hotgurl Posted June 14, 2004 Share Posted June 14, 2004 O.K. I am new here so maybe you've already talked about this. This is for the OW OM. My questions is how can you be with a person of so little character that they would cheat on thier SO. Obviously a cheater is a dishonest person, a lair , a betrayer, a con artist to a certain extent, selfish, narsicistic, lacks empathy, and cruel, uncaring. So why would you want to be with a person not matter how hot sexy ect.. what they may tell you about the marraige., That has so many undesirable characters traits? Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted June 14, 2004 Share Posted June 14, 2004 Originally posted by hotgurl O.K. I am new here so maybe you've already talked about this. This is for the OW OM. My questions is how can you be with a person of so little character that they would cheat on thier SO. Obviously a cheater is a dishonest person, a lair , a betrayer, a con artist to a certain extent, selfish, narsicistic, lacks empathy, and cruel, uncaring. So why would you want to be with a person not matter how hot sexy ect.. what they may tell you about the marraige., That has so many undesirable characters traits? I have wondered this myself many times. I see people mentioning all of the time that they are "in love" with someone who is cheating on his or her spouse. Why in the world would anyone want to get into a relationship, or care for someone like that, when it is obvious they are dishonest and unfaithful? Sorry to rephrase the same question, but I have been interested in an answer for some time now. All that I can say now is that people do foolish things, and feelings can often blind. Link to post Share on other sites
supermom Posted June 14, 2004 Share Posted June 14, 2004 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t39573/ Hi all! This is my opinion... Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted June 14, 2004 Share Posted June 14, 2004 Apparently from that thread it's because we're all skanks with no morals. Link to post Share on other sites
mrs.sarah Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 They will tell you that you never know what it's like until you're in their shoes. Well they need to think about what it's like to be married to a man that's cheating on you. It's funny too because they think they are doing nothing wrong. They come on here expecting to get sympathy for their actions. They will lose out in the long run. They put themselves into the situation. You wont get sympathy here homewreckers. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 Well they need to think about what it's like to be married to a man that's cheating on you. It's funny too because they think they are doing nothing wrong. Blame should not be assigned only to the OW, it's not like the husband was tricked into it. Link to post Share on other sites
Cupcake Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 Some people get involved with married people because they enjoy the task of "getting something they can't have." Some people do it because they've been cheated on before, and they want to get revenge on someone else. Some people are afraid of commitment. They get involved thinking that their feelings won't get attatched, and there won't be any serious commitments. Some people get involved without knowing the person is married. They don't find out until after they've developed strong feelings for the person. Often times, those feelings are too strong for them to just let go. And they get stuck in a situation where the married person is making promises to leave the spouse, ect. Love can be soo blind when you've been treated so well by the person and have all of your hopes and dreams tied up in that person. Link to post Share on other sites
mrs.sarah Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 I agree, the man is to blame just as much as the ow. Link to post Share on other sites
supermom Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 I don't understand why the OM/OW says "and he/she loves me very much" when they're screwing other people on them as well. What a sick cycle. They DON'T LOVE YOU! WAKE UP! Unless they leave their wives/husbands for you, they don't love you. Love is more than just getting it on. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 Originally posted by mrs.sarah They will tell you that you never know what it's like until you're in their shoes. Well they need to think about what it's like to be married to a man that's cheating on you. It's funny too because they think they are doing nothing wrong. They come on here expecting to get sympathy for their actions. They will lose out in the long run. They put themselves into the situation. You wont get sympathy here homewreckers. Mrs Sarah this is the other woman forum-where should we be posting? Besides the ninth level of hell, which is where you wish us to be apparently. I'm sorry your husband cheated on you-it wasn't with me. I am fully aware that extra marital affairs are wrong, and hurt everyone. It doesn't stop me from feeling the way I do about my MM. Can't help that-and I wish I could!! Just turn it off, like a switch. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyrannaste Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 Originally posted by mrs.sarah I agree, the man is to blame just as much as the ow. The cheating man is to blame *way* more than the other woman! Cupcake, you forgot to add to the list those who have no problems dating with someone else's husband/wife/bf/gf because they got the idea their partner is mistreating them/abusing them so they don't feel one bit guilty. It is difficult to feel guilty if you fall in love with someone who is in a relationship, you see him/her crying all the time and you start going out with her(or him) because you really like him/her and would love to make him/her happy. I can sympathize with this kind of OW/OM, even if they are usually going towards a major delusion and an heartbreak:( Link to post Share on other sites
