A friend of mine is not helping things in my Reconciliation with my Girl. . .

[whateverworks]

I recently got back together with my girlfriend of 5 years.

 

She broke up with me due to feelings of independence, wanting

to be on her own for a while, find her calling, it didn't last she realized what she wanted...

and came back to me and were going stronger than ever.

 

During our 'off' time, i befriended her bestfriend's boyfriend because he too, had been

dumped so to speak. we hung out a lot, bounced thoughts and feelings and advice off of

each other. well, months later, me and my girl are back together, him and his girl are not, in fact,

My girl doesn;t even really talk to her best friend(his ex) at all anymore, they had a falling out.

 

Anyway, here's my deal: We invited him over for dinner last night. Things went okay for a while but throughout

the night, He kept making little comments. My girlfriend said to him, "I love this boy(meaning me) he is so great!"

and he replied.."I know he is, he's a good man, you should always know that." but he said it in a sort of stern way,

almost like he was saying: "yeah, he's a good guy, so why did you leave him?"

 

He also likes to make comments or bring up the times me and him used hang out and talk about things during our break-up period, or bring up little things that he knows about me to my girl, like "Me and him do this or we did that" or "I know know blah blah blah about him, do you?....I just don't get what he's trying to do? It's almost like he's trying to make her feel bad

for breaking up with me, but that's mine and her business.

 

anyway, it's just a weird situation, i'm going to have a talk with him, but i guess i just needed to get some

insight and advice before i do, to make sure i'm not just Over-reacting. My girlfriend mentioned it to me last night,

that it bugged her after he left and that one time she did feel bad, she said she felt stupid. I don't want that.

[sweetie7]

Well, maybe he's not doing the right thing but can you imagine how bad he is feeling?? He thought he had a friend in the same exact situation as him and you guys probably bonded over broken hearts and hurt feelings. Although I'm sure he's glad to see you're happy, he must be feeling very alone and like the major loser. His buddy has back what he lost, but doesn't have his gf back. He's all alone in his feelings again. You should talk to him but don't make him feel even worse. Please please try to think about how you would feel if he had gotten back w/ his gf and you were hanging around the happy couple while you were still single...

[faux]

In order to understan what his intentions are, you need to ask your friend about what he is doing. Be very specific and blunt. Make sure that you fully understand, without any doubts, what he has to say to you. If this behavior is confusing you and interfering with your friendship and relationship, it is best to talk to him about it. It is most likely as simple as that. You should find your answers if you talk to him.

[whateverworks]

I FULLY understand that he may be hurting.

 

 

He's really stubborn though and constantly says he's OVER the whole thing and was actually

very supportive of me getting back together with my girl and even helped me move into

a new place with her.

 

I just would like him to STOP teasing my girl about the break-up

or bringing up the past, I'm not trying to forget about the past, but today is a new day. Me and her have

worked out a lot of differences and made some good changes that have really helped and for him to

play this whole "Who knows Jeff Better" game(that's me) it just kind of puts things in a weird

situation for me. I didn't know him very well before the break-up. But we bonded because of the pain

we were both going thru, losing our girls who happened to be best friends with each other, now no more.

 

It'll take more adjusting than I thought, i guess, for us to get together where it's not uncomfortable.

I don't mind speaking up and talking to him, i just wanted to make sure i wasn't overreacting or being

insensitive. He's not my best friend or anything( even though he has mentioned that i'm one of HIS best friends now)

I let him crash at my place a few times, listened to his stories and tried to help him cope and he with me.

I don't want to ignore it, I just want to handle it the right way, so no one gets hurt.