Pity sex

[Mme. Chaucer]

^^^

 

I know. Ironic, too, that so many men who don't have more impressive "resources" than these fellows, but who lack the entitled and / or angry attitude, are having sex. Right now. With women who aren't doing it out of pity.

[ThaWholigan]

That's because you are awesome!

, well not quite awesome yet I think, but getting there. I think being self-aware definitely helps.

 

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There's been a lot of talk about empathy in this thread, yet I think that while the dudes are talking about women having empathy for men in that position, I empathize with them being a man in a similar position, but I also empathize with the idea that women are unlikely to sleep with a guy they aren't attracted to and that's the end of it .

 

I'm a fair believer in a lot of spiritual and metaphysical ideals, and I believe that the energy that you subconsciously put out in the universe will be dealt back to you tenfold. Maybe it has to be that way to have some kind of balance, I don't know. But I can 100% fathom the idea of women picking up on certain things about a man that turn them off without realising exactly what it is. I know that a lot of guys will think that they aren't projecting a lot of these private feelings and adamantly retort that they are always nice and don't say a lot of the stuff they say. This to me betrays a lack of acute self-awareness to an extent.

 

I know that whenever I have felt anxious around a girl, I have ended up projecting this onto the girl, making the encounter as a whole anxious and then her lacking attraction. At the time, I thought I did a good job of hiding this, but in hindsight, I realized that in a very subtle way, my anxiety manifested itself intermittently. Therefore, I can imagine that the anger, jealousy and bitterness that some guys may develop for women, can end up being projected outward in some manner without you realizing it.

 

I believe this is possible, and is one of the reasons why I have had to make peace with the idea that at the time I wasn't attractive to the girls I wanted. I realized it was something that was happening with me internally so I sought to change that. The problem with some guys is that they shun the idea that they are wrong, and they put it to everyone that women are somehow responsible, citing women's bad choices, feminism, they don't like me because x superficial attribute etc. Seen it a couple times in real life, but nowhere have I heard this more than on the internet.

 

I never bothered with feminism or any of that stuff, primarily because I never thought it to be particularly bad other than the fact that some women use it as an excuse to disrespect and discredit men. But other than that, I had no interest in feminism or anti-feminism. So I guess that I didn't have much reprogramming to do with regards to how I looked at women and the "choices they made" with regards to who they slept with. Sometimes, it is probably a better idea to be introspective about this instead, and look to rectify one's situation and outlook, perhaps ones beliefs with regards to women.

[somedude81]

A male friend told me that the three things he gets from sex are

 

1. Physical release

2. A sense of having "conquered"

3. Validation from the woman wanting him

 

One, he can get from masturbation,

I don't know how it is for women, but for men, masturbation doesn't even compare to sex. The masturbation release is basically trying to live off of Mc Donald's as your only source of food. There's also chemicals that are released upon orgasm from sex and not masturbation. Not to mention it's an instinctual animal urge, that in itself could be it's own reason and from what I've read, much stronger in men than women.

 

Basically #1 being so strong is the reason men can go to prostitutes, because those guys are certainly not getting 2 and 3 from hookers.

 

Three wouldn't apply either, because the woman didn't really want to have sex. She did it out of that same combination of duty and compassion that makes people put money into a charity tin. Altruism isn't a great thing to be on the receiving end. It's far more life-enhancing, self esteem building and healthy to feel that another person is doing something for you because they want to. Because they too are getting something they want out of the exchange.

If the woman really didn't want to, then she wouldn't do it at all. Nobody donates money when they don't want to. And she's not getting paid for it either. While I can only guess what her motivations are, it seems that the woman doing it, did want to have sex with the guy and for the guy, it may be just enough validation.

 

Another reason for sex is, of course, the emotional intimacy with another person. A female friend might seem like the ideal person to get that from. However, if she isn't physically attracted to you, she's probably going to detach completely during the sex act in order not to be thoroughly creeped out.