mrs.sarah Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 Mr Spock, no my husband has never cheated on me. If so he would no longer be my husband. This is a public forum and I'm doing the same thing as you, voicing my opinion. And in my opinion, if you're seeing a man and are well aware that they are married, you are a homewrecker. There you go. Get angry if you want. Maybe someday you'll get a reality check and realize what you're doing is WRONG. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 I am only responding to your post where you state "you won't get sympathy here homewreckers" it's the OW/OM forum. I have no wish to tangle horns with you on the morality of relationships. Just want to post that it's actually OUR forum-not the disgruntled spouse forum, not the cheating no good bastard forum, not the dating forum. Where would you expect us to go? If you honestly think I expect other women in comitted relationships to cyber rub my back and state "there there, it's OK" you've got another thing coming. I don't. I just wanted info on how to proceed, how to DEAL with my feelings, what's acceptable after the fact etc. I'm not a "skank". I'm not immoral. If' I'm feeling down, and someone wants to encourage me to feel better so be it. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 And, I am far from angry. Link to post Share on other sites
cubsfanhere Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 Why exactly did you feel the need to clarify that you are far from angry? Obviously someone is bothered and can't take the truth! Link to post Share on other sites
VivianLee Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 My reply is... You need to wear a parachute....the fall from a "high horse" is a long one!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotgurl Posted June 15, 2004 Author Share Posted June 15, 2004 Wow this is a really heated topic. I can kinda see the ow/om who has been lied to in the beginning of the relationship and getting in to deep. But what about the ow/om who already know the person is married? Ok so he/she really attractive nice blah blah blah makes you feel special but he/she married. why would you go for it? The point is the mm/mw is a liar he's/she's lying to his/her SO and probably to you too. He/she is morally deficient so why would you want to sleep/date a guy/chick like that? The point is if he's/she's willing to treat his/her SO so disrespectful he'd probably will treat you the same way. Why would you want to set yourself up for that? Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 Originally posted by supermom I don't understand why the OM/OW says "and he/she loves me very much" when they're screwing other people on them as well. What a sick cycle. They DON'T LOVE YOU! WAKE UP! Unless they leave their wives/husbands for you, they don't love you. Love is more than just getting it on. I would not want to get involved with a girl who would leave someone for me. I have noticed that every time this has happened in the past it spelled bad news. If they would do it so quickly to one guy, they will probably leave me as soon as they find something new and exciting. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 Originally posted by cubsfanhere Why exactly did you feel the need to clarify that you are far from angry? Obviously someone is bothered and can't take the truth! ??? In what part of any of my posts does it look like I'm avoiding the "truth" ?? I felt the need to clarify I wasn't angry when I posted so that Mrs Sarah would know that I wasn't in fact getting angry, just respondng calmly to the post. I'm not quite sure to whom the high horse commented is directed at..... Link to post Share on other sites
VivianLee Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 I'm not quite sure to whom the high horse commented is directed at..... not at you.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotgurl Posted June 15, 2004 Author Share Posted June 15, 2004 Is the high horse comment directed at me? I don't get it. I agree with you faux I wouldn't get involed with a mm. I've seen liars in action it's not prettty. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 No it'snot pretty. And it's SO hard to tell. I mean, if this man is willing to cheat on his wife should I believe ANYTHING he says to me? It's one thing when my friends and you all tell me that he's a bastard but another thing to ask him face to face-all I want to do is just stare at him while he talks and have him touch me. It's like my brain shuts off. Hopefully there will be a day when I see him or her on the street and I just ignore, rather than peeling rubber out of the intersection in a panic. Link to post Share on other sites
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