care...alright...love her so much that it really upset me she felt that way. I was mad at myself, and frustrated with my job. I took a few months to figure out--what do I really want to do? I'm 26 and have plenty of options but I know that if I were to work a job like this all my life, that just kills my soul and takes all my time--what's the point?

 

I'd rather be in love than wealthy. What's the point if you can't spend it with her? So, I made some plans and I'm going to pursue them. I may fail, but I doubt it. It will probably be a rocky road at times but he just needs to ask himself if he's truly happy, and if not, what would he be happy to do? There really are options, but you just have to be flexible, think outside the box, and never sell yourself short.

 

Give him time, be there for him, he'll never forget that. Trust me, I'd do anything for this girl and sometimes she has no clue but I can't explain how much she helps me through some of the hard times when my job is just killing me.

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HeavenOrHell

HeavenOrHell

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Kind of you to ask, thank you :)

Going pretty well at the moment, thank you, he wants to come over, so we're planning that :)

 

 

How are you doing HoH? Hope you're ok.
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