We need more common sense...

[Steen719]

i read it, and all i can say is that kidd's wife seems to have some pretty deep seated issues ( and i feel so bad for his kids)

 

Oh, Kidd. I went to the site and I cannot imagine what that was like for you. I am so sorry. I don't know when you saw this in your efforts to reconcile, but I give you credit for even trying.

[Kidd]

Oh, Kidd. I went to the site and I cannot imagine what that was like for you. I am so sorry. I don't know when you saw this in your efforts to reconcile, but I give you credit for even trying.

 

Thanks for the sympathies. We were about 9 months into R when I discovered it. I lost my cool big time and then she filed. The kids still think we're on a 3 month break. She finally agreed to tell them abou the D together. I'll be sticking with the "it's nobody's fault" spiel. The kids are too young to hear the rest and I simply won't ruin their image of their mother. I have many years in front of me to mold my kids and to teach them life's lessons. I will find another way. I am pretty much ok finally but obviously it gets the best of me from time to time. I found the blog on Dec 26th so it's all still a bit fresh. As it relates to this thread, the level of selfishness and lack of commitment to people's, well, commitments still baffles me. I was raised quite differently.

[KR10N]

Many of us are here for support and to give support. But I sometimes find it hard to give support to people because I think I'm a bit conservative. You all know my background so I'm no saint. But what's with the attitudes people have these days about M?

Because, these days, so many people jump into marriages quickly and are unfaithful when they are in a marriage. And if you get pregnant you're expected to get hitched immediately. It's just a disaster waiting to happen.

Getting M, being in a committed R, being in love used to mean something... When did we all become so liberal that we expect to get good results from bad actions? It used to be that if you wanted to eff around, you stayed single. If you were getting M, you had to be pretty sure you wanted to be with that person for the rest of your life? You only said the words "I love you" when you meant it because with them comes a commitment to certain restrictive behaviour! What is going on?

Being in a committed relationship doesn't mean you have to be married. People have meaningful relationships all the time w/ out sharing last names.

 

I'm beginning to think that the real problem here...the cause of infidelity, marriage breakdown, etc is not that people are BAD. It's that there has been a serious erosion in the moral code to the point that what was long thought to be the common sense way to deal with relationships is now rare. I feel like people should now start testing their future S/O's to see that their values and beliefs are in line.

I think it's just pure laziness. No one seems to want to work on themselves for the sake of their marriage or children (if they have them).

 

Is there a larger issue at play here as I suspect? Anyone see this attitude problem? Where is basic common sense?

My common sense stops me from getting married.

[scatterd]

I think its to easy to divorce everyone knows if it does not work they can get out.We are not taught how to do

marriage and how hard it is to make it work.Our whole family has been divorced because of affairs as a matter of fact my brother wont marry because of it.We were taught how wrong that is and if you want others you should not be married for its a sin and wrong..I have seen both sides and it does hurt the children.If more people realized that no matter who they are with their will be something we do not like about them.The newness wears off with anyone your with and you may trade in one person for another with a whole different set of problems.Affairs are noticed more then ever because of the Internet, TV and such this has gone on for years

but I think its easier.People can go to sites made for cheating.Its so sad so many get hurt.

[Tayla]

Thank you Donnamaybe and Findingnemo for clarifying what the OP was adverting towards in this topic. Reckon my commentary doesn't quite fit the message at hand. My bad.

Will agree with the person who wrote of Rights verses Responsibility.

[findingnemo]

While I think this is true it is different now in that it's normalized and there's very little shame. Back in my grandparents day let alone the 19th century sure a man would go off with the maid or the governess or the neighbors wife but he forfeited his kids, his reputation, his friends most of the time. It was seen as a despicable act and he was socially punished. Now that doesn't happen. Now there's so many pats on the back and "whatever makes you happy" statements that it's much easier to justify it to yourself. As a result there is more anti BS vitriol and the OW are more self righteous.

