wannabdone Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 I'm with the other poster, what made the sudden change of heart? Link to post Share on other sites
KeepMeInMind Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 Open relationships sure aren't for everyone. I couldn't do it, but I understand not everyone marches to the beat of the same drum. Whatever makes you AND your spouse happy. If one wants open and the other doesn't, get out. It's not fair to either person. I'm speaking in general terms and not necessarily to the OP. Link to post Share on other sites
Author abdo Posted March 30, 2012 Author Share Posted March 30, 2012 Why the sudden change of heart? I think when the cake wasn't fresh & made my stomach ache.. Had a good conversation about marriage with my friends who are loyal to their husbands during the day... Great impacts. Had a lovely Friday night hanging out with H, no sex, no butterflies in the stomach but... When we reached home I was tired & sleepy.. H gave me lots of massage until I fell into sleep. Being with H isn't that exciting but definitely peaceful & loving. H has changed. I will live a life without affairs. Link to post Share on other sites
KeepMeInMind Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 Do you know how many people wish they had loving and peaceful and massages til they fell asleep?? Link to post Share on other sites
Dog Woman Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 H has changed. I will live a life without affairs. Good for you. Sounds like your H hasn't changed, you have just changed your perspective. Speaking from experience having affairs isn't the answer to making up for any lack of excitement in a relationship and you end up on a road to nowhere. All affairs do is cause individual's emotional turmoil. Link to post Share on other sites
findingnemo Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 I still don't understand the idea that Ms are boring and need ramping up with an EA or just chatting? It is so foreign to me that I don't think it is a matter of just changing perception. The reason for the change of heart doesn't really make sense to me given the most colourful analogies used to justify the cheating. But maybe that's just me being a bit slow.... Link to post Share on other sites
KeepMeInMind Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 I still don't understand the idea that Ms are boring and need ramping up with an EA or just chatting? It is so foreign to me that I don't think it is a matter of just changing perception. The reason for the change of heart doesn't really make sense to me given the most colourful analogies used to justify the cheating. But maybe that's just me being a bit slow.... I think it is pretty black and white on this. Either you are okay with open relationships, or you are not. Same for being "into" open relationships. That's why I say, if you want one, and the spouse doesn't, leave. I think someone who wants an open relationship will not be happy (never feel fulfilled) if they do. I really don't get the whole open relationship thing. I just can't grasp not caring if my spouse is doing anything at all sexual with another person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author abdo Posted March 31, 2012 Author Share Posted March 31, 2012 (edited) The other man has shown to me and made me understand that he doesn't want to continue being my cake of the EA. There's a pain in me about losing the EA & ending everything. I need some time to heal & digest. At this moment , i don't think any guy from the adult dating site can help me let go the OM & move on. As for open marriage, we had discussed about it & we have set limits for each other. Our stopping cheating won't affect our marriage & partnerships. Edited March 31, 2012 by abdo Link to post Share on other sites
East7 Posted March 31, 2012 Share Posted March 31, 2012 When I read this thread two ideas : Either the poster is extremely selfish or a troll, or maybe both Why everyone is wasting time with someone who doesn't know what she wants ...Open marriage or not, OM or H, cakes, chocolates etc etc..It is all about HER. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author abdo Posted March 31, 2012 Author Share Posted March 31, 2012 Of course I wanted to have my cake & eat it. When the other guy decided his life to have other purposes other than being my cake, I will have to respect his choice. He had choosen his future to be without me, which has made me sad, lost, empty, anxious. I created this thread looking for advice if I should find someone from adult dating site to fill the gap & my void. I have received inputs & viewpoints telling me not to. Even my own friends adviced me to work on my marriage. Everything is pointing to one direction - turning to my H looking for his love & trying to re-connect with him, generate sparks with him. East7, your comment wasn't helpful but just mean. Link to post Share on other sites
KeepMeInMind Posted March 31, 2012 Share Posted March 31, 2012 I'm slightly offended by your loss of a side piece causing you to be "sad, lost, empty, anxious." Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted March 31, 2012 Share Posted March 31, 2012 When I read this thread two ideas : Either the poster is extremely selfish or a troll, or maybe both Why everyone is wasting time with someone who doesn't know what she wants ...Open marriage or not, OM or H, cakes, chocolates etc etc..It is all about HER. Game playing, possibly research, out there.....all come to mind. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted April 1, 2012 Share Posted April 1, 2012 East7, your comment wasn't helpful but just mean. East7's post was right on the money. It IS all about you and until you see that, there will be no working on any marriage. Its time you start thinking about your H for a change. Link to post Share on other sites
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