When Guys Like Skinny Girls

[gotye]

like, not saying guys who like slim girls... but guys who only like real skinny girls

 

all my bfs said this and because of all the "real girls have curves" bs I used to think when guys only like real thin girls must be a--holes, pedophiles, or gay

 

but when a guy wants to date bigger women, I feel like it is celebrated (unless it's one of those grossly overweight feederism things, ew)

 

do you experience this? A guy who openly says he likes skinny women is often seen as in the wrong

[brokenTom]

I get this sense too, but keep in mind the healthiest people tend to be labeled "skinny" and it's a fine line between that and an undwerweight anorexic. Humans don't need very much fat on their bodies and it's a sign of over eating and disrespect towards your body, not the best match if you want to consider having babies.

 

It's only practical. Of course this doesn't mean you are prejudice against anyone other then skinny women, that's just your preference and it may largely be due to wanting healthy offspring.

[brokenTom]

but when a guy wants to date bigger women, I feel like it is celebrated (unless it's one of those grossly overweight feederism things, ew)

I believe this is, to some extent, a cultural thing, where we are slowly accepting overweight as the new "norm" (over 60% in the US are overweight/obese) It's kinda sad because we'd really like to encourage people to be healthy, but at the same time because many aren't, and we all deserve love, it's a good sign when it becomes more accepted. We are reaching a point where we really don't want many people procreating, so it may be a natural way of slowing down population growth. Those overweight/obese don't live as long as those who are healthy/skinny, and they also don't have the healthiest offspring due to their weight.

 

Of course simply talking about these things will typically introduce some passionate opinions. I certainly don't mean to diminish anyone's feelings on the subject. I hate prejudice of any kind, don't get me wrong.

[RiverRunning]

It's celebrated? If anything, there's a minority of people who 'celebrate' it as backlash against the very many who condemn it. There's a reason why men who prefer even slightly overweight women grow to identify with FA culture and why so many try to keep that interest 'closeted.' Because in many families, it is very much looked down upon for a guy (especially if he's thin) to pursue a heavier woman. And if a guy's heavier, he at least needs to make sure that his girlfriend isn't -as- heavy.

 

I put on a little bit of weight in my first relationship, and I get the impression my boyfriend's ultra-thin mom and somewhat-overweight dad started pressuring him. Because the next thing I knew, he was criticizing me about my weight left and right and constantly pressuring me to go running.

 

A lot of guys who prefer thin women do get some crap - typically from women who aren't thin. I'm going to assume this is because a lot of overweight women are ignored, overlooked, or ridiculed by the same people who profess undying love for thin women. I've been on dating sites before, messaged guys, and get the, "You're fat and I could never see myself being with you. I only like thin women," messages, which probably only reinforces the "He likes thin women? KILL HIM" ideology.

 

When it comes down to it, most men prefer an average-sized body. A little less of the population prefers people who are slightly overweight or slightly underweight. And the Bell curve continues to drop off as you get into extremes.

 

But I would not call a guy dating a fat woman 'celebrated,' except for in select circles. It's overwhelmingly scorned in our society. And the guys who say they prefer thin women are just saying what the majority may not admit to themselves.

[RiverRunning]

I believe this is, to some extent, a cultural thing, where we are slowly accepting overweight as the new "norm" (over 60% in the US are overweight/obese) It's kinda sad because we'd really like to encourage people to be healthy, but at the same time because many aren't, and we all deserve love, it's a good sign when it becomes more accepted. We are reaching a point where we really don't want many people procreating, so it may be a natural way of slowing down population growth. Those overweight/obese don't live as long as those who are healthy/skinny, and they also don't have the healthiest offspring due to their weight.

 

Of course simply talking about these things will typically introduce some passionate opinions. I certainly don't mean to diminish anyone's feelings on the subject. I hate prejudice of any kind, don't get me wrong.

 

 

Tom, I do have to ask - where are you getting this information? There is a correlation that those with higher BMIs do not live as long (well, this is true for those who are obese. Overweight folks actually outlive the thinner ones), but it's probably much more likely that a sedentary lifestyle and poor eating habits play a much bigger role in how likely you are to die young. A thin person who doesn't exercise and doesn't watch what they eat is going to be far worse off than someone who is overweight but exercises and tries to diet.