 

JMO I can see a difference even if it did always happen.

 

Now I find that quite interesting!! I thought men got away with As and having babies outside M in the 19th century the world over. Wasn't that one of the problems of being a woman in a society with double standards? I doubt they forfeited their kids - men that is. There would be a scandal if it was a maid and possibly a duel if it was another man's W.

 

Wasn't it so? Or is my impression based on Hollywood tales?

[findingnemo]

Oh I get it now. Yes, their reputations were at stake if they even considered leaving their wives. Whether that was better for women is questionable though.

 

In my culture most people don't get Ds. We are fighting in my country to change the laws to allow women to access Ds as easily as men. The reason for this is that men (here) can be such b******ds!! They will get a OW, start having children with her, marry her customarily (as in outside of church...long story), move in with her as second W, and REFUSE to D the first W. What happens? The first W becomes a beggar literally chasing her H for tuition, money for support, etc. She can't have another R and is basically stuck in hell with her kids left feeling second class or worse.

 

Arrrrgh, don't even get me started. My freaking H is using the law to deny me the freedom to move on...and he just gets to sleep around freely and demands that he sees his kids as he wishes. he boldy told me that being married to me in name makes his life much easier. He won't let that go and doesn't give a damn about how I feel about it. So while you wish for days gone by, I sit here wishing we were ahead in terms of women's rights. Ironic, huh?

[SandieBeach]

The As, the idea that one doesn't have to be 100% honest, the idea that people can go online in search of an AP...a practical stranger...

 

So much seems to be up in the air these days. Someone suggested on another thread that in a few decades it could be acceptable for married people to have lovers. Why change things? Don't marry - just date.

 

I doubt that anyone will attack you for your views since you have a right to then. They may object but they won't attack.

 

Excellent thread, Nemo. I don't want to offend anyone by this (language isn't the greatest ;-), but I am going to quote Alec Baldwin's character from that movie The Departed as he is telling Matt Damon's character what it means to be married:

 

"Marriage is an important part of getting ahead.

You don't want anyone thinking you're a homo.

Married guy seems stable. People look at a

wedding ring and think: someone can

stand the son of a bitch. Ladies

see the wedding ring and know

immediately that you must have some

cash and that your c**k works."

[findingnemo]

Excellent thread, Nemo. I don't want to offend anyone by this (language isn't the greatest ;-), but I am going to quote Alec Baldwin's character from that movie The Departed as he is telling Matt Damon's character what it means to be married:

 

"Marriage is an important part of getting ahead.

You don't want anyone thinking you're a homo.

Married guy seems stable. People look at a

wedding ring and think: someone can

stand the son of a bitch. Ladies

see the wedding ring and know

immediately that you must have some

cash and that your c**k works."

 

So some guys get M for the status?

 

 

That's funny.:lmao:

[StoneCold]

Many of us are here for support and to give support. But I sometimes find it hard to give support to people because I think I'm a bit conservative. You all know my background so I'm no saint. But what's with the attitudes people have these days about M?

 

Getting M, being in a committed R, being in love used to mean something... When did we all become so liberal that we expect to get good results from bad actions? It used to be that if you wanted to eff around, you stayed single. If you were getting M, you had to be pretty sure you wanted to be with that person for the rest of your life? You only said the words "I love you" when you meant it because with them comes a commitment to certain restrictive behaviour! What is going on?

 

I'm beginning to think that the real problem here...the cause of infidelity, marriage breakdown, etc is not that people are BAD. It's that there has been a serious erosion in the moral code to the point that what was long thought to be the common sense way to deal with relationships is now rare. I feel like people should now start testing their future S/O's to see that their values and beliefs are in line.

 

Is there a larger issue at play here as I suspect? Anyone see this attitude problem? Where is basic common sense?