What do you mean detach completely during the sex?

So I suppose my question for the men who believe that women should start going down the "give a man pity sex" road is...what do you believe you would get from it, that you couldn't get far more easily (and without any friendship awkwardness) from masturbation?

Just want to make it clear, that I have never said women should start giving out pity sex. I think it's strictly on a case-by-case basis. And then, only the woman can decide.

 

As for what to get out of it. I've already mentioned how sex is on a different level from masturbation. And I'm assuming that pity sex would be more real than hooker sex.

 

I think the mystique attached to women's bodies is something men place there...and that number 5 missing from all the reasons above involves the look, feel and smell of a woman's body up close.

That's a part of the animal thing.

It doesn't have to be "sacred," it just (usually) has to be something we really want to do. Whether it is a good or bad choice or whether the "reasons" are right or not isn't the issue.

Some men have a really hard seeing it that way.

 

We look at women who sleep with scumbags and think, why not me? I'm better than he is. I won't/will do X,Y,Z.

Right. I don't know why this notion is so often criticized or missed. Most women I know don't think of sex as "sacred" but they have to actually want to do it to go do it. If a woman doesn't want to have sex with you, it's not like she's placing her lady parts on a pedestal -- she just doesn't want to have sex with you. End-stop.

 

The notion of men saying, "But I'd have sex with someone I didn't want to have sex with," kind of misses the point. Johan tried to point that out with his extreme example -- and the answer is, no, if you were truly not into it, you wouldn't.

I've had a couple of friendships with girls end because of that.

 

I think the problem was, at the time I couldn't understand how a girl could so adamantly defend that she liked me, but didn't want to have sex, while she had sex with guys who were obviously using her. What hurt was that she was basically saying that the other guy was good enough for sex, but I wasn't. It didn't make sense for the girl to truly not be into it.

 

It comes down to, "I'd have sex with someone I didn't prefer." Many women ALSO have sex with someone they don't fully prefer

Sorry, but that basically goes against everything I've ever heard. Unless you are talking about hookers and other women who have very relaxed views of sex, swingers etc.

*I actually think 'pity sex' is a funny term because I think most pity sex isn't really pity sex. Calling it 'pity sex' is just a particular way of validating a choice. "Oh, yeah, that guy/gal isn't really good enough for me, but I had sex with them, so it was just pity sex

So you are saying that calling it pity sex, is just a way for women to rationalize it?

 

Why would they need to rationalize it at all?

[carhill]

IME, from listening to women 'vent' for decades, the ones who vented will have sex with a man they pity but are attracted to, for the 'reason' that 'they want to'. That makes sense. The machinations of how pity and attraction are resolved in their psyche are a mystery to me. Another of the disconnections in some people between expressed want and attraction.

 

If I inadvertently encountered one or more of such women, or a woman who would have 'pity' sex with me, I was unaware. I presumed, as was my perspective, that they wanted the experience and engaged in it out of love and/or desire. The truth of their psyche is unknown to me. That's OK.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Maybe if we feel sorry for ourselves, we should have pity sex … with ourselves. Problem solved!

[AIDsFan1488]

If sex is something you just do because you feel like doing it, then the whole argument about a womans emotions, self-esteem, etc that are so fragile they need to be guarded goes out the window. You don't have sex with your very needy, sexless male acquaintances because of vanity plain and simple.

 

Bottom line is for every woman that tells you she's got too many values to **** her best male friend, there are 100 women that will **** you for a bag of cocaine.

[Cypress25]

No, enlarging the topic from -sex- to emotions and "body" is what is outlandish when so many women trade sex for consideration every day of the world. If you don't do that, so what? -many- women do. Sex is what is being discussed here, end in itself.

 

Sex involves the body, there's no denying that. And for most women, sex involves the emotions too. Even if the only emotions involved in a one-night stand are lust and attraction, they are still emotions that a woman has to feel in order to enjoy sex. That's why prostitutes don't usually enjoy the sex they have with their clients.

