dng Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Yep, 20 months later, almost two years. I was really bad for a long time, I'm doing alot better now. Even tho things have been clear in my mind, and I have adjusted to the fact that she's gone, I still miss her from time to time, and think about her maybe once or twice daily. Maybe there's full days where I dont think about her, I'm not sure, I really try, in general, to avoid anything that has anything to do with her. I moved appt, I travelled alot. One thing, I suicided my job and I've been out of the job market for something like 8 months. That's getting kinda hard financially. The reason I'm writing this, is to ask LS folks about one thing that has been sort off chipping at me. She got back in contact around christmas, was sorry about everything, worst mistake of her life, and so on. Wanted to meet. At first I didnt answer, I figured if I ignored her she would go away. She didnt, so eventually I answered but only so to tell her to get lost. She apologized over and over and I finally agreed to meet her in a neutral place, but then she switched it around, now she needed my new address, and so on, until, well, until nothing came of it. She simply stopped writing. In the course of the "discussion" we had before she dissappeared, she told me she had been dating someone for a few months and it didnt work, it only made her miss me more, etc. Not sure I believe a single word of anything she says. Anyway, I heard again on st-valentine's day, of course - (Thinking about you) - and then 2 weeks ago, another email (I have something very important I need to tell you, please answer me or call me). This time, knowing better, I decided to ignore her completely. Its been a strategy of her to send emails like that and then go away after a couple of days of emails. What am I dealing with here? Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 The grass on the other side didn't look so green after all, so naturally she wants to get back to your patch. It's taken almost two years and she's trying to undo the hard work that you put in to get over her. Back to NC. Block. Delete. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dng Posted March 28, 2012 Author Share Posted March 28, 2012 The grass on the other side didn't look so green after all, so naturally she wants to get back to your patch. It's taken almost two years and she's trying to undo the hard work that you put in to get over her. Back to NC. Block. Delete. NC, for sure. I have given her enough time and occasions to make it right and she never it, I'm done. I don't think she wants to come back. I think she meets and dates people and whenever it ends, she tries to get back in contact with me, tells me everything anyone would want to hear, really. How she messed up, how I'm the best in the world... But those are just words. I haven't seen her in something like 18 or 19 months. She has offered multiple times but has never showed up to anything, always cancelled at the last time until one day I did the same thing, I told her I would meet her in a bar and never showed up. Fight fire with fire? It had the effect of cooling her down considerably. I have to be honest and admit I was nothing but mostly cold to her in all our exchanges. She always seems to hit a nerve with me and at times, I have been calleous with her. My message would go from leave me alone and get lost, we had our time.. To ok for a meeting but I dont believe a single word you say. In a nutshell, I dont think she's ever coming back but it looks like she's having a hard time cutting that last tie. Link to post Share on other sites
blindesided Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 Maybe she is bored? Just wants to see what kind of response she will get. Not sure how old you guys are but she sounds immature. Can you block her number? Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 I find them complete hypocrites. 20 months really? Can you imagine if one of us on here did that? We would be labeled "desperate", "the psycho ex", " nutjob" if we contacted the dumpers 20 months later. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
immitable Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 When I saw the title I thought to myself I hope I don't get stuck 20 months pining - it's been 10 months for me NC. But you got some contact from her and it is a good thing, for your ego, first of all. How are you doing, self-esteem wise? If you still want her back, you have to treat this as completely new relationship. I just don't understand when people give advice that one should accept the dumper back only of they crawl on broken glass etc. I mean, you should have realized your own mistakes by now and go from there. If I ever get a call from the ex and telling me things yours told you I would listen carefully and ask her - what does she want from me? - as simple as that. Then would try to make it tough on her and present myself as a good but not that easy catch. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dng Posted March 29, 2012 Author Share Posted March 29, 2012 (edited) If I ever get a call from the ex and telling me things yours told you I would listen carefully and ask her - what does she want from me? - as simple as that.. In a normal world, filled with well adjusted people, this would be reasonable, sound advice. The problem is that either she isnt quite adjusted, or she's just leading me on or bull****ting me, because nothing is ever simple when it comes to her. I have done exactly that, after - seriously - weeks of pleading from her, ask her what she wants exactly, why she wants to meet. And then, I fall off the side of the earth, because when I do actually ask her, she doesn't know, she can't tell anymore, she just wants to see me, she can't tell me on the phone, in brief, a long list of reasons, most of them are "my fault". That's the reason I came here with that short story. I really wonder what I'm dealing with here. Perhaps its best not to know and keep on keeping on... Edited March 29, 2012 by dng Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 I don't think she wants to come back. I think she meets and dates people and whenever it ends, she tries to get back in contact with me, tells me everything anyone would want to hear, really. How she messed up, how I'm the best in the world... When something bad happens it is always easiest to bounce back to something that was once safe. She seems to need the comfort of you more than she actually wants you as a partner. If she wanted both she would have never left. You are right to stay away from this one. Take it a step further and eliminate any way she can contact you. Link to post Share on other sites
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