 

 

You're comparing "then" to now and that is comparing apples to oranges... different times completely. You imply that things were better then because they had more meaning and "morals"...it is possible that the only difference is that these days you see more then you did back then....back then things would be under wraps and all about "appearances" because people werent as accepting or understanding as now...now people dont hide it and dont care about "appearances".... people held their tongues and died inside back then...now people wont stand for it......back then a guy could come back from work, plop down in his easy chair and say "yo fix me a sangwich" lol; and restassuerd one a$$kicking "sangwich" will be in front of him in short order....now....well....you know.... people cheat now but people cheated back then too... again...its all appearances

 

doesnt mean that relationships were better in the past; just subject to different environmental constraints....which made it different

 

I feel like people should now start testing their future S/O's to see that their values and beliefs are in line.

 

 

 

What makes you think people arent already doing that? The problem is that ...............things change.....isnt that what makes marital breakdown so tough? You never anticipated it because the person you married back then was "on the level"....now they are not...what changed? god knows

Edited April 2, 2012 by StoneCold

[The Blue Knight]

I'm beginning to think that the real problem here...the cause of infidelity, marriage breakdown, etc is not that people are BAD. It's that there has been a serious erosion in the moral code to the point that what was long thought to be the common sense way to deal with relationships is now rare.

Is there a larger issue at play here as I suspect? Anyone see this attitude problem? Where is basic common sense?

This seems like a no-brainer to me but I'll toss in my two cents. Yes, societies moral code is practically non-existent today. We live in what began in the 1960s counter-revolution as "if it feels good do it" and now we're arrived at that destination. Great . . huh???

 

Add to that, the "all about me" mantra that so many people echo today, and of course the "immediate gratification" ideals that permeate and saturate all aspects of who we are, and this is what you end up with.

 

One only has to tune into the dumbed-down American TV shows to see the result of today's trailer trash mentality . . . . "16 and Pregnant" . . . "Jersey Shores" . . . and let us not forget the endless variations of "real housewives" all over the tube.

 

It used to be that Jerry Springer and Maury Povich were TV shows that those of us with jobs, families, and an actual life laughed at and mocked at the water cooler each day. Now, mainstream America is tuned in to this crap. It's like a line up of pure stupidity each night.

 

Add to that the fact that much of mainstream America listens to what poses for music . . . namely rap . . . which denigrates women, our social values, and places on a pedestal the importance of wealth, laziness, sex without commitment, non-accountability, and antisocial values.

 

I don't have much hope for where we are heading frankly.

[The Blue Knight]

Excellent thread, Nemo. I don't want to offend anyone by this (language isn't the greatest ;-), but I am going to quote Alec Baldwin's character from that movie The Departed as he is telling Matt Damon's character what it means to be married:

 

"Marriage is an important part of getting ahead.

You don't want anyone thinking you're a homo.

Married guy seems stable. People look at a

wedding ring and think: someone can

stand the son of a bitch. Ladies

see the wedding ring and know

immediately that you must have some

cash and that your c**k works."

Good movie. Some memorable lines as well.

[StoneCold]

This seems like a no-brainer to me but I'll toss in my two cents. Yes, societies moral code is practically non-existent today. We live in what began in the 1960s counter-revolution as "if it feels good do it" and now we're arrived at that destination. Great . . huh???

 

Add to that, the "all about me" mantra that so many people echo today, and of course the "immediate gratification" ideals that permeate and saturate all aspects of who we are, and this is what you end up with.

 

One only has to tune into the dumbed-down American TV shows to see the result of today's trailer trash mentality . . . . "16 and Pregnant" . . . "Jersey Shores" . . . and let us not forget the endless variations of "real housewives" all over the tube.

 

It used to be that Jerry Springer and Maury Povich were TV shows that those of us with jobs, families, and an actual life laughed at and mocked at the water cooler each day. Now, mainstream America is tuned in to this crap. It's like a line up of pure stupidity each night.