 

If a woman who would have sex with a guy who took her on a nice vacation, a celebrity, a guy who gave her a gift, or even a ride in his Porsche or a sit in the hot tub in his mansion, for example, with no expectation of emotional fulfillment or intimacy, if she would EVER consider a ONS, FWB arrangement, etc., and there are MANY women who do such regularly, why couldn't she also give sex to friends or acquaintances, even if very rarely and subject to lots of conditions, as a matter of simple human compassion?

 

Even for those few women who do have sex without any expectation of emotional fulfillment, they are still physically attracted to the men they have sex with. Because they feel that attraction and desire, they are able to get aroused with those men, so they actually enjoy the sex. The sex is physically pleasurable for them because they are attracted to their partner. Without that attraction, sex would not be enjoyable for women. In fact, it would probably be painful because sex does not feel good when you're not aroused.

 

That's the difference. A woman who chooses to have a one-night stand with a man she's attracted to...she gets to enjoy the sex. She's not giving sex away as a favor, she's getting something out of it too. But a woman who feels obligated to have pity sex with her male friends or acquaintances...she won't enjoy the sex at all because she is not attracted to those men. The sex would be extremely unpleasant for her. Why should she subject herself to that? You expect women to make themselves miserable for your benefit?

 

Some men get richer, some men get poorer.

 

I'm in the poorer category and no woman cares. The world isn't fair , don't expect anything different.

 

Of course the world isn't fair. It's not fair for anyone. Your female friends would probably give you food or money if you needed it, out of compassion. But you're asking them to give you their body. You're asking too much! It's easy to give away food or money without a second thought, but giving away your body has a serious impact on your emotions. You think women shouldn't value themselves? You think they should just give away their body as if it's an object that doesn't feel anything? Women are not sex toys, whether you like it or not.

 

Think of it this way. If you're a boxer, you probably use a punching bag to practice. That's OK because the punching bag can't feel anything. You can punch it as much as you want, and it will never get hurt. It's just an object; it has no feelings, physical or emotional. Now, what if you decided that practicing on a person would be more realistic? You want a living human being to stand there and let you punch him as much as you want. That person would say no, of course. You can't do that, because a real person can feel those punches. He's gonna get hurt. Even if he doesn't get emotional about it, he would still suffer physically, with every punch. You can't use someone's body that way.

 

It's the same for women who you think should submit to sex when they don't want it. How do you think those women would feel while you're having your way with them? Probably the same way your human punching bag would feel while you're beating the crap out of him. It does not feel good. In fact, it feels very bad. The human body is not an inanimate object.

 

What do you mean detach completely during the sex?

 

This is generally what prostitutes do. They emotionally detach while they're having sex, so they don't have to experience the unpleasant emotions of having sex with someone they don't want. It's a psychological defense mechanism. It's not healthy, of course, and it's very difficult to do. It's not easy to shut off your emotions like that. Drugs like heroin and meth can aid in the process. They're basically numb when they're having sex. Sounds awful, doesn't it?

 

We look at women who sleep with scumbags and think, why not me? I'm better than he is. I won't/will do X,Y,Z.

 

Understandable, but you have to realize that you don't see those men the same way that women do. You might think he's a scumbag, but obviously she doesn't think so. And let's be honest. You only think he's a scumbag because you're jealous. Most women sleep with men who aren't scumbags, who are in fact great guys, and you still think "Why him and not me?" Your assessment of him is clouded by jealousy. He's not really a scumbag.

[Cypress25]

If sex is something you just do because you feel like doing it, then the whole argument about a womans emotions, self-esteem, etc that are so fragile they need to be guarded goes out the window. You don't have sex with your very needy, sexless male acquaintances because of vanity plain and simple.

