Struggling 9 months later.

[b_80_h]

I've posted here before, dealing with my various woes about pining for my ex, and whether I should contact her again. This time, I'm taking a break from that tired subject, because it frankly needed a rest for a while. My problem is not really a direct feeling of loss anymore, but rather this massive funk I fell into after the the break-up. I really need help and advice on this matter, because 9 months have passed and I still haven't truly recovered.

 

Here's my story, as boiled down as I can make it:

Boy meets girl in college. Year goes okay, but both of us have personal issues. I spend the whole year fighting everything around me, from the football team's staff to the teachers and administration of the school. Ultimately, I burn my own bridge, while developing an online gaming addiction. By this time, my ex has slipped into really awful depression and leaves school early for treatment at home.

 

I scramble to set up my summer classes to fix the damage I did, then I take a visit to my then-girlfriend in Atlanta (I'm from the state of Washington, and so is the school we went to). She had warned me beforehand that she might end the relationship so she could concentrate on therapy. Things go mildly well over the week I was there, but after I return, I get the teary-eyed breakup call. I try to hold it together for her sake, but I'm devastated inside. I pay half-hearted attention to my summer classes, and have to drop out of the university, which deepens my funk.

 

A few rough exchanges with my ex sunk my spirits a little more. I tried to take the school year to finish my Associate's off at a local community college, but my heart's not in it. Two quarters down, and I've wounded my GPA significantly. I've struggled to find any sort of job, mostly due to lack of motivation, and living at home with my parents has gotten rougher every day because I've gradually become more outwardly selfish and bitter.

 

I've tried some counseling. My family has gone to some (so far unsuccessful) therapy sessions. My mom and I had a massive argument today that leads me to believe that the situation with my parents has gotten too toxic for me to fix while at home. Being jobless, carless, and directionless isn't the best way to work with these problems though...

 

So, in conclusion...

I was in a relationship that turned out to be the only thing that was stable during a rough transition year. I avoided my problems, and the breakup brought all of them screaming to the forefront. Add in her incredible attempts to emotionally distance herself from me, and my general apathy about everything for the past 4 or 5 months, and I'm left with a stew of frustration and resentment that I can't seem to get over.

 

My question is, what would you suggest I do? I need to undertake a huge change in my life right now, and though I've got a plan to go to college a good distance away from my family, I still have to graduate with my AA and survive until the Fall.

 

I'm not trying to complain, and I'd like to no longer do so. Can you help me with some ideas to break the helplessness?

Edited March 28, 2012 by b_80_h
little addition.

[TaraMaiden]

you know all those trite, clichés.. you know, the ones which should be all washed up and useless, because they're over-used?

Well, the reason they're not, is because they're true - and however they sound, they deserve repeating.

 

It's part of the cure to wish to be cured.

 

You have to Walk the talk.

 

Say what you mean, and mean what you say.

 

Actions speak louder than words.

you have to want this badly enough to drop the attempt, for the INtent.

 

A member here, has the famous Yoda quotation;

"Do, or do not. there is no 'try' "

You have to change your thought pattern and actually choose to think positively about moving on.

The moment you believe you're demoralised, or it won't work, or it's no good - you're automatically flicking the "FAIL" switch.

you have to actually turn your thoughts around, and affirm your intentions.

while you have any grain of "yes but...." - you're on a downward spiral.

 

It all begins in your head, with what you tell yourself.