 

Add to that the fact that much of mainstream America listens to what poses for music . . . namely rap . . . which denigrates women, our social values, and places on a pedestal the importance of wealth, laziness, sex without commitment, non-accountability, and antisocial values.

 

I don't have much hope for where we are heading frankly.

 

TBK... you should bear in mind that the previous generations always had a disparraging opinion of the current one......its always something.... yet we continue on with a smarter, more informed current generation for all its "negative traits" (as perceived by the ones on the way out)....and on and on it goes

 

Thats life

[drifter777]

TBK... you should bear in mind that the previous generations always had a disparraging opinion of the current one......its always something.... yet we continue on with a smarter, more informed current generation for all its "negative traits" (as perceived by the ones on the way out)....and on and on it goes

 

Thats life

 

This is so true. Also, whatever we think about our parents & grandparents generation is probably a bit warped as we only have handed down stories. Do a little research and you will find that porn was very prevalent although they had no internet to make it available to all. The sex you see in those "vintage" (and I mean early 1900's) films is very much what you see today. I think infidelity was just as prevalent back in those days, it just wasn't talked about and betrayed husbands and wives suffered for the sake of the kids. Cheating has probably been as common as today since the beginning of man/woman.

 

I think monogamy and fidelity are not entirely natural for humans, however our intellect allows us to set moral standards for our conduct. The human intellect is what separates us from the animals - at least it's supposed to work this way. Some of us are able to rise above animal instincts and resist screwing other people once entering a committed relationship. We all have a moral compass of some sort, are some of us just stronger and able to remain true to our personal convictions?

 

As many of you have said, I believe cheaters are weak of character. They cannot or will not resist the urge for the instant gratification they get from having sex with a "new" person. They are unwilling to shoulder the hard work of fixing a relationship, of accepting their partner is not a prince or princess. To me, it's all about courage, strength of conviction, and character. I don't think older generations had fewer cowards than we have today. It's just that they were more hypocritical due to societies view on adultery.

 

Someone else mentioned that our society is more "permissive" thanks to the counter-culture revolution of the 1960's. I was there, and what I was fighting was the hypocrisy of American society as in let's call a spade a spade. We're not in Vietnam to fight communism, we're there to keep our war machine sharp and the defense contractors in business. The establishment drinks whiskey and wine to get off, we do acid and grass - what's the difference? You all screw in the dark, we want the lights on.

 

Long rant, but I really don't think people are any different today than 100 years ago. We just didn't have the internet and 24-hour news channels to put a microscope on anything they think will get them ratings. Sex sold just as well in the 1800's as it does today.

[frozensprouts]

maybe sex was just as much at the forefront 100 years ago, but there didn't seem to be the need for instant gratification that there is today...

 

like the old saying "the medium is the message"....today, the medium would be instant streaming of whatever you want 24 hours a day...what is the message there? That gratification should be instant, why wait? If we are not absolutely 100% ecstatic at this particular point in time...there's something wrong and rather than see that the issue may be within ourselves, we re told to seek all our validation and gratification externally ( and i'm not THAT old...I remember when things were different...we were taught restraint)

 

about the vietnnam era...I understand that those who did not approve of the "status quo" really wanted to make things better and cause a change...show the hypocrisy...but there are more than a few times when the consequences of third "open attitude" came home to roost...I have my own personal experience with this...

[The Blue Knight]

TBK... you should bear in mind that the previous generations always had a disparraging opinion of the current one......its always something.... yet we continue on with a smarter, more informed current generation for all its "negative traits" (as perceived by the ones on the way out)....and on and on it goes

 

Thats life

 

That cycle from generation to generation is very true SC, but I don't see us as smarter today. Sure we have loads of technology at our fingertips. But people today don't seem nearly as well-read or as well informed as they once were, and that's despite having access to a lot of information 24/7 at their fingertips. I'm always startled by the number of females who can tell me who Kim Kardashian (another trash TV show) is dating, but they have no idea Iran is threatening to launch nukes on Israel. Or the number of guys who are tuned into 24/7 sports and they have no clue what's going on in the world around them. That's the disconnect today that leaves me wondering where we're heading.