 

Actually, women do not have sex with their very needy, sexless male acquaintances because they would not enjoy the sex. It would be a miserable experience for them. Why is that so hard to understand? Don't you think women should be allowed to enjoy the sex they're having? Why should they have sex if they'll hate it?

 

Bottom line is for every woman that tells you she's got too many values to **** her best male friend, there are 100 women that will **** you for a bag of cocaine.

 

But they are not the same women. Your friend tells you she's got too much self-respect to have pity sex with you, and your argument is "But other women would do it!" Fine, then go find one of those women. Just because some women will trade sex for drugs doesn't mean all women should do it. Just because some women are casual about sex doesn't mean all women should be. If you want a woman to have pity sex with you, you need to find a woman who's willing to do that. You can't tell your female friends that they should change their values just because some women don't have any. Not all women are the same.

[AIDsFan1488]

 

Oh ok, so that's what you mean by emotions. So if a woman has sex because she wants a promotion, in other words, out of greed, that's ok too right?

 

Women have sex based on lust, greed, hunger for power, revenge, and a whole variety of in my opinion, extremely negative emotions. But pity, oh no, what a travesty "I'll revenge **** my ex-boyfriends brother, but don't you dare ask for sex I would feel violated".

 

 

Even for those few women who do have sex without any expectation of emotional fulfillment, they are still physically attracted to the men they have sex with. Because they feel that attraction and desire, they are able to get aroused with those men, so they actually enjoy the sex. The sex is physically pleasurable for them because they are attracted to their partner. Without that attraction, sex would not be enjoyable for women. In fact, it would probably be painful because sex does not feel good when you're not aroused.

 

That's the difference. A woman who chooses to have a one-night stand with a man she's attracted to...she gets to enjoy the sex. She's not giving sex away as a favor, she's getting something out of it too. But a woman who feels obligated to have pity sex with her male friends or acquaintances...she won't enjoy the sex at all because she is not attracted to those men. The sex would be extremely unpleasant for her. Why should she subject herself to that? You expect women to make themselves miserable for your benefit?

[/Quote]

 

I know for a fact my touch would arouse you and most women, and you dont even know what I look like. It's not a matter of ability or inability for arousal, it's a matter of your vanity, it's a matter of keeping your pussies stock up.

 

Of course the world isn't fair. It's not fair for anyone. Your female friends would probably give you food or money if you needed it, out of compassion. But you're asking them to give you their body. You're asking too much! It's easy to give away food or money without a second thought, but giving away your body has a serious impact on your emotions. You think women shouldn't value themselves? You think they should just give away their body as if it's an object that doesn't feel anything? Women are not sex toys, whether you like it or not.[/Quote]

 

To give away food would rarely hurt you. It's comfortable compassion, something women are amazing at. What I'm talking about is you sacrificing something for someone you care about.

 

The problem is this: women don't respect their male "Friends", much less love them. The only man a woman takes seriously are the ones she's ****ing, even if he's thousands of leagues below the men she doesn't respect. While a womans loyalty is a beautiful thing, letting women loose in society has caused a world where they are loyal to the most retarded or least deserving men out there.

[somedude81]

This is generally what prostitutes do. They emotionally detach while they're having sex, so they don't have to experience the unpleasant emotions of having sex with someone they don't want. It's a psychological defense mechanism. It's not healthy, of course, and it's very difficult to do. It's not easy to shut off your emotions like that. Drugs like heroin and meth can aid in the process. They're basically numb when they're having sex. Sounds awful, doesn't it?

I still don't get the whole, having sex with somebody they don't want concept. Prostitutes can turn down anybody they want to, well those who aren't being coerced at least. I've never had any experience with somebody in that situation.

 

I got kind of off track with the prostitution thing.

 

I just don't think a woman having sex with a friend of her's she's feeling bad for isn't going to completely detach from the experience and treat it as a prostitute would. The very fact that she's giving him 'pity sex' would be because of her emotions.

