Eternal Sunshine Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 There is nothing more annoying than the new breed of semi-new-age-The-Secret followers (and similar). Seriously, they should just cut it out with "they just cut off my leg but life is grand" BS? I find it so much more authentic for people to admit "my life sucks" every now and then. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 There is nothing more annoying than the new breed of semi-new-age-The-Secret followers (and similar). Seriously, they should just cut it out with "they just cut off my leg but life is grand" BS? I find it so much more authentic for people to admit "my life sucks" every now and then. I'm not sure why you feel you have to choose between either optimism or pessimism. Optimism is not about ignoring the negative. It's about addressing issues from a position of strength. It takes courage to be happy, in spite of the fact that life throws everyone curve balls. Optimism isn't about denying that problems arise. It's about believing that happiness and sorrow ebbs and flows in one's life. Generally, the optimists are just better equipped at dealing with sorrow. They're also more apt to recognize blessings. By the way, I despise "The Secret". Two reasons: it places happiness in the future, and still assumes it's a "perfect permanent state". 3 Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 Oooooooooooooooh! Controversial! Link to post Share on other sites
westrock Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 I find it so much more authentic for people to admit "my life sucks" every now and then. I agree. The only way to appreciate the great parts of our life is to also acknowledge when it sucks. One cannot know happiness without also knowing sadness. Often the motivation to improve our lives comes from acknowledging certain parts of it suck. The key is to limit it to "every now and then" otherwise being always negative can be just as annoying. I have found that there are two types of ultra positive people. One type is actually insecure and they are trying to avoid anything negative by overcompensating on the ultra positive side. Something happened to them in the past and they are genuinely struggling. Being ulta positive is their coping mechanism. They can get annoying at times because they are not being authentic, but rather than let them bring me down, I found it's healthier to choose to focus on showing empathy for their struggles. The other type is genuinely ultra positive in their outlook on life. I've met a few of those who have had some difficult challenges and found them to be genuine in their positivity and a pleasure to know. On that note, have a happy day, even if parts of it suck Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 Eternal Sunshine is annoyed by happy people I Love IT!!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 29, 2012 Author Share Posted March 29, 2012 Eternal Sunshine is annoyed by happy people I Love IT!!! lol - my user name is partly due to my favorite movie "Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" and partly being sarcastic Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 29, 2012 Author Share Posted March 29, 2012 Kamille - I think I am fine with genuinely optimistic people (like yourself). It's just people who come across as fake with their positivity that bother me (basically what westrock said). They would never admit that they are feeling sad or rejected or whatever. I have literally seen a person crying while saying "This is a great thing that happened! I know it's just a stepping stone to the rest of my life!" sob sob. (after she found out that her boyfriend cheated on her). 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 Tomorrow I'm buying an entire truckload of PEPSI. I will then dump each can of PEPSI down the toilet. PEPSI sucks Give it to me! Don't waste it! Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 (edited) I'm not sure why you feel you have to choose between either optimism or pessimism. Optimism is not about ignoring the negative. It's about addressing issues from a position of strength. It takes courage to be happy, in spite of the fact that life throws everyone curve balls. Optimism isn't about denying that problems arise. It's about believing that happiness and sorrow ebbs and flows in one's life. Generally, the optimists are just better equipped at dealing with sorrow. They're also more apt to recognize blessings. Agree entirely. The only study-suggested benefit to pessimism is the ability to anticipate problems, but many social scientists noted many optimists can do this too! Anyone can learn to anticipate problems, and there's no benefit to dealing with problems in a pessimistic way. There are many study-suggested benefits to optimism, including better relationships and better health (seems appropriate benefits for this forum). Now, problem-denying IS silly. An optimist doesn't say, "No, I didn't really get laid off. And the economy is great!" An optimist says, "I got laid off, but I'll get out there tomorrow. It will be okay!" (Optimists are also more likely to get hired, btw!) And then he/she gets hammered with her friends to commiserate, just like everybody else. By the way, I despise "The Secret". Two reasons: it places happiness in the future, and still assumes it's a "perfect permanent state". Yes. I actually think some LoA philosophy is kind of interesting -- it basically comes from some fundamental ideas of the Universe in the Tao and Kabbalah, as well as some hoodoo concepts, but they get it really twisted -- but most of it is awful, esp. The Secret. I don't know anyone who still practices that now. It was a fad for a time, but it seems to have died out. There is nothing more annoying than the new breed of semi-new-age-The-Secret followers (and similar). Seriously, they should just cut it out with "they just cut off my leg but life is grand" BS? I find it so much more authentic for people to admit "my life sucks" every now and then. I'll admit I "use" the LoA (not the one in The Secret) as I understand it in the universe, and I think things like gratitude journals and vision boards really can help -- they've helped me. Heck, I'm new age-y. I even cleanse the house with sage and light a candle in petition sometimes. I suppose "Meeting Your Half-Orange" is a LoA book, and I really, truly feel it led me to meet my husband. So, when I say I also hate The Secret, it's not hating the whole idea of a Law of Attraction in the universe. But living your life with too much eye to the future and attributing everything to such mechanisms seems defeatist to me. I think I'm a very happy person. I practice Zen to stay a very happy person. I like being happy. If something sucks, I will say it sucks, but it never becomes "my life sucks." My whole life HAS sucked, but not since I became a happy person and found ways to stay happy and deal with conflict and tragedy when it happened without losing the entirety of my happiness. I honestly cannot imagine thinking "my life sucks" now -- even when something bad happens, there's too much good! -- unless something just awful were to happen to society in general. I guess I used to think happy people were fake too, when I was all dark and twisty. Except my step-father. I thought he was some weird exception. Turns out he was just like almost all happy people. The worst thing about hating happy people is they generally aren't going to be nearly as impacted by your hatred as you are. Ironically, they'll still be happy, and hating anything just makes a person unhappy! ETA: Kamille - I think I am fine with genuinely optimistic people (like yourself). It's just people who come across as fake with their positivity that bother me (basically what westrock said). They would never admit that they are feeling sad or rejected or whatever. I have literally seen a person crying while saying "This is a great thing that happened! I know it's just a stepping stone to the rest of my life!" sob sob. (after she found out that her boyfriend cheated on her). Okay, well, that's just silly. I can see saying something like that in retrospect (I totally can, about many "bad" things in my life, though not all of them) when things are better, and I can see being sad and acknowledging the hurt but also saying, "This will turn out to be for the best" in a vague way. But yes, people who deny pain are a bit tedious. Edited March 29, 2012 by zengirl Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 I prefer Ultra Realistic people. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 There is nothing more annoying than the new breed of semi-new-age-The-Secret followers (and similar). Seriously, they should just cut it out with "they just cut off my leg but life is grand" BS? I find it so much more authentic for people to admit "my life sucks" every now and then. I much prefer to look on the bright side of things. Life isn't long enough to dwell over the pointless things. Heck my house is 30k underwater and I'd really like to move. Instead of being in the dumps I just stay motivated. I put a plan in place to get myself to a point where I can move because whining about how bad life sucks sure never fixes anything. All complaining ever does is waste time. Instead you should be planning and taking actions to fix whatever issues you are having. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 There is nothing more annoying than the new breed of semi-new-age-The-Secret followers (and similar). Seriously, they should just cut it out with "they just cut off my leg but life is grand" BS? I find it so much more authentic for people to admit "my life sucks" every now and then. I worked with a woman who, every time I asked her how things were going, she would answer "awesome!!" with a big smile. She was going through divorces and everything else, but she adopted an "if I burst with happy enthusiasm, then how could anything possibly be wrong" style. Fine. I never wanted to get into her problems with her. I never wanted to take a swing at her facade. It was just insincere and actually created a barrier. I would have gotten the same fake answer from her no matter what happened. I would have preferred she just say, "things are ok. How are you?". Something that felt more real and built a little connection, instead of something that made me want to roll my eyes. It's just a little thing in the big picture. But it's there. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 What's the threshold for 'my life sucks' being healthy? Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 I don't think "my life sucks" is really ever a good answer either. People aren't excited to engage with Eeyore. It's more about the little connection that isn't possible when someone answers in such an obviously fake way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Exit Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 It's a new trend rife with contradictions. What's the point of the secret, if you should already be insanely happy then why do they care about attracting other things into their life? I've been bored enough to watch a few too many Wayne Dyer specials on PBS. He's the same way. Make no excuses, life is great, you can have whatever you want, la la la. Makes it sound like if your life sucks, it's your fault. Guess all the people starving in third world countries just didn't attract the right things into their lives! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 Fake people and shallow pop psychology are annoying, but "my life sucks" is defeatist, ungrateful and just as unrealistic for most of the privileged people who are posting on this site and those in our lives. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 I prefer Ultra Realistic people. That depends on their perception of reality I suppose. Link to post Share on other sites
Red Arremer Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 Personally I find people who are ultra positive all the time to be kind of annoying. I can't even articulate why really well, it just always comes off as really fake and sort of "uncanny valley" emotionally. It's like, nobody can be *that* happy, you're weird. Link to post Share on other sites
freestyle Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 I'm also concerned about what I've been noticing as an apparent, "Cult of Happiness" trend happening. I believe life will be a tapestry of every emotion, and experience. My fear is---that the more so-called 'negative' emotions are repressed, and deemed socially unacceptable.......................... (ironically, compounding their effect, once toxic levels of shame are piled on top) ..............the more mental and emotional health will be adversely affected. People may try to put on "a happy face, no matter what....." and either rug-sweep the other emotions, OR they'll project the negative emotions they don't want to own themselves, onto others. (which can do a LOT of damage to relationships).I've experienced this first hand. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 they'll project the negative emotions they don't want to own themselves, onto others. (which can do a LOT of damage to relationships).I've experienced this first hand. I said sorry. What else do you want? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
freestyle Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 I said sorry. What else do you want? Thanks for demonstrating my point........:laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 Negative people suck the life and energy out of a room. Emotional vampires. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 Makes it sound like if your life sucks, it's your fault. For most people, it usually is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 I much prefer to look on the bright side of things. Life isn't long enough to dwell over the pointless things. Heck my house is 30k underwater and I'd really like to move. Instead of being in the dumps I just stay motivated. I put a plan in place to get myself to a point where I can move because whining about how bad life sucks sure never fixes anything. All complaining ever does is waste time. Instead you should be planning and taking actions to fix whatever issues you are having. This! I think most people whine and complain way too much (usually about things that don't matter), and I think most people WORRY way too much about what other people do and think, as well as all the "what-ifs" life may bring. I am a happy person. I'd even consider myself "ultra positive". It's not fake. My life is not perfect, but I choose to focus on the parts of it that make me happy. I much prefer being silly and fun and laid-back to sitting around with a black cloud over my head thinking about how much life sucks. And if my sunny outlook annoys people, that's yet another benefit! I think most people make life harder than it is. Just relax and find the joy in today. If your life sucks to the point where you can't find any happiness, do something about it. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted March 31, 2012 Share Posted March 31, 2012 There's a happy medium between being unable/unwilling to express negative emotions and the full-on vomiting of negativity. It's okay to be happy or sad. But if someone's trapped in negativity, the only person they're hurting is themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
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