[StoneCold]

 

That cycle from generation to generation is very true SC, but I don't see us as smarter today. Sure we have loads of technology at our fingertips. But people today don't seem nearly as well-read or as well informed as they once were, and that's despite having access to a lot of information 24/7 at their fingertips. I'm always startled by the number of females who can tell me who Kim Kardashian (another trash TV show) is dating, but they have no idea Iran is threatening to launch nukes on Israel. Or the number of guys who are tuned into 24/7 sports and they have no clue what's going on in the world around them. That's the disconnect today that leaves me wondering where we're heading.

 

 

Well TBK...there are always going to be the ignorant regardless of the times..... and the masses will always love a good distraction (from since the begining of time).....it all depends on what stands out to you I guess.... I dont know too many people like you describe

 

Mind you the technology and higher understanding of things today is a result of being smarter.

[StoneCold]

This is so true. Also, whatever we think about our parents & grandparents generation is probably a bit warped as we only have handed down stories. Do a little research and you will find that porn was very prevalent although they had no internet to make it available to all. The sex you see in those "vintage" (and I mean early 1900's) films is very much what you see today. I think infidelity was just as prevalent back in those days, it just wasn't talked about and betrayed husbands and wives suffered for the sake of the kids. Cheating has probably been as common as today since the beginning of man/woman. .

 

As I mentioned earlier...back then it was about the cover up.... suck it up and take it..... go with it.....

 

People back then in general simply "took it" at the detriment of themselves....and notice how far the average person went in life? not very far

 

Some of us are able to rise above animal instincts and resist screwing other people once entering a committed relationship. We all have a moral compass of some sort, are some of us just stronger and able to remain true to our personal convictions? .

 

Some...but I think ultimately it boils down to people simply having a different "moral compass"; you may not agree with their reasoning but that doesnt necessarily make it wrong either (maybe in some cases)....just different.

 

As many of you have said, I believe cheaters are weak of character. They cannot or will not resist the urge for the instant gratification they get from having sex with a "new" person. They are unwilling to shoulder the hard work of fixing a relationship, of accepting their partner is not a prince or princess. To me, it's all about courage, strength of conviction, and character. .

 

Or some just may not care....or see the point given the circumstances...they may not see any courage, strength or conviction; just pointless behaviour.

 

It depends...

 

 

The establishment drinks whiskey and wine to get off, we do acid and grass - what's the difference? You all screw in the dark, we want the lights on.

 

 

....as it relates to what I said earlier..... different people just see and reason things differently.

[The Blue Knight]

Well TBK...there are always going to be the ignorant regardless of the times..... and the masses will always love a good distraction (from since the begining of time).....it all depends on what stands out to you I guess.... I dont know too many people like you describe

 

Mind you the technology and higher understanding of things today is a result of being smarter.

 

I'm not sure who you are hanging with. Rocket scientists and brain surgeons no doubt.

 

Aside from some of my work buddies and church friends, just bring up any important point in American history, a social issue, etc, and people look at you like they just had a lobotomy. Clueless.

[findingnemo]

TBK, I know exactly what you're talking about. People know more about Kim Kardashian's drive-by M and the current squabbles than about what's going on in the Middle East. They have no idea that the world is once again on the brink of war. War is far far away and Kim is right there on their TV.

 

I must say that I think this comes down to the new emphasis on the self. What many of us have been saying has changed is that people are too selfish these days to give a hoot what's going on with others.

 

War in Afghanistan? Who cares? Who knows? They will only find out if it is a sensational story like a US Marine going nuts and murdering a whole family. The details of how he came to be there, what he was doing there are irrelevant. Our news organizations do try sometimes to give us information but if they get into very serious topics, I'm afraid they'll lose viewers. So they too get on the bandwagon of "trashy" news.

