I share too much with my parents. How do I stop?

[7list]

I (20 M) moved across the country from my family about a year ago and I've since developed a bad habit of giving my parents way too much information about my personal life when we skype. I'll give details about dates I've been on and drunken escapades, but when I blurted out the story of my 1 night stand I realized I'd gone way too far.

 

Part of the problem is that even though I have an active social life and a good group of friends, I'm lonely here and while sharing a lot isn't inherently bad, I feel uncomfortable doing it and I'm sure my parents are uncomfortable with it too. I try to stop but feel like I'm unable to find the middle ground between completely eliminating contact with them and oversharing. How do I learn to talk to my parents like a normal person - without divulging all of the details of my life? Anyone had a similar issue?

[JoeyArnold]

Step one: start being more vague in what you tell them, how you tell them, why, when, where, & how often that you tell them. Try to procrastinate on telling them things too.

 

You have to talk to somebody. You have to find a substitute for your parents. I would rather tell my parents everything but if that's not the right thing to do then first find others to unload on first.

Edited March 30, 2012 by JoeyArnold

[january2011]

Agree, it will probably happen naturally when you find your feet and are less dependent on them for social interaction and emotional support. It's a manifestation of your neediness.

[darkmoon]

was once advised to never disclose what i wouldn't want splashed across a news head-line, but then i have had a crazy life

 

do your parents tell you all thier intimate details too?

i doubt it, so stop reporting for duty

[CarrieT]

I'm going to be a dissenter and state that having the ability to be that open and honest with parents is refreshing, healthy, and - ultimately - will only benefit you as you and they grow older.

 

When you get into your thirties and forties and your parents become elderly, having them see their little girl transform into a stable and intelligent woman will only make your relationship with them stronger.

 

Being able to share with people who are close to you in your life is important and I think you should continue and be thankful you have what many people in the world wish they could have.

[KathyM]

I think people of any age have this dilema--sharing too much information with others and then regretting it. I've learned to be selective with what information I give people, and just because they ask for information doesn't mean I have to give it to them if it's not their business, and as an adult, every detail of your dating life is not your parents' business. I think learning how to answer questions from others that upholds the privacy level you want to keep with them is a skill that takes some thought and self awareness. Maybe it would be helpful for you to go over in your mind before the call what subjects/things will be off limits and have a ready response to give when someone asks an intrusive question would be helpful. Learning to be vague in answers to people who are asking questions that are none of their business, and having it set in your mind beforehand what subjects/things are going to be private and not disclosed is the answer, IMO.

[setsenia]

Keep them on a need-to-know basis. Relay to them things that you feel confortable sharing such as school or work and general events. It's hard to shake that need to impress or "prove" yourself to your parents, but as you get older it gets easier to keep thongs surface level.