 

I mentioned in my last post that my glucose, cholesterol and blood pressure are all excellent (I've had several tests done). I am obese according to the BMI. I am not unhealthy. I know the prevailing notion is to just look at someone and declare that, because in the U.S. we think it's a Boolean thing of "Fat? Unhealthy. Skinny? Healthy," but health is a wide continuum. I am not as healthy as I COULD be, no, but next to thin folk who also work out and exercise, I'm #2 in line.

 

And what's this exaggeration about having healthy offspring? There are complications in pregnancy with heavier women (it's more likely). However, most of those are around the time of delivery (heavier women are more likely to have gestational diabetes, more likely to have to deliver vaginally because of the risk of a C-Section, etc.). Being fat isn't inherited genetically. It is a concern, of course, for a kid's later lifestyle habits.

 

I just think, based on the evidence, the "healthy = skinny" correlation needs to stop. My last ex was thin. He had a decent diet but never exercised. He had high cholesterol, high triglycerides and high blood pressure. I was healthier than him.

 

There is a higher correlation between a higher BMI and a lack of exercise/proper nutrition. Just as there is a higher correlation that if someone is thin, he or she exercises and diets. But once again, the exercise and diet is most important in that. It is true that most folks who start dieting and exercising WILL lose weight or at least drop body fat, but as I've seen in my daily life, that's not always true. The body shaming would be best if it went the way of Neanderthals, and if instead the focus were on everyone exercising and eating well, not just those who are "fat" and earn the disdain of everyone else.

[brokenTom]

Yes, my point was it's all "in general" and of course there are exceptions. I totally agree an underweight sedentary lifestyle is not ideal compared to overweight and active.

 

I didn't mean to say healthy = skinny, it's just that many people call healthy people skinny when really they aren't underweight. Yes, it is partly based on the BMI scale, and I've read articles and heard from doctors about this and how the perception is skewed in many societies.

 

The last thing I wish for is for us to assume anything based on these things. I would never assume someone in the normal BMI range is healthy, nor would I assume that because you want someone who is considered by some to be "skinny" that you are somehow a shallow human that doesn't deserve respect. A husband or boyfriend pressuring his women to lose weight can be seriously troubling, especially if he isn't doing it for your sake but for his own. Nobody deserves to be put down like that.

Edited March 28, 2012 by brokenTom

[gotye]

It's celebrated? If anything, there's a minority of people who 'celebrate' it as backlash against the very many who condemn it. There's a reason why men who prefer even slightly overweight women grow to identify with FA culture and why so many try to keep that interest 'closeted.' Because in many families, it is very much looked down upon for a guy (especially if he's thin) to pursue a heavier woman. And if a guy's heavier, he at least needs to make sure that his girlfriend isn't -as- heavy.

 

I put on a little bit of weight in my first relationship, and I get the impression my boyfriend's ultra-thin mom and somewhat-overweight dad started pressuring him. Because the next thing I knew, he was criticizing me about my weight left and right and constantly pressuring me to go running.

 

A lot of guys who prefer thin women do get some crap - typically from women who aren't thin. I'm going to assume this is because a lot of overweight women are ignored, overlooked, or ridiculed by the same people who profess undying love for thin women. I've been on dating sites before, messaged guys, and get the, "You're fat and I could never see myself being with you. I only like thin women," messages, which probably only reinforces the "He likes thin women? KILL HIM" ideology.

 

When it comes down to it, most men prefer an average-sized body. A little less of the population prefers people who are slightly overweight or slightly underweight. And the Bell curve continues to drop off as you get into extremes.

 

But I would not call a guy dating a fat woman 'celebrated,' except for in select circles. It's overwhelmingly scorned in our society. And the guys who say they prefer thin women are just saying what the majority may not admit to themselves.

that's true

but a guy being into thin women is often looked at as creepy... it took me a while to stop being creeped out by it. my ex would always be like; mmmm, skinny girls... but i realized I make same comments about men so it isn't creepy.