 

Ask people who "Salman Rushdie" is and they will be blank. The other day I was having a discussion with some 20 something year olds at university. I quoted Marcellus in Shakespeare's Hamlet and said "Something is rotten in...Denmark". I was referring to the idea that corruption is rife but that it starts with the leaders in my country. They looked at me for a bit and then asked, "What happened in Denmark?":lmao::lmao:

[findingnemo]

You're comparing "then" to now and that is comparing apples to oranges... different times completely. You imply that things were better then because they had more meaning and "morals"...it is possible that the only difference is that these days you see more then you did back then....back then things would be under wraps and all about "appearances" because people werent as accepting or understanding as now...now people dont hide it and dont care about "appearances".... people held their tongues and died inside back then...now people wont stand for it......back then a guy could come back from work, plop down in his easy chair and say "yo fix me a sangwich" lol; and restassuerd one a$$kicking "sangwich" will be in front of him in short order....now....well....you know.... people cheat now but people cheated back then too... again...its all appearances

 

doesnt mean that relationships were better in the past; just subject to different environmental constraints....which made it different

 

What makes you think people arent already doing that? The problem is that ...............things change.....isnt that what makes marital breakdown so tough? You never anticipated it because the person you married back then was "on the level"....now they are not...what changed? god knows

 

I don't think Rs were better. In fact I think they were probably worse since if you were unhappy, you had absolutely no choice but to stay M. What I do think though is that M was seen as a permanent commitment which you couldn't get out of casually. The family was everything and if you seemed to not think that way, society sanctioned you.

[StoneCold]

I don't think Rs were better. In fact I think they were probably worse since if you were unhappy, you had absolutely no choice but to stay M. What I do think though is that M was seen as a permanent commitment which you couldn't get out of casually. The family was everything and if you seemed to not think that way, society sanctioned you.

 

Then thank the gods for change!!!

Edited April 3, 2012 by StoneCold

[StoneCold]

TBK, I know exactly what you're talking about. People know more about Kim Kardashian's drive-by M and the current squabbles than about what's going on in the Middle East. They have no idea that the world is once again on the brink of war. War is far far away and Kim is right there on their TV.

 

I must say that I think this comes down to the new emphasis on the self. What many of us have been saying has changed is that people are too selfish these days to give a hoot what's going on with others.

 

War in Afghanistan? Who cares? Who knows? They will only find out if it is a sensational story like a US Marine going nuts and murdering a whole family. The details of how he came to be there, what he was doing there are irrelevant. Our news organizations do try sometimes to give us information but if they get into very serious topics, I'm afraid they'll lose viewers. So they too get on the bandwagon of "trashy" news.

 

Ask people who "Salman Rushdie" is and they will be blank. The other day I was having a discussion with some 20 something year olds at university. I quoted Marcellus in Shakespeare's Hamlet and said "Something is rotten in...Denmark". I was referring to the idea that corruption is rife but that it starts with the leaders in my country. They looked at me for a bit and then asked, "What happened in Denmark?":lmao::lmao:

 

I dunno man.... You guys crap on the younger generation because they don't know all this "stuff"....and apparently you do.

 

But what have you done with this information? Have you used it to create a significant impact on others? Somehow I doubt it.... Or do you use it simply to question the intellect of others. I'm all for updating yourself but unless you use the information in a useful way you are in no position to look down your nose at others because you'd be just as benign as them

[findingnemo]

I dunno man.... You guys crap on the younger generation because they don't know all this "stuff"....and apparently you do.

 

But what have you done with this information? Have you used it to create a significant impact on others? Somehow I doubt it.... Or do you use it simply to question the intellect of others. I'm all for updating yourself but unless you use the information in a useful way you are in no position to look down your nose at others because you'd be just as benign as them

 

First of all I'm 30 something, closer to 40. So the younger people I refer to specifically are the 20 something's. The only reason I can quote Shakespeare is because I read. I always have been a reader. But if that was the only thing that had changed, I wouldn't complain so much. Not only do they not read the classics (which I believe is a serious education on it's own) but they don't read newspapers either.

