Bed Buddies?!?! HELP TONY!

[Need Help NOW in TEXAS!]

Hey!

 

I've read some really great advice on this site and I'm hoping you guys can help me out.

 

Here's my deal: a couple weeks ago, I met my new roomie's best friend. Although I wasn't into him at first, as the night wore on he became a pretty cool person - smart, funny, amazingly attractive, and we've got a lot in common. We ended up getting together - no sex, everything but - and while Roomie wasn't impressed, she got over it really quickly and is now fully supportive.

 

This weekend, same thing happened. We hung out, had a great time, and ended up together. I'm not complaining - he's completely beautiful - but at the same time, he hasn't made a move to ask me out on a real date. I think he likes me - I think I can see it in his eyes, plus he remembers everything I've ever said, keeps silly little things I've given him, and totally makes sure my male friends are into me, etc, etc - but I can't help but wonder why he doesn't call during the week, or why he hasn't asked me out properly?

 

Am I being paranoid and/or too picky? What's the deal? I'd love to date this guy officially, but I don't want to push it. We haven't had sex yet, 'cause I'm not fully sleeping with anybody until I've got the relationship to back it up with.

 

Please tell me what the deal is, so I don't completely mess things up!

[Tony T]

I have a feeling his inaction has something to do with your roomie. It would be sort of awkward for him knowing that you will most likely give details of dates, sexual encounters, etc. to your roomie, his best friend. He may have had something going with her in the past, which is no more, but he may feel wierd about having you relate details of an ongoing thing such as girls often do.

 

Or it just may be that he is going very slow, taking his time. I think your new roomie is the best source of the information you seek. She knows what makes her friend tick, etc. However, I would be very cautious about telling your roomie too much or letting her know just how much you like her friend. If she discusses this with him (and you can bet she will surely repeat most of what you tell her about him), it could very well scare him away. You haven't done that yet, I hope???

 

There is always the chance that your roomie has designs on her best friend and, behind your back, is discouraging things between her friend and you. You just never know about these things. Just a possiblity. This is sort of a sensitive situation so you will have go with the flow of things.

 

Frankly, I think you ought to invite HIM to do something on the weekend and flush him out. If he turns you down, just confront him about where is head is at concerning the two of you. It seems rather curious that you don't see him on the weekends.

 

On the other hand, it looks like he enjoys lady friends a great deal. Find out what his relationship history is. Maybe he is fearful of close, intimate, long term relationships and favors more the buddy sort of thing. But even then, he could ask you to do things with him on the weekends.

 

Don't let this go on too much longer. Get to the bottom of it in whatever clever way you can...or confront him head on. Don't waste your time if he just wants to have you as another buddy...with benefits.