[USMCHokie]

that's true

but a guy being into thin women is often looked at as creepy... it took me a while to stop being creeped out by it. my ex would always be like; mmmm, skinny girls... but i realized I make same comments about men so it isn't creepy.

 

The people who perpetuate its creepiness are more often than not jealous of the skinny girls...or jealous of men who date skinny girls...

[brokenTom]

I also also 100% agree about nutrition. Many average and underweight folks live off junk food and that is typically worse then overweight while eating healthy. In an ideal world, weight wouldn't be the biggest issues it would be nutrition, but it's sometimes hard to look at someone and tell if they live off twinkies or veggies

 

One of my close childhood friends was morbidly obese (ran in the family) but ate relatively healthy. She died at 27 years.

 

There are so many variables at play here, some just have huge chemical unbalances that go out of control, and also many modern medical practices seem to be driven by cooperation wanting to make a profit.

 

There's not always an easy solution, or an easy clear-cut argument to make with regards to any of this, and I 'm certainly still learning and am willing to admit when I'm wrong. I'd be glad if I was wrong about some stuff even.

[FitChick]

If the people you are attracted to all seem to prefer dating slim people and you are not slim, lose the weight. If the people you like all seem to prefer heavier people, gain some weight. I wish people would stop blaming others for their preferences. They seem to forget the key word is THEIR not YOUR.

[gotye]

If the people you are attracted to all seem to prefer dating slim people and you are not slim, lose the weight. If the people you like all seem to prefer heavier people, gain some weight. I wish people would stop blaming others for their preferences. They seem to forget the key word is THEIR not YOUR.

i am not blaming, I am thin, all my bfs loved it

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I don't think there is anything wrong being attracted to skinny girls at all.

 

I just think when people make the automatica assumption that skinny = healthy where things get a little tricky. We all know super skinny people and morbidly obese people are unhealthy. But most of us are in the middle of that range. Not all chunky people are unhealthy and not all skinny people are healthy. Some people are skinny and eat a bunch of junk. Some people have more meat on them and eat healthy. So I don't really think liking skinny has much to do with "health".

 

Edited to add that women are naturally more fatty because of the fact that we carry the babies. And yet, in this culture, there is a more extreme stance on women that have extra weight then men. Despite the fact that it is usually easier for men to loose weight because men have more muscle mass. Today's ideals about what is 'healthy" is not always healthy.

[Professor X]

A good friend of mine loves skinny and small girls cause they look, well, like kids rather than women. So in that sense he does creep me out a bit, but I also know he would never date under aged girls, so I'm not worried about him being a pedophile.

 

I like it when women got curves, cause in my eyes it makes her more womanly, and not look like a small kid.

[veggirl]

Yes people equate skinny with healthy a lot, because in general a slim person is going to be more healthy than a fat person. Duh? *in general*

 

In HS I was 104 lbs and 5'8. It was annoying, I was constantly being asked if I ever eat (I ate a lot, I had a crazy metabolism) and if I was anorexic I *hated* my size. I'm 20 lbs heavier now, people still call me skinny but I'm really not "skinny" (I am slim). I def was skinny though. I never had a problem attracting guys, even though on LS most guys have said in threads that they'd never date a bony girl. I was def bony!

[RiverRunning]

Yes, my point was it's all "in general" and of course there are exceptions. I totally agree an underweight sedentary lifestyle is not ideal compared to overweight and active.

 

 

I get that you're trying to point out generalities, but that doesn't detract from the fact that many of the points you're making are continually being ruled out in current studies:

 

Like overweight people living longer than thinner folks, obese folks or underweight folks:

Study: Overweight People Live Longer

 

With medical advances as they are - medications for high cholesterol, blood pressure and blood sugar - it's only looking more likely that heavier people are going to continue living longer.

 

That speaks nothing to the quality of life they may have as compared to a thin person. But it doesn't mean that they won't live as long, because in developed countries like ours, overweight and obese people continue to live longer and longer.

 

There are also the recent studies out (last 2 - 3 years) about obese people being better able to survive cardiac incidents. The prevailing theory is that obese people are treated more aggressively than thin ones for heart-related problems, but it's well-known in the medical community that the more overweight you are, the LESS attentive medical staff is with you and the more likely it is you're going to die from whatever ailment you're suffering from.