 

If as you think the younger generation has opted for technology instead of the old fashioned things like reading and are therefore smarter, you're wrong. My main business is IT related. They don't know anything about computers that I don't know. My father uses all sorts of gadgets, apps, programs... He is 60 something. Who is better off? The one's who are technologically smarter or the one's who have both a reading culture and have technological knowledge? There's more to life than computers, you know.

 

To me the lack of knowledge is deliberate. There is no immediate gratification to be obtained from reading Dickens, so they don't. There is no fun in reading the news everyday be it in newspapers or online. It all goes back to the selfish attitude that is so pervasive in our minds. But to their credit, the younger generation is not to blame. We are the same...my generations that is.

[2sunny]

As I have shared previously, my parents were Quaker/Unitarian, I was brought up to believe that we each have responsibilty for our own actions, we own what we do with each act having cause and effect. The main theme running through all my upbringing was to do nothing that would knowingly harm or hurt another. It is something I have always tried to do, my son was brought up with the same mantra my father told me. In the morning you look in the mirror and tell yourself that today, you will be the best person you can be and try to do good, at the end of the day you look in that same mirror and ask yourself if you have done so, if not, why not and how you can do things differently tomorrow. No excuses to yourself and no doing something that benefits you if it is gained at the expense of others.

 

Of course there have been times when the night time mirror told me I should and could have done something differently and tried to do better the next day. I think that we are quickly forgetting those values of honesty and integrity and using justification for our own happiness to over ride any misgiving we might once have used to put the brakes on our actions. It has become a very me, me, me society, where self gratification and the need for all to be as the films or television tell us it should be outweigh any thoughts as to how our actions impact upon others.

 

I have often wondered if the person doing the hurting could visually see what their actions will cause, if they could see pain and broken heartedness, would they still be happy just doing what they wanted. If many of those who enable someone married to have an A met the BS, spoke with them, saw they are just people who love, struggle, support and wonder WTF is going on with their WS, would they still be OK with the A, or would they tell the WS to leave first and then come find them.

 

I have made quite a few friends on LS, many OW and I wonder that if I was the BS in their A, would they still want to enable my hurt? I hope not. Commonsense and compassion and in some respects, self responsibility has, I think, been buried under the avalance of I want. Doesn't work for me.

 

I agree with this.

 

Although I don't really place much of it in the common sense category - I moreso place it in the category of having a conscience.

 

I think of it like - with every action comes a reaction. And at times - no reaction is an action too.

 

And if I view it from a perspective of harms done - to myself and/or others - I like to think that I participate in life while considering "how will this affect me - but moreso - how will this affect others? Will this harm anyone or anything?" I like going to bed with a clear conscience.

 

And that is how I make suggestions for posters her. So that they can learn and grow - and possibly be honest with themselves and others to a point where they can affect the world around them in a more positive and productive manner.

 

I like to look at each situation as what harm has been done - land how can better balance happen in this situation? Who is handing over too much power? How can this poster gain a better sense of balance? How can the harm be eliminated- what needs to be done? Wo needs to be the one to take action - what is the action that can be taken? Is THAT person that should/could be taking the action DOING that? Many times here - the one that caused the harm just isnt taking the action to set the things right that they did wrong - and many times the one who did nothing wrong is doing all the action to repair the damage done.

 

It's a simple approach - but very difficult IF people aren't willing to be honest.

 

I like to live each day thinking maybe I had a positive affect for the fact that I'm still living...it surprises me that I'm still alive. Ithasnothing to do with wanting or needing anything more than what I have now... I am happy in this moment and in this day. Gratitude is everything to me.