Honestly, I don't think it's as bad as it is.

 

Understandable, but you have to realize that you don't see those men the same way that women do. You might think he's a scumbag, but obviously she doesn't think so. And let's be honest. You only think he's a scumbag because you're jealous. Most women sleep with men who aren't scumbags, who are in fact great guys, and you still think "Why him and not me?" Your assessment of him is clouded by jealousy. He's not really a scumbag.

Jealousy is not the only reason.

 

IMO any man who is emotionally, verbally or physically abusive to a woman is a scumbag and that doesn't stop them from getting into relationships.

 

That's just one non-jealousy example.

[somedude81]

Actually, women do not have sex with their very needy, sexless male acquaintances because they would not enjoy the sex. It would be a miserable experience for them. Why is that so hard to understand? Don't you think women should be allowed to enjoy the sex they're having? Why should they have sex if they'll hate it?

How do you know they'd not enjoy the sex or even hate it?

 

I know that sex is very mental for a woman, much more so than a man. But what if the man was actually a great lover? Would she not enjoy and instead hate the orgasms?

 

Anybody ever watch My Name is Earl? When Catalina let Randy have sex with her out of pity and he blew her away.

Edited March 31, 2012 by somedude81

[AIDsFan1488]

You know what I've learned somedude? To do whatever I want. I've realized that 99% of whether a woman wants to be with you or not relies on things mostly out of our control.

 

I'm going to do what I can, get back into muscleman shape (or atleast as close as possible), save up for a car, try and get a better job, all the shallow garbage in this loveless meaningless society that would make me go from invisible/rejected no matter what I do or how great I can be to "good enough". Then when I succeed I'm going to make sure to be as physically, emotionally and verbally abusive as possible, it's going to be awesome. Why? Because I can.

 

Women with their complex and noble emotions, will still choose me in that scenario over a guy who doesn't have all the shiny features. It's empowering to "choose" (IE women walking into the abyss because their irrational emotions control them). Just don't let my future girlfriend forget to do the dishes, I'll have to give her a fishhook.

[Cypress25]

So if a woman has sex because she wants a promotion, in other words, out of greed, that's ok too right?

 

Women have sex based on lust, greed, hunger for power, revenge, and a whole variety of in my opinion, extremely negative emotions.

 

I honestly don't know of any women who do that. You keep insisting that women have sex for all of these crazy reasons, but the truth is, most women have sex because of attraction, love, intimacy, pleasure, etc. Women don't generally have sex in order to get drugs, promotions, wealth, or power. That's all in your head. If you ever found a woman like that, she probably would be willing to have pity sex with you.

 

I know for a fact my touch would arouse you and most women, and you dont even know what I look like.

 

LOL oh, that's rich! The guy who can't get laid no matter how hard he tries thinks he has the magic touch that would arouse any woman. Honey, if that were true, you wouldn't need pity sex. You'd be getting laid all the time. The fact that you can't find any woman who wants to have sex with you seems to suggest that you actually repulse women.

 

What I'm talking about is you sacrificing something for someone you care about.

 

You're expecting women to sacrifice too much. It's no small favor you're asking here. People have the right to say they're not willing to sacrifice themselves for your benefit. It doesn't mean they're bitches and it doesn't mean they don't respect their male friends. It just means they respect themselves more. Self-respect is actually a good thing. I know you don't think so, because a woman's self-respect prevents you from getting laid, but self-respect is the sign of an emotionally healthy person.

 

Besides, having pity sex with a guy is NOT a sign of respect. It's a sign that she thinks you're pathetic.

[somedude81]

You know what I've learned somedude? To do whatever I want. I've realized that 99% of whether a woman wants to be with you or not relies on things mostly out of our control.