 

I will hand it to you that there are complications with healthy children being born to overweight mothers - but most of these are very rare anyway (including neural tube defects). Most of the others I see, like, "Your child might become obese," are environmental in nature and typically don't affect a baby at birth (Unless mom's gained a lot of weight during pregnancy, which makes it more likely that her baby is going to be heavier too).

 

(Study: Overweight People Live Longer)

 

By all means, it is best to be thin - whether you're going to see a doctor, you're looking to date, or you just want to be able to operate comfortably out in society. It's best to be thin. And while there are many health problems related to being overweight or obese (although like I said, I think that's MUCH more often an issue of correlation - sit on your butt and eat whatever you want syndrome), I do think the health effects of being fat or obese are drastically overplayed (again, unless you're the fat guy with sit-on-butt syndrome).

[FrustratedStandards]

I've never heard of this.

[FitChick]

Let's get real. In the dating world people are more concerned with appearance than health.

 

I've never seen a fat 90+ year old person.

[brokenTom]

many of the points you're making are continually being ruled out in current studies:

So, do you think overweight people live longer because they are more often being held together by modern medicine? IMO that would fall under the category of "artificially healthy" which is something I'm also against. Again, that's just my preference and I admit I'm probably overly cynical of medicine and pill popping. I suppose we will slowly integrate into man-made computers and none of this will really matter once we become the 2nd class species on this earth... that's probably the topic for another thread though

 

I do appreciate you bringing that study to attention; more like that would be great.

[LZ2000]

Well, just for the record, you may be thin or fat, but if you don't eat your vitamin pills, eat your vegetables and do a little exercise, you're just screwing up your health and that compromises your body, mind and your ability to attract a mate.

[mbiac]

As a guy who prefers very curvy girls I feel a lot of discomfort around my guy friends who are all attracted to very fit, thin girls. The thinner they are the more desirable they are. Quite often they make remarks about thicker/curvier girls that can make me feel pretty guilty and insecure about my preferences. You also get a lot of flack from your family about who your dating and people asking if your SO is "working on their weight problems".

 

This doesn't answer the OPs question but as someone who prefers really curvy, or plus size (14+) women I thought I'd share my perspective as my first post.

[january2011]

I think it depends on your peer group, culture and location.

 

People make comments about all sorts of things. And putting others into categories is how we make sense of the world.

 

As long as you are happy with your dating life and are not looking to make changes to it, who cares what other people's preferences are?

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Yes people equate skinny with healthy a lot, because in general a slim person is going to be more healthy than a fat person. Duh? *in general*

 

Well that is actually the falsehood I am talking about. Skinny does not equal healthy. Having a high metabolism doesn't equal healthy either. It really depends on what you eat and if you work out or drink or smoke.

 

You need to put this in context about how over-weight are we talking. Of course someone obese is not healthy. But there are people that might have thicker, even chunky builds but be healthier then a skinny person. I go to the gym a lot and I see people there regularly that I know work out and we talk about food and diet and being healthy a lot and they are not tight bodied perfect people. They got some extra pounds on them. However, they are healthy. Probably healthier then someone that is just lucky to have a fast metabolism. However, from society eyes, people would probably think the skinny person was automatically the healthy one. This is the point I am trying to make.

[sLiPpeTh]

I'm a mesomorph; and I don't find skinny females attractive. I prefer women who are in a healthy BMI range. 60 percent of American Women are overweight or obese. I live a healthy energetic lifestyle so 60 percent of American women automatically don't make the cut with me.

 

Fortunately there are skinny males; also known as ectomorphs and guys who might physically appear to be a bit overweight...when they're actually not. Also known as endomorphs.

 

70 percent of males are also overweight or obese. So there's someone for everyone. Really wouldn't worry about it too much.

[joystickd]

Its a preference damn why so hung up on it. If someone doesn't want you because of your weight move on. We all don't like the same things.

[gotye]

Its a preference damn why so hung up on it. If someone doesn't want you because of your weight move on. We all don't like the same things.

 

ummm, that wasn't the point at all...