Please Help! ASAP! Relationship Emergancy

[Way In Love]

Ok My Boyfriend and I just got engaged when we first started dating we were both thinking we didn't really love eachother it was lust

 

Well we know we love eachother (we've been together a few months since that doubt) and well when we first started dating he never called me or anything and he cheated on me once when he went out and partied with hi friends

 

me and the girl he cheated on me with are friends now and they both say it meant nothing but my thing is it is ALWAYS in the back of my mind.

 

He now calls me EVERYDAY and we do EVERYTHING together and see eachother alot and we trust eachother. My thing is just when it's in the back of My mind and I am not thinking about it anymore I end up talking to someone who he told how bad he felt about it! The other day we had our first fight ever in our 1 year relationship and we got through it and our now stronger than ever and More in Love My thing is he told me today he was going to play b-ball! for some reason I got scared and was going to send my little sis over to like "spy" on him And I don't know why! I love him and I don't want this to end I just dont know what to do! PLEASE HELP!

[Tabatha]

I hope this will help you. You have to let him go. Your holding on to the past because of what he did. You have decide in your own mind whether you can get past the fact that he cheated once. You never did say whether he told you he cheated or whether you found out by someone else. That is very important. You will become obsessed with checking up on him if you allow yourself to. Don't send your sis to spy on him. What about the next time he goes out? You can't check up on him every single time. Do you trust him? That's what you have to ask yourself. If you do then toss those insecurities aside and let him go play b-ball. If you don't trust him now then believe me, you never will. I've been there, trust me. Does he check up on you? Do you trust yourself not to cheat on him? Don't give in to those crappy feelings of wanting to know what he's doing every minute of the day. You will become insanely jealous and push him away. I should know, I did it myself. Life is too short. Hope this helps you!

Ok My Boyfriend and I just got engaged when we first started dating we were both thinking we didn't really love eachother it was lust Well we know we love eachother (we've been together a few months since that doubt) and well when we first started dating he never called me or anything and he cheated on me once when he went out and partied with hi friends me and the girl he cheated on me with are friends now and they both say it meant nothing but my thing is it is ALWAYS in the back of my mind. He now calls me EVERYDAY and we do EVERYTHING together and see eachother alot and we trust eachother. My thing is just when it's in the back of My mind and I am not thinking about it anymore I end up talking to someone who he told how bad he felt about it! The other day we had our first fight ever in our 1 year relationship and we got through it and our now stronger than ever and More in Love My thing is he told me today he was going to play b-ball! for some reason I got scared and was going to send my little sis over to like "spy" on him And I don't know why! I love him and I don't want this to end I just dont know what to do! PLEASE HELP!

[Tony T]

If you got scared and was going to send your sister out to spy on your guy, your relationship is NOT stronger than ever and you are NOT more in love. Love is not jealous nor is it distrustful or fearful.

 

You may have the illusion that your love is stronger but until you can forget the past, your relationship can only be rather tentative.

 

You need to delete the past from the hard drive of your mind, have no part of people discussing how bad he may have felt about the past, and go forward with this relationship. If you are unable to completely forget and forgive for all time, this will never work.

 

If you cannot feel completely secure in your love, you will be quite miserable as long as you are in it. So get yourself together now and move forward. Do not discuss the past with anyone ever ever again. The past is only for history class at school.

[Heather]

Hi I just thought that maybe I could help since I have been through this before. My guy and I have been together for a little over 3years. Well about a year and a half ago he cheated on me, broke up with me, and moved in with the girl for three weeks. I was a mess! I almost quit school and it was hard for me to take care of our daughter. Well we ended up getting back together and have been together ever since. I still think about it some of the time, but I don't talk to anyone about it. The only time I talk about is when I am feeling I need to and then I talk to him about it. He agreed to this, because he wants me to get past this and we haven't talked about it in a couple of months.

 

What you need to do is try to not to let these feelings of insecurity get the best of you. Don't send anyone to spy on him. You say you trust him but there is no way you trust him if you feel you have to send people to spy on him. It will take a little time for this pain to heal. He does have to gain your trust back. If you feel that the relationship is that strong just sit back and let it flow. My guy and I are doing great! in a way I think the whole thing made us realize how much we mean to each other. I mean our relationship has never been better. So when someone tells you to leave this guy DON'T until YOU feel you have to.

 

You and your bf may be able to work this out and continue on with a good relationship. All relationships are different so just because mine worked out doesn't mean that yours will. Just keep working on it.

 

Good luck

 

hope it all works out.

 

Heather

Ok My Boyfriend and I just got engaged when we first started dating we were both thinking we didn't really love eachother it was lust Well we know we love eachother (we've been together a few months since that doubt) and well when we first started dating he never called me or anything and he cheated on me once when he went out and partied with hi friends me and the girl he cheated on me with are friends now and they both say it meant nothing but my thing is it is ALWAYS in the back of my mind. He now calls me EVERYDAY and we do EVERYTHING together and see eachother alot and we trust eachother. My thing is just when it's in the back of My mind and I am not thinking about it anymore I end up talking to someone who he told how bad he felt about it! The other day we had our first fight ever in our 1 year relationship and we got through it and our now stronger than ever and More in Love My thing is he told me today he was going to play b-ball! for some reason I got scared and was going to send my little sis over to like "spy" on him And I don't know why! I love him and I don't want this to end I just dont know what to do! PLEASE HELP!