Be Patient, or let him go?

[retrochic]

Ok so, for one, I'm not used to posting stuff online on a forum but guess I'm a little desperate..lol.

 

My situation: been talking to a guy I met a couple of years back from a Christian dating site. I created a profile as I was "bored" and was curious to see what else is out there. One guy in particular messaged me and not normally is he someone I would just go "ga-ga" over, but thought what the heck, he's cute. Turns out we seemed to "click" and texted and messaged on Facebook a few times. Now mind you, I was in an emotionally abusive marriage and filed papers to divorce my husband. I wasn't looking to start up a new relationship, but was curious if there were any 'good guys' left out there. Anyways, after a couple of months, I told my new "guy friend" that I wanted to try and make my marriage work and he understood, said he would be praying for my marriage. In the meantime

 

Months went by and lo and behold, he "popped up" on Facebook (which I had since deleted his friendship)to see how things were going. I replied with a simple "things are good, etc." and that was the end of the conversation. After almost a year of still encountering abuse in the marriage, "he" popped up again (November 2011). At this point and time, I have pretty much checked out emotionally of the marriage and decided to separate. My guy friend and I have been chatting off and on ever since and the connection between us kept growing; so much so, his family was now knowing all about me. To my surprise, I received an email from him stating that although he thought I would be the 'perfect' woman for him, he felt that there was 'someone else' intended for me and he wanted to focus on his schooling (I'm 40, he's 30). I understood and left things at that.

 

About a couple of weeks later, I sent him a Facebook message asking him about something unrelated to our 'friendship', and ever since then, he would text me almost every day, sometimes throughout the day various times, calling me sweetie, making me laugh and telling me how blessed he was to have me in his life. A deeper level of connection I felt was being created and now his mother is getting involved and was feeling wonderful! He lives out of state from me and I am going to take a visit to see how he is in person, and if something more down the road can be created. There was a lot of flirting going on between the both of us, sometimes it was getting a little 'out of line' on both ends and we decided to keep things right and drop that sort of talk out of our texting and calls. The trip to visit was almost cancelled: first he said he was excited, posting it on Facebook then during a chat said that he was scared to meet me and the trip was almost cancelled. We talked things out and the trip is still on. I said are you sure now, and he said yes, he was.

 

Now his texts have been getting less frequent and am starting to feel confused and ignored. Granted I know he has a life too, but I got used to hearing from him everyday and was really starting to count on his funny and cute messages. I sometimes struggle with feeling like forget this, I can't deal with this, I'm freaking out and scared, but my heart aches at the possibility of keeping him out forever. Not sure I can just 'be friends' with the feelings that have been developing. He says he's still excited to see me. But I go through emotions of getting excited and yet freaking scared out of my mind, that I just wanna run and forget about him completely..

 

What is this I'm feeling? Should I be a little more patient with him and my own feelings or should I walk away? This sux.

[JoeyArnold]

He might be getting more serious about you. Maybe he doesn't want to mess things up with you by over-communicating with you.

[marsha80]

Is this the first time you are meeting each other in person?

[JoeyArnold]

Met a man a couple of years back from a Christian dating site.

Is this the first time you are meeting each other in person?

He lives out of state from me & I'm going to take a visit to see how he is in person.

 

 

What is this I'm feeling?

Just be patient: don't trust your feelings.

 

 

Maybe he doesn't want to mess things up with you by over-communicating with you.

There was a lot of flirting going on between the both of us, sometimes it was getting a little 'out of line' on both ends: so we decided to keep things right and drop that sort of talk out of our texting and calls.

He might be getting more serious about you.

Now his texts have been getting less frequent and am starting to feel confused and ignored. I got used to hearing from him everyday and was really starting to count on his funny and cute messages.