Dating best friend after divorce

[Asteroid]

Okay, here's the background.

 

My best friend and I met when I was 12 and he was 17. He quickly became like a brother to me and the entire time I was in high school we were very close. He started dating a friend of mine and she became jealous of me so we cooled the friendship off. He got married and I got married and we would see each other every month or so in a social setting.

 

Last year he went through a very nasty divorce. Since the jealous wife was no longer in the picture, we picked up our friendship again and started going out for dinners every few weeks. We've been the "poster" children for being able to maintain a platonic relationship.

 

My own husband and I had been having problems for some time now. In December, I discovered he was having an internet relationship with another woman. We entered counseling and at the beginning of February, we determined to get divorced and I moved out.

 

I didn't have an immediate place to live so I stayed with my parents for awhile. We don't always get along so I surfed other peoples couches until I could get my own place. A couch I frequently used was my best friends. So we ended up spending a lot of extra time together. And I started having feelings for him.

 

A few weeks ago, he asked if I would be interested in a relationship. We talked things over and decide to go super slow once my divorce was finalized. Well, that went out the window, and we've been dating for a couple weeks. So far the relationship has been going great. I feel like we are able to progress through the awkward finding out each others baggage part.

 

Several problems are inherent in this though. One, my divorce hasn't been widely circulated. Not only that but my ex and I kept our problems really quiet too. Most of our extended friends and family thought we had a great relationship because we never broadcast the problems. Just about everyone who knows has been absolutely stunned. I am not sure how to "advertise" it more.

 

Two, now I'm afraid that this new relationship will look like infidelity on my part. Even though my marriage has been on the rocks for awhile and I never had any thoughts about my friend until a couple weeks after I filed for divorce, if I were other people I would probablydon't have the thought that there was something more. Especially considering that before we talked about our feelings, I spent a bunch of nights sleeping on his couch.

 

At the same time. I feel like we've been sneaking around and I hate feeling like I need to hide anything. Absolutely no one knows about us. And I don't know how I would bridge the subject. Not only that but I don't know how to deal with the inevitable judgment.

 

Lastly and probably most importantly I feel like the relationship is moving awfully fast. We haven't had sex yet, but in the emotional connection I feel like we are further than any guy I've dated for 6 months. I don't want to screw things up by moving too fast. We've always been able to tell each other everything. I think that I would be a lot more devastated to lose him than I was to lose my marriage.

 

Thank you for reading. Fyi, I am 25 and there are no children involved.