 

I'm going to do what I can, get back into muscleman shape (or atleast as close as possible), save up for a car, try and get a better job, all the shallow garbage in this loveless meaningless society that would make me go from invisible/rejected no matter what I do or how great I can be to "good enough". Then when I succeed I'm going to make sure to be as physically, emotionally and verbally abusive as possible, it's going to be awesome. Why? Because I can.

 

Women with their complex and noble emotions, will still choose me in that scenario over a guy who doesn't have all the shiny features. It's empowering to "choose" (IE women walking into the abyss because their irrational emotions control them). Just don't let my future girlfriend forget to do the dishes, I'll have to give her a fishhook.

 

I don't see anything wrong in trying to be the best you can be to attract women. But the desire to actually hurt them?

 

Would you kick a pussy because you finally figured out to entice it? It should be cuddled and loved.

[AIDsFan1488]

When the women in their 20's are lining up to get an STD from dirty old famous guys like Ozzy Osbourne, that's beautiful love and romance. The power of choice.

 

Technically every time a woman has sex it's prostitution. Some women **** for money, true. Others **** because they want your height, or your face or your sixpack. True love, where the man courts and jousts for his darling, doesn't exist anymore, women have destroyed it.

 

Oh by the way, how do I know you'd respond positively to my touch? Because I've been drunk a few times and grabbed women/put my hand down their panties, and they later on confessed that it made them horny even though I'm not considered attractive by women anymore. The same thing would happen to you, it's a natural response.

Edited April 1, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Personal attack

[Els]

SD, do you genuinely WANT a woman to give you sex solely out of pity? It's so strange to watch you try and convince women that they should do it for a friend. (It's also likely to make no difference)

 

If you really don't mind the sex without the intimacy or the woman's attraction, just go and get a prostitute. It'll be way easier and probably even more enjoyable than pity sex (which really isn't common).

 

Either that, or I suppose you could go and have 'pity sex' with an old, obese woman, in which both of you would just be helping the other out sexually. That is probably more likely than expecting a young girl to just come over to you and offer a one-sided favour (speaking for myself, it's a favour I'd never offer, if I really felt THAT sorry for a long time friend or something, I'd just give him $200 to get a prostitute).

[Cypress25]

I still don't get the whole, having sex with somebody they don't want concept. Prostitutes can turn down anybody they want to, well those who aren't being coerced at least.

 

Not if they want to get paid. Prostitutes are desperate for the money, that's why they do it. They don't do it because they enjoy it. If they turned down every client they weren't attracted to, they wouldn't have any clients. It's not the most desirable men who use prostitutes, you know.

 

I just don't think a woman having sex with a friend of her's she's feeling bad for isn't going to completely detach from the experience and treat it as a prostitute would. The very fact that she's giving him 'pity sex' would be because of her emotions.

 

Maybe if she actually wanted to have sex with him, she wouldn't detach, but in that case she's not really doing it out of pity. If pity is the only reason she's having sex with him, there's no way she'll enjoy it. Pity is not an emotion that leads to sexual arousal. For example, if I give a dollar to a homeless guy on the street, it's not because I love giving my money away. It's because I felt sympathy for him.

 

IMO any man who is emotionally, verbally or physically abusive to a woman is a scumbag and that doesn't stop them from getting into relationships.

 

And what about the guys who aren't abusive? There are plenty of great guys who are in relationships, are they scumbags too? Just because they're dating and you're not?

 

How do you know they'd not enjoy the sex or even hate it?

 

I'm talking about the women who are being coerced into pity sex, like AIDsFan1488's friends. These women have made it clear that they don't want to have sex with him, and he's trying to convince them to do it anyway. In that case, obviously they wouldn't enjoy it, because they don't want to do it. It's impossible to get aroused if you're having sex when you don't want to.

[AIDsFan1488]

I don't see anything wrong in trying to be the best you can be to attract women. But the desire to actually hurt them?

 

Would you kick a pussy because you finally figured out to entice it? It should be cuddled and loved.

 

 

Well I'm going to use woman logic here. You see , it's not illegal to verbally or emotionally bring women down until they feel like nothing, and women also do not have any legal or human right to being treated right (just like I don't have one to sex), so I can and will do it. Add to the fact that most women, if I had huge biceps and some tattoos, would not leave (no matter how "independant" they claim to be) out of their own volition, I would probably be able to smack them around and get away with it too!

 

I want the pussy to be enticed by me for me, not run to the first hand that's got food. I've always liked dogs more than cats because cats indeed remind me a lot of women, they are phoney, irrational, and will claw at your fingers if your hanging off a cliff.

 

The fact that I have to do all these things I don't want or need to get a girl to simply let me love her is beyond reprehensible. It's an expose of just how ugly and cruel women all are on the inside, and I will simply never let go of my hatred of them after my experience now.

[Cypress25]

Add to the fact that most women, if I had huge biceps and some tattoos, would not leave (no matter how "independant" they claim to be) out of their own volition, I would probably be able to smack them around and get away with it too!

 

You have a flawed understanding of what women want in a man. You think they want money, tattoos, and huge biceps? No wonder you can't get laid, you have no idea what women are attracted to. You're dead wrong about pretty much everything you've said in this thread.

[AIDsFan1488]

You have a flawed understanding of what women want in a man. You think they want money, tattoos, and huge biceps? No wonder you can't get laid, you have no idea what women are attracted to. You're dead wrong about pretty much everything you've said in this thread.

 

Blah-Blah-Blah-Blah , play me more of that bubblegum bull**** Cypress.

 

I know exactly what women want because I used to have it, and none of it was anything that would emotionally or spiritually fulfill them . I know bitches want to act like it's a big mystery but I will tell you from myself and my friends' (some of them used to be powerlifters too) experiences... essentially what women want is a hard dick attached to a really tall and broad shouldered body. Or a rich guy. That's it. If only more men had their 15 minutes of success with women for one of those reasons, then nobody would have any romanticism about the nature of womankind (in the modern world) and realize we need to grab them by the hair and bring back Patriarchy.

[somedude81]

SD, do you genuinely WANT a woman to give you sex solely out of pity? It's so strange to watch you try and convince women that they should do it for a friend. (It's also likely to make no difference)

I have not tried to convince anybody to anything.

 

I don't want a woman to do anything other than to do what she wants. I'm not going to ask anybody for pity sex, but if somebody offered, I would most likely not decline.

 

The major exception is that I would not accept pity sex from somebody I actually had feelings for. That would make things way too difficult for me.

 

If you really don't mind the sex without the intimacy or the woman's attraction, just go and get a prostitute. It'll be way easier and probably even more enjoyable than pity sex (which really isn't common).

All I've ever had is sex without intimacy. It's not that I don't mind it, it's been the only option.

 

As I said before, I'm assuming that pity sex would be more real than sex with a prostitute or somebody else who didn't care about me at all.

 

Either that, or I suppose you could go and have 'pity sex' with an old, obese woman, in which both of you would just be helping the other out sexually. That is probably more likely than expecting a young girl to just come over to you and offer a one-sided favour (speaking for myself, it's a favour I'd never offer, if I really felt THAT sorry for a long time friend or something, I'd just give him $200 to get a prostitute).

Make it $300 and we have a deal.

Not if they want to get paid. Prostitutes are desperate for the money, that's why they do it. They don't do it because they enjoy it. If they turned down every client they weren't attracted to, they wouldn't have any clients. It's not the most desirable men who use prostitutes, you know.

You are jumping to a lot of conclusions and over-generalizing about prostitutes.

 

Maybe if she actually wanted to have sex with him, she wouldn't detach, but in that case she's not really doing it out of pity. If pity is the only reason she's having sex with him, there's no way she'll enjoy it. Pity is not an emotion that leads to sexual arousal. For example, if I give a dollar to a homeless guy on the street, it's not because I love giving my money away. It's because I felt sympathy for him.

That's really only something that one who has had pity sex can explain.

And what about the guys who aren't abusive? There are plenty of great guys who are in relationships, are they scumbags too? Just because they're dating and you're not?

Still only focusing on jealousy? Try thinking out of the box.

I'm talking about the women who are being coerced into pity sex, like AIDsFan1488's friends. These women have made it clear that they don't want to have sex with him, and he's trying to convince them to do it anyway. In that case, obviously they wouldn't enjoy it, because they don't want to do it. It's impossible to get aroused if you're having sex when you don't want to.

I didn't fully read the discourse between the two of you.

 

I don't see how one can coerce somebody into pity sex.

Edited March 31, 2012 by somedude81

[AIDsFan1488]

Hey Somedude seems to have a really benign attitude towards women, he really likes them. The guy's Ghandhi considering all the rides women have taken him for. Doesn't get him laid either, does it Cypress? In fact, it doesn't even get you to maybe empathize with someone whose 30 and never felt desired by a woman. It's not your "moral" duty to care, so guess what, it's not anyone's moral duty to treat you with respect or as a human being deserves...wait there is no such thing as human beings deserving anything!!!

 

Just to entertain your lies, what do women want if it's not tattoos, tall height, money, and huge biceps? Come on, this is a carte blanche to mock my intelligence you get just once.

[udolipixie]

Unresponsive non sequitur.

More like you claimed it's all about perspective whether it's a negative or positive act. Then when it's her perspective being negative it's wrong and they will both be doing it as it's not about perspective if it's her perspective and you don't like what it is.

 

The asking a woman to give away sex in this case is asking to have sex with someone because she feels sorry for them not because she's attracted to

Or because she feels compassion. It's a matter of perspective and semantics as to whether the act is a negative or a positive one.

It's a matter of mainly her perspective and semantics as to whether the act is a negative or positive one as she'll be the one doing it.

Wrong, they will both be "doing it."

 

Why don't more women view sex other than as a medium of exchange? Why do so many women conceive of sex as something a man 'gets' from a woman instead of the consensual, mutual, pleasant activity that it is?

 

Wrong.

If wrong why is this thread so full of questioning of why women give sex to men who don't do nice things for them? Apparently the are sleeping with the guy because they're attracted to him haven't aught up.

If wrong why is this thread questioning women

 

Men generally want sex as an end in itself, and always have. The act of persuading or seducing, being nice to a woman, is not an exchange.

Many men do use it as such.

I did this & that you should have sex with me.

I'm a nice guy you should have sex with me.

I've been nice to you all this time you can't jet let me get my rocks off.

[xxoo]

Just to entertain your lies, what do women want if it's not tattoos, tall height, money, and huge biceps? Come on, this is a carte blanche to mock my intelligence you get just once.

 

 

Women want a man who turns her on. That can be different for each woman.

 

I've always swooned for the protective type. That doesn't necessarily mean tall and muscled. Tall and muscled guys are useless if they don't care enough to look out for me or stand up for me. The men who have done that for me all looked very different, but the effect is the same: instant crush.

[dasein]

Many men do use it as such.

I did this & that you should have sex with me.

I'm a nice guy you should have sex with me.

I've been nice to you all this time you can't jet let me get my rocks off.

 

What is called "pity sex" in this thread would be an act consisting of a woman performing a sex act for a male acquaintance with some motivation other than her pure desire or one of the other many motivations for having sex discussed in this thread. As such, her motivations and choices are at issue, and the question, "If she will do it for this reason, why do none profess to do it for this other reason? why is the concept so repulsive?" is a fair question.

 

Whether and to what extent men expect sex, feel entitled to it, etc., is completely irrelevant, always has been, yet you have been banging this gong the entire thread instead of addressing the simply framed question above head on. It's not that difficult a question. Why the constant subterfuge from you?